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    Category: Extra Stupid

    This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

    You Wouldn’t Beliebe It

    | TX, USA | Extra Stupid, Musical Mayhem

    (We have pre-teen Justin Bieber cut outs in our store, along with party accessories.)

    Customer: “I was wondering if you have any ‘Justine Bieber’ stuff.”

    Me: *thinking nothing of how she said the name* “Right this way! We have the pre-teen Bieber, if that’s what you’re looking for.”

    Customer: “No, I was wanting the cut out stand. You know, the cardboard ones you can buy.”

    Me: “OH! Yes, I don’t think we have any set up in the store, but we have some in the back. They’re $34.97 for one.”

    Customer: “That’s really high!”

    Me: “I agree. It’s a bit much for some cardboard, but girls seem to love owning them.”

    Customer: “That’s true. My granddaughter keeps asking for one.”

    Me: “Well, let me just look in the back to see if we have one.” *goes to back and brings out a still-packaged cut out*

    Customer: “Oh, this one is pre-teen, too.”

    Me: “Yes. I’m afraid we don’t have any new Bieber items.”

    Customer: *frowning at the cut out* “Just as well. I don’t really like my granddaughter having this Bieber stuff. Have you see how she looks?”

    Me: “Sorry? Your granddaughter?”

    Customer: “No, ‘Justine Bieber.’ She’d be so much prettier if she’d grow her hair out, is what I mean. With her hair all spiked up how it is, she looks like a lesbian!”

    Not The Cream Of The Crop, Part 2

    , | USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (One very early morning, I have just made a customer a hot mocha.)

    Customer: “Um, I think there’s something wrong with my drink. It’s really cold. It’s not even lukewarm!”

    Me: “I’m so sorry! Maybe I hit the iced button by accident. Let me remake that for you.”

    (I proceed to remake the drink, being extra careful to make it perfectly.)

    Me: “All done! Again, sorry about that.”

    (The customer takes a tiny sip and slams the cup back on the counter.)

    Customer: “It’s still cold!”

    Me: “Sir… that was the whipped cream. Your coffee is underneath it.”

    Related:
    Not The Cream Of The Crop

    Glad They Nipped That One In The Bud

    | NJ, USA | Extra Stupid, Health & Body, Pets & Animals

    (A male customer comes up to me and shows me a male dog’s belly. Note that I am a rather young woman.)

    Customer: “What are those bumps on his belly?”

    Me: “Those are nipples.”

    Customer: “But I thought you said it was a boy.”

    Me: “He is a boy.”

    Customer: *horrified* “So why does he have nipples?”

    Me: “All mammals have nipples, sir. Don’t you?”

    Customer: “I… I guess you’re right.”

    (The customer turns six shades of red and walks away. This is not the first time that exact exchange has transpired.)

    They’re Magically Cannibalicious!

    | Northern Ireland, UK | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Money

    (I work in a small store in Northern Ireland where we sell some American imports but for quite a bit more expensive prices.)

    Me: “That’ll be £6.95, ma’am.”

    Customer: “How dare you try to scam your customers?!”

    Me: “Excuse me?”

    Customer: “Selling Lucky Charms for seven dollars? That is preposterous. At home they are only two dollars in Target.”

    Me: “Well, ma’am, we do have to import them… This IS Northern Ireland.”

    Customer: “This is part of Ireland?”

    Me: “I guess you could say that.”

    Customer: “I’m so sorry! I didn’t think about how I might be offending you! Don’t worry this cereal isn’t really leprechauns. We wouldn’t eat your relatives!” *pays and leaves without cereal*

    (My manager got a call later that night saying that the cereal was for me and that she was very sorry for ‘acting like some sort of cannibal.’)

    Needs To Go To 911, 101

    | SC, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid

    Me: “911, what’s the address of your emergency?”

    Caller: “I need the number for the phone company.”

    Me: “Ma’am, this is 911. Do you have an emergency?”

    Caller: “I need the number for the phone company!”

    Me: “Okay, so just to clarify: you do not have an emergency at this time?”

    Caller: “No.”

    Me: “Okay, ma’am. Call me back at this number and I’ll see what I can do to help you.”

    (At this point I gave her the non-emergency number and she hung up. I grabbed the phone book while I waited on her to call back.)

    Me: “This is the [City] Police Department. How can I help you?”

    Caller: “Yes, I need the number for the phone company.”

    Me: “Okay, ma’am. I’ve got the phone book in front of me now. There are three numbers listed here, which do you need? I have one for billing, one for establishing service, and one for repairs.”

    Caller: “No! I need the number for the phone company that I can call and get someone else’s phone number.”

    Me: *pause* “Do you mean 411, ma’am?”

    Caller: “Yes! That’s it! Thanks!” *click*

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