November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

Category: Extra Stupid

This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

His Head Is In The Clouds

| ON, Canada | Extra Stupid, Tourists/Travel

Me: “Do you have Airmiles?”

Customer:“No. How much is it?”

Me: “It’s [price].”

Customer: “Wait, what did you ask me?”

Me: “If you had Airmiles.”

Customer: “Oh. Yes, I have Aeroplan.”

Me: “Um, no, I asked for Airmiles.”

Customer: “Oh. Okay. Wait. What?”

Me: “I asked if you had Airmiles.”

Customer: “Yes, I have Aeroplan.”

Me: “No, that’s something different.”

Customer: “Right. How much is it?”

Me: “[Price].”

Customer: “Yes, and I have Aeroplan.”

Me: “We don’t take Aeroplan.”

Customer: “What did you ask for, then?”

Me: “…Airmiles.”

Customer: “Yes, I have Aeroplan.”

Me: “I didn’t ask for Aeroplan; I said Airmiles. They’re two different rewards cards.”

Customer: “But I don’t have Airmiles.”

Me: “Okay.”

Customer: “So… can you take my Aeroplan card?”

Me: “…No.”

Keeping Themselves In The Dark

| Brighton, England, UK | Bad Behavior, Extra Stupid

(Due to heavy rainfall we’ve had a few leaks at the back of the shop which has caused the back area’s lighting to short out. Unfortunately, head office won’t allow us to close so we have to make sure all customers are careful. Everyone is warning customers about the back of the shop being dark as they come in. A man walks in and I greet him.)

Me: “Hello there. Just so you know, the back of the shop is a little dark at the moment as our lighting isn’t working. Please be careful.”

Man: *barely acknowledges me*

(A few minutes later the man comes back to the till with a grumpy look on his face.)

Man: “Excuse me; it’s very dark at the back of your shop! Somebody could have an accident. You really should get it sorted!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, our lighting isn’t working at the moment due to some leaks in the heavy rain. We’re hoping to get it fixed as soon as possible.”

Man: “Well, you should at least warn people about it!”

Me: “…”

Not Sue-table

| Cayman Islands | Criminal/Illegal, Extra Stupid

(My company lists our toll free number on all the domains we are selling; hence, we get a lot of confused calls. Our reception teams mostly take care of that problem. However, sometimes few will slip through the crack and get a hold of me.)

Me: “Hello, this is [My Name]; how can I assist you?”

Caller #1: “What is your fax number?”

Me: “What domain is this related to sir?”

Caller #1: “Are you going to give me your fax or not? Or should I just see you in court?”

Me: *pause* “Here is my fax number.” *gives it* “What is this regarding to?”

Caller #1: “We are suing you for infringement and stealing our website.”

Me: “We are a brokerage firm. We don’t own anything or would need to steal. We represent clients who owns domains.”

Caller #1: “Yeah. Whatever.”

(He hangs up. Ten minutes later I receive a fax. He claims we stole his website and is running it under his name. I call back from the number shown in the fax.)

Me: “This is [My Name] from [Company]. I have received a fax from a gentlemen from your company. I realize the domain mentioned in the letter is owned by your own company.”

Caller #2: “Yes. That was [Caller #1]. He has left the office. I am the director of the company. Are you going to stop stealing our website or do we need to see you in court?”

Me: “Sir, after reading the fax, the website name is owned by you and is redirected to your company. Effectively, you are trying to sue yourself.”

(I can hear a lot of typing in the background.)

Caller #2: “Oh! I guess our tech team must have bought this without us knowing.” *long pause* “I am sorry; we should have looked into it.”

Me: “I think I just saved you a whole lot of lawyer cost and embarrassment.”

Caller #2: “Yeah, [Caller #1] is an idiot sometimes. Thank you again.”

(I passed that fax around the office, and now it’s pinned on the fridge in our company kitchen.)

Wireless, Clueless, And Hopeless, Part 21

| USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

(An old woman walks up to my repair bench holding a large, older desktop tower.)

Me: “Hello there! How can I help you today?”

Customer: “I’m having problems with my computer.”

Me: “That’s never fun. What seems to be the issue?”

Customer: “I can’t connect my wireless mouse. I put it in the slot but it still doesn’t work.”

(I’m thinking this will be easy enough; maybe the adaptor is faulty. As I move the computer closer to me, however, I notice a loud rattling sound within the case, as if something has come loose.)

Me: “Well, it seems as if the USB ports are functioning fine. Do you have the mouse and adaptor with you?”

Customer: “I didn’t bring the mouse, and the adaptor thing is inside the computer.”

Me: *checking all USB ports* “I’m sorry ma’am, but nothing is plugged in. Would you want to try another mouse?”

Customer: *getting angry* “The adaptor is INSIDE the COMPUTER.”

Me: *suddenly realizing* “Ma’am… do you mean to tell me… the adaptor is inside the case?”

Customer: *now very angry* “OF COURSE it is INSIDE of the computer. I put it in the slot at the top like a coin machine, so WHY isn’t it WORKING?!”

Me: *looking at the top of the computer where there is a small hole just big enough to fit small objects inside* “Ma’am… that’s… that’s not how this works…”

Customer: *cutting me off* “ARE you KIDDING ME? Do you not know how computers work? I’m going somewhere else where the employees actually KNOW how to operate a computer!”

(She leaves, her computer rattling off into the distance.)

Coworker: “I’m not sure where she’s going but she’s not going to have much luck anywhere else.”

Wireless, Clueless, And Hopeless, Part 20
Wireless, Clueless, And Hopeless, Part 19
Wireless, Clueless, And Hopeless, Part 18

Far Away From The Solution

| MD, USA | Extra Stupid, Geography, Technology

(I work in the IT Help Desk at a university.)

Me: “I’m sorry, you’re really far away from the microphone. I can’t hear you. Please repeat the info.”

Caller: *repeats info*

Me: “I just cannot hear you. You’re really far away.”

Caller: “Well, yeah, it’s a Skype call and I’m in Ireland, so of course it’s far away.”

Me: “…”