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    Category: Extra Stupid

    This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

    Hard To Drink In This Much Stupid

    | Seattle, WA, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (I am the customer in this story. I’m in a coffee shop and there is a man in front me who has just rattled out a majorly complex iced coffee order with a myriad of flavor sauces, even going so far as to request a layer of whipped cream in the middle of the drink.)

    Cashier: “All right, that’ll be [price]. Your order might take a moment.”

    Customer: “That’s fine.”

    (I order my own coffee, which is just a mocha latte, without whipped cream. The barista finishes my drink first, as it’s much simpler. It’s in a paper cup, as it’s hot, whereas his is being seen prepared in a clear plastic cup, as it’s iced.)

    Barista: “Mocha latte for [My Name]!”

    (The customer with the long order swoops in before I can grab my drink, swiping it off the counter and taking a sip immediately.)

    Customer: “This is perfect! Thank you so much!”

    (He then runs out the door before either of us can speak.)

    Me: “Did he just..?”

    Barista: “… I’ll make you another drink.”

    In Closed Quarters

    | MN, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid

    (I work as a cashier at a chain of grocery stores. In our lanes, we have these little gates that you can bring down if the lane is closed. There is very little space between the gate and the belt, so customers can’t squeeze their way in. My manager comes over to tell me to go on break, and then puts the gate down as we’re rather busy at the moment and customers don’t often notice that the light is off above our register, showing we’re closed. I have one other customer still in line after we close the gate, so I hurry to finish with her.)

    Me: “And have a nice day, ma’am.”

    (I hear heavy breathing and look at the entrance to my lane after giving the customer her receipt. A man has squeezed himself through the space between the gate and the register!)

    Customer: *still breathing heavily* “Woof, that was hard to get through!”

    (I still don’t know how he got through, considering I weight about 150lbs and I can’t get through the gap without sucking in my stomach, and he had a good 50 or so pounds on me!)

    Stupidity Can Accumulate

    , | ON, Canada | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Math & Science, Money

    (I am working as a cashier. A customer comes up with a large order, which I ring up.)

    Me: “All right, sir, your total comes to $2000.”

    (The customer swipes his card and enters his account information and pin. It’s declined.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir, your card was declined.”

    Customer: “No, it wasn’t! I have lots of money in this account! Try it again!”

    (I try it again. Again it’s declined.)

    Me: “Did you mean to hit chequing? If you meant to use your savings account, that could be why it’s declined.”

    Customer: “No, I only use my chequing account!”

    Me: “Well, do you have a daily limit? Some banks have that set up, so you can only spend a certain amount each day.”

    Customer: “Yes, I have a $500 daily limit.”

    Me: “This transaction is for $2000, sir. That’s a lot more than $500.”

    Customer: “But I haven’t used this card in three days!”

    Me: “It’s a DAILY limit. It resets every day.”

    (I didn’t feel like explaining that, even if it was cumulative, that still wouldn’t have equaled $2000.)

    A Strange Site To Behold

    | GA, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

    Me: “Thank you for calling [Store]. How may I help you?”

    Caller: “Do you ship?”

    Me: “Yes, ma’am, off of our website.”

    Caller: “What is your website? I’ve been looking all over for it and I can’t find it.”

    Me: “May I ask how you got our number, ma’am?”

    Caller:  ”Off of your website.”

    Me: “But how could you get our number off of our website if you can’t find our website?”

    Caller:  *hangs up*

    (What a way to start the day…)

    Brain Unplugged

    | Canada | Extra Stupid, Technology

    (The caller is having a problem with his Internet connection that can be fixed by restarting the modem. He says he already did, and needs a tech to come out, but I can see the modem hasn’t been turned off in a very long time.)

    Me: “I’ll just have you unplug the modem for me right now, okay?”

    Caller: “Okay, it’s unplugged.”

    Me: “Okay, I can see the modem and it’s still online with us, so something else has been unplugged. It’s the skinny black wire coming out of the back of the modem. You can pull it right out of the back there; can you do that now for me please?”

    Caller: “Okay, it’s unplugged.”

    Me: “Are you sure? I can see it’s still online with us. Are there any lights lit up on the modem?”

    Caller: “Yeah, there’s a bunch and two of them are flashing.”

    Me: “Okay, well, the modem doesn’t have any batteries in there so it’s still getting power from somewhere. Can you please pull that skinny black cord right out of the back of the modem? It’ll pull right out.”

    Caller: “Yeah, it’s unplugged.”

    Me: “You pulled that skinny black cord out?”

    Caller: “Yeah, yeah, it’s unplugged.”

    Me: “And what are the lights doing?”

    Caller: “They’re the same. Still two flashing.”

    Me: “And you pulled out that cord, did you?”

    Caller: “Yeah, it’s unplugged!”

    Me: “That doesn’t seem possible for it to be getting electricity when it’s not plugged in.”

    (I can see perfectly well it’s still online and know he hasn’t unplugged it, but it’s not a type I can reboot from my end.)

    Caller: “Yeah, I told you. My Internet doesn’t work! Now can you please send me a tech?”

    Me: “Well, something certainly does seem to be wrong. The next appointment I have is in… three days.”

    Caller: “That’s fine. Thanks.”

    (I go ahead and book the tech, who will come out and get it online by unplugging it for a few seconds. For that, the caller has to wait for three days, when he could have just done what I told him to and been online again immediately!)

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