October Theme Of The Month: Halloween!

Category: Extra Stupid

This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

Trying To Make A Clean Getaway

| Wales, UK | Bizarre, Extra Stupid

(I am cleaning a laboratory; I have wet floor signs out and a sign saying “Cleaning in progress.” Cleaning takes place when no one is normally around. I have mop in my hand and a bucket beside me.)

Biologist: “Are you cleaning the floor?”

Me: “Yes, I have a certain time slot to do it and normally no one around.”

Biologist: “Well I haven’t seen any warning signs!”

(I point to several and cleaning sign.)

Biologist: “Have you mopped the floor over there?”

Me: “Yes I have; a couple of minutes ago.”

Biologist: “Is the floor where you just mopped going to be wet?”

Me: “…Yup.”

(Glad all those years in university weren’t wasted!)

A Third Of The Way To A Breakdown

| MN, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Math & Science

(The current sale on a certain brand of pizzas is three for $10, making the sale price for each $3.33. A customer comes through the line with two pizzas.)

Customer: “I know the sign says three for $10, but I only want to buy two of these pizzas.”

Me: “That’s fine; they ring up at the sale price no matter how many you buy.”

(I scan one pizza and show him that it rings up as $3.33.)

Customer: “NO! You don’t understand; I want the SALE PRICE.”

Me: “$3.33 is the sale price.”

Customer: “No, it’s not!”

(I’m beginning to have a line, so I pull out a calculator to show the math.)

Me: “It is, sir. Look. Ten divided by three is 3.33.”


Next Customer: “I do.”

(The first customer refused to believe me, saying that he’d pay for them just this once. He also said he’d be informing a manager about the wrong sale price. Needless to say, I did not get in trouble.)

Fourth Time Lucky

| BC, Canada | Extra Stupid, Money

(I work in a call centre for a movie rental company; this is not one specific interaction with a customer, but an exchange that happens at least once a day:)

Me: “In order to pull up your transaction, I need the last four digits of the card used.”

Customer: “My credit card?”

Me: “Yes, whatever card you use with us.”

Customer: “You need the last four digits?”

Me: “Yes.”

Customer: “Of my credit card?”

Me: “Yes.”

Customer: “The last four?”

Has No Fortitude For Longitude, Part 8

| AZ, USA | Extra Stupid, Geography, Money

Me: “Thank you for calling [Credit Card Services]. I’m [My Name]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “I want to make a payment.”

(I take payment.)

Customer: “Am I late?”

Me: “Unfortunately, yes. The cut off time is midnight Eastern Time. But I can look into the late fee for you.”


Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “I’m in Texas! It’s not midnight where I am!”

Me: “I understand that, but we go by eastern time—”

Customer: “That’s just a made up rule!”

Me: “Sir, time is not a made up rule…”

No Fortitude For Longitude, Part 7
No Fortitude For Longitude, Part 6
No Fortitude For Longitude, Part 5

Makes You Want To Answer In Your Outdoor Voice

| BC, Canada | Extra Stupid

(This usually happens at least six or seven times per day:)

Me: “Hello, Indoor Paintball. How can I help you?”

Caller: “Hello is this Indoor Paintball?”

Me: “…Yes, it is. How can I help you?”

Caller: “Yeah, I just wanted to know if your field is indoors.”

Me: “…Yes, it is.”

Caller: “Oh… okay, thanks.” *click*

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