October Theme Of The Month: Halloween!

Category: At The Checkout

The customer has seemed normal and maybe even intelligent throughout the shopping purchase. But then they get to the checkout and as soon as human interaction is required it all falls apart. The checkout operators really are our first line of defense against the stupid customer!

Not Being Very Adult About It

| Pasadena, MD, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Rude & Risque, Theme Of The Month

(I work at an adult themed store. We close at 10 pm and I have just locked the doors. I have two friends waiting for me in the parking lot, and we start having a conversation. Before we know it, we have been standing around talking for two hours, when a guy in a truck pulls up and gets out of his car.)

Customer: *pulling on door* “Aw, are you guys closed?”

Me: “Yeah, we closed two hours ago.”

Customer: “Well, can you open real quick? I need to buy something.”

Me: “No, we closed two hours ago. If it was really important you would have come in earlier.”

Customer: “But it IS important! You should open and let me buy something!”

Me: “Dude, this is a PORN store. It’s not life threatening, so, no I will not be opening. Buy your sexy-time things elsewhere.”

Customer: *slinks off embarrassed*

The King Of Weird

| AR, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Theme Of The Month

(It’s close to the end of my shift and the store is near empty. I am so happy to have a customer. I greet the man who walks up with a broad smile and an energetic hello.)

Customer: “Well, hello there, cashier girl.”

Me: “Oh, hello! Did you find everything okay? It’s a beautiful night out, isn’t it?”

Customer: “Yes, but it would be more beautiful if you were in it.”

Me: *weird giggle*

Customer: *puffs out chest and leans on my counter* “You deserve a man that will treat you like a princess.”

Me: *seeing where this is going and needing to avoid it at all costs* “I’d rather be treated as an equal.”

Customer: “So, do you have a man that treats you like the princess you are?”

(I look this man up and down. He is clearly on drugs, about 55 years old, and wearing a cut off shirt and short shorts that do not cover his butt-crack or his legs.)

Me: “Yes, I have a man. And he treats me how I feel I deserve to be treated.”

Customer: “Hmmm, well, yes. But you deserve to be treated like a princess.” *tears the corner of his check I have handed back to him* “Take this. When you need to be pampered like the royalty you are, you can give me a call, sugar.”

(The man walks off with his cart, shaking his butt and singing some random song.)

Sweet Sixteen Is A Bitter Surprise

| Chicago, IL, USA | At The Checkout, Family & Kids, Theme Of The Month

(When I was sixteen, I was the only girl working at this particular hardware store. While I was scanning another customer’s purchases, and old man slides behind me at the register and whispers in my ear.)

Customer: “I didn’t find what I wanted, but that’s okay.”

(I jerk away from him, because he was quite close.)

Me: “Oh… I’m sorry, sir.”

Customer: *takes my left hand and caresses my ring finger* “Tsk, tsk. Boys don’t know anything these days. A girl like you should already be snapped up.”

Me: “I’m 16.”

Customer: *drops my hand abruptly* “Have a nice day.”

Stripped Of His Confidence

| USA | At The Checkout, Rude & Risque, Theme Of The Month

(This conversation occurred between me and a customer buying shoes for a wedding. I’m a tall girl and rather busty.)

Me: *after ringing up shoes and going through usual questions* “Okay, that will be [total].”

Customer: “Just a second.” *pulls out wallet, digs in pockets, and locates two extra bills in another pocket* “Hey, I found extra money. That’s great!”

Me: “Oh, yeah, I always love finding extra money at the bottom of my purse.”

Customer: “Oh, from your job as a stripper?”

(At this he freezes and his whole face is overcome with a look of absolute horror at what he’s just said. His tone isn’t insulting and in fact I got the distinct impression he must have a lot of female friends he casually jokes with without thinking. I’m standing there struggling between laughter and insult and settle on laughter as I’ve had a good day and he just looks like he feels really bad.)

Customer: “Oh, my god, I am so sorry! I didn’t mean to imply—”

Me: “It’s fine. It’s flattering to think I look good enough to be a stripper.” *poses*

(The customer laughed though clearly still felt bad, He paid and left with his shoes. Another coworker walked over, having heard the exchange, and we stared at each other a moment before we burst out laughing.)

A Significant Flight Risk

| Honolulu, HI, USA | At The Checkout, Love/Romance, Rude & Risque, Theme Of The Month, Transportation

(I work in a very touristy part of town and we have a lot of flight attendants who stop through the store. I see a guy and help him at the computer. This guy is close to 60.)

Me: “So you just click here and it should be good.”

Customer: “Oh, thank you. Say, where are you from?”

Me: “The Philippines.”

Customer: “Oh, my friend met his wife there. He basically waited outside of the college she was attending everyday and finally convinced him to go out with her. She eventually said yes. I’ve been there a few times since I’m a flight attendant. Beautiful women you know.”

Me: “That’s nice. I’m gonna go help out some other people. Ask me if you have other questions.”

(I loop around a couple more times around the store answering questions. He flags me down.)

Customer: “Marry me and you’ll fly for free.”

Me: “Ha ha. That’s the same line my friend’s dad used 30 years ago on his wife.”

Customer: “Well, it’s a good line.”

Me: “I think I’ll pass, but thank you anyway.”

(I loop around the store again, and start demonstrating a product features. I see him lingering in the back waiting for me to finish.)

Customer: “Thank you for helping me out tonight. You’re really sweet. Here’s my card.”

Me: “Uh. Thanks.”

(The card said, “You’re really charming and here’s my number. Let’s meet for drinks after work.” I never called, but he came back a few weeks later asking for help with his phone from my coworker. His phone background was a picture of some woman’s breasts. Gross.)

Page 114/285First...112113114115116...Last