Category: Extra Stupid

This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

A Window To My Problems

| Canada | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid

(I am a volunteer at a small charity thrift store. As there is a line at the cash, I am helping customers who want to see certain items while my coworker rings other people through.)

Customer: “Can I see that girl’s dress in the window?”

Me: “Sure! But just so you know, any items displayed in the windows can’t be sold until next week.”

Customer: “That’s fine; I just want to see what size it is.”

(I go to the window and start to retrieve the only girl’s dress there.)

Customer: “No, that’s the wrong one! I said I want the baby dress in the window!”

(There are two baby dresses in the window.)

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry. Which one would you like to see? There are two baby dresses.”

Customer: “The one in the window!”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, but which of the two in the window would you like to see?”

Customer: *agitated* “The one in the window!”

(I take one of the dresses at random.)

Me: “Was it this one?”

Customer: “No, the other one!”

Me: “The dress you wanted to see is sized for 24 months.”

Customer: “Great! I’ll buy it!”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry, but items in the window can’t be sold until next week.”

Customer: “Well, how could I know that? You said earlier that things in the window aren’t until next week but how could I know I couldn’t buy the dress?!”

(At this point my coworker saw me getting frustrated and took over, pretending to sympathize with her to get her out the door. Later, that same coworker informed me that she recognized the woman as a problem customer from her days working at the local grocery store but couldn’t find a way to warn me in time!)

Totally Estúpido, Part 2

, , | Cleveland, OH, USA | Extra Stupid, Language & Words

(I have a Hispanic name, but was born in raised in the United States; therefore, I have no accent. The phone rings and I’m the closest so I go to pick it up.)

Me: “Having a great day at [Restaurant]. This is [Name] speaking. How can I help you?”

Customer: *beep*

Me: “Hello?”

Customer: *beep*

Me: *I try one more time before hanging up*

Customer: “English.”

Me: *in an overly enthusiastic voice* “Having a great day at [Restaurant]. This is [Non-Hispanic Name]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Oh, that’s better. I think I got the Spanish line when I first called.”

Their Stupidity Does Not Compute

| BC, Canada | Extra Stupid, Technology

(A customer was having some issues logging into her account on our website.)

Me: “First, click on the ‘sign in’ link.”

Customer: “I don’t see it!”

Me: “There’s a white ‘sign in’ button on the top right corner of our website.”

Customer: “I’m looking, I don’t see it!” *getting very frustrated*

Me: “It’s above our logo.”

Customer: “I know. It’s not there. I don’t see it!”

Me: “Are you on [OurWebsite].com?”

Customer: “…No.”

Me: “Are you at your computer right now?”

Customer: “…No.”

Don’t Listen And Lose Out

| Canton, CT, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(I am working the drive-through on a late-night shift with one other manager. It’s slow, but we do get a few customers. A customer pulls up to the drive-through.)

Customer: “Hello? I’d like two [Sandwich], please, but I don’t see them on the menu.”

Manager: “Sorry about that, sir; they recently changed the name of the [Sandwich], which is probably why you didn’t see it. We still have it, it’s just called the [New Sandwich] now.”

Customer: “Oh, shoot, that’s a shame. I’ll have two [Chicken Sandwich] instead, then.”

(My manager and I share a look, and I chime in, thinking he may have misheard my manager.)

Me: “We still have the [Sandwich], sir. It has just been renamed. Same bun, same toppings, same everything, just a new name.”

Customer: “Oooooh. Darn, that’s a real shame. Guess I have to have two [Chicken Sandwich] instead, then?”

(My manager shakes his head and puts the sandwiches through, and the customer takes them and drives off.)

Manager: “You know, that would have been funny if he hadn’t been through here the last two nights, and had the exact same problem.”

Wish You Could Wash Your Hands Of This Customer

| Finland | Extra Stupid, Technology, Transportation

(It’s late in the evening. It’s quite busy, so we have both registers open. A middle-aged lady is next in my line.)

Customer #1: “I’d like to wash my car.”

Me: “What kind of wash would you need today?”

Customer #1: “I don’t know… What would you recommend?”

(I recommend her the basic carwash with wax, and she pays for it. I hand her the receipt with a code you need to enter in order to get into the carwash.)

Customer #1: “So, who is going to take my car to the carwash? I’ve never done it; my husband has always done it for me.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but at this moment there is no-one to take your car. You need to do it yourself.”

Customer #1: “But I’ve never done it before! What do I have to do?! Why can’t you do it?”

(There is a line for my register, and even a longer one for my coworker.)

Me: “I’m really sorry but there is no-one who could do it at the moment. But it’s not hard at all! You just drive to the other side of the building. There are two washing units. Just choose which ever you like. Before you drive inside, you need to turn your side mirrors and take the radio antenna off. Then just enter this code right here on the keypad, drive in, stop when the light is red and just wait until the wash is over.”

Customer #1: “But… but… Is there really no-one to do this? Oh, this is all so hard! My husband has always done this!”

Me: *giving up* “How about this? You drive to the other side of the building and I’ll come over there and show you how it’s done? I’ll just serve these customers quickly.”

Customer #1: “Oh, yes, please!”

(She leaves. I serve the other customers waiting in the line. The man who was right after the lady shouts to me from the door:)

Customer #2: “Oh, boy! The lady who you just served? She’s trying to get into the carwash from the wrong side of the building!”

(I go outside, and there she is, looking really confused.)

Me: “I’m sorry ma’am, but you need to drive to the other side of the building. Just let me first take care of those mirrors and the antenna.”

(The customer is looking even more confused as I hand her the antenna. She drives to the other side of the building and parks in front of the washing unit.)

Me: “Okay. So, could you please hand me the receipt with the code? You just enter this code on the keypad. Then you drive inside—”

Customer #1: *cuts me off* “How do I know when to stop? Oh, this is so hard!”

Me: “You stop when the light over there turns red. Then you stop your engine, put on the handbrake, and just wait. When the wash is over, the other door will open. When the light turns back to green, you can drive out. Remember to turn your mirrors back to normal position when you are done.”

Customer #1: “Oh, thank you! I’ve never done this! I hope I do everything right!”

(I watch as the customer drives in and make sure the wash starts correctly. I return to the register. About ten minutes passes, long enough for the wash to end.)

Customer #1: “Oh, I don’t know what happened to my car! I came out of the wash and now all the turn signals on my car are flashing! What did the wash do to my car!”

Me: “You must have pressed the button for emergency signal by accident. Just press the button again and it’ll be fine.”

Customer #1: “NO! I have not pressed anything! It’s the wash! It did something to my car!”

Me: “Let me come and take a look.”

(We go outside, and to no surprise, she has pressed the button. I press it again and the flashing stops.)

Customer #1: “I don’t understand! Why did it do like that?! I have not pressed any buttons!”

Me: “I don’t know. Strange. Well, it’s fixed now. Have a nice evening!”

(I went back inside and told my coworker what just happened. She was just as confused as I was.)

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