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    Category: Extra Stupid

    This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

    Not Playing Games With The Game

    | Denmark | Bad Behavior, Extra Stupid, Technology

    (I work in returns and customer service for a large electronics retailer in Denmark. A customer enters with a desktop PC, and I can tell, before he even opens his mouth, that he is going to be trouble:)

    Customer: “I bought this gaming PC and it’s supposed to be the shit and hardcore and everything, but I installed a game and it’s lagging and I want a new computer.”

    Me: “I’m sorry to hear that you’re having a problem; but let me just see if I can’t figure out what the problem is.”

    (I take the PC out back and hook it up. Once it booted, I noticed a single game icon on the desktop. I started the game and sure enough, it was sluggish and unstable. Going on a hunch, I looked at which programs are running and found exactly what I was looking for. I pack up the computer and go back to the customer.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir. I’m unable to help you with your problem, as the game is a pirated version.”

    Customer: “What? This is total bull-s***. I bought this game yesterday from this store and it runs like s***.”

    Me: “First of all, this game is three years old and not currently available in our store. And secondly, I can see from your µTorrent download list, that you are currently seeding the game, which is illegal. I cannot help you any further.”

    (The customer hits the roof and starts ranting:)

    Customer: “What? You won’t help me? What am I supposed to do with this piece of s*** computer now? It doesn’t work! Fix it.”

    Me: “As I explained, I cannot help you with issues pertaining to pirated software. I’m sorry, but you’ll have to figure this out on your own.”

    Customer: “I’ll just go buy an extended warranty and then smash the computer in the parking lot. You’ll have to give me a new one.”

    (I try explaining to him that such abuse won’t be covered by the warranty, but he won’t listen. So while he walks inside the store carrying his PC, I calmly add a note to his receipt:)

    Note: “This customer expressed intent to purchase an extended warranty for his PC and then deliberately smash the item, in order to get a refund.”

    (10 minutes later I see the customer kicking his PC across the parking lot. I immediately look up recent receipts in the system and find a note on his extended warranty:)

    Note: “This customer has been advised that smashing his PC intentionally will void the extended warranty, but he was adamant. We sold him the warranty, but can’t wait to refuse his claim.

    (And yes, the security camera caught his little parking lot tirade.)

    A Whopper Of A Mistake

    , | Frankfort, KY, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (I work at a popular fast food chain which just so happens to be placed right next to a fairly popular burger place. Today I am working drive-thru for the first time when this happens.)

    Me: “All right, take your time and order when you’re ready.”

    Customer: “Okay, I’ll take a Whopper with no pickles.”

    Me: “Um, we don’t have that.”

    Customer: “That’s okay; I’ll just have a burger then.”

    Me: “We don’t sell those either.”

    Customer: “Then what do you have?”

    Me: “We sell roast beef.”

    (By this time the customer has realized something is amiss.)

    Customer: “Where am I?”

    Me: “You’re at [Store].”

    Customer: “Oh, my god, I’m in the wrong place.”

    (With that she takes off and I give her a friendly wave as she passes by. Needless to say everyone in the store is laughing as my manager comes to the front.)

    Manager: “What happened?”

    Me: “Customer was wanting [Burger Place] and came here by mistake.”

    Manager: “That happens a lot. My favorite is when they come inside and still try to order from the wrong menu.”

    Has Been LED Astray

    | NE, USA | Extra Stupid, Money, Technology

    (I’m one of the managers at a video game store where we also buy other electronics, including TVs. We typically don’t pay a lot for LCD TVs because people bring them in all the time, and we have TONS in overstock due to this. I had just gotten a customer’s total figured out for their LCD TV…)

    Me: “All right, you’re looking at [total] for your TV.”

    Customer: “WHAT? I paid $150 for this TV. Why am I only gettin’ that much?”

    Me: “Honestly, bud, people bring in LCD and LED TVs here so often that we have a lot of TVs that have just been collecting dust in our warehouse for months. Because of that, we haven’t been able to pay as much for TVs as we used to.”

    Customer: “Well, my buddy’s got a plasma at home that he’s thinking about sellin’. How much you guys pay for that?”

    Me: “Plasmas are a completely different story. We don’t see many of those, and they still have a lot of value on the market, so we’re able to pay way more for those.”

    Customer: “Yeah, that makes sense, since you gotta refill ‘em every year.”

    Me: “Refill… What?”

    Customer: “Yeah, my buddy was sayin’ that he had to have someone come out and refill the plasma in his TV a couple weeks ago. He said you gotta do that like once a year or they go bad.”

    (I was so dumbstruck at this point that I couldn’t even begin to explain to him how wrong he was. He seriously believed this is how plasmas worked, too.)

    Logged Too Many Logins

    | England, UK | Extra Stupid, Technology

    (This happens far too regularly.)

    Me: “Hello, [Company]. How may I help?”

    Customer: “Hello I would like to know how to [generic query].”

    Me: “Okay, from [screen], open [other screen], and select [option].”

    Customer: “Oh, hang on. Let me get to a computer and log in.”

    Parked Her American Dream

    | Baltimore, MD, USA | Extra Stupid, Geography

    (I work at a large department store that gets quite busy in the afternoon, and parking can be competitive. A woman is angry that another customer beat her to the spot she wanted, and becomes so upset that security goes out to see what is the matter.)

    Customer: “This is horrible! I would expect this to happen in some uncivilized country, like Mexico, or Florida, but not here in AMERICA!”

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