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  • Category: At The Checkout

    The customer has seemed normal and maybe even intelligent throughout the shopping purchase. But then they get to the checkout and as soon as human interaction is required it all falls apart. The checkout operators really are our first line of defense against the stupid customer!

    One Sandwich, Hold The Plural

    , | Stillwater, OK, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Food & Drink, Language & Words, Top

    (I am working at a very popular fast food place. I am very sick, and have tried to call in, but as we were short-handed, I am asked to come and just work the lunch rush. Since the lunch rush is over, my manager tells me to help the last two customers, who appear to be construction workers, and then I can go home. I smile brightly despite feeling like crap.)

    Me: “Hi, what can I get for you?”

    Customer: “I want [sandwiches]!”

    (I am confused, as he pluralizes the word and doesn’t specify the number of sandwiches.)

    Me: “Sure, how many would you like?”

    Customer: *glaring* “I… want… ONE… [sandwich]. Do you understand? ONE… [sandwich].”

    Me: “Sure, sorry for the misunderstanding. It’s just usually when someone pluralizes a word, that means they want more than one. Would you like the meal, or just the sandwich?”

    Customer: “I said ONE [sandwich]! I don’t want the d*** meal!”

    Me: “Okay, no problem. Would you like anything else?”

    Customer: “Yeah, give me a small fry and an orange juice.”

    Me: “Sir, it would actually be cheaper for you to just get the meal, which comes with a medium fry, and then you could still get orange juice as the drink.”

    Customer: “I said I don’t want the meal! Are you stupid?”

    Me: “No, sir, just trying to save you money. But that’s fine. Your total is [total].”

    (His total is a couple of dollars more than how much the meal would have been.)

    Customer: “Wait. How much would the meal be?”

    Me: “Just one moment, and I’ll total that up for you.”

    (I press a few buttons, canceling out his order, and replace it with the meal with an orange juice.)

    Me: “Your total doing it that way is [new total].”

    Customer: “Huh. I guess it is cheaper. I’ll do that instead.”

    (The customer pays, and I help the next customer in line, who is apparently one of his coworkers. This one is much nicer than the other one, and even says please and thank you. I get off work and go to change out of my work clothes so I can walk home. On my way out of the bathroom, I’m stopped by the two men.)

    Customer: “Listen, I’m really sorry for how I treated you. There was no excuse for that. I’ve just had a really bad day.”

    Me: “It’s okay, sir, really.”

    Customer: “This is for you.”

    (He hands me an apple pie, which he had apparently gotten after I had gone into the bathroom to change.)

    Customer: “Your manager tells me that you are sick today, and still came in. I never would have guessed you weren’t feeling well. Your customer service is really extraordinary, and I told him so.”

    Me: “Thank you so much, sir. I hope you have a much better day from here on out, both of you!”

    (They wish me a good day also, and tell me they hope I feel better soon. Somehow, after that, I DO actually feel better!)

    Makes You Want To Dye A Little, Part 5

    | UK | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests

    (I am a female and have worked in the same supermarket for the past five years. I used to be blond, but I decide to dye my hair red. Most people have commented about how they like the new color, and how it suits me, and how they don’t recognize me.)

    Customer: “Oh, I see you have dyed your hair. I almost didn’t recognize you.”

    Me: “Yeah, I was fed up with the original color, so I went for a change.”

    Customer: “Well, I don’t like it. I want you to change it right now.”

    Me: “You want me to leave work and pay to have my hair dyed a different color because you don’t like it?”

    Customer: “Yes, why is that a problem?”

    (The customer then stands there for another five minutes waiting for me to leave the till to go re-dye my hair.)

    Me: “Ma’am, I cannot leave my till until I finish work.”

    Customer: “Well that is just rude. I expect your hair color to be different when I next come in.”

    (The customer walks off. I look at my coworker, who looks just as confused as me.)

    Coworker: “Did that really just happen?”

    Related:
    Makes You Want To Dye A Little, Part 4
    Makes You Want To Dye A Little, Part 3
    Makes You Want To Dye A Little, Part 2
    Makes You Want To Dye A Little

    Saving Money And Wasting Time

    | Brighton, England, UK | At The Checkout, Money

    (I work for a supermarket that has launched a ‘price promise.’ If you spend more in the supermarket than you might have spent in a competitors, the till system automatically prints a coupon for the difference. If you saved money over shopping with competitors, it prints a little ‘for information’ slip to tell you how much money you saved over going elsewhere.)

    Me: “That’s £14.87 please, ma’am.”

    Customer: “Oh! I have this coupon! I can save 50p!”

    (The customer hands me a ‘for information’ slip that is not actually a coupon.)

    Me: “Ma’am, I’m afraid that’s an advice slip. You already saved your 50p on your last shop.”

    Customer: “Exactly. So I get 50p off now, right?”

    Me: “No, ma’am. This piece of paper says ‘You saved 50p’ and is for information only. If it was a coupon, it would have the writing ‘Save 50p off your next shop!’ instead.”

    Customer: “So it’s a coupon?”

    Me: “No, ma’am. It’s for information. If it was a coupon it would have the text as I described, and also a barcode beneath for me to scan to apply that discount. As there is no barcode, regrettably it is not a coupon, and unfortunately I cannot credit you with this 50p.”

    Customer: “So why did they give me a coupon to save me money if I can’t actually save any money?”

    Customer’s Husband: “FOR LORD’S SAKE, WOMAN! The lady has very nicely tried to explain several times that THIS IS NOT A COUPON. You ALREADY saved your money, so you can’t save it twice. Can we PLEASE just pay and go before people start questioning why I’ve not divorced you yet?”

    Customer: “Oh. Sorry, dear.” *to me* “Sorry to you too, dear! I don’t understand why they gave me a coupon I can’t spend, though.”

    Customer’s Husband & Me: “It’s not a coupon.”

    Some People Never Change

    | UK | At The Checkout, Criminal/Illegal, Liars & Scammers, Money

    (I’m on my first shift at a new grocery store job as a cashier. The store isn’t very busy, and things have been running quite smoothly. A middle-aged customer and her teenage daughter approach my register. I ring her up and bag her items.)

    Me: “That will be £8.90, please.”

    (While smiling sweetly at me, she hands me £10. I give her the appropriate change and receipt.)

    Woman: “Um, excuse me, trainee, but I handed you a £20 note.”

    Me: “Oh, I’m very sorry, I’ll just check that for you.”

    (During the transaction, I had opened only the register to put her £10 inside. Due to store policy, all £20 notes have to be put in a security box under the register. Therefore, no £20 notes are in the register at all. I apologize, and explain this to her. She is all the while still smiling sweetly.)

    Woman: “No, stupid girl, it was definitely a 20, wasn’t it?” *turns to her daughter*

    Daughter: “Yeah, I saw it.”

    Me: “I’m very sorry, but there is absolutely no physical £20 note in my cash register. Please, feel free to look.”

    (She leans over and looks, then withdraws, still smiling.)

    Woman: “Well, you must have just pocketed it while I wasn’t looking. Let’s not drag this out, honey. I’m not leaving until I get my change.”

    (At this point, I call over my supervisor to help me deal with the situation. The woman explains her stance and I tell him exactly what I informed the customer. My supervisor explains that he would be more than happy to review security footage if she suspects theft. At this point her smile seems to disintegrate.)

    Woman: “I really don’t have the time for this nonsense. If my hard-earned money means so much to that tramp then she can keep it.”

    (The woman finally picks up her bag and leaves, her daughter following briskly, but not before telling me to ‘get a life.’ My supervisor leans in and speaks in a low voice.)

    Supervisor: “Don’t worry about her. The girl she was with does the same thing whenever there’s a new face on a register. Now I see where she gets it from.”

    This One Definitely Needs Decaf

    | Washington, DC, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Top

    (I’m a customer at a popular coffee chain. I overhear the following exchange between the cashier, who has been there for years, and a customer.)

    Cashier: “Hello, sir, what can I get for you?”

    Customer: “Yes, I’ll have a decaf latte, with caffeine.”

    Cashier: “Okay… so a regular latte?”

    Customer: *impatiently* “No, a decaf latte with caffeine.”

    Cashier: “Sir, ‘decaf’ means ‘less caffeine.’ If you want caffeine, you want a regular latte.”

    Customer: “S***, was I saying caffeine? I meant with caramel. I’m an idiot.” *loudly to the rest of the line* “Don’t be an idiot like me, people!”

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