Featured Story:
  • Always Time For A Rhyme
    (2,153 thumbs up)
  • Category: Extra Stupid

    This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

    Cut This One Down To Size

    | Auckland, New Zealand | Extra Stupid, Language & Words

    (I work in a clothing store with the basic sizes, S, M, and L.)

    Me: “Can I help you with anything today?”

    Customer: “Yes, I’m wanting a plain top for my dad in ‘men’s.’”

    Me: “Certainly. What size were you looking for?”

    Customer: “Men’s.”

    Me: “Um, what size?”

    Customer: “Men’s!”

    Me: “Were you looking for a medium, by any chance?”

    Customer: “MEN’S! MEN’S! WHY DO I HAVE TO REPEAT MYSELF!?”

    (I head out the back and grab a medium anyway.)

    Me: “We have a ‘M’ here for you.”

    Customer: “SEE! That wasn’t so hard was it!?”

    Needs To Go Back To Square One

    | Rochester, NY, USA | Extra Stupid, Home Improvement, Math & Science

    Customer: “I’m looking for a square tablecloth. I need 52 by 52, but it doesn’t fit.”

    Me: “Hmm, well what’s the size of the table?”

    Customer: “Well, it’s 52 by 104.”

    Me: “So you’re looking for an oblong tablecloth?”

    Customer: “I could have sworn it was a square.”

    Sound Of The Penny Dropping

    | London, England, UK | Extra Stupid, History, Money

    (We get a lot of people call us up when they find old banknotes and coins. Mostly, they’re worthless.)

    Customer: “I’ve found a really old £1 note, and I want to know if it’s worth anything?”

    Colleague: “Is there a signature on the front?”

    Customer: “It’s ‘DHF Somerset.’”

    Colleague: “Ah, well, that note was produced in the early 1980s. It’s not worth anything.”

    Customer: “No, it’s much earlier than that! It has the dates ’1642 to 1727′ on the back, and a picture of Isaac Newton. That’s very old!”

    Colleague: “Those are the dates he was alive. Besides, if it was produced back then, they couldn’t have put a picture of the current Queen on the front. Could they?”

    Customer: “Oh…”

    Mind-Blowing Ignorance

    | WA, USA | Extra Stupid, Family & Kids, Health & Body

    (I am an ER nurse. During the late morning, a man comes in with his son, who has a concussion. The policy is that a concussion patient isn’t allowed to sleep at all. The nurses and staff make sure the boy stays awake and notice that he keeps nodding off a little too easily.)

    Me: “Excuse me, but why is your son so tired?”

    Father: “Oh, he got his concussion in the wee hours of the morning and I just knew that he couldn’t fall asleep. So he’s been awake since then.”

    Me: “Why didn’t you bring him in here right away?”

    Father: “I didn’t know if you’d be open that early.”

    Me: “This is the ER! We’re always open!”

    Underpinning Their Own Stupidity

    , | Sydney, NSW, Australia | Extra Stupid, Money

    (We aren’t allowed to know customer’s personal identification numbers (PIN). If they disclose it, we have to reissue a new one, blocking their current one and starting a seven day wait for a new one to be sent.)

    Me: “Okay, you’ll need your PIN to set up online banking. Without telling me what it is, can you tell me if you know your PIN?”

    Caller: “Why can’t I say my PIN?”

    Me: “It’s your secure PIN. You shouldn’t disclose it to anyone, not even me. If you do, I’m required to replace it. That will delay what you want to do today. So, please don’t tell me what it is. Do you know your PIN? Just yes or no will be fine.”

    Caller: “My PIN is 1234. I forbid you to replace it.”

    Me: “Ma’am, I asked you not to tell me, and I explained why. I have to replace it now. I am truly sorry. It will take up to seven business days for you to receive it by mail.”

    Caller: “DON’T YOU DARE! I NEED ONLINE BANKING TO WORK TODAY!”

    Me: “Ma’am, I did explain this. I also have no option. I’m now required to replace your PIN for security.”

    Caller: “But I need this set up today! It’s urgent!”

    Me: “Ma’am, you clearly understood me. Can I ask, why did you tell me your PIN after I asked you not to?”

    Caller: “I DON’T LIKE BEING TOLD WHAT TO DO!”

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