Category: At The Checkout

The customer has seemed normal and maybe even intelligent throughout the shopping purchase. But then they get to the checkout and as soon as human interaction is required it all falls apart. The checkout operators really are our first line of defense against the stupid customer!

Give It More Than Half A Thought

| Aberystwyth, Wales, UK | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Math & Science

(I work in a small corner shop in my university town. I was serving behind the till when a man came up with bin bags, that I wasn’t aware were on a special offer until I scanned them through the till. The following conversation took place when I realised this.)

Me: “Oh, sir, these bin bags are two for £1.20. Would you like to take another?’

Customer: “No. You see, I need double strength bags for heavy duty waste, so I only buy ten, because if I bought twenty they’d only be half strength.”

Judged Unworthy To Judge

| NH, USA | At The Checkout, Holidays, Religion

(I am wearing rabbit ears the week before the Easter holiday while I ring groceries.)

Customer: “And do you go to church on Easter?”

Me: “No, I celebrate with baskets, candy, and a nice family meal.”

Customer: “I don’t think Jesus would approve of that.”

Me: “Luckily for me, Jesus wasn’t exactly known to judge people.”

(That shut him up!)

Upgraded Complaints

, | MT, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Family & Kids, Food & Drink

(I used to work at the local big-name ice cream and burger restaurant eight years ago. The night shift lead is the owner’s son that was just a little runt when I worked there. On this trip through the drive thru I order a small ice cream cone for me and a blended drink for my husband. We get the drink, but while the cashier is taking another order he opens the window:)

Shift Lead: “So, she accidentally made a large cone instead of a small one. Is that still okay?”

Me: *I raise an eyebrow and scoff dramatically* “No! It. Is. Not. Okay! You are giving me more for my money and it’s just unacceptable!”

Shift Lead: *grinning and handing me the cone* “Gosh darn us for giving you a free upgrade, right?”

Me: “Gripe, gripe, gripe. Obligatory threat to complain to your father, young man!”

Shift Lead: *laughing* “Yeah, you have a good night, too!”

Guessing Abhors A Vacuum

| Aarhus, Denmark | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Math & Science

(I’m working the register and we just got some new fruit that isn’t written on the paper so I call my coworker over to help find the number.)

Me: “Sorry, sir, it’s just going to be a minute. I need my coworker to find the number for these fruits as I don’t have it yet.”

Customer: “Can’t you just guess?”

Me: “I really don’t think that will work”

Customer: “Come on, just try.”

Me: “Oh, hey, it did work!”

(Customer looks pleased and gets ready to pay.)

Me: “Guess you just bought a vacuum cleaner for 249.99.”

Customer: Oh…”

I’ll Have My Usual Irregular

| Columbus, OH, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(I am another customer in this story standing at the drink counter stirring my coffee when two drinks come ready at the same time. Despite the drinks being different sizes, very different contents, and called out with both to a shop quiet enough to be heard easily, both customers reach for the same drink.)

Customer #1: “Yours is the grande.”

Customer #2: “Are you sure?”

Customer #1: “Yeah, I had a tall.”

Customer #2: “I guess I forgot what my regular is.”

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