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    Category: Extra Stupid

    This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

    Give It More Than Half A Thought

    | Aberystwyth, Wales, UK | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Math & Science

    (I work in a small corner shop in my university town. I was serving behind the till when a man came up with bin bags, that I wasn’t aware were on a special offer until I scanned them through the till. The following conversation took place when I realised this.)

    Me: “Oh, sir, these bin bags are two for £1.20. Would you like to take another?’

    Customer: “No. You see, I need double strength bags for heavy duty waste, so I only buy ten, because if I bought twenty they’d only be half strength.”

    Wipe And Gripe

    | Kansas City, MO, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

    (I am on my way to the bathroom when a student stops me. She’s on one of our computers. All of our computers are available to the public.)

    Student: “Hey! Where’s my stuff!?”

    Me: “I’m sorry?”

    Student: “I saved my stuff on here and it’s gone!”

    Me: *shocked* “Ma’am, that’s a public computer. They wipe them fairly often.”

    Student: “Other people’s stuff is on it and mine isn’t! I want my stuff!”

    Me: *attempts to see if I can find her ‘stuff’*

    Student: “I had my resume on here and everything!”

    Me: “As I said, ma’am, these are public computers. Even if it hadn’t been wiped, any person can come in and delete files that are saved on here.”

    Student: “Well, that’s just stupid!”

    I’ll Have My Usual Irregular

    | Columbus, OH, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (I am another customer in this story standing at the drink counter stirring my coffee when two drinks come ready at the same time. Despite the drinks being different sizes, very different contents, and called out with both to a shop quiet enough to be heard easily, both customers reach for the same drink.)

    Customer #1: “Yours is the grande.”

    Customer #2: “Are you sure?”

    Customer #1: “Yeah, I had a tall.”

    Customer #2: “I guess I forgot what my regular is.”

    H2-Slow, Part 7

    | MA, USA | Extra Stupid

    (I work at a well known children’s clothing store. It is Christmas Eve. A woman picks up a rain jacket and walks up to ask me a question.)

    Customer: “Is this water resistant?”

    Me: “It’s a raincoat.”

    Customer: “Yes, but is it water resistant?”

    Me: “Well, it’s a raincoat so it’s kind of meant to be worn when there’s water.”

    Customer: “Oh, I see; it’s a raincoat… So, is it water resistant?”

    Related:
    H2Slow, Part 6
    H2Slow, Part 5
    H2Slow, Part 4

    An Unhappy Meal

    | NV, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

    (The majority of my calls tend to come from the technologically deficient users attempting to access our online banking site.)

    Caller: “I can’t get into your website. Are you having problems?”

    Me: *verifies website is working normally* “No, ma’am, our website appears to be working just fine. There might be an issue with your computer. What web browser are you using?”

    Caller: “McDonald’s.”

    Me: “Pardon me, but did you say McDonald’s?”

    Caller: “Yes.”

    Me: “Are you using the Internet at McDonald’s?”

    Caller: “Of course, that is what I just told you.”

    Me: “Okay, but I need to know what program you are using to get onto our website.”

    Caller: “I already told you. I’m using McDonald’s.”

    Me: “I understand you are using their Internet access, but I need to know what program you are using. Could it be Internet Explorer, Firefox, Google Chrome, or Opera?”

    Caller: *in a rather desperate tone* “I already told you. I’m using McDonald’s.”

    Me: “I understand. What does the icon that you clicked on look like? Is it a blue ‘E’ with a gold halo?”

    Caller: “How would I know that?”

    Me: “Look on your desktop and…”

    Caller: “How many times do I have to tell you that I’m at McDonald’s?”

    Me: “Ma’am, the desktop is what you see when you turn the computer on.”

    (This conversation went on for 20 minutes before we finally figured out she was using Internet Explorer. The issue was that her Java was out of date. Way out of date. Talking her through updating Java took an additional 15 minutes. After the conversation, I walked into my boss’s office and informed him that I qualified for hazard pay.)

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