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    Category: Extra Stupid

    This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

    The Art Of Ordering Without Ordering

    | Olympia, WA, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (I work in a restaurant and we have three kinds of shakes available: vanilla, strawberry and chocolate.)

    Me: “What can I get for you today?”

    Customer: “I would like a large chocolate shake, but without the chocolate.”

    Me: “You mean; you want a vanilla shake?”

    Customer: “Did I say I wanted a f****** vanilla shake? I said I want a CHOCOLATE SHAKE WITHOUT THE CHOCOLATE! Are you new or something?”

    Me: “No, I’ve been working here for six months. How do I make a chocolate shake without the chocolate?”

    Customer: “Ah, so, you’re f****** stupid?! You weren’t trained at all. I WANT A CHOCOLATE SHAKE WITHOUT THE CHOCOLATE, YOU UNEDUCATED LITTLE S***! My three-year-old could do your job better!”

    Me: “Okay, your total is $2.50.”

    (Customer throws the money on the table.)

    Customer: “That’s what I thought. I just have to repeat myself to you idiots.”

    (I made her a vanilla shake and handed it to her. She drank it at the table and didn’t complain at all about it.)

    Nothing To Tip Him Off

    | Colorado Springs, CO, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Language & Words

    (My coworker and I are working at a gas station while our manager is working in the back room. A customer comes up to the register.)

    Customer: “Can I get a wine (tobacco product)?”

    (Because these products come in either wood tip or plastic tip, we always ask the customer which they would like if they don’t specify.)

    Coworker: “Wood or plastic tip?”

    Customer: “Wine.”

    Coworker: “Yes. Wood or plastic?”

    Customer: “WINE.”

    Coworker: “WOOD or PLASTIC?”

    (This continues on for another minute or two until they are near shouting at each other, despite my coworker acknowledging the request for wine-flavor. My manager comes around the corner with her phone out.)

    Manager: “Sir, she’s asking you very clearly which kind of wine (tobacco product) you would like: one with a wood tip, or one with a plastic tip.”

    (The customer has a dumbfounded look for a moment, and then slaps his hand to his forehead in embarrassment.)

    Customer: “OH! Oh, my goodness. I’m SO sorry! Plastic tip, please!”

    (We all start laughing as my coworker shakes her head and begins checking the man out. Before he leaves, he looks at my manager, who is still standing next to me, giggling.)

    Customer: “Why did you come out with your phone out, anyways?”

    Manager: “Oh, because it was just too perfect! I had to get it on video or no one would ever believe it really happened!”

    (She had recorded the exchange, and has since showed it to some of my other coworkers who couldn’t believe that this even happened. The man still comes in and has since remembered to specify which kind of tip he would like on his product.)

    There’s A Twist At The End

    , | AR, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, School

    (I serve ice cream on a buffet line in the college’s cafeteria. There’s vanilla, chocolate, and twist on the soft serve machine.)

    Student: “Can I have some soft serve vanilla ice cream?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, we ran out.”

    Student: “Oh. Then can I have the twist?”

    A Truly Confusing Exchange

    | USA | Extra Stupid, Money, Technology, Tourists/Travel

    (I have a customer who is getting ready to travel out of the country. I often have people ask about using cash, travelers checks, and credit cards while abroad.)

    Me: “… Another option that is available to you is using ATMs to get cash out once you are where you are going. That way you aren’t walking around and traveling with a large sum of cash.”

    Customer: “Yeah, I can get some money and exchange it at a bank there.”

    Me: “No, you can just get the money from the ATM directly without having to

    exchange it.”

    Customer: “But the money I get from the ATM is US dollar.”

    Me: “No, the ATM dispenses the local currency.”

    Customer: “Why can’t I get money from an ATM when I’m out of the country?”

    Me: “You can. It will just be in the local currency.”

    Customer: “This is unacceptable! Why can’t I get US money from an ATM?!”

    Me: “Because the ATM is not in the US. The same reason our ATM out front does not dispense any money other than US currency.”

    Customer: “I just can’t understand why I can’t get my money when I’m traveling!”

    Forget To Drink To Forget

    | London, England, UK | Extra Stupid, Family & Kids, Food & Drink

    (I’m bartending at a wedding and the bar is quiet. A father approaches the bar with his newly 18-year-old daughter.)

    Father: “I’ll have a pint of Guinness, please.”

    Me: “Certainly, sir. Is there anything else I can get you?”

    Father: “Do you want anything, [Daughter]?”

    Daughter: “Oh, I’ll just have some water, please.”

    Father: “Are you sure? You’re allowed alcohol now, remember!”

    Daughter: *face lights up* “Oh, yeah! Uhm…” *falls silent for about five seconds* “What do you have?”

    (I motion to the wide range of alcoholic beverages behind me.)

    Me: “Whatever you fancy, ma’am.”

    Daughter: “Uhm… I don’t know! What do I want?”

    (Her father says nothing, so I presume the question is to me.)

    Me: “Well, what do you normally drink? We have a very wide range of spirits behind me, cold beer on tap in front of you, and several ciders and ales in the fridges that I can list if you’d like.”

    Daughter: “Uhm, can I have a rum and Coke?”

    Me: “Of course, ma’am! Light or dark rum?”

    Daughter: “Uhm… Do you have Barcardi?”

    Me: “Coming right up!”

    (I make her Barcardi and Coke and pour the father his Guinness before taking payment. As the daughter walks away, the father sighs.)

    Father: “I’m very sorry about that! Sometimes I wonder if she’s all there!”

    (He then walks away without his Guinness, returning a minute or so later to collect it with a sheepish look on his face!)

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