Featured Story:
  • Always Time For A Rhyme
    (2,148 thumbs up)
  • Category: Extra Stupid

    This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

    Taxing Faxing, Part 11

    | OK, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

    (A customer calls into my place of employment asking a question about her laser printer.)

    Customer: “Hello. I need to know what my fax number is.”

    Me: “Fax numbers are issued by your phone company. You would need to contact them to find out the number.”

    Customer: “What? You mean they don’t come through the air?”

    Me: “No, ma’am. They do not come through the air.”

    Related:
    Taxing Faxing, Part 10
    Taxing Faxing, Part 9
    Taxing Faxing, Part 8
    Taxing Faxing, Part 7
    Taxing Faxing, Part 6
    Taxing Faxing, Part 5
    Taxing Faxing, Part 4
    Taxing Faxing, Part 3
    Taxing Faxing, Part 2
    Taxing Faxing

    The Nation’s Reading Is A Blockbuster Problem

    | Tampa, FL, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Movies & TV, Theme Of The Month

    (I am working the register at our store and getting ready to ring up a customer’s rentals. When I pull up her account I notice she has some late fees from her previous rentals.)

    Me: “Okay, ma’am. It looks like you have a balance of $8.54 from your previous rentals that we need to take care of.”

    Customer: “That’s not possible. I brought ALL of my movies back on time!”

    Me: “All right. Give me a moment to look at you account history to see what happened.”

    (This takes just a couple of seconds, but the customer has already started to complain about me wasting her time.)

    Me: “Okay, ma’am. I’ve found the problem. You checked out three movies that had a five-day term, and two new releases that were one-day rentals. You kept the one-day rentals out an extra day which is where the late fee came from.”

    Customer: “Well, somebody should have explained that to me when I rented them! How was I supposed to know they were one-day rentals?!”

    Me: “While I concede that it is possible that one our staff forgot to mention it to you, ma’am, the rental terms are clearly marked on the price sticker on the movie, on the receipt, and on signs everywhere throughout the store.”

    Customer: “You actually expect your customers to read!? No wonder you’ve had to close so many stores!”

    Enough To Split Your Sides

    | WA, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (A waitress is taking my father-in-law’s order, which comes with a choice of side dish.)

    Waitress: “And what would you like, sir?”

    Father-In-Law: “Filet mignon, please.”

    Waitress: “And how would you like that cooked?”

    Father-In-Law: “Medium, please.”

    Waitress: “And which side?”

    Father-In-Law: “Both.”

    Doesn’t Even Know Where To Start(er)

    | OH, USA | Extra Stupid, History, Top, Transportation

    (I work at an auto parts store in a small town in the Appalachian foothills. I am talking to an elderly customer.)

    Customer: “I need a starter for my 1990 Plymouth Acclaim.”

    Me: “Alright. There were two different starters used on that car. One was made by Bosch, and the other was made by Mitsubishi. Do you know which one your car has?”

    Customer: “No. I don’t. I’ll have to find out.”

    Me: “Well, it’s okay. They will both work interchangeably. Just be aware that they do look completely different from each other, The one I sell you might look different, but it will still fit and work fine. It looks like the Mitsubishi starter is less expensive, so I’ll grab that one for you. Okay?”

    Customer: “Now hold on a second. I don’t want no Mitsubishi anything! Don’t you know? Japan was against us in World War II!”

    Me: “Alright, sir. I’ll get you the German-made Bosch starter.”

    Customer: “Now, that’s better!”

    Christmas Day Meets Groundhog Day

    | St. Catharines, ON, Canada | Extra Stupid, Holidays, Money, Theme Of The Month

    (It is a very busy Sunday afternoon in the store. One of our staff is late due to bad weather and a dead car battery, so we are all rushed off our feet. I take a call.)

    Me: “[Store Name]. This is [My Name]. How can I help you?”

    Caller: “Yes. Hi. Do you have any sales going on with your Christmas dresses?”

    Me: “I’m afraid not, ma’am. There are no dresses on sale at the moment.”

    Caller: “How much are the dresses you have?”

    Me: “They range from $30 to $50, depending on the dress. But, we might be having a 40 percent off sale later this week. If you’d like to, call back then and check the dresses at that point.”

    Caller: “So, what sale do you have for your dresses right now? I want one just above the knee.”

    Me: “Well, most of our dresses fall just above the knee, ma’am. Like I said, we have no dresses on sale today, but we might have them on sale later this week.”

    Caller: “I’m going to a holiday party, you see, and I need a dress that falls above the knee.”

    Me: “Yes, ma’am. I understand. If you check back in a few days you might be able to get a dress for 40 percent off.”

    Caller: *finally clues in* “40 percent off you say? So what price would the dresses be then?”

    Me: “It would depend on the dress, ma’am. As I said, they range from $30 to $50.”

    Caller: “Oh, so how much would the $50 dollar dress be? I’m going to a holiday party and need a dress above the knee. You don’t have any dresses on sale today? Do you?”

    Me: *facepalm*

    Page 96/228First...9495969798...Last