Category: At The Checkout

The customer has seemed normal and maybe even intelligent throughout the shopping purchase. But then they get to the checkout and as soon as human interaction is required it all falls apart. The checkout operators really are our first line of defense against the stupid customer!

If You Behave Like Children…

| TX, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Family & Kids

(I have just finished a long and difficult transaction. I have been calmly trying to guide the customer through the transaction, but the customer has become increasingly frustrated and angry. The angry customer has just had a temper tantrum and stomped off, and I start to help the next customer.)

Next Customer: “Wow, some people get so angry about really little things. How did you stay so calm all that time?”

Me: “I have kids.”

Refunder Blunder, Part 4

| Gaithersburg, MD, USA | At The Checkout, Theme Of The Month

(I’m a part-time manager at a popular arts and crafts store. One of my cashiers has just called me on the radio to ask me to do a return for him. I am confused, but go up to find a customer we had dealt with two nights prior who had a bunch of returns and only had receipts for half of them. She has the receipt for a candle and a vase this time, but not for the other nine vases.)

Customer: “I have a return card from before. You can just put the store credit from the ones without the receipt on there.”

Me: “It doesn’t always work, but I can sure try. Let me just get these all scanned in.”

(I put in her driver’s license number as I would for any return without a receipt and the system declines the return. This happens sometimes as a measure to prevent fraud if a customer is found to be doing a lot of high-dollar value of returns with no receipt.)

Me: “I’m sorry, but I can’t process this return. There’s a number on that slip there that you can call for more information.”

Customer: “What? So, you won’t give me back my money?”

Me: “No, sorry. It doesn’t give the exact reasons, but you can call that number for more information as to why the return was declined. I can’t bend the rules here.”

Customer: “That’s illegal. Where does it say that you can refuse to do a return? I want to speak to your supervisor!”

Me: “Well, I’m not sure, but I’ll go look in our database to find you some proof.”

(I go to the office and print out the policy for returns, cut out the simple return policy, and highlight the first line which states ‘[Store Chain] reserves the right to refuse any return regardless of receipt,’ which I then give to the customer.)

Me: “There you go. As you can see, the first line clearly says we can refuse to refund you.”

Customer: “This is ridiculous! [Store Name] is really willing to lose business over $18? That’s a stupid policy. Other stores let you return anything no matter what.”

Me: “Yes, well, they’re owned by different people and they probably work with different credit companies.”

Customer: “They’re your competition and they’ve been around for a long time. Do you really want to go to small claims court over $18, because I will call my lawyer. You need to get a job at a store with more class.”

Me: “Our store has actually been around for forty years. What I NEED, ma’am, is to finish my degree and start teaching. That was rather personal.”

Customer: “You wanna be a teacher? Well, I’m a teacher. I’m an English teacher, and I write a lot. I write a lot of letters and this will be out there.”

Me: “All right, ma’am. You can certainly call our corporate number to lodge any complaints. Have a nice night.”

Related:
Refunder Blunder, Part 3
Refunder Blunder, Part 2
Refunder Blunder

This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 29

| Tokyo, Japan | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Money

Me: “That will be ¥1260.”

Customer: *gives a ¥1000 bill*

Me: “And ¥260 yen more.”

Customer: “I have only a ¥1000.”

Me: “Okay. Since you’re short ¥260, shall we put some items away?”

Customer: “Why?”

Related:
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 28
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 27
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 26
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 25

The Sweet Taste Of Karma

| Canada | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Crazy Requests

(I work in a busy chocolate store. One of our more popular items is a mint chocolate bar. They sell really quickly and we often run out of them within two days of the delivery. A customer wants to buy six of them, but we are out.)

Customer: *staring at me and my coworker in utter disbelief* “What do you mean you’re all out?”

Me: “We don’t have any left. I just sold the last few about 10 minutes ago. They’re really popular and—”

Customer: “I DON’T CARE WHAT THEY ARE. I KNOW YOU HAVE THEM! GIVE THEM TO ME! AND I EXPECT THEM FOR FREE FROM ALL THE STRESS YOU’RE CAUSING ME!”

Coworker: “Ma’am, we’re really sorry. We don’t have any left, and if we don’t have any left, that means we don’t have any to give to you. You’ll have to come back another time.”

Customer: “I’M NOT GOING TO COME BACK ANOTHER TIME! YOU TWO USELESS LITTLE SCABS ARE LYING TO ME! YOU’RE HIDING THEM FOR YOUR FAT SELVES! I DEMAND ALL YOUR MINT BARS RIGHT THIS INSTANT! HOW DARE YOU TELL ME YOU DON’T HAVE ANY LEFT! I’M GOING TO GET YOU FIRED FOR THIS.”

(At this point, a little old lady has wandered in, looking disgruntled.)

Old Lady: *taps the screaming customer on the shoulder* “They said they’re out. That means they can’t give you any. What do you want them to do? S*** them out? Because you deserve that instead of the bar!”

(The screaming customer stormed off and we haven’t seen her since!)

No Plaice For A Jedi

| Seattle, WA, USA | At The Checkout, Food & Drink, Geeks Rule, Movies & TV

(I have just placed an order at a fish ‘n’ chips restaurant.)

Cashier: “Okay, here’s your receipt, sir. Your order number is 66.”

Me: “Huh. How many Order 66’s do you get through every day?”

Cashier: “Two, sometimes three.”

Me: “Wow, all those poor Jedi…”

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