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    Category: At The Checkout

    The customer has seemed normal and maybe even intelligent throughout the shopping purchase. But then they get to the checkout and as soon as human interaction is required it all falls apart. The checkout operators really are our first line of defense against the stupid customer!

    Deaf To Reason, Part 4

    | Mississauga, ON, Canada | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Bad Behavior

    (I am a cashier at a home improvement retail store, and an old lady comes up to my till holding a few cleaning supplies.)

    Me: Hi! How are you today?”

    Customer: *no answer*

    Me: “How are you today?”

    Customer: *no answer*

    Me: “Okay, your total comes to $17.36. Will that be on your store credit card?”

    Customer: *no answer, inserts card into reader and enters pin*

    Me: *hands her her receipt* “Thanks a lot! Have a good day!”

    Customer: “D*** kids! You could have at least said something. Isn’t it your job to make conversation with the customer? So rude!”

    Me: “I did. I asked you how you were doing, I asked if your purchase will be on our credit card, and I hoped you have a good day.”

    Customer: “Well, how was I supposed to know that? I’m as deaf as anything!”

    Me: *getting annoyed because of the lineup forming behind her* “You just heard what I said, ma’am. Have a good day.”

    Customer: “Well, I never! I’m going to get your rude a** fired!”

    Me: All right. You have a nice day, too.

    (The next customer walks up.)

    Next Customer: “Hi. I was wondering if you could charge me for a pack of toilet paper? That lady spread BS all over here.”

    Related:
    Deaf To Reason, Part 3
    Deaf To Reason, Part 2
    Deaf To Reason

    Flyer Doesn’t Fly With You

    | ON, Canada | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Money

    Customer: “Is this the item that’s on for $69?”

    Coworker: “Yes, that’s the one in the flyer for $69″

    Customer: “Okay, I’ll get it but I want to get other things too.”

    (Later the customer brings the item to my checkout.)

    Customer: “Is that the one on sale?”

    Me: “Yes, for $69.”

    Customer: “That’s the sale price?”

    Me: “Yes.”

    Customer: “Are you sure?”

    Me: “Yes.”

    Customer: “That girl over there told me it was in the flyer.”

    Me: “It is. For $69.”

    Customer: “Can you check the flyer?”

    (I humor her and check, but it takes me a little bit to find it in the flyer. Before I find it, the coworker from before walks by.)

    Customer: “Oh, that’s her! How much is this item?”

    Coworker: “$69.”

    Customer: “Great, thanks!”

    A Mixed Bag

    | USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Language & Words

    Coworker: “Paper or plastic?”

    Customer: I don’t care. I’m bi. I like it both ways.”

    Vacation Crime

    | ME, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Criminal/Illegal, Liars & Scammers, Technology

    (I work for a computer repair shop which gets a lot of work orders from a big company because we’re nearby and are known for how fast we repair units. We also use receipts for orders that are being picked up by others.)

    Customer: “Hey, I’m here to pick up a computer for [Supervisor].”

    Me: “Do you have the repair receipt for their computer?”

    Customer: “No, just use my ID.” *shows me work ID*

    Me: “Unfortunately, sir, I’m not allowed to give you any computer without a receipt due to security reasons.”

    Customer: *suddenly very angry* “Look! I’m an executive at [Big Company]. I can pick up as many computer orders as I want! Just shut up and do your **** job and give me [Supervisor]‘s computer!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir. But regardless of who you are, I cannot give you any computer without a receipt.”

    (The door jingle goes off, meaning another customer has come into the shop.)

    Customer: “That’s it! I’m gonna have your a** fired, you incompetent f***! I’ve never been treated so rudely!”

    Me: “Well, I hate to repeat myself but again, we’re not allo—”.”

    (At this point I notice a police officer and security guard from [Big Company] standing behind the man.)

    Customer: *practically yelling at this point* “What?! Not allowed to give me [Supervisor]‘s computer?! Well, I’ll –”

    Police Officer: “Mr. [Customer]. You’re under arrest for attempted robbery.”

    (The customer turns around to see the two men, and makes a break for the door only to be tackled in seconds and taken away by the police officer.)

    Security Guard: “Can you believe that guy? He quit and threatened to steal [Supervisor]‘s computer all because he didn’t get the vacation time he wanted.”

    Children Can Man-age To Listen

    , | NH, USA | At The Checkout, Family & Kids, Health & Body, Top

    (I’m a female-to-male transgender person who is not on hormones yet; despite this, I don’t have much of a problem with pronoun mistakes. The customer I have is a middle-aged woman and her young son, about six or seven.)

    Me: “Welcome to [Restaurant]. How are you today?”

    Woman: “I’m good.” *to her son* “Tell the lady what you want!”

    Son: “Momma, that’s a man.”

    Woman: “Shhh! Don’t say that! You’ll make her feel bad.”

    Me: “Actually, he’s right. I am a boy.”

    Woman: *ignoring me* “I can see why you’re confused, though.” *to me* “You need to start wearing makeup or something. My son is getting confused!”

    Me: “Ma’am, your son is correct.”

    Woman: *still ignoring what I’m saying* “And would it kill you to grow your hair out? Everyone’s going to think that you’re a lesbian!”

    Me: *getting fed up* “Ma’am. I. Am. A. Man.”

    Woman: “Why didn’t you say so?”

    Son: “He did. You didn’t listen, mommy.”

    Me: “Look, it’s not really a big deal. It happens all the time—”

    Woman: “Then grow some facial hair or something! I can’t tell what you are!”

    Me: “Um…”

    Son: “Mommy, stop being stupid!”

    (The son said his order and they checked out. The woman was completely silent after the son’s comment and she booked it out of the store.)

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