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    Category: Extra Stupid

    This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

    Yukon Freeze It, Part 2

    | ON, Canada | Canada, Extra Stupid, Geography

    (I work at a call centre located in Canada, but our focus is verifying orders placed for long distance phone service with a particular company in America, so all our incoming calls originate from there. I am on a call with a man from a Southern state.)

    Caller: “Where are you from?”

    Me: “We’re located in Canada, sir.”

    Caller: “Oh wow, you must see a lot of moose up there then?”

    Me: “Well, maybe more so out west, sir. But we are in Southern Ontario. There aren’t really any moose here.”

    Caller: “You must have a lot of snow, right?”

    Me: *it’s currently summer* “Yes, during the winter we can get lots of snow.”

    Caller: “How do you power your call centre?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir? We use electricity.”

    Caller: “Wouldn’t the heat from electricity melt the igloos?”

    (I have to mute my headset as I laugh and try to compose myself. I want so badly to joke with him, but our calls are recorded.)

    Me: “No, sir. We live in houses and buildings in cities just like you. Even way up north I don’t think you’d find any igloos anymore.”

    Caller: “Really? Oh. What were you asking me again?”

    (We resume the call as normal, but at the after our goodbyes, he jumps in.)

    Caller: “Wait! If I give you my email, can you send me a picture of a moose?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, I can’t do that.”

    Caller: “Aw, how come?”

    Me: “Because it’s against company policy and the moose are camera shy. Have a great day, sir!”

    Related:
    Yukon Freeze It

    They’re Talking Babel

    | Boston, MA, USA | Extra Stupid, Language & Words, Religion, Top

    (I am a customer in line behind one man and one woman. The employees at this shop all have fairly heavy accents, but speak perfectly understandable English. However, they do converse amongst themselves in Spanish.)

    Female Customer: *turns around* “What is the matter with these people? Why the h*** can’t they just speak English the way God intended?”

    (The other customer and I raise our eyebrows at each other.)

    Male Customer: “What makes you think God intended people to speak English?

    Female Customer: “Well, the Bible is in English, duh!”

    PEBCAK, Episode VI

    | MO, USA | Extra Stupid, School, Technology, Top

    (I am a student worker at a college IT department. Most of our calls come from older professors who often have trouble with their machines. This call comes from a student.)

    Me: “Hello, this is [school] IT department. What can I do for you today?”

    Student: “Hello, yes, I’m trying to give a presentation in [classroom] but the projector won’t connect! It won’t show any image, you have to come right now!”

    Me: “Thank you for calling, I’ll be right over.”

    (I go to the classroom, and indeed, the projector says it can’t find any source. I check all the wiring, double check the projector, all while the class is waiting and the student is ranting.)

    Student: “I can’t believe this! IT never gets anything right! I’m going to send out an email to the whole school about this! Why can’t you get it to work? I have to give this presentation!”

    Me: “Well, I’m sorry, but everything is hooked up correctly, it should be working.”

    Professor: “Well, I guess we’ll just have to push all the presentations back.”

    (I suddenly realized I just assumed that someone my own age would know how to operate a computer, so I fall back on what I would do if this were a professor problem and go to open the cabinet where the computer tower is. I start to laugh as I realize the computer isn’t even turned on! I press the power button, and sure enough, the projector shows the start-up screen.)

    Student: “You got it to work! What did you do? What was wrong with it?”

    Me: “You didn’t turn on the computer.”

    (The rest of the class laughs and the student sheepishly thanks me and logs on to the computer as I leave.)

    Related:
    PEBCAK, Episode V

    Pointedly Pointing Out Appointments

    | CO, USA | Extra Stupid, Time

    (I am a receptionist taking calls for a very busy doctor.)

    Caller: “Hi, I need to schedule an appointment with the doctor.”

    Me: “Okay. Can I have your name, please?”

    Caller: *gives name*

    Me: “Well, it looks like you already have an appointment on the schedule for tomorrow. Do you need me to move it?”

    Caller: “No, I don’t have an appointment.”

    Me: “Are you sure? The computer says you’re marked down for 10:30 tomorrow morning.”

    Caller: “I’m positive. I always write my doctor’s appointments down in my little book. And I don’t have an appointment written down in my book or anywhere else. That means it doesn’t exist. Your computer must be malfunctioning. Just give me an appointment.”

    Me: “Wait… so my computer accidentally scheduled you an appointment?”

    Caller: “Yes. Now, please make me a real appointment.”

    Me: “Well, we have to schedule this type of appointment two months out.”

    Caller: “No, no. I need to get in this week.”

    Me: “Well, in that case, I just had a spot open up tomorrow at 10:30. Will that do?”

    Caller: “Yes! Perfect! Thank you!”

    Has No Idea What’s In Store For Them

    | Washington, DC, USA | Extra Stupid

    Me: “Thank you for calling [store name]. How can I help you?”

    Customer: “Is this a store?”

    Me: “Yes.”

    Customer: “A store where you can buy things?”

    Me: “Um… yes?”

    Customer: “I’ll be there in fifteen minutes!” *hangs up*


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