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    Category: Extra Stupid

    This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

    Just Checking

    | OH, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid

    (An older customer comes through my line. She is paying with a check, and the register tells me to check her ID.)

    Me: “May I please see your ID?”

    Customer: “Oh, I don’t have one.”

    Me: “…you don’t have an ID?”

    Customer: “Well, I have a driver’s license. Is that an ID?”

    Summing Up Bad Parenting

    | USA | Extra Stupid, Family & Kids, Math & Science

    (I work at a small water park where it’s $5 for adults and $4 for kids. I’m working as the cashier at the ticket booth when a mom and her daughter walk up. The daughter can’t be more than seven or eight years old.)

    Me: “For the two of you it’s going to be $9.”

    Daughter: *with a HUGE smile on her face* “That’s $5 for mom and $4 for me!”

    Me: “Yes. You’re right! Good math!”

    Mom: *hands over the $9 in cash* “No, honey! It’s eight dollars! Four for me, and four for you. That’s eight, ugh!”

    (The mom storms in, mumbling something under her breath, while the girl’s smile vanishes.)

    Signed His Own Fate

    , | USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Money

    (We had a bad storm the night before that disconnected our store’s internet which is used for the credit cards. We have signs posted on the doors and on the registers that we cannot accept credit or debit cards. We can accept only cash or checks.)

    Me: “Hello. Is this for here or to go?”

    Customer: “For here. I’d like to use these coupons.”

    Me: “Okay.”

    (I ring up his order which comes to around $35 even with the coupons. He hands me a debit card.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir. We cannot accept cards at the moment.”

    Customer: “Well. I guess I’ll have to go elsewhere.”

    Me: “Okay, sir. Sorry for the inconvenience.”

    Customer: “Y’all need to have signs up for that.”

    Me: “You walked past two when you walked in, sir, and there’s one right there in your face.”

    Customer: *shamefully walks out*

    We Know Her Type

    | Finland | Extra Stupid, Technology

    (A customer had spilled beer on her old laptop and wants a cost-effective way of making it usable again. The spare keyboard is too expensive. We end up disconnecting the internal keyboard because its stuck keys prevent the machine from booting. She was fine with the idea of using an external keyboard from now on. The customer returned the next day, slamming the laptop on the counter.)

    Customer: “The keyboard doesn’t work! I was here just yesterday and you said you fixed it!”

    Me: “Yes. We ‘fixed’ it by disconnecting the keyboard, because you didn’t want to order a new one.”

    Customer: “But it doesn’t work!”

    Me: “It does not work because you agreed to disconnecting it. You specifically asked if anything could be done instead of ordering a new spare keyboard, which is more expensive than the machine’s current worth.”

    Customer: “You didn’t repair it!”

    Me: “You didn’t want the new keyboard. The old one was beyond repair. There’s nothing else I could do about it.”

    Customer: “But I paid money for it!”

    Me: “You paid us for opening the laptop and disconnecting the cable. Many budget laptops, such as this one, are really time-consuming to disassemble because they use plastic clips instead of screws. We charged you for 30 minutes of service time.”

    Customer: “But the keys no longer do anything!”

    Me: “…”

    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 27

    | USA | Extra Stupid, Money

    (I work at a call center for a major department store’s credit card – a card you can only use in that specific store. You could also make your monthly payment for the card in person at the store. On a rare occasion this can cause a small bit of confusion to some customers.)

    Me: “Thank you for calling [Store Name] credit. This is [My Name]. How can I help you today?”

    Customer: “I just received a bill from you for something I’ve already paid for! You need to fix this right now!”

    Me: “I’m very sorry for the confusion. Let me look at your account so we can get this straightened out. It says you purchased [quite expensive item] on [date]. Do you remember purchasing this item?”

    Customer: “I already told you I did, but I’ve already paid for this!”

    Me: “Did you pay cash in the store, but the clerk charged your card accidentally when they entered your personal information for your warranty?”

    Customer: “No! I didn’t pay cash! I put it on my card! I shouldn’t be getting a bill from you!”

    Me: “So, it was charged to a different credit card, not your [Store] credit card?”

    Customer: “Are you stupid? I used my [Store] credit card, but I’ve already paid for this. I’m not paying for it again!”

    Me: “I apologize for asking so many questions. I just want to make sure I understand you correctly so I can solve your problem. You used your [Store] credit card to make the purchase. Did you also make a payment to your card in the store?”

    Customer: “Why would I do that? I already paid for it WITH my card! Why would I give you any more money?”

    Me: “Ma’am, you do understand that when you pay for an item with your credit card, you’re signing an agreement to pay for your purchase later? A credit card is sort of like a loan so you can make the purchase you want today, and then make small payments on it over time.”

    Customer: “That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard! What’s the point of having a credit card if I still have to pay for what I’m buying?!”

    Related:
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 26
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 25

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