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    Category: At The Checkout

    The customer has seemed normal and maybe even intelligent throughout the shopping purchase. But then they get to the checkout and as soon as human interaction is required it all falls apart. The checkout operators really are our first line of defense against the stupid customer!

    O Dear

    | Anchorage, AK, USA | At The Checkout, Technology

    (I’m working at the self-checkout area. I watch over the customers, and help them if they seem lost. One customer has a bunch of green onions, and is looking for them in the ‘No Barcode’ area, under ‘G’. This is a common mistake, so I go to help.)

    Me: “‘O’, ma’am.”

    Customer: “Oh, what?”

    Me: “No, ‘O’. It’s under ‘O’.”

    Customer: “It’s under oh what? What’s it under?”

    Me: “‘O’.”

    Customer: “Oh, what? What’s it under?”

    (I walk over to her and tap the ‘O’ button.)

    Me: “No, it’s under ‘O’. ‘O’ for onion.”

    Customer: “Oh. Oh, ‘O’!”

    Me: “Yeah, ‘O’.”

    Customer: “Oh, okay!”

    Real Sugar Can’t Be Beet

    | WA, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Food & Drink

    (A customer comes up with two packages of[energy drink].)

    Customer: “Is this sugar free?”

    Me: “Nope, afraid not. The sugar free usually has a lighter coloring on the box.”

    (The customer repeats his question twice more, and I repeat my answer twice more. Finally, he decides to buy the two packages of normal [energy drink].)

    Me: “All right, here’s your receipt!”

    Customer: “Wait here. I’ll go get the sugar free…”

    (Puzzled, I keep an eye on his groceries. When he returns, he takes the normal [energy drink] out of the bag, putting the new packages in the bag.)

    Me: “Sir, didn’t you want to purchase those, too?”

    Customer: “No! I told you, I was going to get sugar free! You rang me up for them!”

    Me: “Sir, I told you three times that you were buying the regular kind. If you want those instead, you’re going to have to do an exchange.”

    Customer: “No! I told you! I wanted sugar free! I have no time for this!”

    (I call over my supervisor.)

    Supervisor: “What’s up?”

    (I explain the situation, calling it a slight problem in communication.)

    Customer: “I told her; I’m very busy! I have no time for this!”

    Supervisor: “Sir, in the time it took me to walk over here, you could’ve had this done and been on your way. I’ll take care of this on another register.”

    (Without a word further, my supervisor takes the customer’s groceries and brings them to another register. A regular customer is behind the other customer, and has witnessed the whole thing.)

    Regular Customer: “Geez! People sure are awful, huh?”

    Got To Give Him Credit For Trying

    | MD, USA | At The Checkout, Money

    (We just opened for service. Our first customer of the day comes in.)

    Customer: “Hi, do you guys take [credit card name]?”

    Coworker: “No, sorry, sir.”

    (The customer leaves, but he comes back about an hour later.)

    Customer: “Hi! Do you guys take [credit card name]?”

    Coworker: “Nope, sorry. But we take checks!”

    Customer: “Nope, that doesn’t work. Thanks anyway.”

    (An hour later, he comes back.)

    Customer: “Still not taking [credit card name]?”

    Coworker: “Nope, sorry!”

    Customer: “Okay…”

    (He leaves, again. An hour later..)

    Customer: “NOW do you take [credit card name]?”

    Me: “Sorry, sir, we do not.”

    Customer: “Jeez, I’m never coming back here! You guys never take [credit card name]!”

    (He storms out. At the end of the day…)

    Customer: “So, how about now?”

    Gramps Grumps

    | MI, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Love/Romance

    Me: “Hi, how are you today?”

    Old man: “MEAN!”

    Me: “Oh no, that’s no good.”

    Old man: “Yeah, it scares off all the pretty ladies.”

    Me: “Well, you don’t want to scare them off; that’s no good.”

    Old man: “I’m 80; I can’t do anything else with them. I might as well scare them away; makes it easier for me that way!”

    Kicking Off Over A Kicking Off

    | FL, USA | At The Checkout, Money, Wild & Unruly

    (I am cashing out a couple who is buying a laptop and some anti-virus software. We have a deal; if you purchase a computer, your anti-virus will be free for six months or $20 for one year. One of the store managers is coaching me.)

    Me: “So, would you like six months of free anti-virus or one year for $20?”

    Customer: “The guy back there told us it was $17!”

    Manager: “No, it is actually $20.”

    Customer: “SO HE LIED?!”

    Manager: “Seems like he did.”

    Customer: “I’M GOING TO GO BACK THERE AND KICK HIS A**!”

    Manager: “Go ahead.”

    (The customer, her husband, and I are all taken aback.)

    Customer: “…Really?”

    Manager: “Actually, let me go get him.”

    (My manager leaves my register, and heads to our computer department. The customer’s wife is now laughing while the husband starts to sweat.)

    Customer: “Is he coming back? I was just joking! I still want the one year. I’m sorry! I was just joking!”

    (The couple quickly pays and leaves before the manager comes back to my register.)


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