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    Category: Extra Stupid

    This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

    Directionless Wireless

    | Sheffield, England, UK | Extra Stupid, Technology

    (I work in technical support for an ISP. During a call with a customer the following conversation transpired.)

    Customer: “Your router isn’t very good is it? I can only get wireless signal downstairs.”

    Me: “Well, it is a very basic router. Is your house fairly old, as in having rather thick walls and ceilings?”

    Customer: “That’s right.”

    Me: “That would be why. The signal is struggling to get through. You can always look into a more powerful router or a booster, maybe?”

    Customer: “But… I don’t understand. I leave the door open so it can get upstairs.”

    Following Blind Orders

    | Los Angeles, CA, USA | Bizarre, Extra Stupid, Technology

    (I work in internal computer support. One afternoon I get a call from an older gentleman.)

    Me: “[Company] help desk. How can I help you?”

    Caller: “Make the information available. Do it.”

    Me: “What information do you need?”

    Caller: “Just do it!”

    Me: “I’m sorry; I need a little more context here. What are you calling about?”

    Caller: “The email said to call you and make the information available so I am calling you!”

    Me: “The information about what? What email are you referring to? What is the topic?”

    Caller: “I have no idea. I was just following orders!” *hangs up*

    Some Stupidity Is A Hard Nut To Crack

    | NJ, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (After serving a very difficult table, I am happy they are on dessert and leaving soon. As I go up to hand them the check:)

    Customer: *as she literally spits out the mouthful* “Oh, my God, are there nuts in here?! I can’t eat nuts! They will break my teeth!”

    Me: “Yes, ma’am, you ordered NUTS OVER CARAMEL ice cream.”

    Customer: “I just thought that was the name of it. Why are there nuts in it?!”

    Don’t Read, And Pay The Price

    | Moncton, NB, Canada | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Language & Words

    (Our policy is, and has always been, that 30-days notice is required to cancel any service; this is clearly noted on all customer bills.)

    Customer: “Why am I being charged an extra 30 days for service I didn’t use?”

    Me: “Sir, you called on March 21 and requested that the account be closed on the 30th.”

    Customer: “So?”

    Me: “Well, 30 days’ notice is required to cancel any service. It’s indicated on every bill you receive—”

    Customer: “What? You expect me to read?!”

    Knocked Back By An Explosion Of Ignorance

    | MN, USA | Extra Stupid, Family & Kids, Transportation

    (Obviously at a gas station, most people know that gas is flammable and it’s dangerous to leave your car running while pumping gas. When we see a car running we are supposed to shut off the pump and tell them to turn off their vehicles so they can resume fueling the vehicle. Most do it; some fought about it.)

    Me: *shut off a pump and talk over the intercom* “Ma’am, on pump nine, in the black car, can you please turn off your vehicle so I can restart the pump?”

    (I watch the customer continue to try and pump gas, ignoring me. I tell her two more times to turn off the car before she finally hangs up the pump and comes in.)

    Customer: “I have pump nine. $2.83. And I couldn’t turn off my car because I had my kid in there.”

    Me: “It’s the law, ma’am. Your kid won’t freeze in the few minutes the car is turned off. If I had let you continue you could have possibly blown up the place and it wouldn’t have mattered if your kid was in the car.”

    Customer: “I’ve never heard of such a thing in my life.”

    Me: “It happened not too long ago at [Nearby City].”

    Customer: “That’s bulls***. I’m never going to stop here again.”

    Me: “That’s fine with me, ma’am. I’d like to keeping living and not get blown up by ignorant people such as yourself. Have a nice day.”

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