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    Category: Extra Stupid

    This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

    Comic: To Be, Or Not To Jolibee

    , , | Quezon City | At The Checkout, Comics, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    not always right jollibee

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    Needs A Room For Improvement

    | Laughlin, NV, USA | Extra Stupid, Hotels & Lodging, Wild & Unruly

    (I work in a hotel/casino on graveyard and I am all alone on a busy night. One guest at the end of the line is obviously very upset as she has to wait for about 15 minutes. Another guest, one of our VIPs I’d checked in earlier, walks up and the guest tells her she is been waiting for over an hour and it takes me 30+ minutes to check in one person. The VIP guest defends me, further aggravating the guest.)

    Me: “Hi. Sorry for the wait. What can I do for you?”

    Guest: “It’s about d*** time! I’ve been waiting over an hour and all I need is a f****** room key!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. As you can see, I’m all alone tonight—”

    Guest: “I don’t care if you’re alone! You should have more people here, then! It’s not my fault if you’re understaffed! I just want a f****** key!”

    Me: “Once again, I’m sorry for the wait. Now what is your room number so I can make you a new key?”

    Guest: “I don’t know! 17-something-something.”

    Me: “Do you have your ID?”

    Guest: “You’ve gotta be f****** kidding me!” *flashes her ID from her wallet* “What’s taking so long?! All I need is a f****** key!”

    Me: “Ma’am, I’m having a hard time finding you in the system. Is there some other name it could be under?”

    Guest: “What? NO! It would be under my name!”

    Me: “Are you sure you’re in the right hotel?”

    Guest: *obviously unsure of herself* “Yeah. Well, I’m pretty sure…”

    Me: “Are you sure you’re not at [Hotel Next Door]?”

    (The guest stomps off without a word, embarrassed.)

    VIP Guest: “She made all that fuss and wasn’t even in the right hotel? She should probably stop drinking.”

    Making Them Sleep With The Fishes

    | AB, Canada | Extra Stupid, Pets & Animals

    Me: *answering phone* “Hi. Welcome to [Pet Store], where pets are family. How may I help you today?”

    Caller: “Hello, I’m looking to return a fish that I bought yesterday. He is dead now.”

    (She seems a little slow, and mumbles at the same time, so I just assume that she is embarrassed by the fact that the fish died so quickly.)

    Me: “Of course we can. Just as long as you bring in the receipt, and the body of the fish, we can exchange it. No problem.”

    Caller: “Oh. Okay. That’s good.”

    Me: “Was that everything today?”

    Caller: “I was wondering if it was my fault.”

    Me: “Sorry? Do you mean if it was your fault if the fish died? I am sure that it wasn’t your fault. These things happen.”

    Caller: “Well, was it my fault when I hit him on the head with a spoon?”

    Me: “Excuse me? Why would you do that?”

    Caller: “Well, he wasn’t going to sleep so I hit him on a head with a spoon. So he would sleep.”

    Me: “That’s… not how it works.”

    Caller: “Oh. Well. I’ll come for my other fish now.” *click*

    The Joke Is Invisible To Him

    | Adelaide, SA, Australia | Extra Stupid, Theme Of The Month

    (After seeing a funny image online, I decided to replicate it in our store. I hung up an empty clothes hanger from our art smocks behind the counter with a large sign reading ‘Invisible Cloaks, half price!’ Two teenage customers come up to the counter.)

    Customer #1: *excitedly* “Hey! Is that a real invisibility cloak?”

    Customer #2: *sarcastic* “Yes, it is.”

    Me: *grinning ear to ear* “Sure is!”

    Customer #1: “Why’s it half price?”

    Customer #2: *incredulously looks at [Customer #1]*

    Me: “Well, it’s slightly damaged on the hem.” *holds up imaginary edge* “See?”

    Customer #1: “No? Where?”

    Customer #2: “Are you for real?!”

    Me: *bursts out laughing*

    Customer #1: “What?”

    (We stand looking at him for a good 10 seconds as the cogs turn.)

    Customer #1: “OH!”

    Think Before You Ink

    | ACT, Australia | Extra Stupid, Health & Body

    Me: “Hi! How can I help you today?”

    Customer: “I’m looking for plain black drawing ink. I want the best quality you have here.”

    Me: “Wonderful! We have [Good Brand] here, and we have it in plain black as well. These are the most popular inks we sell as they are of such good quality. Are you working on a project?”

    Customer: “Oh, well, kind of. I am going to give myself a tattoo tonight! This should do the trick.”

    (Shocked, and thankful to myself that I asked, I suddenly stop putting my thoughts together as to what to say next and just blurt out the first thing that falls out of my mouth out of feeling the urgency of the situation.)

    Me: “Yes, it should do the trick if you WANT TO DIE! THIS IS NOT TATTOO INK, MA’AM. It will KILL you, like DEAD, if you use it in your skin! Please DON’T use this for tattoos! It’s for art and craft projects only!”

    Customer: *taken aback and gasps* “Oh, my gosh! I had no idea! I just thought ink was ink! So glad you asked. You saved my life! Thank you!”

    (After explaining to her where she could look into purchasing tattoo ink and recommending she also look into the best tattoo artists in town, as well as carefully putting into less-stressed words about why you don’t use drawing inks for tattoos, she leaves, white as a ghost but very thankful.)

    Coworker: “And that just happened… Lucky you asked what the ink was for!”

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