Category: Extra Stupid

This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

Will Try To Tag Themselves In Jail

| TX, USA | Criminal/Illegal, Extra Stupid, Technology, Theme Of The Month, Top, Transportation

(I stop a young, 20-something woman for using her cell while driving in an active school zone.)

Me: “I stopped you, ma’am, for using your phone while driving in a school zone, which is against the law.”

Driver: “I am not calling anyone or texting, so I am not using my phone. I was updating my Facebook status!”

(After citing her, we both pull away from the curb. I then witness her using her cell AGAIN, so I stop her once more.)

Me: “Ma’am, I have already explained and cited you for the very same reason I am pulling you over the second time. I do not want to have to arrest you, so please do not use your phone while driving again.”

Driver: “One more time, officer, I am NOT calling or texting! I am uploading a picture of my citation to Pinterest!”

Thoughts Suspended

| CA, USA | Criminal/Illegal, Extra Stupid, Top

(I am in a reserve officer training class at a sheriff’s academy. Enrollment in this class is done through a community college, not the Sheriff’s department. When it is time to do the firearms instruction, you have two choices: you can use your own firearm if it was one of the authorized service pistols, or you can borrow one from the academy. If you borrow one, you need a driver’s license for proof of identity in case something happens to the firearm.)

Student: “Well, I don’t have my license.”

Deputy #1: “Then we can’t loan you the pistol.”

Student: “But I need to do this range stuff to graduate, right?”

Deputy #1: “Yes. That is why we tell people to bring their license if they need to borrow a firearm. We cannot lend you one without it.”

Student: “I can’t bring one in. I don’t have a license right now.”

Deputy #2: “What? I saw you drive up here. What do you mean you don’t have a license now?”

Student: “Well, it was suspended.”

Deputy Sergeant: “Did you just tell us you are driving on a suspended license?”

Student: “Yeah. It sucks.”

(Deputy #1 and #2 share a look.)

Deputy Sergeant: “So which car is yours?”

(The student points it out.)

Deputy Sergeant: “And you drove that here on a suspended license?”

Student: “Yeah. Like I said, it sucks.”

Deputy Sergeant: “Okay, well, let me see what I can do.”

(The deputy sergeant goes to the office, and comes back about 15 minutes later.)

Deputy Sergeant: “When you found out that your license was suspended, did they also inform you that it was for a failure to appear on your drunk driving case and that there was a warrant for your arrest?”

Student: “Uh, let me think… Yeah. There was something like that in the letter.”

Deputy Sergeant: “Well, that warrant is why you are under arrest.”

Student: “What!?”

(The rest of the class was amazed at the idiocy that this guy displayed. His mom came by later to get the car. She was not pleased with her son, and she had no idea he even had a drunk driving incident!)

Calling About His C-Pee-Yew!

| England, UK | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Technology, Theme Of The Month

(I work for an IT company that provides technical support for IT equipment to customers.)

Me: “Welcome to the [Company] support desk. You’re speaking to [My Name]. How can I help?”

Customer: “My toilet is broken.”

Me: “Sorry, can you repeat that? You called an IT support desk about a toilet?”

Customer: “Yes, my toilet is blocked. Can you fix it remotely?”

Me: “Sorry, sir. I am unable to remote on to your toilet to unblock it. You will need to call a plumber if it is that bad or use a plunger.”

Customer: “You are supposed to be a support desk. You are not being helpful. Don’t you worry. I will call back and get another agent to help.” *click*

(The customer did call back. The manager got on the other agent’s phone, and basically laughed down the phone at the customer, asking if he has turned the toilet off and on again, or reinstalled the cistern.)

Separate Yourself From Sense

| Madison, WI, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(I work as a cashier.)

Customer: “Hi. I’d like to do two separate transactions.”

Me: “No problem!”

(The customer divides her groceries into two piles. I finish the first, total it, and she pays. I begin to ring up the second order.)

Customer: “WHAT are you doing?!”

Me: “Uh… I just completed your first order, so now I’m doing your second.”

Customer: “But WHY did you separate them?”

Me: “Because… you told me to?”

(At this point, the customer behind her starts giggling.)

Customer: “… Oh.”

You Can’t Combat Stupidity

| Baltimore, MD, USA | Extra Stupid, School

(I teach a martial art sport. A girl starts in August, completes the beginner test, and graduates up into the competitive group. I advise her and her mother in writing and verbally that the girl must upgrade her national association membership from a learning one to a competitive one in order to continue her training and compete. A few months later, the girl is entering her first official tournament.)

Tournament Manager: “I see that your daughter has a learning membership, not a competitive one. She will need to upgrade her membership before she can compete. I can offer you the use of my computer to do so.”

(While the manager sets up the computer, I walk up to the desk and ask what’s going on. The manager tells me. The mother looks from him to me saying, with a perfectly straight face:)

Mother: “I wasn’t told that I had to do that.”

(I am sure my face twitches a bit when I bite my tongue. I keep quiet and maintain eye contact. The mother squirms a moment then adds:)

Mother: “I mean, you told me to do it, but, you know, you didn’t really tell me to do it.”

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