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    Category: Extra Stupid

    This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

    It’s All Sliding Downhill From Here

    | IN, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (An elderly gentleman wearing a wife beater that is tucked into his underwear slowly makes his way to the counter to pick up his pizza. After a seemingly normal transaction with a sane customer, he picks up his pizza and turns to walk out the door. As he turns he tilts the pizza vertically and puts it under his arm (like carrying a book). I and some fellow employees watch in amazement as we imagine the hot pizza cheese sliding into a clump.)

    Manager: “He’s going to be calling back…”

    (About fifteen minutes later, the phone rings.)

    Me: “[Pizza], how can I help you?”

    Customer: “I’d like to speak to a manager, please.”

    Me: “Right away.”

    Manager: “This is [Manager]. How can I help you?”

    Customer: “Yes, my pizza was clumped on one side of the box and the cheese had slide off the pizza. I’d like a new one!”

    An Extra Toast To All The Idiots

    | Round Rock, TX, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Top

    (I work at a restaurant making sandwiches. My coworker asked me to talk to a customer over the phone who wanted to voice a complaint about food he ordered several days ago.)

    Me: “Hello. Thank you for calling [Restaurant]. What can I help you with today?”

    Customer: “Yes, hi. Uh, I ordered a sandwich from y’all a while ago, and the bread was too hard for me. I’d like the names of the employees working so I can leave a complaint.”

    Me: “Oh, I’m sorry to hear that ,sir. Please tell me about the order so I can rectify the problem.”

    Customer: “Well, I ordered the steak and cheese foot long, and when I tried eating it the bread was too crunchy.”

    Me: “Uh, sure… Did you have this sandwich toasted, by any chance?”

    Customer: “Yes, I did. Why?”

    Me: “Well, usually when you toast a sandwich, the bread tends to get kind of crunchy, ’cause, you know, It’s toasted…”

    Customer: “Well, it was too toasted!”

    Me: “Okay… Did you tell the employee that you didn’t want it as toasted?”

    Customer: “Well, I wanted it extra toasted, but that was too much!”

    Me: “So, let me understand this: your complaint is that the sandwich you wanted extra toasted, more than recommended, was in fact too toasted?”

    Customer: “Are you being smart with me here?!”

    Me: “Someone in this conversation has to be.”

    The Other Shoe Never Dropped

    , | Calgary, AB, Canada | Extra Stupid, Theme Of The Month

    (I’m at work in a store that exclusively sells shoes. Sometimes when people get unspecific about what they want, I like to joke with them about it.)

    Me: “Hi there! Were you searching for anything in particular today?”

    Customer: “Shoes.”

    Me: *dead-pan* “Sorry, we’re out of those.”

    Customer: “WHAT?”

    (The customer looks seriously angry and tries to storm out before I chase her down and tell her that we do, in fact, have some shoes left.)

    Refunder Blunder, Part 6

    | MT, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Money

    (I work the customer service and return desk and am in the process of returning several items of clothing for a customer because they did not fit her children. Before I can finish the transaction and hand her back her money, she hands me a coupon.)

    Customer: “When I bought these items, the cashier didn’t scan my coupon. Can you just do it now?”

    Me: “… I’m sorry?”

    Customer: “Just take this coupon off during the return for me. I wanted to use it.”

    Me: “Ma’am, this is a return transaction, I can’t use a coupon on a return.”

    Customer: “Then return my items and resell them to me with the coupon!”

    Me: “So you want me to return your items, resell them to you with your coupon, and then return them a second time?”

    Customer: “Yes!”

    Me: “Knowing that if I resell you the items with the coupon, you will receive less money back on the second return because of it?

    Customer: “Yes!”

    (We had to have a manager explain to her that it wasn’t worth it to do all that just for a coupon.)

    Related:
    Refunder Blunder, Part 5
    Refunder Blunder, Part 4
    Refunder Blunder, Part 3

    Taking Truth Down To The Wire

    | WI, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology, Theme Of The Month

    (When our store first started using spiderwire (an alarmed wire wrapped around packaging) we weren’t allowed to tell people what is was, for whatever reason. When asked, I would just say it is a security device. I am pressed on how it works by one belligerent customer:)

    Me: “This is a sophisticated anti-theft system we’ve just invested in. If one leaves the store it will automatically engage the alarm and trigger the GPS tracking. We then relay the information to the police. It’s so we can not only stop theft, but bust thieves in their own homes.”

    (The customer’s mouth was open with shock.)

    Customer: “I didn’t realize [Store] was capable of that!”

    (He then set his item wrapped in wire down slowly and literally ran out of the store.)


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