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    Category: Extra Stupid

    This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

    The Art Of Listening Is Out Of Print

    | Sacramento, CA, USA | Bizarre, Extra Stupid

    (A customer approaches me, holding a USB drive.)

    Me: “Hello! Got some printing to do today, I see. From your USB drive, there?”

    Customer: “Hello! I need to print something from my USB drive!”

    (I assume she didn’t hear all of what I said, hence repeating the bit about the USB drive, and continue.)

    Me: “Alrighty, no worries! We’ll go over to the PC here and print. Will it be black and white, or color printing?”

    Customer: “Black and white, and then I need to fax the pages.”

    Me: “Sure thing! I’ll print them for you, and then you can use our self-serve fax machine by the wall there.”

    Customer: “Okay!”

    (The customer accepts her copies, and then continues to stand and look at me.)

    Me: “So, you’re all set! Here’s your USB drive back.”

    Customer: “I need to fax these.”

    (By now I’m beginning to notice a trend. Apparently the customer doesn’t pay any attention to what I’m saying even when she’s asked a question.)

    Me: “The fax machine is self-serve, ma’am, and it’s by that wall there. We also keep pens by the fax machine if you need to use one.”

    Customer: “Oh, okay! But… have you got a pen I can borrow?”

    (I repeat myself. Again.)

    Me: “Ma’am, the pens are next to the fax machine which is by that wall. Just walk right down this counter and you’ll see the machine.”

    (The customer sends her fax, then comes back to pay.)

    Customer: “Can I check out here?”

    Me: “Sure! Your total today is [price].”

    (Just to be safe, I rephrase the total and repeat it to her, given how much attention she paid to everything I said before.)

    Me: “That’s [total].”

    (The customer puts her purse on the counter and rummages around a minute.)

    Customer: “Wait, how much did you say it was?”

    Selling Out Is Selling Out

    | OH, USA | Awesome Customers, Bizarre, Extra Stupid

    (I work in an electronics store that has been having a huge sale on TVs. One customer calls asking about a model that we just sold out of.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir. We’re sold out of that model right now.”

    Caller: “Oh, that’s too bad.”

    (At this point I hear a noise in the background. It sounded like someone shouting.)

    Background: “What’s wrong?”

    Caller: “They don’t have any.”

    Background: “Why not? It’s in the ad!”

    Caller: “They sold out.”

    Background: “What?! Why did they do that?”

    Caller: “Why did the- What?”

    (He makes several noises, as if he’s struggling to understand her question. He apparently fails.)

    Background: “Why did they sell them all?”

    Caller: “Seriously? That’s what they DO! They sell things!”

    Background: “ALL of them?”

    Caller: “YES!”

    Background: “Well, that doesn’t make any sense!”

    (This goes on for another 10 MINUTES, and I am unable to will myself to hang up. Three coworkers and two managers have also picked up the line and listen as well, before the call abruptly drops, much to everyone’s disappointment.)

    Not Noteworthy Enough For A Return

    | Montreal, QC, Canada | At The Checkout, Criminal/Illegal, Extra Stupid, Liars & Scammers, Money

    (I work as a cashier in a drugstore. I see a customer come in the front door empty handed as he goes to the back of the store. He comes to me with a pricey protein pack.)

    Customer: “I want my money back for that protein pack. It’s $60.”

    Me: “Do you have your invoice?”

    Customer: “No, I forgot it at home.”

    Me: “I can’t pay you back.”

    Customer: “Keep it for me. I’ll be back in a few minutes.”

    (The customer comes back 15 minutes later.)

    Customer: “I didn’t find the receipt, but I’m going to buy it instead.”

    Me: “It’s going to cost $60.”

    (The customer hands me a $100 bill.)

    Me: “I can’t accept that. It’s a fake.”

    Customer: “No, I’m sure it’s real. How can you tell?”

    Me: “You only printed it on one side, and it’s black and white.”

    Taking The Credit And The Blame

    | Sydney, NSW, Australia | Extra Stupid, Money, Technology

    (I work in a newsagent that sells prepaid credit for mobile phones. The computer that prints out an individualised code to redeem the credit is unable to perform refunds so it is important that our staff triple checks the transaction before we hit the final OKAY. Sometimes customers would find this a little irritating. It was especially important because two of the different phone companies you could buy credit with had similar names. One was one of the major phone companies in Australia, the other very rarely purchased.)

    Me: “Sir, I would just like to confirm that you would like to purchase $30 credit to use with your [Less Popular Brand] phone company.”

    Customer: “For the last time, yes. How many times do you have to ask me?”

    Me: “I do apologise, sir, but we are required to ask twice per transaction because I cannot give you a refund if you change your mind. I have asked you a third time to be extra careful because you have ordered the [Less Popular Brand] which people often misread as the [Popular Brand] one.”

    Customer: “It is absolutely right. It is 100% definitely the [Less Popular Brand].”

    (I complete the transaction and wish him a wonderful afternoon with a large grin, despite his grumpy attitude. Half an hour later, he storms back into the store, demanding to talk to my manager.)

    Customer: “This d*** b**** sold me the wrong f****** credit! I want a refund! I am going to buy my credit card from the other f****** newsagent in the shopping centre!”

    (He continued to rant for another ten minutes before my manager realised it wasn’t worth the hassle and gave him a refund. Note: he did go to the other newsagent to buy his phone credit but I don’t think he realised it was the same franchise, with the same owners.)

    Free Of Gluten, Free Of Thought, Part 3

    | Cleveland, OH, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Health & Body

    (Most of the products in our bakery are dusted with flour. I am running the register when a customer walks up with a dusted loaf of bread.)

    Customer: “I wanted to ask: what is this white powder on the bread?”

    Me: “It’s just flour, ma’am.”

    Customer: “Oh, then I can’t buy this then.”

    Me: “Why not?”

    Customer: “I’m buying this for my daughter, and she can’t eat gluten. Don’t you know? Flour has gluten in it.”

    Related:
    Free Of Gluten, Free Of Thought, Part 2
    Free Of Gluten, Free Of Thought


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