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    Category: Extra Stupid

    This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

    Needs To Go To 911, 101

    | SC, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid

    Me: “911, what’s the address of your emergency?”

    Caller: “I need the number for the phone company.”

    Me: “Ma’am, this is 911. Do you have an emergency?”

    Caller: “I need the number for the phone company!”

    Me: “Okay, so just to clarify: you do not have an emergency at this time?”

    Caller: “No.”

    Me: “Okay, ma’am. Call me back at this number and I’ll see what I can do to help you.”

    (At this point I gave her the non-emergency number and she hung up. I grabbed the phone book while I waited on her to call back.)

    Me: “This is the [City] Police Department. How can I help you?”

    Caller: “Yes, I need the number for the phone company.”

    Me: “Okay, ma’am. I’ve got the phone book in front of me now. There are three numbers listed here, which do you need? I have one for billing, one for establishing service, and one for repairs.”

    Caller: “No! I need the number for the phone company that I can call and get someone else’s phone number.”

    Me: *pause* “Do you mean 411, ma’am?”

    Caller: “Yes! That’s it! Thanks!” *click*

    Closed To Reality

    | Paris, France | Bad Behavior, Extra Stupid

    (We are closed for inventory, and signs are informing the customers of that fact. Despite this, many people have tried to enter the store. Most of them just leave when they realise the door is locked.)

    Manager: *to me* “Okay, we’re going to take the shipment for this week. I need you to stand in the doors and tell customers we’re closed.”

    (I oblige. As the truck is unloading and some other of the employees are putting the food away in the freezer, a customer approaches. Note that I am wearing the store’s uniform, with a bright apron.)

    Me: “Hello, ma’am! I’m sorry but—”

    (Without listening, she tries to get around me. I move in front of her to prevent her from getting in, and keep trying to explain the situation to her. Frustrated, she pushes me to the side and I hit the wall. She then rushes inside. The manager sees her and runs after her, trying to stop her.)

    Manager: “Ma’am! Ma’am, we’re closed.”

    Customer: *looking around* “Closed? There are employees everywhere and the doors are open!”

    Manager: “We’re doing the inventory of the store, which is why the employees are here. However we’re not allowed to sell food as it would mess up our numbers.”

    Customer: “Well, you should keep the doors shut, then!”

    Manager: “You didn’t let me finish. We’re still taking our usual shipment of food as we’re opening this afternoon. However to prevent customers from getting in, and despite the fact that we already have signs posted everywhere, I asked my employee to stand at the door and warn the customers. Instead, you refused to listen to her and pushed her out of your way.”

    Customer: “Well… I didn’t realise you were closed! You really shouldn’t keep the doors open when you’re closed!” *storms off*

    Manager: *shaking his head* “How does she expect us to get the food in? Through the window?”

    Seeing Eye Dog

    | England, UK | Extra Stupid, Health & Body, Pets & Animals

    (I am serving on the counter of a small pharmacy on a busy Saturday. A middle aged lady approaches my desk.)

    Customer: “Hi. Can I get something for infected eyes, please?”

    Me: “Of course. When did the problems with your eyes begin?”

    Customer: “Oh, it’s not for me. It’s for my dog. His eyes looked really sore this morning!”

    Me: *slightly alarmed* “We don’t sell medicines for pets here, unfortunately. You would have to go a vet to get something for your dog.”

    Customer: “No, it’s fine. I give him human medicines all the time!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but I can’t sell you anything for your dog. I’m not allowed to do that, and what’s more, I wouldn’t want to cause him any harm.”

    Customer: “But… his eyes are the same size as human eyes!”

    Putting The Scent Into Ascents

    , | Edmonton, AB, Canada | Criminal/Illegal, Extra Stupid, Tourists/Travel

    (The x-ray operator sends me to search for an oversized liquid in a passenger’s carry on. She does the search required and finds an unopened bottle of 185 ml perfume.)

    Coworker: “Unfortunately, ma’am, this liquid is over the size limit and cannot go past this point.”

    Passenger: “That is not a liquid.”

    Coworker: “What is it, then?”

    Passenger: “It’s a scent.”

    Outside Voice, Waiting Outside

    | Canada | Bad Behavior, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Top, Wild & Unruly

    (I have just transferred down the road to another shop in our coffee chain, after the one I used to work at cut down on its employees. It is very busy. A man walks up to the drink counter, takes a drink, and walks away. All of a sudden, a customer who had been sitting at a table runs up towards one of my coworkers and starts yelling.)

    Customer: “I’ve been waiting and waiting and waiting and you f****** haven’t made my drink! This is f****** horrible service! I have a f****** meeting in a few minutes, and I need my f****** coffee!”

    Coworker: “Sorry, but the order list says that we did make your drink. Are you sure it’s not up there?” *gestures to the table full of drinks*

    Customer: “OF COURSE I’M SURE! I think that you’re f****** ignoring me! That or you drank my drink. B****, make me another drink or I’ll sue! This is s***** customer service. You should be f****** fired!”

    (At this point my coworker is at the verge of tears. She is new, and just old enough to get a job.)

    Me: “Excuse me, ma’am, but didn’t you do this at the other [Coffee Shop] down the street? I distinctly remember you yelling at us for not making your drink while your boyfriend waited outside with the exact same drink in his hand.”

    (Sure enough, when we looked out the window the same man was out there, holding the drink.)

    Customer: *turns beet red, stammers something, and runs off*

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