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    Category: At The Checkout

    The customer has seemed normal and maybe even intelligent throughout the shopping purchase. But then they get to the checkout and as soon as human interaction is required it all falls apart. The checkout operators really are our first line of defense against the stupid customer!

    In Need Of Potty-Mouth Training

    | TX, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Language & Words

    (I’m a cashier at a large store, and it’s nearly the end of my shift. Its fairly busy, and the customer I’m checking out is putting in her information for the check she’s writing.)

    Me: “Okay, go ahead and press ‘okay,’ and then sign.”

    Customer: “Alright.”

    (A couple comes up behind her with a three-year-old boy in the cart, and starts loading their items on the conveyor belt.)

    Young Boy: “F*** off!”

    Customer: “Excuse me!?”

    Young Boy: “F*** off! F*** off!”

    Customer: “Ma’am, shouldn’t you do something about your son’s mouth?”

    (The mother and father look shocked.)

    Mother: “Oh, h*** no! My son can say whatever he wants to some uppity b****!”

    (The customer looks surprised and hurt, and walks off after I give her the check and receipt. The manager comes over.)

    Manager: “Your son needs to stop yelling that to other customers in line.”

    Mother: “H*** NO!”

    Manager: “Then you can leave.”

    (The mother makes a fuss and leaves, while watching me like I have done something wrong. Afterwards, the manager turns to me.)

    Manager: “You wanna go home early?”

    Me: “Absolutely.”

    Unnatural Attitude

    | Anchorage, AK, USA | At The Checkout, Health & Body

    (This month, we are taking donations for children with a particular disease, and ask our customers if they’d like to donate at the end of the transaction. I ask the current customer if he would like to make a small donation.)

    Customer: “No thanks. I believe in natural selection.”

    (I freeze, and so does everyone standing behind him.)

    Me: “Sir, this is for children with [disease].”

    Customer: “Yeah, I know. Still, natural selection. If I had [disease], I know I wouldn’t want people donating to save me if I was going to die. The money can be better spent on other things.”

    (By this point, half the line is glaring at him, and I’m still stunned.)

    Me: “Even if you were a child, sir?”

    Customer: “Yup.”

    Me: “…here’s your receipt.”

    (The customer leaves, and I begin taking care of the next customer.)

    Next Customer: “Before you get too far, I’d like to donate $2 to make up for that guy. ‘Natural selection!’ What a monster!”

    (After this customer, everyone in line who has seen our exchange made a sizable donation for the cause! Certainly made up for ‘natural selection’ guy!)

    Putting The Day Into A High Note

    , | OR, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Food & Drink, Musical Mayhem

    (I am working the drive-thru at a fast food restaurant, and we have been having a rough night. It has been non-stop busy, and several customers have been very rude. A car pulls up, and I greet them.)

    Me: “Hi! How can I help you?”

    Customer: *singing in mock-opera style* “Just a momeeeennnt!”

    (Laughter erupts from the backseat, as a coworker and I exchange a look, stifling laughter.)

    Me: “Just let me know when you’re ready!”

    Customer: *still singing* “Can I get twwooooo large chocolate shaaaakes!?”

    (My headset is off, because I am laughing loudly as I enter their order.)

    Customer: “And one laaarge strawberry shaaaake?”

    Me: “Okay, I will have your total at the second window!”

    (They get to the window, and it’s a woman and two young girls in the back, all of them with big grins, and giggling.)

    Me: “That was absolutely fantastic! My coworker and I couldn’t stop laughing!”

    Customer: “Did we make your night?”

    Me: “Oh, yes!”

    (After the customer leaves, we spend another 10 minutes just laughing until our sides hurt. Thank you so much for the laugh! It’s people like you who make it all worth it!)

    A Negative Reaction To The Lotion

    | NB, Canada | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Health & Body

    (I work in the beauty department.)

    Me: “Good afternoon! Is there anything I can help you find today?”

    Customer: “Well, I’m here to return something.”

    Me: “That’s a shame. May I ask why you’re returning it?”

    Customer: “Well I just didn’t like it.”

    (There are only two ways we can return a product: if it’s defective, or if they have an allergic reaction.)

    Me: “I’m very sorry you didn’t like the product. However, I am unable to return it at the time. Can I ask you how much did you use?”

    (The customer hands me over the product and glares at me. I open the product to find that the entire thing has been used.)

    Me: “Ma’am, the bottle is empty.”

    Customer: “Well of course it is! I had to use it to find out if I liked it!”

    Me: “You can’t return this product, as there is nothing there to return. It’s like bringing in a shoe box with no shoes in it!”

    Customer: “Well, that just does not make any sense! You people should return this! I didn’t like it! This company is worthless!” *stomps off*

    And The Children Shall Lead

    | TX, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior

    (I am cleaning off my register, when I hear two customers arguing in my line.)

    Customer #1: “I was here first!”

    Customer #2: “No, I was!”

    Customer #1: “I WAS! I was here literally five seconds before you, b****! It’s my turn!”

    (Customer #2 rams her cart into Customer #1′s and gets ahead.)

    Customer #2: “I win!”

    (Customer #1 flips her off and goes to the next lane. I’m not really sure what to do, so I just start ringing up her groceries.)

    Me: “And how are you today?”

    Customer #2: “Oh, just fine! Can you believe the childish things people will do just to get ahead in line? I mean really!”

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