Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • Talking At-At Cross Purposes
    (1,382 thumbs up)
  • September Theme Of The Month: Return Of The Geeks!
    Submit your story today!

    Category: At The Checkout

    The customer has seemed normal and maybe even intelligent throughout the shopping purchase. But then they get to the checkout and as soon as human interaction is required it all falls apart. The checkout operators really are our first line of defense against the stupid customer!

    First Aisle Problems

    | Long Island, NY, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Geography

    (I’m a customer in line waiting to pay, when suddenly the registers freeze and have to reboot. There are two impatient customers in line behind me.)

    Employee: “Sorry, but the registers just froze. Please be patient while we reboot them.”

    Impatient Customer #1: “What did she say?”

    Impatient Customer #2: “The registers froze.”

    Impatient Customer #1: “Ugh, it’s like living in a third world country!”

    All’s Well That Messengers Well

    | Toronto, ON, Canada | At The Checkout, Health & Body, Money

    (I work at a healthcare store. Whenever we have promos such as gift cards when purchasing more than a certain dollar amount, we call our regular customers a week in advance to let them know. After each call, either actually talking to the customer or leaving a message, we put a check next to their name on our list. One cranky regular misses the promo weekend and comes in three weeks later.)

    Customer: “Hello, [My Name]. I’m just parked outside. Can you get me my products?”

    Me: “Sure, I’ll be right back.”

    Customer: “Don’t you have any promos? You haven’t had one since December.”

    Me: “No, I know it’s been a while.”

    (I make sure not to mention the promo three weeks prior, as I know she missed it, and I am sure she will throw a fit. I go to the back to get her products. As I am coming back, I see the customer yelling at my coworker. She then turns to me.)

    Customer: “This is so disappointing! I told you guys to call me every time you have a promo. [Coworker] said that you had one three weeks ago!”

    Me: “Oh, we did call you. I’m sure we did. You’re the first one we call.”

    Customer: “No, I did not get any call. No message. This is the second time!”

    Me: “I remember the first time you said your daughter forgot to tell you.”

    Customer: “Well, this time I really didn’t get any call! No message, nothing!”

    (The customer goes on and on as I am ringing her in, and I am just nodding. She’s always in a hurry, so I need to ring her in as I am listening. I can see the other customers looking at her.)

    Me: “I really apologize, but as you see here on our call list, I called all these customers including you. Your name even has an asterisk ’cause you’re the first one we call.”

    Customer: “Well, I didn’t get anything! There could be something wrong with my answering machine, but I doubt it! You guys owe me!”

    (The customer storms out of the store. The next day she calls.)

    Me: “Good afternoon, [Store]. [My Name] speaking. How may I help you?”

    Customer: “Oh [My Name], this is [Customer]. I just called to apologize for my behavior yesterday. I asked my daughter if she knew of any promos you guys had, and she just gasped because she forgot to tell me that you guys called.”

    Me: “That’s okay Mrs. [Customer]. It’s not a problem.”

    Customer: “Okay, thank you. Bye!”

    Fought For His Country, Not Just His County

    | NJ, USA | At The Checkout, Military, Money

    (Our store gives a military discount, but you have to have one of three types of nationally-issued ID cards to get it. It can’t be a state, county, or city-issued ID. My current customer has a county-issued veteran’s card.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir; we can’t take these. It must be a nationally-issued card.”

    Customer: “This IS nationally issued!”

    Me: “No, this is a county VA card. The county seal is right there. It has to be from the Department of Veteran’s Affairs in DC.”

    Customer: *blankly* “This IS a VA card.”

    (I pull out the cheat-sheet for cashiers.)

    Me: “It has to be one of these types. They’ve gotten very strict on that.”

    Customer: “I’m going to [competitor]! They know how to treat their veterans right!”

    (The customer storms out. A regular, who is a retired vet, comes up to me.)

    Regular Customer: “Good for you! I can’t stand people like that.”

    Me: “I was about ready to rattle off my parents’ names, ranks, and postings. Mom did her 22 years, and Dad’s a Lieutenant Colonel. And both of them would’ve told me that if I didn’t have my ID, too bad!”

    Stupidity Can Permeate

    | Brisbane, QLD, Australia | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid

    (I am working a ten-hour shift in a supermarket, and it’s my job to make sure all the checkouts are running smoothly.)

    Customer: “I was just enquiring about my free gift!”

    Me: “Free gift?”

    Customer: “Yeah, there was a sign next to where I picked up the milk, it said ‘something’ free. I want my free gift!”

    Me: “I’m not sure about any promotions with our milk, but let me go to the milk fridge and check for you.”

    (I go down to the milk fridge to check the customers query, and notice the ticket says “Permeate Free”. It is this new change to Australian milk, which now is free of a certain chemical that used to prolong the life of milk. I head back up to the counter.)

    Customer: “About time you came back! WHERE’S MY FREE GIFT!”

    Me: “Uhm, ma’am, the ‘gift’ you were enquiring about was our ‘permeate free’ condition.”

    Customer: “I don’t care; give me my free permeate!”

    Me: “Permeate is an additive of milk, and not a promotion. I can’t give that to you.”

    (The customer doesn’t even acknowledge my response out of embarrassment, and quickly pays for her groceries and flees the store. The next customer has been paying attention to this whole argument.)

    Next Customer: “Can I have my free permeate as well? Haha, only joking. What a knob!”

    A-Meow-Rica

    | Noblesville, IN, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Pets & Animals

    (I am a customer at a pet store purchasing a dog harness. It is actually for my cat, who is too big for a cat harness.)

    Cashier: “What a cute harness! What kind of dog do you have?”

    Me: “It’s for my cat. She’s a Maine Coon.”

    (The customer behind me overhears.)

    Customer: “You can’t buy that! It’s for a dog!”

    Me: “I know, but it will fit my cat.”

    Customer: “That harness is for dogs only! D-O-G-S!”

    Me: “But the cat harnesses are too small. My cat has to wear a dog harness.”

    Customer: “Are you a foreigner or something? Real Americans like dogs!”

    Me: “I am American and I like dogs, but I like cats, too.”

    Customer: “Un-American!” *storms off*

    Page 109/212First...107108109110111...Last