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    Category: Extra Stupid

    This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

    An Upside Downside To Christmas

    | Brisbane, QLD, Australia | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Holidays, Theme Of The Month

    (We sell Christmas-themed doughnuts. One looks like a Christmas tree, with a chocolate wafer stick as the trunk. On the display tray the trunk normally points towards the customer. I’ve just served someone who ordered one and changed their mind. I’ve hurriedly put it back, but the trunk is facing the wrong way, towards me.)

    Customer: “I want a tree, but do you have any that aren’t upside down?”

    Doesn’t Have A Glue

    | ON, Canada | Bizarre, Extra Stupid

    (We have bottles of hand sanitizer at the pick-up and drop off counters for customers to use if they please.)

    Me: “Hi. Can I help you?”

    Customer: “WHAT DID I JUST PUT ON MY HANDS?”

    Me: “Er, what?”

    Customer: *waving hands frantically* “What’s in that bottle? It’s not glue is it? My hands aren’t going to stick to my cart when I touch it?”

    Me: “No, ma’am. It’s just hand sanitizer.”

    Customer: “Oh, okay. Thanks! Have a good day!”

    (The customer leaves without getting anything from the dispensary.)

    Me: *to coworker* “Why the h*** would we have glue in squirt bottles?”

    Should Take A Brake From Driving

    | Kennewick, WA, USA | Extra Stupid, Family & Kids, Health & Body

    (Whenever we have a child that seems to be too short to ride the go-karts, we tell the parents we need to size them on one of the karts. Doing so with her mother watching over my shoulder, this little girl is barely too short to press the brake pedal hard enough.)

    Me: “I’m sorry. She’s not quite tall enough. She can reach the gas, but can’t press the brakes hard enough.”

    Mother: “So…?”

    Me: “I can’t let her ride.”

    Mother: “But she can press the pedals. Yes?”

    Me: “Yes, but she can’t press the brake pedal hard enough to engage it. It takes a bit of pressure.”

    Mother: “So why can’t she go? If she can press the pedals, then she can make the kart go.”

    Me: “Yes… but she couldn’t get the brakes to work.”

    Mother: “But she can go! So what if she doesn’t press the brakes enough?”

    Me: “…she won’t be able to slow or stop without them.”

    Mother: “Oh! That’s what that does?”

    Extra Small Minded

    | Calgary, AB, Canada | Bigotry, Extra Stupid

    (I work for a very well-known clothing store that caters to plus sized women. The smallest size is 14W. A very skinny woman walks into the store.)

    Me: “Hi, there! How can I help you today? Are you shopping for a gift?”

    Customer: “No. I am shopping for myself today.”

    Me: “Alright. Just so you know, we are a size 14+ store. We do have some nice accessories. May I help you find anything?”

    Customer: “No. I just want to look around.”

    (The customer wanders off. I start puttering around, cleaning some things, as we are slow. A few minutes later I notice her holding a top and wandering around looking a bit confused.)

    Me: “Hey. Is there anything I can help you find?”

    Customer: “Where are your smaller sizes?”

    Me: “I’m sorry. As I mentioned earlier the smallest size we carry is 14 wide, or extra large.”

    Customer: “But where are the SMALLER sizes?”

    Me: “Again, I’m sorry. We do not carry small sizes.”

    Customer: “Yes, yes. But where do you keep the smaller sizes?”

    Me: “Miss, I’m sorry. I don’t know how else to explain this to you. [Store] is plus-sized retail chain. We make clothes for women who look like me.”

    (I gesture to my size 24 figure. All of a sudden a look of realization comes into the woman’s eyes. She looks around as if seeing the other employees, customers, and myself for the first time.)

    Customer: “Wait. This is a store for FATTIES?”

    (The customer drops the shirt she’d been holding as if it’s going to burn her and storms out. I just stand there, totally stunned. A few customers shoot the skinny woman dirty looks.)

    Outdated And Outsmarted

    | Kent, England, UK | Extra Stupid, Holidays, Theme Of The Month

    (I’m doing a bit of Christmas shopping. I stop at a calendar stand in the middle of the shopping center, and start looking through the stock. I think nothing of two customers appearing next to me until they start talking.)

    Customer #1: “Are these calendars for next year?”

    Customer #2: “I don’t know. Check the date.”

    Customer #1: “I can’t see it.”

    Me: “Are you serious?”

    Customer #1: “Excuse me?”

    Me: “It’s the middle of December. The last month of the year. Why would anybody need to buy a calendar for this year?”

    Customer #2: “You can’t talk to my daughter like that! She’s not stupid!”

    Me: “With all due respect, I’m not the one questioning if calendars being sold in December are for next year.”

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