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  • Bigotry Comes In All Shapes And Sizes
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    Category: At The Checkout

    The customer has seemed normal and maybe even intelligent throughout the shopping purchase. But then they get to the checkout and as soon as human interaction is required it all falls apart. The checkout operators really are our first line of defense against the stupid customer!

    Very Front Loaded

    | Orlando, FL, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Awesome Workers, Top

    (I stop in to my local superstore to pick up some dog treats. I decide to grab a soda for myself from the cooler. Just before I place my items on the counter, a man comes up to the line and starts talking to me.)

    Customer: “Hey! Can I go in front of you?”

    (I look at his full cart, and then at the two items in my hand.)

    Customer: “I mean, since I have so much less stuff than you, it’ll just be much faster.”

    (Again, I look at his full cart and at the TWO items in my hands. I pause for 30 seconds not fully understanding what’s going on before I finally respond. He seems kind of agitated and since I’m not in a hurry, and don’t want to cause an incident, I let him go in front of me.)

    Me: “Sure, go ahead…”

    (A few minutes later he’s finally done and I place my items on the counter. My total comes up to less than five bucks and I go to pay when I’m stopped by a woman who was in line behind both me and the man from earlier.)

    Customer #2: “Please, let me pay for these.”

    (I’m a bit shocked, and immediately protest, but the cashier cuts me off.)

    Cashier: “Kid, I’m not letting you pay. That idiot insisted on skipping you, even though you CLEARLY have less items than he did, and you didn’t make any fuss about it. You deserve much more than just this. It’s people like you that make this soul sucking worthless job bearable.”

    Carting Her Off To Justice

    | Woodinville, WA, USA | At The Checkout, Family & Kids, Wild & Unruly

    (I am shopping at a popular grocery and am in the long line to check out. I notice a cart nearby with a kid. It starts rolling into a shelf. I grab it before any damage is done.)

    Me: “Hey, whose cart is this with the kid?”

    (I see a woman at the meat department with a phone, talking away. I believe she has a purse that matches the coat on the cart.)

    Me: “Ma’am your kid almost rolled into—”

    (She waves me off and continues talking on the phone. I sigh, reposition the cart, then get back into the line.)

    Customer In Front: “Stupid woman, leaving her kid to roll off to God knows where.”

    Me: “I hope the phone call is worth the—”

    (I notice the cart rolling again, so I stop it. This time, the woman notices.)

    Woman: “What are you doing to my kid you… you… kidnapper!?”

    Me: “I was stopping the cart.”

    Woman: *snatches the cart from me* “Stay away from my baby.”

    Customer In Front: *laughs* “Well, least she paying attention now.”

    (The woman continues glaring at me. A few minutes pass, and the customer in front is done being checked out. However, I’m surprised when the woman and two cops approach me.)

    Woman: *points to me* “There he is, the kidnapper!”

    Officer #1: *to me* “Alright bub, let’s go.”

    Officer #2: *getting cuffs out* “I got him.”

    Customer In Front: “Woah, officers! Stop! You haven’t even heard his story!”

    Woman: “He tried to kidnap my baby! That’s the story!”

    (The two officers talk to people in the line about what happened, and are eventually convinced about my side of the story.)

    Officer #1: “Ma’am, please put your hands on the counter.”

    Woman: “What! What for? I’m not a kidnapper! I refuse!”

    Officer #2: “Please work with us, not against us.”

    Woman: “Arrest that man for kidnapping!”

    Officer #2: “Ma’am, you are under arrest for abandoning a minor, and for endangering a minor. We will contact your husband or a relative at the station to get your child.”

    Woman: “I’m innocent! He was kidnapping!” *she screams all the way out*

    Less Is More, More Or Less, Part 4

    | Baltimore, MD, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Money

    (I work in a large office supplies store that gives customers rewards coupons that act as a certain cash amount that can be spent on anything. We often send out separate coupons that expire on a Saturday, as that is when our sales change. This happens as I am working as a cashier on a closing shift on Saturday.)

    Me: “Hi, did you find everything you were looking for?”

    Customer: “Yeah, I think this is all I need.”

    (He hands me his rewards coupons, along with another coupon for $5 off a $25 purchase.)

    Me: “Oh, it looks like you’re not quite at $25, with only $17 worth of stuff. But your rewards coupons would take you down to around $3, so you’re fine!”

    Customer: “What? But I really wanted to use this $5 coupon. It expires today!”

    Me: “Well, you don’t have to use it, but I guess it’s up to you if you want to spend more money.”

    (The customer picks up all his things with a huff and walks away to look for more things. He returns almost 20 minutes later with many more things; one of the items alone is $40.)

    Me: “So, I guess you found more stuff?”

    Customer: “Yeah, this is how you get us to spend more money, huh? You give us these coupons that expire to force us to buy more at a time!”

    (Even with his coupons the guy spent around $30, ten times more than he would have spent originally!)

    Related:
    Less Is More, More Or Less, Part 3

    Belting Out Her Demands

    | Tacoma, WA, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre

    (I have just taken over a register where the guest has already been complaining the previous cashier was too slow.)

    Me: “Hi! Any coupons or gift cards you are using today?”

    (I move the divider out of the way to start ringing her items.)

    Customer: *gasps* “Um, yeah. You… you need to put that bar back down.”

    Me: “I am just moving it to start ringing your items.”

    Customer: “No! Put it back. It has to be there. The belt cannot move. Now!”

    Me: “Ma’am, I will be unable to reach the items if the belt doesn’t move.”

    Customer: “I will hand you the items. I will not have the belt moving!”

    Me: “Uh… why?”

    Customer: “I can’t have it move! I lose control of my items when the belt moves! I must be in charge of my items! IT CAN’T MOVE!”

    (She was having a freak out about the whole thing. I gave up and just tried to get her out as fast as possible.)

    It’s Going To Be A Bonus Year

    | NJ, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Extra Stupid, Holidays, Themed Giveaway

    (It’s New Year’s Eve, and I’m a customer in the supermarket waiting in the line for self-checkout. This supermarket has a bonus card, but you have to scan it AFTER you scan all your items. A customer is at the self-check in front of me, buying milk and pretzels. The lines are really long, and the self-check attendant is helping someone else.)

    Customer: “Why doesn’t this work!?” *waves her bonus card all over the scanner*

    Me: “You have to scan your groceries first, hit ‘Finish’ and ‘Pay’, and then it’ll ask for the bonus card.”

    Customer: “It’s not working!” *keeps waving card*

    Me: “That’s because you have to scan your groceries first.”

    (She scans her items, then starts jabbing the ‘Help Needed’ button immediately.)

    Customer: “See, the pretzels are supposed to be only $2, and it’s ringing up $4! This is wrong!”

    Me: “You haven’t scanned your bonus card yet. You need to hit ‘Finish’ and ‘Pay’ first, then scan the card, and it’ll take the money off.”

    Customer: “Do you even know how to use this?!”

    (I lean over, hit ‘Finish’ and ‘Pay’, and then the kiosk says ‘please scan your bonus card’. She does, and the discount applies.)

    Me: “See, $2 for pretzels.”

    Kiosk: “Please take your receipt.”

    Customer: “Now where’s my receipt? Stupid machine!” *stares in the wrong place*

    Me: *points* “Your receipt prints up there.”

    (The customer glares at me, grabs her receipt and storms off to the bagging area, where she stares menacingly at me while she’s bagging her items and putting her change away. To add insult to injury, she puts her purse in the bagging area so I can’t start scanning my items.)

    Customer: *finally leaves without saying thanks*

    Me: “You’re welcome! Happy New Year to you, too!”


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