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  • Customer Service Is Over(reaction)
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    Category: At The Checkout

    The customer has seemed normal and maybe even intelligent throughout the shopping purchase. But then they get to the checkout and as soon as human interaction is required it all falls apart. The checkout operators really are our first line of defense against the stupid customer!

    Paying A Hire Price

    | Vancouver, BC, Canada | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Money, Top

    (I’m purchasing something from my workplace, and they happen to give very generous discounts to employees.)

    Manager: “Alright kiddo, that’ll be $5.59.”

    (I pay for my item. The next customer in line happens to be purchasing the same item.)

    Manager: “That’ll be $22.39, please.”

    Customer: “What!? That guy only paid five bucks for his! Why do I have to pay over $20?”

    Manager: “Sir, he works here. He gets an employee discount.”

    Customer: “Well, I’m not paying this price! I want to pay what he paid! This is a complete rip-off!”

    Manager: “Alright, when can you start?”

    Customer: “What?”

    Manager: “The discount is for employees only. When can you start? I think I can arrange an interview for you next week.”

    Customer: “Why the h*** would I want to work here? I already have a well-paying job! I don’t want to deal with any stupid customers!”

    Manager: “And that’s why he gets a discount, and you don’t!”

    Manners Are Not Just For The Young

    | Birmingham, England, UK | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Top

    (I’m the only person in the queue for the self-service tills. A woman has finished scanning her items, but is still packing them. A man comes up behind me. I look young for my age, and am dressed casually as it’s my day off. I also have red streaks in my hair from a charity day the day before.)

    Customer: “Are you queuing?”

    Me: “Yes, I am.”

    Customer: *pointing at where the woman is* “Well, are you wanting that one or not?”

    Me: “I’m waiting for the woman to finish.”

    (Instead of waiting behind me as I expect, he pushes past, goes up to the woman’s till, and starts trying to scan things through. The system won’t let him as the woman hasn’t taken her bags yet. After a few unsuccessful attempts he barges back past me and rejoins the queue.)

    Customer: “F****** kids.”

    Me: “At least this f****** kid had the manners to wait until the lady was finished.”

    Customer: *blushes*

    Politeness To Customers Is A Good Rule Of Thumb

    | Tamworth, England, UK | At The Checkout, Bizarre

    (I’m checking out a quiet, elderly customer.)

    Me: “That’ll be £11.25, please.”

    (The customer hands me a £20 note.)

    Me: “Thank you.”

    (I turn for a few seconds to sort his change, and get his receipt.)

    Me: “Here’s your—”

    (The customer is waving his partially amputated thumb in my face.)

    Customer: “I lost that in the war you know! They gave me £30 for that! I bought my first bike with it!”

    Me: “Th-that’s lovely, sir. Here’s your receipt and change; have a nice day!”

    Out Of Cigarettes, Out Of Patience, Out Of Luck

    | Anchorage, AK, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Top

    (My uncle works as a manager at a local gas station. I have just stopped by to drop him off a plate of food. I am on a first name basis with nearly all of the employees. I’m just finishing up a conversation with one of the clerks, when two customers walk up.)

    Clerk: “Welcome to [gas station]; what can I get for you today?”

    Customer #1: “Can I get a pack of [brand] cigarettes]?”

    Clerk: “I’m sorry, but it seems like we have run out of that specific brand. Can I get you something else?”

    Customer #1: “You always run out of the f***** cigarettes whenever I’m here!”

    Customer #2: “I told you this store was f***** ghetto! Let’s go somewhere else!”

    Customer #1: “This is bull-s***! Whenever I come to this f***** store, they always seem to be out of f***** cigarettes! Is it too much to ask that you guys actually keep cigarettes in stock!?”

    Clerk: “I’m sorry, but its been a busy weekend, and we have simply just run out. I could probably recommend another one of our gas stations nearby—”

    Customer #2: “We don’t need you to recommend s***! Get me your f**** manager right now!”

    (My uncle, who was helping out another customer, has heard the entire conversation. He comes to investigate.)

    Uncle: “What seems to be the problem?”

    Customer #1: “I’ll tell you what the problem is! Every time I come to this f***** store, you never have the brand of cigarettes I want! How hard is it to keep s*** stocked? This is why I don’t come to this ghetto-a** store!”

    Uncle: “Well, as my employee previously stated, we are all out of that particular brand. We are more than willing to sell you something else, or we can recommend one of our other locations, which is about a 10-minute drive away.”

    Customer #2: “We ain’t got no f***** time for this s***! Let’s get the f*** out of here. I hate this d*** store!”

    (They promptly storm out of the store. I walk up to the register to purchase my items.)

    Me: “Jeez, how hard is to take yourself to another store and buy your particular brand your looking for? I mean if it’s not here, then make things simple and move the h*** on! Don’t be a b**** about it!”

    Clerk: “We get it all the time, but we’ve just learned to tune it out.”

    Me: “It really isn’t necessary—”

    (Customer #1 storms back in the store.)

    Customer #1: “Which one of you said that? I heard what you said about me! Calling me a b****! I know it was you bad mouthing me!”

    (The customer starts pointing at the clerk.)

    Clerk: “I didn’t say anything about y—”

    Customer #1: “I heard what you said! Do you think I’m a stupid b****?! Give me your employee number; I’m going to write a letter to your corporate offices about this. I KNOW YOU SAID IT! I AM GONNA GET YOUR A** FIRED!”

    (I clear my throat, and tap the customer on the shoulder.)

    Me: “Actually, I said it!”

    (I’m pretty tall, at 6’2.)

    Customer #1: “What business is it of yours—”

    (The customer’s question trails off, and she turns and looks up at my face; her face pales.)

    Me: “I’ll tell you: it’s very much my business. You can find me in here almost every day, but it’s ignorant and stupid people like you that p*** me off! First off, it’s not this clerk’s fault that the cigarettes are out of stock. It’s not this store’s fault that they magically don’t have your particular brand of cigarettes every time you happen to come in. Furthermore, don’t you dare try and degrade this store. It treats all of its customers with respect, which is something in which you are OBVIOUSLY lacking. Another thing, if this store doesn’t have your cigarettes, “every time you come in”, then why don’t you just get a d*** clue and move on to the next store? No need for you to be raising all this h*** for nothing. As far as who said what, I made the comments about you being a b****, so if you wanna make something of it, then let’s step outside and I’ll be more than happy to kick your a**!”

    (The customer stutters, and hurries out of the store. The clerk high-fives me and my uncle treats me out to a movie and dinner later on that week!)

    Paying it Forward Credits Everyone

    | NC, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Food & Drink, Money, Top

    (My school’s residence hall is going on a fast-food run. My friend is really hungry, but has no money to go, so I give him all my cash to pay for it, as I intend to pay by debit. Most of the group goes to one specific fast-food place, but I am dropped off first to pick up some Taco Bell.)

    Cashier: “Cash only.”

    Me: “Excuse me?”

    Cashier: “I’m sorry, but the card machine is broken. We can only take cash at this time.”

    (I turn around to see the bus driving off to the other fast-food place.)

    Me: “Darn, I was really craving Taco Bell recently. Guess I’ll wait for the bus to get back.”

    (The only other customer walks up to me.)

    Customer: “Don’t worry. I’ll pay for you.”

    Me: “No, it’s fine; I’ll get picked up and go somewhere else.”

    Customer: “No, it’s fine; I’m paying for you. End of story.”

    (Without hesitating, she pulls out her pocketbook, and pays as I order. When I see my friend, I tell him the story, and tell him he doesn’t owe me a penny.)


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