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    Category: Extra Stupid

    This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

    A Whole New World

    | NC, USA | Extra Stupid, Geography, Language & Words

    (I’m spending the summer with my grandmother in a small southern town, but I’m from Connecticut.)

    Me: “Hello, I’m [name]. I’ll be your server today. Can I start you off with something to drink?”

    Customer: *in a thick southern drawl* “What an unusual accent! Where are you from?”

    Me: “I’m from New England.”

    Customer: “How lovely! I’ve always wanted to go to Europe!”

    No Time For Patience And Patients

    | WV, USA | Extra Stupid, Health & Body

    Me: “[Doctor's office]. How may I help you?”

    Patient: “I need an appointment for tomorrow.”

    Me: “How about 10:20?”

    Patient: “20 minutes until 11:00?”

    Me: “No. 10:20.”

    Patient: *condescendingly* “Isn’t 10:20 just 20 minutes until 11:00?”

    Me: “No. That would be 10:40.”

    Patient: “How many minutes until eleven is 10:20?”

    Me: “40.”

    Patient: “So my appointment is at 10:40?”

    Me: “No. It’s 10:20.”

    Patient: “Okay. See you at 10:40.”

    The Dumbest Of The Animals

    | UK | Extra Stupid, Pets & Animals

    (I work in a gift shop in a zoo. We have a drive-around area, and all guests are given a map on the way in.)

    Guest: “Hi, I was wondering if you could help.”

    Me: “Sure, what’s up?”

    Guest: *pointing to the map* “Is this bit all in your car?”

    Me: “Yup, you have to drive round that bit and stay in your vehicle.”

    Guest: “So this bit is on foot?”

    Me: “Yes.”

    Guest: “Do you have to stick to the path or can you walk anywhere in this bit?”

    Me: “I wouldn’t advise it, as the polar bears have access to all this area, and the tigers have access to all that area.”

    Guest: “Oh… that was a really stupid question wasn’t it?”

    Getting Owned By The Owner, Part 3

    | Milwaukee, WI, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Liars & Scammers

    (I work at a gas station. A construction company has accidentally knocked out our power. After getting the store closed up and the closed signs are posted to the doors, we wait for the power to be restored. A customer parks her car at the gas pumps, walks to the entrance, and pounds on the door.)

    Me: “I’m sorry; we’ve experienced a power outage and we’re closed for a few more hours.”

    Customer: “I need to get gas.”

    Me: I’m sorry, but as I said, we’re closed at the moment. I hate to do it, but I have to send you to the gas station across the street.

    Customer: “Don’t you have a key to the register? Why can’t you take my money and let me get my gas? Everybody else does it manually.”

    Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry, but you don’t seem to understand. Without electricity, the gas pump won’t work. I wish we could help you, but we can’t right now.”

    Customer: “Well, I know the owner of this store personally. And you can tell him I am very dissatisfied with the service from his employees. He won’t like this at all.”

    Me: *smiling* “Ma’am, he’s actually right here, and you can speak with him yourself.”

    (I step aside, and the owner of the store, who has been listening, walks to the front door.)

    Owner: “I’m sorry, but who are you? The power is out right now and we’re closed!”

    (The owner pulls the door closed, locks it, and walks away from the very embarrassed customer.)

    Related:
    Getting Owned By The Owner, Part 2
    Getting Owned By The Owner

    Having A Light Bulb Moment, Part 3

    , | Grand Canyon, AZ, USA | Extra Stupid, Geography, Theme Of The Month, Tourists/Travel

    (It’s almost dusk at the gift shop I am running at the southern rim of the Grand Canyon. A tourist couple approaches.)

    Woman: “Where is the best spot to watch the Canyon at night?”

    Me: “Well, anywhere along the walkway is good, but the sun’s going down very soon.”

    Man: “Yes, we want to be here when they turn on the lights.”

    Me: “…lights?”

    Woman: “Yes, so we can see it at night.”

    Me: “Umm, the Canyon is over a mile deep at this point, and the northern rim is over a mile across from here. There aren’t any lights in it for nighttime.”

    Man: “Then how do you see it at night?”

    Me: “…basically it’s the big blackness out there.”

    Related:
    Having A Light Bulb Moment, Part 2
    Having A Light Bulb Moment

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