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    Category: Extra Stupid

    This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

    Put Them In The Hot Seat

    | AL, USA | Extra Stupid, Top, Tourists/Travel, Transportation

    (I always like to follow up after a trip I have booked for a customer. A couple had booked a plane flight to Florida, a small rental car, and a few nights hotel on the beach.)

    Me: “Hi, Mrs. [Name]. This is [My Name] calling from [Travel Agency]. I just wanted to make sure you had a wonderful time on your trip.”

    Wife: “You’ll have to speak with my husband. I’m too upset to speak with you.”

    Husband: “I can’t believe you have the courage to call, after what you did. I’ve dealt with incompetence before, but you are the worst!”

    Me: “I’m so sorry. What happened?”

    Husband: “When I booked the flight, I told you that I wanted an aisle seat, and my wife preferred a window seat. You had us backwards on all four flights!”

    Me: “I’m so sorry. Why didn’t you just swap seats? Or, say something to a flight attendant, who would have told you to just swap seats?”

    Husband: “…” *click*

    Double Take Required

    | Wausau, WI, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid

    (I’m rather short, 5’3″, a bit heavy, and have short black hair and dark eyes. My coworker is lean, tall, almost 5’10”, and has red hair and hazel eyes. The only similarity we have is that we both wear glasses. Even on this day I was wear a black uniform top and she was wearing a pink one, in honor of Breast Cancer Awareness month. We just switched off so she can go home.  I hop on the register.)

    Customer: *coming up to the checkout* “I couldn’t find it. Are you sure it’s there?”

    Me: “Um, what are you looking for?”

    Customer: *getting angry* “I already told you! Did you really just forget? Honestly!”

    Me: “Ma’am, I just started my shift.”

    Customer: “No! I just talked to you! You told me where I could find this!” *thrusts a small plastic bag with a jewelry finding in it*

    Me: “Oh! Jewelry findings are the first row of jewelry and go straight back to the wall, ma’am.”

    Customer: “That’s not what you said before!”

    Me: “Ma’am, I just got here.”

    Manager: *coming up since she heard the yelling* “Is there a problem?”

    Customer: “This cashier is being rude and is lying to me!”

    Me: “Ma’am, I am sorry my coworker has told you the wrong section, but she was the one that helped you. I just started.”

    Customer: “Right there! Lying!”

    Manager: “Actually, she’s right. She did just clock in.”

    Customer: “Oh… well… You two just look so much alike!” *storms off*

    Manager: “Who did you relieve?”

    Me: “[Coworker].”

    Manager: “YOU TWO LOOK NOTHING ALIKE! AND SHE’S IN PINK!”

    Putting The Pee Into Preparation

    | Sydney, NSW, Australia | Extra Stupid, Health & Body

    (I work in a radiology practice. I have just finished booking an appointment for a patient for the following day and am explaining the preparation procedure for his examination.)

    Me: “One hour prior to your appointment, you will need to drink six glasses of water and hold your bladder.”

    Patient: *nods slowly, but clearly does not understand*

    Me: “Do you understand the preparation, sir?”

    Patient: “Oh, yes. Yes, of course.” *nods vigorously*

    (Unconvinced, I write him an appointment card and explain the procedure again. A short while later, the patient returns.)

    Patient: “I, um, just have one question regarding that preparation.”

    Me: “Yes, drinking the water and holding the bladder.”

    Patient: “Yep. So, where do I get a bladder from? Can you just buy them from the chemist?”

    Me: “Sir, you already have a bladder. It’s a part of your urinary tract system. It’s an organ inside your body.”

    Customer: “Oh, okay! I get you! I get you! So… I don’t need to go to the chemist?”

    Pot Calling The Kettle Black, Slowly

    | CA, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid

    (I’m working the drive-thru. I’ve just finished taking an order that took about a minute and a half to get down as the customer was unsure of what they wanted and ordered some items requiring clarifications. I talk to the next car in the line.)

    Me: “Hi, welcome to—”

    Customer: “I’d just like to say that I waited too d*** long. It’s awful how long I’ve had to wait and I sat there waiting so long and all I want are two ice cream cones!”

    Me: “I’m sorry about that. Your total is [total] at the first window. Please—”

    (The customer drives forward as I’m still talking and ultimately ignores me.)

    Me: *at the window* “Hi, that’ll be [total].”

    Customer: “I didn’t mean to sound rude, but that wait was far too long!”

    Me: “And again, I’m sorry about that, but the wait is also a matter of the customer ahead of you.”

    Customer: “That was still too long! Do you know how much gas I probably wasted just sitting there, waiting? Any other business would be ashamed of making me wait that long!”

    (There is a pause as the customer then digs through her purse for her wallet. After maybe a minute, during which other customers have lined up behind her, waiting to pay:)

    Customer: “What was my total?”

    Their Service’s Days Are Numbered

    | CO, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology, Theme Of The Month

    (The restaurant I work at has a rewards program that is linked to the customer’s phone number. Occasionally, they receive text messages about various promotions.)

    Customer: “I haven’t received any text messages lately for the rewards program. I used to get them all the time.”

    Me: “That’s weird! I wonder what happened? Would you like us to double check that you’re still in the system?”

    Customer: “I guess I should give you my new number.”

    Me: “Sure, no problem.”

    Customer: “It’s just weird. I got the texts just fine on my old number, but then I got a new phone number and now I don’t get any.”

    Me: “Wait. You created a rewards program membership under your old phone number, you didn’t let us know you got a new phone number until now, and you’re upset because you can’t figure out why you weren’t receiving the promos?”

    Customer: “Yeah.”

    Me: ” … I imagine updating your phone number will help.”

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