Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • Your Connection Is Totally Forked
    (2,105 thumbs up)
  • November Theme Of The Month: I Don't Work Here!
    Submit your story today!

    Category: Extra Stupid

    This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

    This Conversation Has No Cardinal Directions

    | ID, USA | Extra Stupid, Geography, Hotels & Lodging

    (In college, I worked for a large chain hotel that had several different locations, though each had a different title and some were owned by different companies. A customer calls me up for directions:)

    Customer: “Can you tell me why I’m at the Hotel Safari, not the Hotel Lodge?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, can you repeat that?”

    Customer: “I got off my plane at the airport, and the guy at [Car Rental Company] told me to go here, and it’s not the right hotel!”

    Me: “I apologize that happened to you. Can I give you directions to our hotel?”

    Customer: “I want you to explain how you let this happen.”

    Me: “I don’t… I don’t work for the car rental company. Someone sent you to the wrong hotel. I don’t know why they did that.”

    Customer: “You could have called them to make sure they know where your f****** hotel is!”

    Me: ” Would you like me to give you directions?”

    (After going back and forth for a few minutes, he finally agrees to let me give him directions.)

    Me: “So you’re still at the Hotel Safari, right?”

    Customer: “No, I’m driving around looking for your f****** hotel.”

    Me: “Can you tell me what street you’re on?”

    Customer: “Did you listen to what I’m saying, buddy? I’m not from here. I don’t know the streets.”

    Me: “Can you look at a street sign and tell me what it says?”

    Customer: *tells me the street name*

    Me: “Okay, I need you to go south, that will take you to the freeway on-ramp.”

    Customer: “Buddy, I am not from here! How am I supposed to know which way that is?”

    Me: “South is the same direction no matter what city you’re in.”

    Customer: “That’s not true.”

    (We argue about that, until I finally ask him where the setting sun is, on his right or on his left. We argue about the sun, too, until he tells me that it’s on his right.)

    Me: “So the sun sets in the west. If the setting sun is on your right, that means you’re facing south, and I just need you to drive the same direction you’re on down that street, and get on the freeway.”

    Customer: “Well how will I know where the freeway is?”

    Me: “Uh…” *I pause, not knowing how to phrase this without sounding rude*

    Customer: “Yeah, that’s a problem, isn’t it, buddy?”

    Me: “No, I’m just wondering if you’ve ever seen a freeway before.”

    (He insists that I stay on the phone with him and navigate him all the way to the hotel. Finally, he gets in the door, and is just as snippy as I ask him to fill out the guest information form and sign his name.)

    Customer: “I didn’t mean to be rude with you, but you have to realize I’m not from here.”

    Me: “I apologize. No one ever taught me how to give directions without using street names or cardinal directions.”

    (He started to get angry, and then realized I have a point. He took his keys and went to his room, and I never heard from him again.)

    When Pinot Means No

    | Sonoma, CA, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (Sometimes, the wineries in the Valley join up for a tasting event. People can buy a ticket, get a special wine glass and get to travel to different wineries and get free tastings of specific wines.)

    Me: “Hello, welcome to [Winery]. May I pour you a sample?”

    Guest: “What do you have?”

    Me: “I have the 2007 Merlot and the 2010 Chardonnay.”

    Guest: “Can I have a Pinot Noir?”

    Me: “I have Merlot and Chardonnay.”

    Guest: “You don’t have a Pinot.”

    Me: “No, I do not.”

    Guest: “Do you have a Pinot?”

    Me: “Yes, we do, although, the Pinot is not being offered for this specific tasting. However, if you’d like to taste the Pinot, you are more than welcome to visit the tasting room upstairs and try it out. Unfortunately, it won’t be complementary.”

    Guest: “Oh, never mind… What do you have again?”

    Me: “I have the 2007 Merlot, and the 2010 Chardonnay.”

    Guest: “I’d like to taste the Cabernet.”

    Differing Degrees Of Snobbery

    | Memphis, TN, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, School

    (I’m a cashier at a small, high-end grocery store. One day, towards the end of my shift, a middle aged man and a girl, around 11 or 12, walk up. Note that I appear around five years younger than I actually am and took the cashier job out of necessity.)

    Me: “That’ll be $25.62, sir.”

    Customer: *ignoring the other customers waiting behind him* “Are you in school?”

    Me: “I… excuse me?”

    Customer: “Are. You. In. School?”

    Me: “Well, no, I already—”

    Customer: *talking to the girl* “See, this is why you gotta study hard! I don’t want you working some crap job because you didn’t go to college.”

    Me: “Um, sir? That’ll be $25.62.”

    Customer: *slams $30 into my hand*

    (I get his change and hand it to him along with his receipt. As the next person in line starts putting their items onto the counter, he stands in place and starts counting his change.)

    Customer: “You shorted me.”

    Me: “Oh, I’m sorry. How much did I give you?”

    Customer: “This is why you have to work a crap job like this! Because you can’t even count right!”

    Me: “Sir, I need to see how much I gave you so I can give you the right amount.”

    Customer: “You gave me $4.38.”

    Me: “…that’s right. It should be on your receipt.”

    Customer: “No, I need a five.”

    (I print out another copy of his receipt and show him that his change was correct. He stands there and argues with me, so I call over the manager to talk to him. The conversation takes a while, so when my next customers are done, I stroll over.)

    Manager: “I don’t know how else to tell you… that IS the amount you’re owed.”

    Customer: “No, it’s basic math! Can’t anyone here do basic math?”

    Me: “Here.” *I pull out my phone and show him on its calculator* “It all adds up to $30.”

    Customer: “What do you know?! You didn’t even go to school!”

    Manager: “I thought you went to [Well Known Private College]?”

    Me: “I did. I have a bachelor’s from there.”

    Customer: *stunned* “What? How? You’re a kid.”

    Me: “I’m 25, sir.”

    Customer: “Why didn’t you say so! I guess it’s okay, then.”

    (He and the girl finally exit.)

    Manager: “…that’s the kind of man who gives his credit card number to a prince of Nigeria.”

    Charged With Stupid Indignation

    | Port St Lucie, FL, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Money, Theme Of The Month

    (A customer presents two coupons, both for large sandwiches.)

    Customer: “Can I use these both?”

    Me: “Yes, ma’am.”

    Customer: “Okay can I get a [Sandwich #1] and a [Sandwich #2]. But I want extra lettuce, tomato, and sauce on that one. And can I get one fish sandwich?”

    Me: “Sure, just let me take these two coupons off for you, okay?”

    (I give her the two free sandwiches so she’s only paying for one.)

    Customer: “All right, that sounds good to me!”

    (Her order is finished, she has the bag, her coupons were taken off, everything seems perfect. But of course, it isn’t.)

    Customer: “Ma’am?”

    Me: “Yes, ma’am. Is there something wrong here?”

    Customer: “Well, yeah, you charged me for two sandwiches.”

    Me: *checks the receipt* “The only sandwich you paid for was the one with extra toppings. They came to a little more, but I assure you, you only paid for one of the three.”

    Customer: “No, you charged me. Look here.” *points to the one sandwich she paid for*

    Me: “Yes, I charged you for that sandwich. But where it says ’1P,’ means it was free. There is one on the [Sandwich #1] and one on the fish.”

    Customer: “But you charged me for two sandwiches.”

    Me: *speaks a little slower* “The 1P next to the sandwiches make them $0. Free. You have two free sandwiches. Two.”

    Customer: “Ma’am. You charged me for two.”

    (I wanted to bash my head into the register. Finally after about six minutes, she finally understood that I only charged for one sandwich, and then left happily.)

    They Won’t Stop For Muffin

    | Montreal, QC, Canada | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (I’m a cook working the breakfast shift. I notice two women sitting at the bar arguing with the waitress. We no longer serve bagels due to lack of sales and a high volume of losses, this being specified on the menu.)

    Customer #1: “So, do you guys serve like bagel sandwiches. You know like the ones at [Popular Chain Restaurant]?”

    Waitress: “I’m sorry, but those are not offered on the menu.”

    Customer #2: “But you can make it right?”

    Waitress: “Is it on the menu?”

    Customer #2: “No, but can you?”

    Waitress: “It’s not on the menu, so I”ll have to say no.”

    Customer #2: “You do make breakfast sandwiches though?”

    Waitress: “Well, that is on the menu so yes.”

    Customer #1: “Okay, so we’ll take the English muffin.”

    Waitress: “Okay.”

    Customer #1: “But I want to switch the ham for bacon.”

    Waitress: “We can do that.”

    Customer #1: “I’ll also want lettuce and tomato in it.”

    Customer #2: “At the same time we’d like to switch the English muffin for a bagel.”

    Page 8/223First...678910...Last