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  • A Caffeinated Christmas Miracle
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  • Category: Extra Stupid

    This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

    Should Have Saved The Date In Their Advent Calendar

    | OH, USA | Extra Stupid, Holidays, Theme Of The Month

    Me: “Hi, ma’am. Welcome to [Toy Store]. Can I help you find anything?”

    Customer: “Yeah. Do you guys still sell Advent calendars here?”

    (It’s December 10th, halfway through Advent.)

    Me: “Sorry, ma’am. We’ve been out of Advent calendars since mid-November. We didn’t even have any for Black Friday, unfortunately.”

    Customer: “So you don’t have any?”

    Me: “No. But we do them every year, so there’s already next year.”

    Customer: “Ah, shoot. I was really looking forward to getting one for the kids.”

    Me: “Yeah. With something like that I always recommend getting them as early as possible. Definitely before December.”

    Customer: “When is the next time you’ll be getting them in?”

    Me: “Next September.”

    An Upside Downside To Christmas

    | Brisbane, QLD, Australia | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Holidays, Theme Of The Month

    (We sell Christmas-themed doughnuts. One looks like a Christmas tree, with a chocolate wafer stick as the trunk. On the display tray the trunk normally points towards the customer. I’ve just served someone who ordered one and changed their mind. I’ve hurriedly put it back, but the trunk is facing the wrong way, towards me.)

    Customer: “I want a tree, but do you have any that aren’t upside down?”

    Doesn’t Have A Glue

    | ON, Canada | Bizarre, Extra Stupid

    (We have bottles of hand sanitizer at the pick-up and drop off counters for customers to use if they please.)

    Me: “Hi. Can I help you?”

    Customer: “WHAT DID I JUST PUT ON MY HANDS?”

    Me: “Er, what?”

    Customer: *waving hands frantically* “What’s in that bottle? It’s not glue is it? My hands aren’t going to stick to my cart when I touch it?”

    Me: “No, ma’am. It’s just hand sanitizer.”

    Customer: “Oh, okay. Thanks! Have a good day!”

    (The customer leaves without getting anything from the dispensary.)

    Me: *to coworker* “Why the h*** would we have glue in squirt bottles?”

    Should Take A Brake From Driving

    | Kennewick, WA, USA | Extra Stupid, Family & Kids, Health & Body

    (Whenever we have a child that seems to be too short to ride the go-karts, we tell the parents we need to size them on one of the karts. Doing so with her mother watching over my shoulder, this little girl is barely too short to press the brake pedal hard enough.)

    Me: “I’m sorry. She’s not quite tall enough. She can reach the gas, but can’t press the brakes hard enough.”

    Mother: “So…?”

    Me: “I can’t let her ride.”

    Mother: “But she can press the pedals. Yes?”

    Me: “Yes, but she can’t press the brake pedal hard enough to engage it. It takes a bit of pressure.”

    Mother: “So why can’t she go? If she can press the pedals, then she can make the kart go.”

    Me: “Yes… but she couldn’t get the brakes to work.”

    Mother: “But she can go! So what if she doesn’t press the brakes enough?”

    Me: “…she won’t be able to slow or stop without them.”

    Mother: “Oh! That’s what that does?”

    Extra Small Minded

    | Calgary, AB, Canada | Bigotry, Extra Stupid

    (I work for a very well-known clothing store that caters to plus sized women. The smallest size is 14W. A very skinny woman walks into the store.)

    Me: “Hi, there! How can I help you today? Are you shopping for a gift?”

    Customer: “No. I am shopping for myself today.”

    Me: “Alright. Just so you know, we are a size 14+ store. We do have some nice accessories. May I help you find anything?”

    Customer: “No. I just want to look around.”

    (The customer wanders off. I start puttering around, cleaning some things, as we are slow. A few minutes later I notice her holding a top and wandering around looking a bit confused.)

    Me: “Hey. Is there anything I can help you find?”

    Customer: “Where are your smaller sizes?”

    Me: “I’m sorry. As I mentioned earlier the smallest size we carry is 14 wide, or extra large.”

    Customer: “But where are the SMALLER sizes?”

    Me: “Again, I’m sorry. We do not carry small sizes.”

    Customer: “Yes, yes. But where do you keep the smaller sizes?”

    Me: “Miss, I’m sorry. I don’t know how else to explain this to you. [Store] is plus-sized retail chain. We make clothes for women who look like me.”

    (I gesture to my size 24 figure. All of a sudden a look of realization comes into the woman’s eyes. She looks around as if seeing the other employees, customers, and myself for the first time.)

    Customer: “Wait. This is a store for FATTIES?”

    (The customer drops the shirt she’d been holding as if it’s going to burn her and storms out. I just stand there, totally stunned. A few customers shoot the skinny woman dirty looks.)

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