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    Category: Extra Stupid

    This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

    Enough To Split Your Sides

    | WA, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (A waitress is taking my father-in-law’s order, which comes with a choice of side dish.)

    Waitress: “And what would you like, sir?”

    Father-In-Law: “Filet mignon, please.”

    Waitress: “And how would you like that cooked?”

    Father-In-Law: “Medium, please.”

    Waitress: “And which side?”

    Father-In-Law: “Both.”

    Doesn’t Even Know Where To Start(er)

    | OH, USA | Extra Stupid, History, Top, Transportation

    (I work at an auto parts store in a small town in the Appalachian foothills. I am talking to an elderly customer.)

    Customer: “I need a starter for my 1990 Plymouth Acclaim.”

    Me: “Alright. There were two different starters used on that car. One was made by Bosch, and the other was made by Mitsubishi. Do you know which one your car has?”

    Customer: “No. I don’t. I’ll have to find out.”

    Me: “Well, it’s okay. They will both work interchangeably. Just be aware that they do look completely different from each other, The one I sell you might look different, but it will still fit and work fine. It looks like the Mitsubishi starter is less expensive, so I’ll grab that one for you. Okay?”

    Customer: “Now hold on a second. I don’t want no Mitsubishi anything! Don’t you know? Japan was against us in World War II!”

    Me: “Alright, sir. I’ll get you the German-made Bosch starter.”

    Customer: “Now, that’s better!”

    Christmas Day Meets Groundhog Day

    | St. Catharines, ON, Canada | Extra Stupid, Holidays, Money, Theme Of The Month

    (It is a very busy Sunday afternoon in the store. One of our staff is late due to bad weather and a dead car battery, so we are all rushed off our feet. I take a call.)

    Me: “[Store Name]. This is [My Name]. How can I help you?”

    Caller: “Yes. Hi. Do you have any sales going on with your Christmas dresses?”

    Me: “I’m afraid not, ma’am. There are no dresses on sale at the moment.”

    Caller: “How much are the dresses you have?”

    Me: “They range from $30 to $50, depending on the dress. But, we might be having a 40 percent off sale later this week. If you’d like to, call back then and check the dresses at that point.”

    Caller: “So, what sale do you have for your dresses right now? I want one just above the knee.”

    Me: “Well, most of our dresses fall just above the knee, ma’am. Like I said, we have no dresses on sale today, but we might have them on sale later this week.”

    Caller: “I’m going to a holiday party, you see, and I need a dress that falls above the knee.”

    Me: “Yes, ma’am. I understand. If you check back in a few days you might be able to get a dress for 40 percent off.”

    Caller: *finally clues in* “40 percent off you say? So what price would the dresses be then?”

    Me: “It would depend on the dress, ma’am. As I said, they range from $30 to $50.”

    Caller: “Oh, so how much would the $50 dollar dress be? I’m going to a holiday party and need a dress above the knee. You don’t have any dresses on sale today? Do you?”

    Me: *facepalm*

    Should Have Saved The Date In Their Advent Calendar

    | OH, USA | Extra Stupid, Holidays, Theme Of The Month

    Me: “Hi, ma’am. Welcome to [Toy Store]. Can I help you find anything?”

    Customer: “Yeah. Do you guys still sell Advent calendars here?”

    (It’s December 10th, halfway through Advent.)

    Me: “Sorry, ma’am. We’ve been out of Advent calendars since mid-November. We didn’t even have any for Black Friday, unfortunately.”

    Customer: “So you don’t have any?”

    Me: “No. But we do them every year, so there’s already next year.”

    Customer: “Ah, shoot. I was really looking forward to getting one for the kids.”

    Me: “Yeah. With something like that I always recommend getting them as early as possible. Definitely before December.”

    Customer: “When is the next time you’ll be getting them in?”

    Me: “Next September.”

    An Upside Downside To Christmas

    | Brisbane, QLD, Australia | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Holidays, Theme Of The Month

    (We sell Christmas-themed doughnuts. One looks like a Christmas tree, with a chocolate wafer stick as the trunk. On the display tray the trunk normally points towards the customer. I’ve just served someone who ordered one and changed their mind. I’ve hurriedly put it back, but the trunk is facing the wrong way, towards me.)

    Customer: “I want a tree, but do you have any that aren’t upside down?”


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