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    Category: Extra Stupid

    This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

    Math Skills Are In The Lower 25 Per Cent

    , | Seattle, WA, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Math & Science, Money, Top

    (While working at an ice cream store, there is a sale for buy one ice cream, get one for 25 cents. We are jam packed, and I am manning one of the registers.)

    Me: “Thank you for coming to [store], what can I get for you?”

    Customer: “I’d like five large ice creams, please.”

    Me: “Sounds great; your total comes to $14.”

    Customer: “I thought there was a sale for 25 cents?”

    Me: “Yes, it’s buy one, get one for 25 cents.”

    Customer: “So then why am I paying so much?”

    Me: “A regular large is $4.50, so three of those adds up to $13.50, plus two for 25 cents.”

    Customer: “The fifth one is supposed to be 25 cents.”

    Me: “You have to buy one first for it to be 25 cents. Would you like to buy one more blizzard?”

    Customer: “No, I don’t want six ice creams; the last one needs to be 25 cents!”

    Me: “Ma’am, I can’t give you the fifth one for 25 cents; you need to buy another ice cream first.”

    Customer: “GIVE ME THE ICE CREAM FOR 25 CENTS!”

    Me: “Ma’am, I can’t. Its buy one, get one for 25 cents.”

    Customer: “I refuse to speak with you; get me your manager now!”

    Me: “Ma’am, we’re very busy and—”

    Customer: “GET ME YOUR MANAGER!”

    Me: “Ma’am, please we are very busy—”

    Customer: “I refuse to speak with such an idiot.”

    Me: “Let me get her for you…”

    (I pull my manager away from making 15 ice creams. She is very much annoyed that I have to get her.)

    Manager: “What seems to be the problem?”

    Customer: “This imbecile of an employee will not give me my 25 cent ice cream.”

    (The manager looks at my screen, and sees five ice creams.)

    Manager: “You ordered five ice creams, correct?”

    Customer: “Yes, and I want my 25 cent ice cream!”

    Manager: “It’s a buy one, get one for 25 cents. You have five ice creams. Simple math tells us that the fifth is at regular price. So either pay for your f***** ice cream, or the get the h*** out of my store.”

    Customer: “Well EXCUSE ME! I’ll take my ice creams, but I’m never coming back!”

    Manager: “Good, you weren’t going to be allowed back anyway!”

    No Vocation For Location, Part 6

    | Israel | Extra Stupid, Geography, Theme Of The Month, Tourists/Travel

    (I am a South African, working at a hotel restaurant in Israel. The establishment has both servers and guests from all over the world. Generally people are interested in finding out where people are from and why they’re here. One day I am clearing a table for an American couple.)

    Me: “Shalom! I hope you enjoyed your meal. May I take your plates?”

    Husband: “Yes, please. It was great.”

    Wife: “Hey, you sound weird. Where are you from?”

    Me: “I’m from South Africa.”

    Wife: “Really?! South Africa… where is that?”

    Me: “Err…”

    Husband: *embarrassed* “Honey, it’s in Africa. If you look at a map, it’s right down at the bottom.”

    Wife: “Oh…” *blank look* “Oh! Kangaroos, right?”

    Husband: “Err…” *looks at me apologetically*

    Me: *just smiles* “I hope you enjoy the rest of your stay!”

    Related:
    No Vocation For Location, Part 5
    No Vocation For Location, Part 4

    A Very Shallow Pool Of Intelligence

    | AR, USA | Extra Stupid

    (The phone rings.)

    Customer: “I need to get sand for my pool filter.”

    Me: “Okie doke, how much sand do you need?”

    Customer: “I don’t know.”

    Me: “If you look on your filter, it will usually tell you how much it uses.”

    Customer: “I’m looking at it right now. It doesn’t say how much it needs.”

    Me: “Does it say anything on it at all?”

    Customer: “Yes it has a serial number.”

    Me: “What is it?”

    Customer: “300-L-B-S.”

    (I pause.)

    Customer: “Does that help?”

    Me: “I will have your sand ready to pick up in 15 minutes.”

    Food For Thoughtless, Part 2

    | Orlando, FL, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Top

    (I’m waiting for my food at a popular restaurant that calls your order number, and then puts your food up on a counter so you can grab it.)

    Cook: “Order number [X].”

    (I’m walking, up when a customer runs up and grabs at the food.)

    Customer: “What is this? This isn’t what I ordered!”

    (The customer starts taking the sandwich apart.)

    Customer: “I didn’t order this! What’s this?”

    (The customer starts picking parts of the salad out with her fingers.)

    Customer: “I ordered a roast beef and soup!”

    Cook: “Were you order number [X]?”

    Customer: “No. My order number is [Y].”

    Cook: “Then that’s not your food. That belongs to someone else.”

    Customer: “Well you should have said something!”

    (The customer stomps off. I look at my ripped apart sandwich that someone has just been grabbing.)

    Me: “I’m order number [X]. Sorry, I tried to speak up.”

    Cook: “Don’t worry; I’ll remake that for you. You wouldn’t believe how often this happens.”

    Related:
    Food For Thoughtless

    Has No Propensity For History

    | Gettysburg, PA, USA | Extra Stupid, History, Theme Of The Month, Tourists/Travel

    (I’m working behind the register counter that has glass display cases of knives, wallets, etc. Some are engraved with CSA—Confederate States of America, and USA—for the Union.)

    Customer: *running up to the counter* “Oooh! Knives! Wait, what does ‘CSA’ mean?”

    Me: “It stands for ‘Confederate States of America.’ Did you want to have a look?”

    Customer: “No, I don’t want to buy. But, the Confederate states are the North, right?!”

    Me: “No, not at all… ”

    Customer: “Oh, oh well. But you know what’s strange? All these battles happened in national parks!”

    Me: “Uh…”

    Customer: “I guess that just made it easier to hide behind the monuments!”

    Me: “I have to get back to work; have a nice day.”

    (I get back to folding and stocking while the customer walks out with the smuggest look on their face, like they just gave me a history lesson.)

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