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    Category: Extra Stupid

    This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

    Floored By The Lack Of Logic

    | Sydney, NSW, Australia | Extra Stupid, Hotels & Lodging

    (I work at a hotel as an event coordinator. The building was not originally a hotel, and a top level had been added on that has an open-air pool and a gym. Due to this, the lifts do not go to it, and everyone has to use stairs placed next to the lift instead. A guest approaches me as I am walking to the foyer.)

    Guest: “I would like to make a complaint.”

    Me: “Sure, what can I help you with?”

    Guest: “I was on the top floor using the gym, and when I was done I found that there was no way to leave the floor. I looked everywhere, and could only find the emergency exit, and all floors were locked from the other side! So I had to go out the back alley and walk back around to the front entrance, and I would just like to voice how RIDICULOUS it is to have no way out of that level.”

    Me: “Okay, I will pass that on to my manager, but I have to ask: how did you get on the floor in the first place if there is no way in or out?”

    Guest: “Oh, um… well…”

    This Is How Democracy Dies

    | Farmington, UT, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Politics

    (I work in an election office. It’s the afternoon on Election Day, and we’ve been in a call center since 6 am, telling citizens where their designated polling place is and explaining how closed primaries work. The phone rings.)

    Me: “Hello, county elections, how may I help you?”

    Citizen: “I’ve been to three different polling places today, and they all say I’m in the wrong place!”

    Me: “Can I have your name? I’ll look up your polling place for you.”

    (The citizen gives their name.)

    Me: “It looks like your polling place is [Elementary School].”

    Citizen: “I’ve already been to three other places! How was I supposed to know that’s where my polling place was?”

    Me: “Well, we sent you a card a few weeks ago with your polling place on it. It should also be on the voter card that was mailed when you registered to vote at your address.”

    Citizen: “I have three kids! I don’t have time to read my mail!”

    Me: “In addition, we’ve listed all the polling places in the local paper for the last two weeks, and you could look up your polling place online at [website]. We’ve also had pamphlets at the local library. Or you could have called this number before you went to three different polling places.”

    Citizen: “That’s unacceptable! I want someone to come to my house on the morning of election day with a van and say, ‘Mrs. [Name], this is where you vote!’”

    Me: “Uh…”

    (And that’s how democracy dies.)

    He Is Irony Man

    | Lansing, MI, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Money

    (I work third shift at a local gas station, and have just finished ringing a customer up.)

    Me: “Do you have a rewards card with us, sir?”

    Customer: “No, and I don’t want one. That’s just a way for people I don’t know to track the things I’m buying!”

    Me: “That’s fine, sir. Your total today is [total].”

    Customer: “Alright, I’ll be putting it on my credit card.”

    Bird Brained, Part 9

    | Norway | Extra Stupid, Pets & Animals

    (I work in a pet store, and only one staff member is male. We also have a chatty amazon parrot.)

    Customer: “Excuse me?”

    Me: “How may I help you?”

    Customer: “Does the parrot say anything?”

    Me: “Yes! He can say many things! Greetings and lots of random nonsense!”

    (I wave at the parrot and he responds by saying ‘buh bye,’ and basically setting him off on a chatting rampage.)

    Customer: “I thought you said it was a he?”

    (I stare at the customer, somewhat confused.)

    Me: “Excuse me?”

    Customer: “Well… that’s clearly a woman’s voice!”

    (I just stand there for a moment before explaining the principal behind parrots speaking. Needless to say, the customer was sort of embarrassed as he left.)

    Related:
    Bird Brained, Part 8
    Bird Brained, Part 7
    Early Bird Brained
    Bird Brained, Part 6
    Bird Brained, Part 5
    Bird Brained, Part 4
    Bird Brained, Part 3
    Bird Brained, Part 2
    Bird Brained

    Should Take Stock Of Their Stupidity

    | Ottawa, ON, Canada | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid

    Customer: “Excuse me; do you have this item in a smaller size?”

    Me: *checking computer* “Unfortunately we don’t, but [other location 15 minutes away] is showing several. Would you like us to bring one over for you within the next couple of days? Or, if you like, we can call and have them hold it if you want to go there.”

    Customer: “We were there two weeks ago and they didn’t have it. Your computer must be wrong.”

    Me: “I’ll of course call to confirm their totals, but since we get stock in all the time it is possible that they have received some between then and now.”

    Customer: “What do you mean, you ‘get stock all the time?’”

    Me: “Well, every once in a while we get shipments to replace anything we’ve sold out of, or to bring in new merchandise.”

    Customer: “That’s stupid.”

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