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    Category: Extra Stupid

    This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

    Doesn’t Have The Math Jeans

    | USA | Extra Stupid, Math & Science, Money

    (A customer is trying to exchange a pair of jeans. My coworker notices he will be getting some money back.)

    Coworker: “Sir, this pair of jeans is less than the pair you bought earlier, so I will give you the cash back.”

    Customer: “That’s it! Give me my d*** pants back! I don’t want to deal with this s*** anymore!”

    (My coworker looks stunned at the guy’s outburst.)

    Coworker: “But sir, you’ll be getting money back!”

    Customer: “I don’t care! Just give me my d*** pants back! Or explain it to me; I don’t understand this!”

    Coworker: “Well sir, this pair—”

    Customer: “Just give me the d*** pants! You guys always do s*** like this; you just lost a good customer!”

    (The customer grabs the pants and storms towards the doors. As he leaves, a second customer stars applauding, and yells after him.)

    Customer #2: “Sure doesn’t sound like it!”

    So Slow It Hertz, Part 2

    | San Antonio, TX, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Movies & TV, Technology

    (I’m working box office today, and it’s been a really long, busy day. After so many hours, the registers sometimes lag a bit during transactions. We’re finally slowing down a bit, and the lines are pretty much gone.)

    Me: “Alright, so you wanted two tickets for Silver Linings Playbook?”

    Customer: “Yes, please.”

    (I hit the buttons for her tickets, but the computer freezes up a bit.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. My computer is being slow right now.”

    Customer: *gasps* “You take that back!”

    Me: “Ma’am?”

    Customer: “Everyone knows ‘slow’ is not politically correct! Your computer is ‘mentally impaired’!”

    Me: “Ma’am, it’s a computer…”

    Customer: “And I suppose next you’ll say it’s retarded?! You people are so insensitive; it makes me sick!”

    (I’m speechless, so I hand her the tickets as quickly as possible.)

    Me: “E-enjoy your show.”

    (She takes the tickets and shakes her head, glaring at me, before walking away. The next customer comes up to me.)

    Customer #2: “What the heck was she going on about?”

    Me: “I don’t know, but apparently my computer is mentally impaired and not slow.”

    Related:
    So Slow It Hertz

    He Has Beef With The Cheese

    , | OH, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    Me: “Welcome to [store]; how can I help you?”

    Customer: “I want a cheeseburger, with no cheese.”

    Me: “Okay, so that’s one hamburger—”

    Customer: “NO. I want a CHEESE-burger with no CHEESE.”

    Me: “Right. So that’s a hamburger—”

    Customer: “NO! God, are you deaf or something? I want a f****** CHEESEBURGER with no f****** CHEESE!”

    Me: “…okay, so that’s cheeseburger, no cheese.”

    Customer: “Yes! Was that so hard?”

    No Meat In Their Brain

    | Orlando, FL, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Top

    (I’m waiting in line to get a sandwich when I overhear this conversation between a customer in line ahead of me and the employee behind the counter.)

    Customer: “What kind of meat comes on the vegetarian sub?”

    Employee: “Uh… the vegetarian sub doesn’t have any meat on it, ma’am. That’s why it’s called the vegetarian sub.”

    Customer: “Well, that sounds bland and boring as h***. Who the h*** would eat that?”

    Employee: “A vegetarian?”

    Customer: “Well I’m a vegetarian, and I wouldn’t eat a sub with no meat on it!”

    Employee: “Uh… how can you be a vegetarian if you eat meat, ma’am?”

    Customer: “Huh? What are you talking about?”

    Employee: “Vegetarians are people who don’t eat meat.”

    Customer: *snorts* “No they’re not, you idiot! A vegetarian is just someone who likes vegetables! It doesn’t mean you can’t eat meat too!”

    Employee: “I’m pretty sure it means someone who ONLY eats vegetables, ma’am.”

    Customer: “Whatever. I’m never eating here again. If you’re too f****** stupid to understand what a vegetarian is, you’d probably screw up my sandwich anyway!” *storms out*

    Not As Happy As A Clam

    | ME, USA | Awesome Workers, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Top

    (My friend and I are at a local market picking up chicken for her graduation party. While we’re waiting to pay, the phone rings and the cashier has to answer.)

    Cashier: “Good afternoon… I’m afraid we are sold out of clams right now… well we get a shipment in tomorrow afternoon… tomorrow afternoon… no we are sold out right now… yes we get some tomorrow afternoon… around 1 pm or so… uhm we’ll have them until they’re sold out… no we are sold out right now… why? It’s been very busy with the warm weather.” *sighs* “Tomorrow afternoon… well, I’m really sorry that we don’t have any right now, but we’ve sold out. Okay there’s a seafood store in town, bye.”

    (The cashier hangs up and looks annoyed.)

    Cashier: “Sorry… just the chicken?”

    Friend: *jokingly* “Yes but do you have clams?”

    Cashier: “Get out.”

    Friend: “But whhhyyy! I want some noooooooowww!”

    Cashier: “Well you’re gonna have to wait; sucks to be you!”

    Friend: “You wanted to say that to the person on the phone didn’t you?”

    Cashier: “You have no idea.”


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