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  • Had It Up To Their Neck With Bad Customers
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    Category: At The Checkout

    The customer has seemed normal and maybe even intelligent throughout the shopping purchase. But then they get to the checkout and as soon as human interaction is required it all falls apart. The checkout operators really are our first line of defense against the stupid customer!

    Put Your Money Where Your Obnoxious Mouth Is

    | ON, Canada | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Money

    (I get in line to purchase some iTunes cards. In front of me is a customer in his late 50s telling his life story to an annoyed looking cashier; he’s bragging about his business and complaining about cellphones.)

    Customer: *to cashier* “…and I run a business, not a charity, right!?”

    Cashier: “Yes, sir. That’ll be—”

    Customer: *spots me and my iTunes cards* “Wow, you sure have a handful of cards! What are they?”

    Me: “iTunes cards, sir.”

    Customer: “What are they for?”

    Me: “To buy music and things for my iPad.”

    Customer: “iPad?”

    Me: “Uh, yes, sir. It’s a kind of—”

    Customer: “I know what an iPad is! I have one! You can’t listen to music on an iPad, now can you! That’s an iPod!”

    Me: “Actually, sir, there is a place where you can download the music, and an icon to click on where they are stored.”

    (The customer goes back to talking about how his business is not a charity while the cashier tries to hurry him up.)

    Cashier: “That’ll be $5.02.”

    Customer: *takes $5 bill out of his wallet* “Oh, looks like I’ll need to bum some pennies off of someone, don’t wanna run back out to the truck.” *he turns to me* “Do you have some pennies?”

    Me: “Yes, sir, but were you not just saying that you weren’t a charity? Nor am I.” *hands pennies to cashier*

    (The customer doesn’t thank me and leaves.)

    Cashier: “I f***ing hate that guy!”

    Me: “Oh?”

    Cashier: “He always acts like a superior a** and always bums money off people. And I know that family; he is absolutely loaded!”

    Me: “I guess that’s how he stays that way.”

    Clear This Customer From Memory

    | MI, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid

    (I am a cashier at a grocery store. When a customer is making a purchase over $25 with a credit card, it is required that they sign for the transaction.)

    Me: “Okay, now the PIN pad is just requesting your signature to finish the transaction.”

    Customer: *after signing* “Should I hit enter or clear?”

    A Wally With The Wallets

    | LA, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid

    (I’m a customer in line at the checkout counter, the third in line behind another customer whose items have already been scanned. This store has a rewards card, meaning you get a discount by using it and if not you pay full price. The woman doesn’t have the card with her.)

    Customer: “I am not about to spend full price when you know I have a card with you! Look it up in the computer.”

    Cashier: “Ma’am, I can’t. The cards are free and aren’t name-assigned.”

    Customer: “LOOK. IT. UP.”

    (For about five minutes this is the exchange, with the woman clearly convinced their system is more advanced than it really is.)

    Cashier: “Ma’am, please… there’s a line behind you. I have to wait on these people but I’ll be glad to call the manager over and let him talk to you.”

    Customer: “Well, fine… take the man right here and then we’ll continue talking.”

    (Much to our relief, the manager finally arrives.)

    Manager: “So, what seems to be the problem?”

    Customer: “I don’t have my card with me and this dumb b**** of a cashier won’t look me up in the system.”

    Manager: “You didn’t fill out any paperwork or give a name or email address when you got that card, did you?”

    Customer: “No.”

    Manager: “Then how are we supposed to look it up in the system? There’s no information attached to your card.”

    Customer: “Well, I shouldn’t be expected to carry my wallet everywhere I go just to wave these stupid cards around! ”

    Manager:” Ma’am… isn’t that your wallet in your hand?”

    Customer: “Yes, but this is my wallet that holds my money and my credit cards! I don’t carry all that other s*** in this one!”

    An Honor To Serve

    | Concord, NH, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Money, Themed Giveaway, Top

    (I’m ringing up an older man who is buying a few things, bringing his total to about $12.)

    Customer #1: “That doesn’t seem right. I thought the fish food was cheaper.”

    (Before I can say anything, he rushes off to that aisle, leaving Customer #2, a young serviceman, waiting.)

    Customer #2: “I’ve got this.”

    (Surprisingly, Customer #2 pulls out his credit card and proceeds to pay for the whole order. As the receipt comes out, the first customer returns.)

    Customer #1: “It was the right price, sorry.”

    Customer #2: *hands him his receipt* “You’re all set.”

    (The first customer takes in what has happened and tries to hand the young serviceman the money he would’ve paid with.)

    Customer #1: “Here, you deserve it!”

    Customer #2: “I don’t deserve anything, sir. Have a good night.”

    (Customer #1 walks out, thanking Customer #2. Customer #2 pays for his item and also leaves. That has never happened in my line before. Bless you young serviceman; you make this job great!)

    Miss Management (Not Mrs)

    | AZ, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Liars & Scammers, Money, Top

    (A couple comes up to my checkout with a large amount of sporting goods.)

    Me: “Wow, looks like someone’s getting all their holiday shopping taken care of. Your total is [over $200].”

    Customer: “Ugh, no it isn’t. My husband here is a manager with your company, so we get the employee discount.”

    Me: “Okay…” *leans over to the paging system* “…manager to register two, please.”

    Customer: *surprised* “Why did you just call a manager?”

    Me: “Because you said you and your husband were getting the employee discount.”

    Customer: “Oh, what, and you don’t believe me? You think my husband can’t be a manager because we’re [race], is that it?!”

    Me: “Huh? What are you talking about?”

    Customer: “I’m talking about you calling the manager on us because you’re a f***ing racist. I’ll have you know we drive a BMW and have a lot more money than anyone here, especially a minimum wage nobody like you!”

    (She goes on verbally attacking me, insulting my appearance and just sounding generally crazy. Her husband is quietly standing behind her looking very nervous, but puts a restraining hand on her when she threatens to come behind the counter and teach me a lesson. At some point, the manager I paged approaches the counter.)

    Manager: “Hey, how come you called?”

    Customer: “Are you the manager? I have a complaint! Your employee here is a racist and should be fired for discrimination!”

    Manager: “What happened?”

    Customer: “Little-Miss-Hair-In-Her-Face over here called a manager when I told her my husband was getting the employee discount. We shop here all the time and we’ve never been treated with such disrespect.”

    Manager: “Okay. Well, we can give you a discount once we get this cleared up.”

    Customer: *shoots a smug nasty look at me*

    Manager: “So, since you shop here all the time and work for our company, of course you know that in order to get checked out with an employee discount a store manager has to enter his number and authorization code. Now, I just need his employee number and you’re set.”

    Customer: “…What?”

    Manager: “The employee identification number, we all have one in our system. He does have one, right?”

    Customer: “When I said he worked here, I was just kidding. But she called a manager because she’s a racist!”

    Manager: “No, you weren’t kidding, you were trying to scam her. She called me because she was following the procedure to prevent people like you from getting away with it. I’m voiding your transaction. Please leave.”

    Customer: “Oh, yeah? We’ll go to the news! Once everyone hears how racist this place is your store will be shut down!”

    (The customer’s husband, who has been frozen in silence up until this point, suddenly speaks up.)

    Husband: “No, you absolutely will not. You’ve already embarrassed us enough and dragged me into your bull****, don’t even think about dragging me onto TV! I like this store, now how am I supposed to show my face here? It’s bad enough to have a crazy, meana** girlfriend who lies like she breathes, but every time I take you out I’m lucky if the cops don’t get called. Now get in my crappy Volvo everyone can see from the window. I’m taking you home!”

    (Just as the customer’s ‘husband’ said, he was not only not an employee, but he wasn’t even married to her. He came back to the store a few days later and apologized for her behavior, and told us he had dumped her that evening. Because he was so nice about it, my manager told him he wasn’t banned, and when the guy tried to purchase some of the items he’d been trying to pick up the last time my manager gave him a small discount.)


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