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    Category: Extra Stupid

    This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

    Electing Key Information

    , | Tempe, AZ, USA | Extra Stupid, Politics

    (I’m volunteering to make phone calls on Election Day for a political campaign.)

    Me: “Hello. This is [My Name) with [Campaign]. I’m calling to make sure—”

    Voter: “Why the h*** do you call people like this?! I’m sick of it.”

    Me: “Well, I’m sorry, sir. I just want to—”

    Voter: “Seriously, don’t you think people are smart enough to do their own research? Everyone knows there is an election going on! There is no reason to bother people like this!”

    Me: “Again, I’m sorry to bother you, sir. I just wanted to make sure you had a chance to vote today.”

    Voter: “Wait… the election is today?! Thank you!”

    Second Life, Same Bigotry

    | USA | Bigotry, Extra Stupid, Technology

    (I create products for several virtual worlds. Please note that I’m male and so is my primary character. I also have a female character logged in for doing testing when I get a message from a customer.)

    Customer: “I’m having problems with one of your products.”

    Me: Can you describe the problem?”

    Customer: “Well, I really need you to see. Can you come?”

    Me: “Well, I have a screen full of programming and building, but I have a friend who I’m sure can help.”

    Customer: “Okay, that will be fine.”

    (I send my female character and never let on that it’s actually me. The problem gets resolved quickly and I bring my female character home. The customer messages me again.)

    Customer: “YOU SENT A WOMAN!”

    Me: “What?”

    Customer: “Why did you send a woman?”

    Me: “Well, did you two resolve the problem?”

    Customer: “Yes, BUT IT WAS A WOMAN!”

    (Punch-line? The customer was female, too!)

    Put Them In The Hot Seat

    | AL, USA | Extra Stupid, Top, Tourists/Travel, Transportation

    (I always like to follow up after a trip I have booked for a customer. A couple had booked a plane flight to Florida, a small rental car, and a few nights hotel on the beach.)

    Me: “Hi, Mrs. [Name]. This is [My Name] calling from [Travel Agency]. I just wanted to make sure you had a wonderful time on your trip.”

    Wife: “You’ll have to speak with my husband. I’m too upset to speak with you.”

    Husband: “I can’t believe you have the courage to call, after what you did. I’ve dealt with incompetence before, but you are the worst!”

    Me: “I’m so sorry. What happened?”

    Husband: “When I booked the flight, I told you that I wanted an aisle seat, and my wife preferred a window seat. You had us backwards on all four flights!”

    Me: “I’m so sorry. Why didn’t you just swap seats? Or, say something to a flight attendant, who would have told you to just swap seats?”

    Husband: “…” *click*

    Double Take Required

    | Wausau, WI, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid

    (I’m rather short, 5’3″, a bit heavy, and have short black hair and dark eyes. My coworker is lean, tall, almost 5’10”, and has red hair and hazel eyes. The only similarity we have is that we both wear glasses. Even on this day I was wear a black uniform top and she was wearing a pink one, in honor of Breast Cancer Awareness month. We just switched off so she can go home.  I hop on the register.)

    Customer: *coming up to the checkout* “I couldn’t find it. Are you sure it’s there?”

    Me: “Um, what are you looking for?”

    Customer: *getting angry* “I already told you! Did you really just forget? Honestly!”

    Me: “Ma’am, I just started my shift.”

    Customer: “No! I just talked to you! You told me where I could find this!” *thrusts a small plastic bag with a jewelry finding in it*

    Me: “Oh! Jewelry findings are the first row of jewelry and go straight back to the wall, ma’am.”

    Customer: “That’s not what you said before!”

    Me: “Ma’am, I just got here.”

    Manager: *coming up since she heard the yelling* “Is there a problem?”

    Customer: “This cashier is being rude and is lying to me!”

    Me: “Ma’am, I am sorry my coworker has told you the wrong section, but she was the one that helped you. I just started.”

    Customer: “Right there! Lying!”

    Manager: “Actually, she’s right. She did just clock in.”

    Customer: “Oh… well… You two just look so much alike!” *storms off*

    Manager: “Who did you relieve?”

    Me: “[Coworker].”


    Putting The Pee Into Preparation

    | Sydney, NSW, Australia | Extra Stupid, Health & Body

    (I work in a radiology practice. I have just finished booking an appointment for a patient for the following day and am explaining the preparation procedure for his examination.)

    Me: “One hour prior to your appointment, you will need to drink six glasses of water and hold your bladder.”

    Patient: *nods slowly, but clearly does not understand*

    Me: “Do you understand the preparation, sir?”

    Patient: “Oh, yes. Yes, of course.” *nods vigorously*

    (Unconvinced, I write him an appointment card and explain the procedure again. A short while later, the patient returns.)

    Patient: “I, um, just have one question regarding that preparation.”

    Me: “Yes, drinking the water and holding the bladder.”

    Patient: “Yep. So, where do I get a bladder from? Can you just buy them from the chemist?”

    Me: “Sir, you already have a bladder. It’s a part of your urinary tract system. It’s an organ inside your body.”

    Customer: “Oh, okay! I get you! I get you! So… I don’t need to go to the chemist?”

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