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    Category: Extra Stupid

    This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

    Some Stupidity Is A Hard Nut To Crack

    | NJ, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (After serving a very difficult table, I am happy they are on dessert and leaving soon. As I go up to hand them the check:)

    Customer: *as she literally spits out the mouthful* “Oh, my God, are there nuts in here?! I can’t eat nuts! They will break my teeth!”

    Me: “Yes, ma’am, you ordered NUTS OVER CARAMEL ice cream.”

    Customer: “I just thought that was the name of it. Why are there nuts in it?!”

    Don’t Read, And Pay The Price

    | Moncton, NB, Canada | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Language & Words

    (Our policy is, and has always been, that 30-days notice is required to cancel any service; this is clearly noted on all customer bills.)

    Customer: “Why am I being charged an extra 30 days for service I didn’t use?”

    Me: “Sir, you called on March 21 and requested that the account be closed on the 30th.”

    Customer: “So?”

    Me: “Well, 30 days’ notice is required to cancel any service. It’s indicated on every bill you receive—”

    Customer: “What? You expect me to read?!”

    Knocked Back By An Explosion Of Ignorance

    | MN, USA | Extra Stupid, Family & Kids, Transportation

    (Obviously at a gas station, most people know that gas is flammable and it’s dangerous to leave your car running while pumping gas. When we see a car running we are supposed to shut off the pump and tell them to turn off their vehicles so they can resume fueling the vehicle. Most do it; some fought about it.)

    Me: *shut off a pump and talk over the intercom* “Ma’am, on pump nine, in the black car, can you please turn off your vehicle so I can restart the pump?”

    (I watch the customer continue to try and pump gas, ignoring me. I tell her two more times to turn off the car before she finally hangs up the pump and comes in.)

    Customer: “I have pump nine. $2.83. And I couldn’t turn off my car because I had my kid in there.”

    Me: “It’s the law, ma’am. Your kid won’t freeze in the few minutes the car is turned off. If I had let you continue you could have possibly blown up the place and it wouldn’t have mattered if your kid was in the car.”

    Customer: “I’ve never heard of such a thing in my life.”

    Me: “It happened not too long ago at [Nearby City].”

    Customer: “That’s bulls***. I’m never going to stop here again.”

    Me: “That’s fine with me, ma’am. I’d like to keeping living and not get blown up by ignorant people such as yourself. Have a nice day.”

    Comment On Scents Makes No Sense

    | Toronto, ON, Canada | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (I work as a server in a restaurant with an open kitchen. A customer approaches me while I am walking towards the dish pit.)

    Customer: “Hello, ma’am. I loved the food but I have a complaint.”

    Me: “Oh, I’m sorry. What seems to be the problem?”

    Customer: “It smells a lot.”

    Me: “What does it smell like, sir?”

    Customer: “Food.”

    (At this point I have no idea what to say.)

    Me: “Sorry, sir. Did you say it smells like food?”

    Customer: “Yes. My lady friends are complaining that their hair is going to smell like food. They just washed it.”

    Me: “Sir, you do know, it is an open kitchen restaurant…”

    Customer: “What do you mean, open kitchen? God, you’re so stupid. Of course it’s an open kitchen. You’re serving food! The people they hire these days…”

    Praying The Layaway Away

    | Taylor, MI, USA | Criminal/Illegal, Extra Stupid, Money

    (I work in a layaway service that has the option to cancel your layaway anytime you want.)

    Customer: “Hi, I just need to do a couple things today. I want to make a regular payment on one and pay the other one off.”

    Me: “Okay, I just need to see your ID. Do you want to do the payment first?”

    Customer: “I want to cancel one and take both out.”

    Me: *thinking I misheard* “Oh, sorry. I thought you wanted to make a payment and pay one off.”

    Customer: “No. I’m not making a payment, but I’m taking both out.”

    Me: “…I’m sorry? So you don’t want to cancel?”

    Customer: “No, I do want to cancel one! I want them both right now though!”

    Me: “So, you want me to take the one layaway out so you can buy it up front?”

    Customer: “No, what? I want my things, but I want my refund, too.”

    Me: “… Ma’am, if I’m hearing you right, I can’t give you your items if you don’t pay for it. You need to pay it off first.”

    Customer: “No one would have to know though, right? Just put it through as a refund and give me my stuff and my money. You’re going to be taking it out anyway. It’s easy.”

    Me: “… I can’t do that. That would be stealing.”

    Customer: “But I picked out the stuff myself! Whatever. I’ll come back later when someone actually WANTS to help me. You get confused too easy!”

    (She then walked off. Turned out she did try to come back and ask for a ‘refund,’ but was quickly taken care of by security when she began to throw a fit over ‘poor service!’)

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