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    Category: At The Checkout

    The customer has seemed normal and maybe even intelligent throughout the shopping purchase. But then they get to the checkout and as soon as human interaction is required it all falls apart. The checkout operators really are our first line of defense against the stupid customer!

    Shrewd With Shoes

    | Kansas City, KS, USA | At The Checkout, Criminal/Illegal, Liars & Scammers, Theme Of The Month

    (My manager is helping a customer and her daughter find a pair of shoes for the girl.)

    Manager: “This style has gone to clearance, so this is the only size we have left.”

    Customer: “Okay. Let’s try those on, and see if they fit her.”

    (My manager leaves the customer’s to try the shoes on. A few minutes later they come through my line to check out. The shoes are not in their pile of clothing.)

    Me: “So, you decided against those shoes?”

    (The customer seems flustered.)

    Customer: “Yeah, no. They didn’t fit.”

    Manager: “Since you aren’t purchasing them, could I have those shoes? I have another customer wanting to try them on.”

    (The customer points vaguely to the shoe section. My manager cannot find the shoes, so acting on a hunch, she calls security. I finish the customer’s transaction and bag her items. Security arrives a minute later, and the customer flees the store with her bags. Several minutes later, my manager and a security guard approach my register, holding the pair of shoes the customer said she left on the floor.)

    Manager: “I am going to have to write you up.”

    Me: “What? What did I do?”

    Manager: “You didn’t notice that woman had a pair of high top sneakers stuffed into her jacket! She threw them onto the ground as she was running. But since you checked her ID against her credit card and got all her information, I think I can let it go this time!”

    (Thankfully she was joking, and I wasn’t written up. She later testified in court against the customer, getting the thief’s name from the credit card she had used when I rang her up.)

    He Already Has Enough Issues

    | AB, Canada | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Spouses & Partners

    (One of my co-workers is checking out a couple.)

    Cashier: “Alright, so your total is [total].”

    (The wife starts paying with debit. Her husband is scanning our magazines at the side of the till.)

    Husband: *to the cashier* “Excuse me, miss? Can I get a magazine?”

    Cashier: “Oh, sure, I don’t see why not. We can do it as a separate transaction if you’d like?”

    Husband: “Oh? I have to buy them?”

    Cashier: *laughs* “Yes, sir. You would have to buy it.”

    Husband: “Oh… well then, never mind.” *turns to his wife* “This b**** won’t give me a magazine!”

    Wife: “Shut up; you’re being an a**!”

    (The two customers leave and the cashier turns to me.)

    Cashier: “I really hope he was drunk. If not, then what just happened?”

    Gift (Of Life) Box

    | Canada | At The Checkout, Awesome Workers, Family & Kids

    Customer: “Do you guys sell watch gift boxes?”

    Co-worker: “Yes we do!” *she pulls one out* “Will this do?”

    Customer: “Hmm, no. I need something a bit bigger. I need one large enough to fit a pregnancy test!”

    (My co-worker and I are leaning down, looking for a larger gift box. It takes a minute for us to process what she says.)

    Co-worker: “Oh! Congratulations!”

    Customer: *looking teary-eyed and grinning widely* “Thanks so much! I am so excited!”

    (My co-worker found her a box, and gave it to her on the house!)

    Purchasing Blood Wine

    | Atlanta, GA, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Food & Drink, Underaged

    (I see two guys who appear to be in their early 20s approach a self-checkout machine with a case of alcohol. One of them appears to have some tissue in his nose. The other is acting nervous. Given the exchange of money between the two, I suspect a third party purchase.)

    Me: “Good evening, gentlemen. I’ll just need to see both of your IDs before I approve the sale.”

    (The customer with the item in his nose scowls and turns his nose up at me, revealing the dangling string of a tampon.)

    Customer: *angrily* “Why do you need to see his ID? I’m buying it.”

    Me: “Sir, it’s the law and store policy that I check the IDs of everyone in the party purchasing alcohol.”

    Customer: “I guess I’m not buying this then, since he’s under 21!”

    (He storms off, leaving alcohol on counter.)

    Customer at the next machine: “What the h*** was that? Did he really just try that? And with a tampon in his nose?”

    A Dogged Request, Part 2

    | OH, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Pets & Animals

    (I am a cashier at a pet store that has a grooming salon. The customer is a very snotty woman who has a ticket from the groomers to ring up.)

    Customer: “I have a complaint about the service!”

    Me: “I’m sorry to hear that. I can get a manager for you to speak to.”

    Customer: “I don’t want to speak to a manager.”

    Me: “Well, maybe I can help you. What seems to be the problem?”

    Customer: “I got this grooming and styling service for my Pomeranian, and the groomers asked if I’d like bows in her hair!”

    Me: “Okay. I’m not understanding what the problem is.”

    Customer: “I told them that would be alright. So I just got my dog back, and they did it all wrong. I don’t like the color of the ribbons they used. They’re ugly.”

    Me: “They used a different color than what you specified? Did you ask them to use different ones?”

    Customer: “No, I didn’t ask for any other color. I just don’t like them.”

    Me: “Oh, well I’m sorry about that. I hope you have a nice day.” *continues to ring her up*

    Customer: “Wait a minute, aren’t you going to do something?”

    Me: “Well, if you don’t like the color, I’m sure the groomer will be happy to let you pick out different ribbons.”

    Customer: “I don’t want to.”

    Me: “If they’re that ugly you could always just remove them.”

    Customer: “I don’t want to do that. I want you to do something about it.”

    Me: “Ma’am, I’m just the cashier. The employees in the salon would be able to help you.”

    Customer: “I don’t want to talk to them. They are the ones who messed up. Why can’t you do something?”

    Me: “I’m just a lowly cashier. A manager might be able to arrange a solution for you.”

    Customer: “I already told you, I don’t want to talk to a manager!”

    (The line is getting backed up, and other customers are grumbling.)

    Me: “I don’t know what you expect me to do to help you. I’ve offered solutions. You don’t want the issue to be corrected. You don’t want to talk to anyone in the correct department. You just want me to do ‘something’. Why are you complaining to the cashier but refuse to talk to anyone else?”

    Customer: “Well… I don’t think I should have to pay for this! I think I should at least get a discount!”

    Me: “I see, so you’re complaining to me because I’m running the register, and you don’t want the problem corrected because you want something for nothing. Sorry, but you’ve received an $80 grooming, styling and nail cutting service. The ribbons are complimentary and not included. You already got them for free.”

    Customer: *flustered* “I… how dare you try to accuse a paying customer? This is slander! You should be fired for speaking to me that way! I want to speak to your manager!”

    (Just then, another customer in line behind her speaks up.)

    Customer In Line: “No, you didn’t want to speak to a manager, remember?! Why don’t you let actual paying customers, who aren’t trying to rip this place off, buy our stuff and go home?”

    Customer: “Are you going to let him verbally attack me like that? I demand you do something!”

    Me: “Okay, that’s it! I’m calling the manager…”

    (When the manager comes out and listens to her story, the other customer makes sure he hears my side. The manager asks one of the groomers if the woman had complained or asked for different ribbons. According to the groomer, the customer had told them everything was fine and the dog looked great. In the end, the customer is escorted aside to pay like a delinquent, while hanging her head in humiliation the whole time.)

    Related:
    A Dogged Request


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