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  • Category: At The Checkout

    The customer has seemed normal and maybe even intelligent throughout the shopping purchase. But then they get to the checkout and as soon as human interaction is required it all falls apart. The checkout operators really are our first line of defense against the stupid customer!

    Enquiring Children Enquiring About Children

    | TX, USA | At The Checkout, Family & Kids, Theme Of The Month

    (I am carrying on quite a conversation with a four-year-old girl while I check her mother out at my store. I am 19.)

    Mom: “Stop asking so many questions; you’re bothering the lady!”

    Me: “No! It’s okay; I’m happy to answer. I think it’s great that she’s so curious!”

    Mom: “You must have kids.”

    Me: “Oh no, not yet.”

    Little Girl: “You don’t have kids?!” *whimpers, sounding heartbroken* “Why? You don’t like kids?”

    Me: “No, no, I love kids! I’m just really young, and I’m not ready to have kids yet.”

    Little Girl: “Well… when will you be ready?”

    Me: “When I have more time and money. I want to make sure I can take good care of my kids, and right now I can barely take good care of myself!”

    Little Girl: “Well, that makes sense. Okay then!”

    (The little girl then gives me a nod approval.)

    A Triple Rainbow Of Pens

    | NY, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre

    (I work part time at the local convenience store that sells school supplies, snacks, basic clothing, and other things. A customer walks in smelling heavily of marijuana.)

    Customer: “Can I get some pens?”

    Me: “Umm, sure.”

    (I show the customer over to the area where we keep pens and pencils.)

    Customer: “Whoa… YOU GUYS HAVE PINK PENS?!”

    Me: “Yes, why?”

    Customer: “I didn’t know they made pink pens!”

    Me: “Umm… they make pens in every color, sir.”

    Customer: “Even… ORANGE?!”

    Me: “Yes, even orange.”

    Customer: “Even YELLOW?! Oh wait, that’d just be a highlighter.”

    Me: *points at yellow gel pens* “No, they make yellow pens too.”

    Customer: “WOW!”

    (The customer buys his pens and leaves. Good to know I may have changed someone’s life.)

    Doesn’t Know Rudimentary Rudeness

    | Boston, MA, USA | At The Checkout, Wild & Unruly

    (I come in several times a week, and most of the cashiers recognize me. Since I work retail myself, I’m always extra-careful to use ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ when I order. One cold day, I pop in for a cup of coffee on my way to work.)

    Me: “Hi, may I please have a medium caramel latte?”

    Cashier: “Skim milk, right?”

    Me: “Yes please!”

    (There is another customer behind me; I can hear her talking but am tuned out since I don’t know her, and I assume she’s on the phone. Suddenly she grabs the sleeve of my coat and yanks, pulling me off-balance so I have to catch myself on the counter.)

    Customer: “HEY! I’m talking to you!”

    Me: *totally rattled* “Don’t touch me. What do you want?”

    Customer: “I was going to say I like your coat, you stupid b****, but you’re the rudest thing ever, ignoring me!”

    (I am flabbergasted, but then the cashier jumps in.)

    Cashier: “She not rude, you’re rude! Don’t touch people! You need to leave now!”

    (The woman starts ranting and raving and we all just stare at her until she leaves.)

    Me: “That was awesome!” *leaves a big tip* “Thanks, see you tomorrow!”

    Self-Expression Lane

    | New Braunfels, TX, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Top

    (At my store, we try to send out baggers with customers who have the electric carts so they can bring them back inside and keep them charged. We don’t keep baggers on our express ’10-items-or-less’ lanes, so I call down to another register to have a bagger help out the customer I’ve just checked out.)

    Me: “Alright, ma’am, someone will be down in just a moment to help you outside. Have a good rest of your day!”

    Customer: “Thank you!”

    (The customer scoots up a little bit, but not completely out of the line. I begin ringing up customer behind her while the bagger makes her way over to my end of checkout. A customer in my line starts yelling.)

    Yelling Customer: “Lady, you need to move!”

    Customer: “Excuse me?”

    Yelling Customer: “Get out of the way; you’re holding everyone up! You’re not the only person in this store you know!”

    (The bagger arrives about this time, and she and the elderly customer proceed outside. I continue checking out people and eventually reach the man who was yelling at the woman. He proceeds to unload his cart and clearly has way more than 10 items.)

    Yelling Customer: “Wow, some people are just so inconsiderate. They act like they’re the only people on Earth. They just don’t care!”

    Me: “You’re very right. I find there are many folks who are unable to count to 10 as well.”

    Yelling Customer: *shuts up*

    Being Extra Extra Extra Polite

    , | Palmerston North, New Zealand | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Food & Drink

    (I’m working the drive thru.)

    Me: “Hi there, please place your order when you’re ready, thanks.”

    Customer: “Hi, could I get a [popular burger combo] with extra extra extra mayo, please?”

    Me: “Sure, that was [burger] with add mayo?”

    Customer: “Can you add more than that?”

    Me: *trying not to laugh* “Sure, I’ll add extra extra mayo. That’s [total], drive on up.”

    (When the customer gets to the window, I pack up her order, and laugh. They’d written ‘+mayo +mayo +mayo’ all over the burger wrap.)

    Me: “Here you go, miss, with extra extra extra mayo.”

    Customer: “Thank you!” *opens up the bag, and laughs* “Or, should I say, thank you, thank you, thank you?”

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