Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • Filled With Creamy Justice
    (1,807 thumbs up)
  • July Theme Of The Month: Animal Madness!
    Submit your story today!

    Category: Extra Stupid

    This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

    Can’t Get A Handle On The Handle

    | MD, USA | Bad Behavior, Extra Stupid

    (We are an appliance dealer. Our doors are locked as a safety precaution, and we have to buzz people in. A customer is furiously jiggling the door handle. I speak to her through the intercom.)

    Me: “Can I help you, ma’am?”

    Woman: “OPEN UP!”

    Me: “Okay ma’am, wait for the buzzer and pull.”

    (The customer continues to jiggle it before and through the buzzer sound, so it doesn’t open.)

    Woman: “LET ME IN! WHAT IS THIS?! ARE YOU RACIST IN THERE? YOU DON’T WANT MY KIND IN THERE?!”

    (I speak louder over the non-stop jiggling and banging.)

    Me: “Ma’am, I’ll buzz you in again. Just please let go, wait for the buzzer, and then pull.”

    (The customer continues to jiggle the handle and yell and bang. This repeats two more times.)

    Me: “Miss, I don’t mean to be rude, but it’s really not that difficult. Please, just take your hands off the handle, wait for the buzzer, and then pull the handle.”

    (The customer continues to jiggle the handle.)

    Woman: “WELL F*** THIS! I DON’T NEED THIS! I’M A F****** QUEEN!”

    (The customer punches the glass and leaves.)

    Me: “Have a nice day, your highness.”

    I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 10

    | Finland | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (I’m chatting with my friend in a grocery store, completely minding my own business. Another customer approaches us.)

    Customer: “Can you please help me to find [item]?”

    Me: “Umm… I don’t know where to find it…”

    Customer: “It’s pretty much like this, but a different shape and brand.”

    (The customer holds up another item, and continues talking for a while. I’m trying to interrupt her, but she’s giving me the exact specs and some more.)

    Me: “I’m sorry; but I don’t work here. Unfortunately I have no idea where to find it.”

    (She looks at me with a puzzled look on her face. At this point I realize that my shirt is red, and not completely unlike the uniform that the shop assistants are required to wear.)

    Customer: “Are you sure? You look like you work here.”

    Me: “Yeah, I’m quite certain. Please read the back of my shirt. The store wouldn’t probably accept the message, would they?”

    (My shirt is from a local rap artist with a slogan that translates to “steal from your boss”.)

    Related:
    I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 9
    I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 8
    I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 7
    I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 6
    I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 5

    The Puerile And The Frog

    | USA | Bad Behavior, Extra Stupid, Pets & Animals

    (I have a large collection of plants at my workplace, including a terrarium. I hear someone taking the lid off of it. When I look over, there are two customers rooting through it.)

    Me: “Please don’t dig through that.”

    Customer: “Huh?”

    Me: “Don’t touch that. Those are all real plants, and that jar is glass. I don’t want it to break.”

    Customer: “Is there a snake in there?”

    Me: “…no.”

    Customer: “D***! A frog?”

    Me: “No. Just plants. Please put the lid back on.”

    Customer: “There should be a frog. I wanted to let it loose in here!”

    When The Dog Is Smarter Than Their Owner

    | MI, USA | Extra Stupid, Pets & Animals, Top, Wild & Unruly

    (I am outside with a small, but very nervous and dog-aggressive dog. He is new to our kennel, so I am trying to spend some time with him to bond, so he will feel more comfortable with my coworkers and I. He has just let me pet him for the first time all day, which is a huge step forward. A client drives up the driveway, and gets out of his car with his Labrador retriever. He begins to open the ‘Employees Only’ gate.)

    Me: “Sorry, sir, but this area is employees only. Also, I’m working with a very nervous dog, which can be dangerous. I don’t want anything to happen to you, your dog, or this dog.”

    Client: “My dog is really friendly. I’m sure they would get along just fine.”

    (The client begins opening the latch to the gate.)

    Me: “Sir, please don’t come in here.”

    (The dog I am working with begins growling and assuming an aggressive stance toward the man’s Lab.)

    Client: “My dog can hold his own against that little thing.”

    Me: “Sorry, but I can’t risk you, myself, or either dog being injured. Please stay on the other side of the gate until I can get this one inside. I’ll help you as soon as I get back.”

    Client: “I’m sure it will be fine. Just let them play!”

    Me: “No. Even if this dog was extremely friendly, there’s at least a 90-pound difference between these two dogs, and I wouldn’t want your dog to accidentally step on this one. Stay right there. I’ll be back in just a minute.”

    (The client opens the gate, and his dog pushes through and charges towards the small dog. I lift up the little dog, which is barking and snapping at the Lab, and trying to squirm out of my arms. He manages to scratch my face from my hairline to my jawline, barely missing my eye. Meanwhile, the Lab is jumping on me, scratching my legs and stomach hard.)

    Me: “SIR. PLEASE GET YOUR DOG OUT OF HERE AND TAKE HIM TO THE OTHER SIDE OF THE FENCE!”

    Client: “Fine, whatever.”

    (He leashes his dog and moves him while I put the little dog back. He is obviously agitated, growling at me through his fenced in area. I get the owner of the kennel to talk to the client about his behavior.)

    Owner: “My staff told me what happened here. Didn’t she tell you not to let your dog in?”

    Client: “I told her my dog wouldn’t get hurt!”

    Owner: “That isn’t the point! She was doing trust exercises with a nervous new dog! You just undid all of her work!”

    Client: “No I didn’t! He seemed fine!”

    Me: *to owner* “The dog just growled at me and tried to bite me through the fence. He wasn’t doing that before.”

    Owner: “Oh my gosh, [my name], you’re bleeding everywhere.”

    (I look down and see that the small dog has scratched my arms during the struggle enough to make me bleed a little, and my legs are starting to bruise and bleed from the Lab jumping on me. However, my face is worse. I see a few drops of blood drop onto my shirt from my forehead.)

    Owner: “I need to get my employee cleaned up. Please take your dog elsewhere. I don’t need any clients who refuse to listen to my employees, who are trained professionals. Please go board your dog elsewhere.”

    Client: “She’s not bleeding that badly! God! I just wanted my dog to play with that dog! If your employee would give him a chance, they’d get along just fine!”

    Owner: “Get your d*** dog out of here before I call the police and every kennel in town, telling them what you did.”

    (After some arguing, the client leaves with his dog. We have never seen him again. The scratches on my arms, legs, and stomach weren’t too bad. However, I do have a small scar just below my hairline from the little dog.)

    Noisy Complaints Are All-Enveloping

    | Provo, UT, USA | Bad Behavior, Extra Stupid, Top

    (I am in a rather lengthy line at the post office to buy a bunch of stamps for work; it is early afternoon. An elderly customer behind me is complaining loudly to no one in particular about the wait.)

    Customer: “I can’t believe they’re making us wait like this. It’s the middle of the day; the line shouldn’t be like this! I have places to be!”

    (I glance back at her, but don’t really pay much attention.)

    Customer: “This is ridiculous! They could just open up more lines and get us all through here quickly, but they just make us all wait in line.”

    (When I get to the front of the line, the customer makes a big show of loudly counting all of the closed cashier stands and complaining. I ask the clerk for my stamps, and he goes to the back to get them, as I need more than he has at his station.)

    Customer: “Oh, now one of them is leaving? I can’t believe this!”

    (The customer suddenly walks up to the counter to stand next to me. When the clerk comes back, she speaks up.)

    Customer: “I need to buy these things, now.”

    Me: “Excuse me? He’s still helping me.”

    Customer: “Well, I just need to buy a few things.”

    Me: “So do I. It’ll just be a moment.”

    Customer: “You’re buying a ton of stamps! I just need these envelopes.”

    (I finally pay enough attention to realize what she’s holding: several flat rate envelopes.)

    Me: “Ma’am, those are free.”

    Customer: “What?”

    Me: “You can take those for free. You just have to pay the postage when you bring them back in.”

    (The customer looks at the clerk, who nods.)

    Customer: “Well, how was I supposed to know that?! Someone should have told me sooner!”

    Me: “It’s written all over the stand you grabbed them from.”

    (The customer looks back at the stand, and sees that I’m right. She then leaves in a huff, complaining about the post office wasting her time.)


    Page 89/186First...8788899091...Last