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  • September Theme Of The Month: Overheard!

    Category: At The Checkout

    The customer has seemed normal and maybe even intelligent throughout the shopping purchase. But then they get to the checkout and as soon as human interaction is required it all falls apart. The checkout operators really are our first line of defense against the stupid customer!

    New Sales Announced On Wikileaks

    | Norway | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Awesome Workers

    (A customer is looking at a particular item, and wants to know the price.)

    Me: “That’s 99 kroner.”

    Customer: “Oh, that’s a bit pricey I think..”

    Me: “It’s a secret but I’ll tell you. This item is coming on half price on Monday, you could come back and make a good deal on it.”

    (The customer starts looking around and acting like I just told her a national secret wondering if anybody else heard it.)

    Customer: “Okay, thank you! WHOOPS!” *whispers* “T-thank you!”

    (She ran out before I could say anything else.)

    Give Me A Low Five

    | Canada | At The Checkout, Liars & Scammers, Money

    (A woman and her daughter at my checkout are very pleasant right up until I read her total.)

    Me: “All right, your total is $17.93.”

    Mother: “Oh, yes, not a problem.”

    (She puts a 5$ bill on the counter and we keep chatting. I put the bill under my printer to hold onto it thinking she is getting more. Finally I ask—)

    Me: “Ma’am, I still need $12.93.”

    Mother: “I gave you a twenty though! You said the bill was 17.93.”

    Me: “That is the total, but you only gave me a five—”

    Mother: “No, I gave you a f****** twenty. I know I did! Don’t you lie now!”

    Me: “Ma’am, all you gave me was a five. I put it right here.”

    (I grab the bill and slid it back onto the counter, thinking maybe she just thought she grabbed a twenty. I was shocked considering her daughter looked to be no older than eleven and she is swearing.)

    Mother: “Well, look harder. You must have dropped it, you f****** dumb b****!”

    (Appalled and getting panicked that I might have made a mistake, I look on the floor around me but I can not find a twenty anywhere.)

    Me: “Ma’am, all you gave me was a five. I’m sorry but I don’t see it.”

    Mother: “Well, then, you must have pocketed it! Pull out your pockets!”

    (I do so and I look more and more worried. This is only my second week and I don’t know what to do.)

    Daughter: “Mom, you only put a five.”

    Mother: “Shut up, [Daughter]! I know what I did and I know what happened. This b**** distracted us by pretending to be nice!”

    (At this point my manager shows up because I was supposed to go on my break and she finds me near tears, being shouted at by this woman.)

    Manager: “What is the problem, ma’am?”

    Mother: “This f***-tard of woman you hired took my money and then lied! She stole right from me! I demand her fired!”

    Daughter: “Mommmmmm! You—”

    Mother: “[Daughter], shut it!”

    Manager: “[My Name], go on break. I’ve got this.”

    (I leave on break pretty much crying now. When I come back my manager is leaning at my cash and decides to share the story:)

    Manager: “Apparently this monster of a mother meticulously keeps track of every penny she spends. Has a little book of what she spent and where and had been doing shopping all day. After being given a calculator she realized she spent more than she thought she had and was short twenty dollars because of her own spending. Get this though: even though her daughter kept insisting she was wrong, she wants us to check the security cameras and call her to make sure you didn’t take anything. If she comes in again let me know and I will serve her. She pulls this stunt again and she’s banned.”

    (Turned out, a week later she came back and tried it again – this time without her daughter!)

    Makes You Very GLAD(os)

    | HI, USA | At The Checkout, Food & Drink, Geeks Rule

    (I work for a local supermarket chain. We give out reward coupons after customers spend a certain amount that you can use for a number of things. One of these is a special item that changes each week. I notice my next customer is wearing a Portal shirt.)

    Me: “Welcome to the Aperture Science [Store] Register. If you successfully finish this transaction and have a reward, there will be cake.”

    Customer: *laughs* “The cake is a lie!”

    Me: “Not so, sir.” *points to flier* “The reward this week is free cheesecake.”

    Customer: *stares* “Seriously?”

    Me: “Yup.”

    Customer: “Could I… get one right now?”

    Me: “If you have a reward, certainly.”

    (Customer then proceeded to sprint off to grab a cheesecake and came back exclaiming “The cake’s not a lie!”)

    This Is A Good Sign

    | Utrecht, The Netherlands | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers

    Cashier: “Please note that underwear cannot be returned for hygienic reasons.”

    Me: “I know; there were signs all over the display”

    Cashier: *short silence* “Wow, I think you might be the first customer to ever read those.”

    Makes An Age Of Difference

    | Canada | At The Checkout, Health & Body

    (I’m in my early twenties but I look younger than I am. Many people comment on it, asking if I’m old enough to be a cashier. This happens near the end of my shift one night, close to my twenty-second birthday.)

    Me: “So, your total comes to [total].”

    Customer: *as he’s paying with his card* “You look young, but you have the mannerisms and grace of someone in their twenties and sound older than you look.”

    Me: “Thank you?”

    Customer: “You look young, but you’re probably mid-twenties, maybe 24?”

    (After two years of people saying I look like I’m 12, or that I look too young to work, this is the best thing to hear. I must be grinning like crazy at this.)

    Customer: “Based on your expression, you don’t hear that too often.”

    Me: “You have no idea. I’m close to 22, but your guess is the closest I’ve heard in the two years I’ve been working here.”

    Customer: “Seriously? You have the manner and grace of someone in their early-to-mid twenties!”

    Me: *handing him his receipt* “Thank you for that. Not many people are happy to be asked if they’re older than they are. Have a good night!”

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