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  • Always Time For A Rhyme
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  • Category: At The Checkout

    The customer has seemed normal and maybe even intelligent throughout the shopping purchase. But then they get to the checkout and as soon as human interaction is required it all falls apart. The checkout operators really are our first line of defense against the stupid customer!

    To Give Credit Where Debit Is Due, Part 4

    | NC, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Extra Stupid, Money

    (I am helping a customer with a return. Due to past misuses of the system, our registers are set to only do returns in the original payment method, or as a store gift card.)

    Me: “Alright, ma’am, this was done as debit. I can either put it on a gift card, or back onto the same card, if you have it on you.”

    Customer: “What? Debit’s the same as cash! Why can’t I get cash?”

    Me: “I apologize, but that’s our policy. We can only do it in the method it was originally done, or store credit.”

    Customer: “Well that’s just wrong. Debit is the same as cash! Everywhere!”

    Me: “I understand, and I am sorry, but these are the only options I’m allowed.”

    Customer: *handing me her card* “Well fine, put it back on the card.”

    Me: *as I slide the card* “It may take one or two business days to show back up. Here’s your copy of the return, and I hope you have a nice day.”

    Customer: *reading her return receipt* “Hey! It says credit on here! I paid debit!”

    Me: “Yes, ma’am. The system has to credit it back to your card. It looks a little weird, but the money is going back.”

    Customer: “If I use credit, I’ll be fined! My card doesn’t do credit! That first receipt said debit!”

    Me: “Yes, the original purchase is definitely debit. Ma’am, it’s not charging your card; it’s crediting money back. I don’t know your particular bank, but there’s never been an issue—”

    Customer: “What is your name? If there’s a problem, I want to know. And give me that original receipt back. It says debit.”

    Me: “I’m [Name]. Give me just a second to copy some info off this receipt onto the return, and you’ll have it right back.”

    (At this point, the customer is fed up, and leaves without waiting for her original receipt. I staple it to the return, and turn to help the next customer. Several days later, the same customer approaches me.)

    Customer: “Hi. I was in here a couple of days ago, and you were helping me with a return. I… just wanted to apologize for the way I treated you. I was having a bad day, and I shouldn’t have taken it out on you.”

    Me: “Oh! Thank you! I take it the return processed as it should?”

    Customer: “Yes. But even if it hadn’t, there’s no excuse for the way I was acting.”

    Me: “Well, thank you. Everyone has a bad day now and then.”

    (Her making a point to return and say sorry was such a pleasant surprise; it improved the whole rest of my shift.)

    Related:
    To Give Credit Where Debit Is Due, Part 3
    To Give Credit Where Debit Is Due, Part 2

    Doing A Job On Having A Job

    , | London, England, UK | At The Checkout, Food & Drink

    (It’s about 6:30 am. I’m working drive-thru near to the end of an overnight shift. The queue is pretty slow because we’re serving breakfast, and many people have complex grill orders that need to be filled. A customer pulls up to my window and pays without saying a word. However, as soon as I start to take another order, the customer yells at me.)

    Customer: “Why is my order taking so d*** long?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but there is a fairly large order for the two cars in front. We’re rather understaffed today, too.”

    Customer: “Well, get them to move faster! It’s alright for some! Unlike you I actually have a JOB to get to!”

    Me: *stares down at my work uniform*

    Hope He Is Kidding

    | BC, Canada | At The Checkout, Food & Drink, Funny Names

    (I work in a coffee shop that has a drive-thru, and we’re currently in the afternoon rush. I’m wearing a headset, making drinks for my manager who is taking the drive-thru orders.)

    Coworker: “Hi there, welcome to [coffee shop]; how’s your day going?

    Customer: “It’s alright. Get me a large black coffee.”

    Coworker: “For sure! Can we get you an oat bar to go with that today?”

    Customer: “A what?”

    Coworker: “An oat bar.”

    Customer: *angrily* “No, I don’t want a goat farm with that!”

    That’ll Cost A BUN-dle

    , | Cedar Rapids, IA, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

    (I am on the headset working the drive-thru, and my boss is near me bagging orders.)

    Me: “Hi, may I take your order please?”

    Customer: “Yeah, what comes on your #6?”

    Me: “Mayo, lettuce, and tomatoes.”

    Customer: “What?! No bun?!”

    (I don’t know how to react at first, and I can’t stop laughing for a second before I can respond.)

    Me: “No, ma’am, it comes with the bun.”

    My Boss: “You should have told her the bun cost extra.”

    Has Not Registered The Lack Of Pockets

    | UK | At The Checkout, Liars & Scammers, Money, Theme Of The Month, Top

    (A customer brings some items to my register and I ring them up. The total is £5.50, and she hands me a £10 note. I’ve come across this scam many times, so rather than putting the customer’s money straight into the register, I always place it on top until the transaction is complete, and put it in the drawer at the last moment. It is summer, and I am wearing a light summer dress with no pockets.)

    Me: “Thanks, your change is £4.50, and here’s your receipt.”

    Customer: *staring at the money but not taking it* “I gave you a £20 note.”

    Me: “No, sorry, you paid with a £10 note. Your change is £4.50.”

    Customer: “No! I gave you a £20 note! You’re trying to short-change me!”

    Me: *smiling* “You gave me £10. This £10.” *I point at the note sitting on the register* “Your change is £4.50.”

    Customer: *red-faced and irate* “Get your manager!”

    (My manager is at a desk right behind me, and has heard everything.)

    Manager: “Can I help?”

    Customer: “She’s trying to steal my money! I gave her a £20, but she’s only giving me change for a £10!”

    Manager: *peering into my cash drawer* “Well, the drawer has two £5 notes, and about three £10 notes in it, but no £20 notes. Where exactly is the £20 note you paid with?”

    Customer: “Um… she must have pocketed it!”

    (The manager steps back, and makes a point of slowly looking up and down at my clearly pocketless outfit.)

    Manager: “Right… and where exactly would she have put it?”

    Customer: “Er…”

    Manager: “Right.” *to me* “Give her the change from the £10.”

    Me: “Here you go, £4.50!”

    Customer: “F*** you!”

    Manager: *to me* “I’ll make you a cup of tea. I think you need it.”

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