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    Category: At The Checkout

    The customer has seemed normal and maybe even intelligent throughout the shopping purchase. But then they get to the checkout and as soon as human interaction is required it all falls apart. The checkout operators really are our first line of defense against the stupid customer!

    Stupidity Is Its Own Reward, Part 2

    | Jersey City, NJ, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid

    (I’m about to ring a customer up. I’m supposed to ask if they have our rewards card, and if they say no, I offer them to sign up for it, as it’s free of charge and relatively quick to do.)

    Me: “Good evening, ma’am. Do you have a rewards card?”

    Customer: “No. What’s the benefit of it?”

    Me: “The rewards card allows you to get the sale prices of whatever’s on sale for the week, and with certain sale items and over the counter medications. You build up rewards points, which you can use to save money later on.”

    Customer: “Okay. Do I need anything for it?”

    Me: “All we need is some basic info, just for identification purposes. Would you like to sign up? It’s free of charge.”

    Customer: *says nothing, fumbles around her purse*

    Me: “Ma’am? Would you like to sign up for the card?”

    (The customer takes out her credit card and swipes it, paying for the purchase.)

    Me: “Okay.”

    (I hand her the receipt and her bags.)

    Me: “Have a good night.”

    Customer: “So, do I get the rewards now?”

    Me: *screaming internally*

    Related:
    Stupidity Is Its Own Reward

    Customer Service Is Free, Manners Are Priceless

    , | Toronto, ON, Canada | At The Checkout, Awesome Workers, Food & Drink

    (I do coffee machine demos. I’m in sales, not service. I have just come from doing a 12-hour shift before Christmas in an electronics store, where customers were rude and unpleasant, never mind ungrateful for the free coffee. I decide to pick up a burger at a drive-thru on my way home.)

    Fast Food Worker: “Hi, welcome to [fast-food place]. Can I take your order?”

    Me: “Yes, please. May I have [order]? Thanks.”

    Fast Food Worker: “Sure. That’ll be [price].”

    Me: “Thank you very much.”

    (I pull up to the window, pay, and receive my order.)

    Me: “Thank you so much.”

    Fast Food Worker: “So, you do work in customer service?”

    Me: “Yeah, how can you tell?”

    Fast Food Worker: “Only someone dealing with rude people all day says please and thank you as much as you!”

    Price-Rise Of The Machines, Part 2

    | AZ, USA | At The Checkout, Money, Technology

    (A customer is paying for her order at the cash register.)

    Manager: “Will that be debit or credit?”

    Customer: “Debit.”

    Manager: “Would you like to leave a tip?”

    Customer: “HOW DARE YOU! If I wanted to leave a tip, I would have left it on the table. That is so rude of you to ask!”

    Manager: “No, ma’am, that’s not what I mean. The computer is asking if you want to leave a tip.”

    Customer: “Oh, so computers talk now, huh? Just like how the roof talks. And the floors, too. You’re just full of it!”

    Related:
    Price-Rise Of The Machines

    Tivo Side Effects

    , , | UK | At The Checkout, Food & Drink, Technology, Top

    Me: “Welcome to [restaurant]; can I take your order please?”

    (The customer asks for an item from the promotion that finished last week.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir; that promotion has finished.”

    Customer: “I want a [finished promotion item], like on the TV.”

    Me: “We do not have that item anymore I’m afraid.”

    (The customer once again demands the item, saying it slowly and separates the words like I don’t understand what he has asked for. Again, I tell him that the item is no longer on the menu, and he proceeds to ask me for it another three times.)

    Me: “Sir, the burger you’re requesting is no longer available. We now have [new promotional item] instead. Would you like one of those?”

    Customer: “No! Listen to me woman: I want a [ended promotion item]! If you can’t do your job, get someone who can on the line! Stupid f****** b****!”

    (My manager has walked in to see what the hold up is. He is also wearing a headset, and has heard everything. He waves his hand at me to turn my microphone off, and he takes over.)

    Manager: “Sir, the item you are requesting is no longer available; instead, we have [new promo item].”

    Customer: “Why is this so hard to f*****g understand!? I want a [ended promo item]! I want it as a large meal with a chocolate milkshake!”

    Manager: “That item is no longer available.”

    Customer: “Then why are you still f****** advertising it on the TV!?”

    Manager: “We’re not, sir.”

    (The customer huffs loudly after shouting several curse words at my manager, speeding past the drive thru window with his middle finger up. I’m shaking from stress, and on the verge of tears. I don’t deal with immense pressure very well, so my manager lets me go on a break. I return to the window after my break. After a few cars, the same customer from before drives up again. Reluctant to deal with him, I call over my manager, who takes the microphone.)

    Manager: “Welcome to [store name].”

    (The customer looks very shaken on the camera.)

    Customer: “Ey er… is that girl I was talking to still there?”

    Manager: “Yes she is here next to me; why do you ask?”

    Customer: “Can you put her on the microphone, please?”

    (My manager looks at me, and I nod a little, activating my microphone.)

    Me: “Yes, what would you like, sir?”

    Customer: “Listen, I’m so sorry about earlier. It turns out I was watching a pre-recorded TV show. Can I have [order], and add a large meal on top for yourself and your boss; I’ll pay for it!”

    Grill The Sandwiches, Not The Staff

    | Boise, ID, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Food & Drink

    (My boyfriend and I are getting lunch from the deli. Standing next to me is a customer, ordering a sandwich from a different worker.)

    Customer: “Do you speak English? How many times do I have to tell you? No cheese!”

    Deli Worker: “Alright, ma’am.”

    Customer: “Why is this taking so long? Hurry up!”

    Deli Worker: “I’ll have your order done shortly.”

    (The bread on the sandwich breaks, and the employee looks panicked.)

    Deli Worker: “Would you like me to remake your sandwich?”

    Customer: “Just put the d*** thing in a bag so I can go!”

    Deli Worker: “Are you sure?”

    (The customer turns to me.)

    Customer: “Does anyone speak English in this place?!”

    Me: “There is no reason to be so rude.”

    Customer: “But he asked me if I wanted cheese! I wrote down ‘no cheese’ and he still asked me!”

    Me: “So what? Ma’am, he is trying his best, and being patient with you. You need to calm down.”

    Customer: “This is ridiculous! What is wrong with you people?”

    (I reach up to gather my order, which is now ready.)

    Customer: “D*** it, look at me when I’m talking to you!”

    Me: “No, thank you.”

    (I give the employees a huge grin.)

    Me: “Thank you so much! Have a wonderful day, guys!”

    Customer: “Why doesn’t anyone speak English?!”

    (Both deli workers give me an appreciative smile. The one that made my food runs over to the register and puts a sticker on my plate; my lunch is free!)

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