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    Category: Extra Stupid

    This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

    A Real Crappy Photoshop Job

    | Las Vegas, NV, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Technology

    Customer: “Can you remove this person—” *indicates one child right in the middle of a family photo* “—from this photo? Oh, and be careful, there was a dog taking a fat s*** behind him. If you can see it, remove it, too.”

    Having Beef With Telling Porkies

    | OH, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    Customer: “I’d like a pound of chipped beef.”

    Me: “So a pound of roast beef chipped?”

    Customer: “No, chipped beef.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, we only have roast beef and corned beef.”

    (The lady dismisses me, and then scans our meat selection.)

    Customer: “Here! Chopped ham! That’s what I’m looking for.”

    Me: *surprised* “Oh, I thought you were looking for chipped beef.”

    Customer: “That’s what that is. You take the chopped ham and chip it, and then it becomes chipped beef!”

    A Hot Slice Of Justice

    , | Grimes, IA, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (We’re getting pretty close to closing time. We’ve barely had any orders today. I’m working the kitchen with two others. Everything’s been cleaned and there’s nothing to do until another order comes in, when suddenly a customer comes storming into the store, shouting things exceptionally hard to understand, and possibly drunk.)

    Me: “Oh, lord, here we go…”

    Customer: “Where’s the kitchen guy! I WANT TO SEE THE KI—”

    Me: “Right here. You can stop yelling now. I can hear you.”

    Customer: *does actually stop yelling, probably because he had to look up to me* “Where the f*** is my pizza? I ordered a pizza over an hour ago. Now, where is it?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir, I don’t know what you’re talking about. We haven’t—”

    Customer: “WHERE IS MY ORDER!? I DEMAND TO SPEAK TO YOUR MANAGER!”

    Me: “Well, the manager is asleep. If you want, I can go back there and see if we have your order.”

    Customer: “Yeah, you do that. I want my free f****** pizza!”

    (He gives his name and address. I go to where we keep the order slips.)

    Me: “Sir, there’s no slip under either of those.”

    Customer: “WHERE IS MY GOD-D*** PIZZA! I ORDERED A PIZZA FROM THIS STORE!”

    Coworker: “Hey, why don’t you call again?”

    Customer: “What?”

    Coworker: “If you did call this store, and we took your order, it was never filled. Go ahead and call the number again. If the phone rings, we’ll give you a free pizza.”

    (He whipped out his phone, mashing the buttons until he got to the recent calls, and called the store. Our phone didn’t ring, but somebody on the other end picked up. He had placed an order at the store on the other side of town. The customer shoved his phone in his pocket and stormed out of the store without a word.)

    Gallons Of Stupidity

    | CA, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (I work at a well known grocery store, mainly working to direct searching customers to their desired products. I am walking down the dairy aisle. I spot two teenagers waiting for a time. The first customer is holding cartons of milk in his hands, and the second customer is holding out a smart phone.)

    Me: “Do you two need any help right now?”

    Customer #1: “Actually… um, yeah…”

    (Customer #1 suddenly nods to Customer #2, who raises his smartphone. I can hear the sound from his that signals the record button being pressed. At this point, I’m starting to catch on that this is a gallon smashing prank.)

    Customer #1: “Woah, woah, woah!”

    (He badly acts that he’s accidentally falling, and tosses the containers of milk into the sky, and he falls flat on his back. The cartons hit the floor, but don’t shatter or release milk.)

    Customer #2: “Crap!”

    Customer #1: “We need to redo that!”

    (I’m just standing in amazement about how bad these two are at pranking someone.)

    Me: “Sir, if you keep intentionally keep damaging our products, I’ll have to ask you to leave.”

    Customer #1: “It was an accident! I just slipped!”

    Me: “What about your friend over there recording?”

    Customer #2: “I’m just… taking a selfie!”

    (I start rolling my eyes, and go to pick up the cartons of milk. Out of nowhere, Customer #1 grabs the cartons of milk off the floor and tosses them up again. Again, nothing happens as they hit the floor.)

    Customer #2: “S***! We need another take!”

    Customer #1: “C’mon, just let us have one more try?”

    Me: “No. Get out of this store now, or I’ll call security for multiple attempts of destruction of property.”

    (The two teenagers quickly scurry out of the store, Customer #1 even tripping once during the way out.)

    Coworker: “Did those two try to do a gallon prank with cartons?”

    Me: “The world may never know.”

    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 35

    | USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Money

    (As an employee at the store I work at, it is part of my job to ask our customers if they’d like to apply for a store credit card. A customer in her twenties comes through my line.)

    Me: “Would you like to save [percent] by applying for a [Store] charge card?”

    Customer: “Sure!”

    (The applications go through our computer and the customer is immediately approved and a paper prints out with the credit limit and card number.)

    Me: “Okay, it looks like you were approved today! You should get your [Store] card in the mail within the next two weeks. If you would like to put your purchase on your card today, it would save you another [percent]. Would you like to put it on the card? You can even pay it off in the store after we’re done.”

    Customer: “Sure.”

    (We put the purchase on the card and everything goes smoothly until the end.)

    Me: “Okay, and would you like to pay your card off today or would you like to wait until you get your statement in the mail?”

    Customer: “What? I have to pay for it twice?”

    Me: “No, you haven’t actually paid for it yet. You put it on the store charge card.”

    Customer: “Yeah, so why do I have to pay for it again?”

    Me: “The store charge card is just like any other credit card. It has to be paid for after you use it.”

    Customer: “What’s a credit card?”

    Related:
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 34
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 33
    This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 32

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