Category: At The Checkout

The customer has seemed normal and maybe even intelligent throughout the shopping purchase. But then they get to the checkout and as soon as human interaction is required it all falls apart. The checkout operators really are our first line of defense against the stupid customer!

Finally Sees Cents

| Melbourne, VIC, Australia | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Math & Science, Money, Theme Of The Month

(The price of the fuel has gone up, from $0.537 cents per litre, to $0.539 cents per litre. We always change the outside signs BEFORE we change the price on the pump. A customer pulls up just as the price is changing. She fills her car with fuel and pays. She turns to leave, then looks at her receipt. She returns to the counter.)

Customer: “Um, excuse me, but you have ripped me off. You have charged me the wrong price.”

Me: I’m sorry? Let me take a look at the receipt.

(I look at the receipt, and it clearly shows the price as being $0.539 cents per litre. She had purchased 25 litres.)

Customer: “See, it’s the wrong price. You are rip-off merchants. You have stolen my money!”

Me: “Ma’am, the price is correct, I’m unsure as to what you are referring.”

Customer: “When I drove in, the pump said 53.7 and then you charge me 53.9 cents a litre! That’s extortion!”

Me: “Well, actually the signs outside clearly indicate the price, and the pumps had just changed as you pulled up.”

Customer: “So you admit it! You have ripped me off! I want to see the manager!”

Me: “I am the manager, ma’am. For the inconvenience, I shall refund you the difference.”

(I hand her the five cents.)

Customer: “Seriously? I’m not stupid you know! It’s a lot more than just five cents!”

Me: “Well, ma’am, you purchased 25 litres yes?”

Customer: “Yes!”

Me: “The price went from 53.7 CENTS a litre to 53.9 CENTS a litre?”

Customer: “Yes!”

Me: “So 25 multiplied by .2 of a cent equates to 5 cents.”

(Red faced and obviously extremely mortified, the customer raced out of the store without so much as a ‘sorry!’)

Paying The Price Of Stupidity

| Australia | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Money, Theme Of The Month, Top

Customer: “What is the price of this?”

Me: *looking at price sticker* “It’s $20.”

Customer: “I thought things here were discounted?”

Me: “They are.” *I point to the price tag* “The original price was $100.”

(The customer points to the sticker with item’s model number printed on it.)

Customer: “That’s the price there.”

Me: “No. That’s the model number.”

Customer: “That’s the price, $3.85.”

Me: “No. There is no dollar sign in front of the number. It’s not the price, it’s the model number.”

Customer: “It’s clearly printed and it’s the price. You have to give it to me at that price, just as it’s written.”

Me: “Okay. You’ve got me. That’ll be $385, please.”

Customer: “What? Why? You can’t charge me that much!”

Me: “Well, you wanted the price to be just as it’s written, even though there is no dollar sign and it’s not on our normal price sticker. I need to point out that there is also no decimal point between the 3 and the 8.”

(The customer paid the $20.)

A Sizeable Gap In Knowledge

| UK | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Food & Drink

Me: “Hi. How can I help?”

Customer: “I’d like a cappuccino, please, to take away.”

Me: “A cappuccino to take away. No problem.”

Customer: “Is that a large or a small?”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “Do I want a large or a small cappuccino?”

Me: “I don’t know…”

Customer: “Look. I just want to know if I want a large or a small!”

Didn’t See The Kicker

| Pensacola, FL, USA | At The Checkout, Money, Wild & Unruly

(My girlfriend is a cashier, and I am a customer in her line. There’s a customer in front of me, giving her a hard time. He writes a check and hands it to her.)

Girlfriend: “I’m sorry, sir, but our system has declined your check.”

Customer: “What? I’m a millionaire! That’s not possible!”

Girlfriend: “Well, actually, I think it’s because the license and check are from different states. It’s to prevent identity theft.”

Customer: “Well, thank you for nothing, worthless b****! I know you did this on purpose!”

Girlfriend: “Sir, I can assure you I didn’t. Now. Do you have another form of payment?”

Customer: “No! You d*** b****! You’re just being totally worthless! Why don’t we take this out to the parking lot?”

Me: “Oh, can I film that?”

Girlfriend: *smiling* “Absolutely.”

Customer: “What the h*** are you talking about?”

Me: “Oh, didn’t you know? She’s a championship kickboxer. I just want to film her kicking your a**.”

(The customer huffs and stomps away.)

Girlfriend: “Aw, why did you scare him off? I was looking forward to that.”

Makes You Want To Hit The Bottle

| CT, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Theme Of The Month

(I am bagging groceries for an elderly woman.)

Customer: “Now, don’t forget to pack those bags light, young man. I can’t carry like I used to.”

Me: “Of course, ma’am. No problem.”

(I have packed all her groceries in plastic bags, handing her each one over the counter.)

Customer: “Young man! This bag is way too heavy! Please repack this.”

(I look inside. There is a single two-liter bottle of soda in there.)

Me: “Um, ma’am, I can’t split a bottle of—”

Customer: “Just do it!”

(I shrug, take the bottle out of the plastic bag, put it in another identical plastic bag, and hand it back to her.)

Customer: “Ah, see? That’s much better. Why couldn’t you do that the first time?”

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