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    Category: Extra Stupid

    This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

    They’re Magically Cannibalicious!

    | Northern Ireland, UK | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Money

    (I work in a small store in Northern Ireland where we sell some American imports but for quite a bit more expensive prices.)

    Me: “That’ll be £6.95, ma’am.”

    Customer: “How dare you try to scam your customers?!”

    Me: “Excuse me?”

    Customer: “Selling Lucky Charms for seven dollars? That is preposterous. At home they are only two dollars in Target.”

    Me: “Well, ma’am, we do have to import them… This IS Northern Ireland.”

    Customer: “This is part of Ireland?”

    Me: “I guess you could say that.”

    Customer: “I’m so sorry! I didn’t think about how I might be offending you! Don’t worry this cereal isn’t really leprechauns. We wouldn’t eat your relatives!” *pays and leaves without cereal*

    (My manager got a call later that night saying that the cereal was for me and that she was very sorry for ‘acting like some sort of cannibal.’)

    Needs To Go To 911, 101

    | SC, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid

    Me: “911, what’s the address of your emergency?”

    Caller: “I need the number for the phone company.”

    Me: “Ma’am, this is 911. Do you have an emergency?”

    Caller: “I need the number for the phone company!”

    Me: “Okay, so just to clarify: you do not have an emergency at this time?”

    Caller: “No.”

    Me: “Okay, ma’am. Call me back at this number and I’ll see what I can do to help you.”

    (At this point I gave her the non-emergency number and she hung up. I grabbed the phone book while I waited on her to call back.)

    Me: “This is the [City] Police Department. How can I help you?”

    Caller: “Yes, I need the number for the phone company.”

    Me: “Okay, ma’am. I’ve got the phone book in front of me now. There are three numbers listed here, which do you need? I have one for billing, one for establishing service, and one for repairs.”

    Caller: “No! I need the number for the phone company that I can call and get someone else’s phone number.”

    Me: *pause* “Do you mean 411, ma’am?”

    Caller: “Yes! That’s it! Thanks!” *click*

    Closed To Reality

    | Paris, France | Bad Behavior, Extra Stupid

    (We are closed for inventory, and signs are informing the customers of that fact. Despite this, many people have tried to enter the store. Most of them just leave when they realise the door is locked.)

    Manager: *to me* “Okay, we’re going to take the shipment for this week. I need you to stand in the doors and tell customers we’re closed.”

    (I oblige. As the truck is unloading and some other of the employees are putting the food away in the freezer, a customer approaches. Note that I am wearing the store’s uniform, with a bright apron.)

    Me: “Hello, ma’am! I’m sorry but—”

    (Without listening, she tries to get around me. I move in front of her to prevent her from getting in, and keep trying to explain the situation to her. Frustrated, she pushes me to the side and I hit the wall. She then rushes inside. The manager sees her and runs after her, trying to stop her.)

    Manager: “Ma’am! Ma’am, we’re closed.”

    Customer: *looking around* “Closed? There are employees everywhere and the doors are open!”

    Manager: “We’re doing the inventory of the store, which is why the employees are here. However we’re not allowed to sell food as it would mess up our numbers.”

    Customer: “Well, you should keep the doors shut, then!”

    Manager: “You didn’t let me finish. We’re still taking our usual shipment of food as we’re opening this afternoon. However to prevent customers from getting in, and despite the fact that we already have signs posted everywhere, I asked my employee to stand at the door and warn the customers. Instead, you refused to listen to her and pushed her out of your way.”

    Customer: “Well… I didn’t realise you were closed! You really shouldn’t keep the doors open when you’re closed!” *storms off*

    Manager: *shaking his head* “How does she expect us to get the food in? Through the window?”

    Seeing Eye Dog

    | England, UK | Extra Stupid, Health & Body, Pets & Animals

    (I am serving on the counter of a small pharmacy on a busy Saturday. A middle aged lady approaches my desk.)

    Customer: “Hi. Can I get something for infected eyes, please?”

    Me: “Of course. When did the problems with your eyes begin?”

    Customer: “Oh, it’s not for me. It’s for my dog. His eyes looked really sore this morning!”

    Me: *slightly alarmed* “We don’t sell medicines for pets here, unfortunately. You would have to go a vet to get something for your dog.”

    Customer: “No, it’s fine. I give him human medicines all the time!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but I can’t sell you anything for your dog. I’m not allowed to do that, and what’s more, I wouldn’t want to cause him any harm.”

    Customer: “But… his eyes are the same size as human eyes!”

    Putting The Scent Into Ascents

    , | Edmonton, AB, Canada | Criminal/Illegal, Extra Stupid, Tourists/Travel

    (The x-ray operator sends me to search for an oversized liquid in a passenger’s carry on. She does the search required and finds an unopened bottle of 185 ml perfume.)

    Coworker: “Unfortunately, ma’am, this liquid is over the size limit and cannot go past this point.”

    Passenger: “That is not a liquid.”

    Coworker: “What is it, then?”

    Passenger: “It’s a scent.”

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