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    Category: Extra Stupid

    This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

    Underpinning Their Own Stupidity

    , | Sydney, NSW, Australia | Extra Stupid, Money

    (We aren’t allowed to know customer’s personal identification numbers (PIN). If they disclose it, we have to reissue a new one, blocking their current one and starting a seven day wait for a new one to be sent.)

    Me: “Okay, you’ll need your PIN to set up online banking. Without telling me what it is, can you tell me if you know your PIN?”

    Caller: “Why can’t I say my PIN?”

    Me: “It’s your secure PIN. You shouldn’t disclose it to anyone, not even me. If you do, I’m required to replace it. That will delay what you want to do today. So, please don’t tell me what it is. Do you know your PIN? Just yes or no will be fine.”

    Caller: “My PIN is 1234. I forbid you to replace it.”

    Me: “Ma’am, I asked you not to tell me, and I explained why. I have to replace it now. I am truly sorry. It will take up to seven business days for you to receive it by mail.”

    Caller: “DON’T YOU DARE! I NEED ONLINE BANKING TO WORK TODAY!”

    Me: “Ma’am, I did explain this. I also have no option. I’m now required to replace your PIN for security.”

    Caller: “But I need this set up today! It’s urgent!”

    Me: “Ma’am, you clearly understood me. Can I ask, why did you tell me your PIN after I asked you not to?”

    Caller: “I DON’T LIKE BEING TOLD WHAT TO DO!”

    The Most Confusing Meal Of The Day

    | Ireland | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Hotels & Lodging

    (I work in a call centre making reservations for a large hotel chain. A customer has just asked for a particular date in a particular hotel.)

    Me: “I have the standard room for $99, or bed and breakfast for $109. The superior room for $129—”

    Customer: “Wait! So the first two rooms are standard rooms?”

    Me: “Yes.”

    Customer: “So why is the one more expensive?”

    Me: “Well, room only is $99 and if you want breakfast included it is $109.”

    Customer: “I don’t understand.”

    Me: “If you want to eat breakfast in the morning it’s $10 more.”

    Customer: “I still don’t see why I would pay more for the same room!”

    Me: “You don’t pay more for the room, you pay the extra for the food. You can have just the room for $99 or the room and breakfast at the restaurant for $109.”

    Customer: “I just don’t understand why I should pay more.”

    Me: “I have no idea how else to explain this.”

    (She never made a booking. We were ‘too confusing.’)

    Common Knowledge Has Deserted You

    | San Antonio, TX, USA | Extra Stupid, Geography, History, Tourists/Travel

    (We get a lot of people from different countries or other states who know nothing about Texas.)

    Tourist: “So is the Alamo like out in the desert or something?”

    Me: “Oh, have ya’ll not been downtown yet? It’s pretty much smack dab in the middle of the city.”

    Tourist: “What do you mean?”

    Me: “It’s not like in the movie. The city has grown around it,. It’s actually one of the more boring missions that’s pretty much completely covered by urban sprawl. I you want to see more traditional missions you should try San Jose or the other ones in the National Park areas.”

    (They’re silent for awhile while I guess they’re having trouble with the term ‘missions.’)

    Tourist: “Where’s your desert, anyway?”

    Me: “Um… Like, 400 miles west of here?”

    Tourist: “So, we’re not in Texas yet?”

    Needs To Seriously Self Check Out Of Campus

    | NY, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, School

    (Customer #1 is in line ahead of Customer #2, and is buying a large amount of instant coffee, instant noodles, and candy.)

    Customer #1: “D***! This stupid credit card thing can’t read my card.”

    Clerk: “Try it again, sir, and move the card slowly and evenly.”

    Customer #1: “Nope! This f****** thing is broken.”

    Customer #2: “How’s studying for finals going?”

    Customer #1: “Uh… Not well. Why?”

    Customer #2: “Because you’re trying to pay with your student ID.”

    (Customer #1 stares at the card for a long time.)

    Customer #1: “I haven’t left campus in way too long.”

    Unbalanced Customer

    , | Baton Rouge, LA, USA | Extra Stupid, Family & Kids, Food & Drink

    (A lady comes up to my register with a child on her hip. The boy has to be at least two or three years old, plenty old enough to walk on his own. His mother orders several meals with bright red fruit punch, value sizing all of them.)

    Me: “Here are your drinks. The food will be out shortly. Shall I carry your tray for you?”

    Customer: “No, I’ve got it.”

    Me: “Are you sure? It’s kind of heavy and wobbly, especially with you holding your child in one arm. It’s not a problem at all.”

    Customer: “NO. I’VE. GOT. IT!”

    (I’m still not sure she can get it on her own, but there is nothing I can do at this point.)

    Me: “Okay. I’ll bring your food out when it’s ready.”

    (The customer walks off, and I wince as the tray wobbles unsteadily in her hand. I turn back to my work, but not a minute later there is a huge crash from the back of the dining room, near the entrance to the kiddie play area. My coworker and I rush over to see what is going on. With one hand still holding her son and the other balancing a tray of three 32 ounce drinks, the customer had attempted to open the door to the play area. The busted cups, along with all 96 ounces of fruit punch and ice, are splattered on the floor. Note that there is a large sign posted that bans food or drink from the play area.)

    Me: “Oh, I’m sorry. Your drinks are ruined. Why don’t you have a seat? I’ll get you some new ones?”

    Customer: “Okay. We’ll be in there.”

    (The customer attempts to step over the large mess and enter the play area.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but I’ll have to ask you to sit at a table. If you want to watch your kids, we have several right here by the glass wall looking into the playground.”

    Customer: “But I want to eat in THERE.”

    Me: “I understand, ma’am, but we ask that you don’t bring food or drinks in the play area. There aren’t any tables in there anyway, just two small benches.”

    (The customer continues to get more and more irate.)

    Customer: “But I want to eat in there!”

    Me: *firmly* “Ma’am, please have a seat. Your food will be out in just a minute, and we will get you new drinks. I cannot allow you to break the rules. It’s too easy for the carpet and equipment to get ruined if you spill while in the play area. You’ve already caused a hazard by trying to go inside with two full hands.”

    (While we are speaking, I have to physically catch one little girl who tries to run out the door and slips on the drinks. I also have to stop several other children from nearly having the same accident.)

    Customer: “FINE!”

    (The customer sighed loudly and stalked over to a table. When my coworker came back, I got him to watch the door so I could get towels and a mop. I spent the next five minutes on my hands and knees, cleaning up a mess that temporarily stained both of my hands bright red. I also had to keep an eye out that no children came through quickly and hurt themselves or me. Then I had to spend longer drying it to completely eliminate any chance of injury by anyone. The customer spent the entire time giving me one of the dirtiest glares I have ever seen.)

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