Category: At The Checkout

The customer has seemed normal and maybe even intelligent throughout the shopping purchase. But then they get to the checkout and as soon as human interaction is required it all falls apart. The checkout operators really are our first line of defense against the stupid customer!

Paying The Price Of Stupidity

| Australia | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Money, Theme Of The Month, Top

Customer: “What is the price of this?”

Me: *looking at price sticker* “It’s $20.”

Customer: “I thought things here were discounted?”

Me: “They are.” *I point to the price tag* “The original price was $100.”

(The customer points to the sticker with item’s model number printed on it.)

Customer: “That’s the price there.”

Me: “No. That’s the model number.”

Customer: “That’s the price, $3.85.”

Me: “No. There is no dollar sign in front of the number. It’s not the price, it’s the model number.”

Customer: “It’s clearly printed and it’s the price. You have to give it to me at that price, just as it’s written.”

Me: “Okay. You’ve got me. That’ll be $385, please.”

Customer: “What? Why? You can’t charge me that much!”

Me: “Well, you wanted the price to be just as it’s written, even though there is no dollar sign and it’s not on our normal price sticker. I need to point out that there is also no decimal point between the 3 and the 8.”

(The customer paid the $20.)

A Sizeable Gap In Knowledge

| UK | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Food & Drink

Me: “Hi. How can I help?”

Customer: “I’d like a cappuccino, please, to take away.”

Me: “A cappuccino to take away. No problem.”

Customer: “Is that a large or a small?”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “Do I want a large or a small cappuccino?”

Me: “I don’t know…”

Customer: “Look. I just want to know if I want a large or a small!”

Didn’t See The Kicker

| Pensacola, FL, USA | At The Checkout, Money, Wild & Unruly

(My girlfriend is a cashier, and I am a customer in her line. There’s a customer in front of me, giving her a hard time. He writes a check and hands it to her.)

Girlfriend: “I’m sorry, sir, but our system has declined your check.”

Customer: “What? I’m a millionaire! That’s not possible!”

Girlfriend: “Well, actually, I think it’s because the license and check are from different states. It’s to prevent identity theft.”

Customer: “Well, thank you for nothing, worthless b****! I know you did this on purpose!”

Girlfriend: “Sir, I can assure you I didn’t. Now. Do you have another form of payment?”

Customer: “No! You d*** b****! You’re just being totally worthless! Why don’t we take this out to the parking lot?”

Me: “Oh, can I film that?”

Girlfriend: *smiling* “Absolutely.”

Customer: “What the h*** are you talking about?”

Me: “Oh, didn’t you know? She’s a championship kickboxer. I just want to film her kicking your a**.”

(The customer huffs and stomps away.)

Girlfriend: “Aw, why did you scare him off? I was looking forward to that.”

Makes You Want To Hit The Bottle

| CT, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Theme Of The Month

(I am bagging groceries for an elderly woman.)

Customer: “Now, don’t forget to pack those bags light, young man. I can’t carry like I used to.”

Me: “Of course, ma’am. No problem.”

(I have packed all her groceries in plastic bags, handing her each one over the counter.)

Customer: “Young man! This bag is way too heavy! Please repack this.”

(I look inside. There is a single two-liter bottle of soda in there.)

Me: “Um, ma’am, I can’t split a bottle of—”

Customer: “Just do it!”

(I shrug, take the bottle out of the plastic bag, put it in another identical plastic bag, and hand it back to her.)

Customer: “Ah, see? That’s much better. Why couldn’t you do that the first time?”

A Bad Hair Day

| FL, USA | At The Checkout, Bigotry, Family & Kids, Health & Body, Top

(It is Christmas Eve. I have just finished a very difficult 13-hour shift, with a 2-hour commute to the small town I live just outside of. I am picking up milk. My hair is cropped short, and though I am very skinny, my uniform is shapeless except for the back brace I am wearing. As I get in line, a very drunk customer behind me turns to another customer.)

Drunk Customer: “Can you believe this [lesbian slur]? Look at her! She can at least clean herself up before coming into our town! What a fat useless c***! She’s wearing a d*** girdle! Ha! That fat will melt right off when she goes to Hell!”

(The drunk customer continues berating the way I look, and throwing insults over his shoulder. Finally I have had enough. I set my milk on the conveyor belt and spin around to face the man.)

Me: “Let’s get a few things straight! First, this is a back brace, not a girdle! I wear it because I was born with a deformed pelvis and spine, and I can very easily paralyze myself with improper body mechanics. Secondly, I have been with my MALE fiancé for five years. But at least you are right about one thing. I would look a h*** of a lot better with my hair long. I used to have long, beautiful, full curls. So beautiful, in fact, my six-year-old niece would cry every time I visited her because she lost all of her hair when she started chemo for her leukemia. So for Christmas, I cut off all of my long feminine curls and have had them made into a wig so she doesn’t have to feel ugly when she goes to school. I just thank God she lives two towns over, because after what you’ve said about me, I can’t imagine what you and the rest of the people here like you would say to a sad, sick little girl!”

(The next time I went back to pick up a few things, the manager approached me. It turned out the entire staff had donated to my niece’s cancer treatment!)

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