October Theme Of The Month: Halloween!

Category: Extra Stupid

This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

Odds Of Finding A Seat Are Not In Their Favor

| MN, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Movies & TV

(It is the day before Thanksgiving at the movie theater where I work and ‘The Hunger Games’ has just premiered. Obviously, we are completely swamped. All four open tills have had an unending line of customers for the past hour. Despite this, my coworkers and I are all in sync and nothing has gone wrong the whole night. Suddenly, a family I don’t recognize walks up to me.)

Mother: “Excuse me. You need to do something about this right away.”

Me: “What is the problem, ma’am?”

Father: “You oversold this theater! There’re more people in there then there are seats! People are sitting in the aisles!”

(Our computer system that alerts us when a theater is about to sell out has malfunctioned, so we stopped selling tickets to “The Hunger Games” when there were only five seats remaining, as opposed to the fifteen we would normally. My guess is that they can’t find seats together.)

Me: “I’m very sorry that the theater is crowded. I’ve called my manager down to see what he wants us to do. In any case you will definitely get a full refund.”

Father: “We don’t want a refund. We want to see the movie! WE can’t do that because YOU sold us tickets to a movie with no seats.”

Me: “You see, there must be at least five open seats in the theater because we can’t sell more tickets than there are seats.”

(I tilt my register forward so they can see it and try to sell the last five tickets, showing them that it physically won’t let me.)

Mother: “Well you DID sell more!”

(At this point my manager arrives. They yell at him, and he instructs me to refund the total of their tickets and concessions purchases.)

Daughter: “Thanks for nothing. We’ll go to a theater that knows what they’re doing.”

Me: *to my manager* “Says the people who came ten minutes late to the most popular movie of the year and expected to find three seats together.”

(My manager later went into the theater to find nobody ‘sitting in the aisles,’ and a total of five unoccupied seats. Not together, of course.)

Not-So-Smart Phone, Part 11

| AL, USA | Extra Stupid, Language & Words, Technology

Customer: *storms into the store, tosses his phone at me* “D*** thing doesn’t work!”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry, sir.” *picks phone up* “What seems to be wrong with it?”

Customer: “It’s broken. Doesn’t work.”

Me: “Well, I understand that, sir, but what is or isn’t it doing?”

Customer: “It won’t let me log into my email. It’s broken. Fix it or get me another one.”

Me: “Well, sir… Is it possible you just put in the wrong password?”

Customer: “No. No, that ISN’T possible. I put in the password the way I always do.”

Me: “Well, let’s do this then, sir.” *I pull out my own phone* “I know my phone works. I’ll log out of my email on here, and you can try logging into it on mine.”

(The customer tries to log in on my phone, and it doesn’t work.)

Me: *smiles* “Now then, sir, either you just broke my phone, in which case I’ll need you to replace it, or you just forgot your email, and I can help you reset your password.”

Customer: *grumbling* “Let’s reset the d*** password, then.”

Not-So-Smart Phone, Part 10
Not-So-Smart Phone, Part 9
Not-So-Smart Phone, Part 8

Deal With Them On A Case By Case Basis

| Germany | Extra Stupid, Technology

(A customer calls tech support, telling me he had bought a new computer at one of my company’s stores, and that it isn’t turning on.)

Me: “Okay, I understand the problem.”

(Thinking it’s going to be the standard power-supply-switch/cable not connected issue, I ask him if he has plugged it in and switched it on at the back.)

Caller: “Well, there’s the problem. There is nowhere to plug in a cable.”

Me: “That’s unusual. Sir, are you sure you have the right cable and are looking at the right side of the computer?”

Caller: “Yes. I am looking at the back side, and there is nowhere to plug in a cable or anything.”

Me: “Okay, could you please describe to me what you see.”

Caller: “Well, I can tell you that there is a big hole in the back of the computer through which I can stick my entire arm.”

Me: *trying not to laugh* “Okay, sir, I think that might be the problem. I think you have bought a bare-bone casing for a computer, rather than a working PC. May I ask what the computer cost?”

Caller: “€90.”

Me: “Okay, sir,.I would advise you to take that casing back to the store and tell the guys there the issue. I am sure the will take it back and provide you with an actual computer rather than a case.”

Caller: “Er, um, okay. I guess I’ll do that then…” *click*

Can’t Imagine Why You Can’t Use Imaginary Coupons

| NJ, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid

(I greet a table of ten. In the middle of introducing myself this happens:)

Customer: “I have a coupon.”

Me: “Okay, hang on to it. It is applied at the end.”

Customer: “Hang onto it? I don’t have it with me. Is that a problem?”

Me: “So, you want to use a coupon that you don’t have with you?”

Customer: “I don’t understand why you have coupons if you won’t accept them.”

Me: “…”

Taxing Taxing

| MD, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Money

(Two customers come in close to closing and order three milkshakes. One of my employees makes them, they pay and leave. Five minutes later they come back in.)

Customer #1: “These shakes all taste funny. We tried all three. They’re all sour. We would like our money refunded.”

Me: “I’m sorry about that. Give me just a moment.”

(The card charges for the day don’t go through until we manually process them at the end of the night. Rather than giving them a refund for the charge amount, I find their exact order and comp off the shakes, making their order total $0.00 and removing their charge from having ever existed. I hand them a copy of the comped receipt.)

Me: “Well, here you go. Sorry about the shakes. Have a good night.”

Customer #1: “This is only for $8.70. We were charged $9.22.”

Me: “It just says $8.70 because that’s the price for the shakes without tax, which was removed from the bill making the total bill zero. The tax isn’t displayed because no tax can be added to a total of zero.”

Customer #2: “What, so I’m still being charged the tax!?”

Me: “No… The total is zero. There is no charge being made at all to your card. The comp here says $8.70 because that is the original price for the shakes. ”

Customer #2: “So you only refunded me $8.70, not $9.22.”

Me: “The original price was removed entirely, making the total zero. As there is no total on your order now, there is no tax, so it’s not displayed. That’s just the way the receipt displays the information. The charge was reversed entirely. The total displayed is zero dollars and zero cents, which is the new total for your order.”

(The customers, brows still furrowed, cautiously leave. Another moment later, customer #2 comes back in.)

Customer #2: “Could I just have your name to reference in case of further incident?”

Me: “Uh, sure, my name is [My Name].”

(I include the incident in my end of the night communications to the next day’s managers in case anything comes up. I also work the next day, but am not the manager in charge. The next day, the manager comes to talk to me about mid-afternoon.)

Manager: “Did you see your shake lady come in?”

Me: “No. What? You mean the lady who thought I was charging her tax? From last night?”

Manager: “Yeah, she actually came in! I had to explain to her that it wasn’t an actual refund but a reversal. She wasn’t getting it. I was like, it was a same day charge so we can just remove the charge from ever having happened rather than the hassle of doing a refund.”

Me: “Yeah, I explained the same exact thing to her…”

Manager: “She asked to speak to a manager, I should have gotten you!” *laughs*

Me: “Oh, man, that would have been great. She drove all the way back up here over 52 cents.”

Page 91/285First...8990919293...Last