November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

Category: Extra Stupid

This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

Has Led A Sugar-Coated Existence

| Australia | Bizarre, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(For sanitary reasons, we do not add sugar to our customer’s coffee. There are sugar packets and spoons in front of the register for the customers to use.)

Me: “Here’s your regular latte, sir. Have a good day!”

Customer: “…are there two sugars in this?”

Me: “No sir, but there are sugar packets just in front for you.”

Customer: *looking very confused* “But how is the sugar going to get in my coffee?”

Me: “You can just put it in…” *customer is still frowning at me like he doesn’t understand*

Me: “Never mind. I’ll help you with that.”

(I take two sugar packets from right in front of this man, tear them open and pour in the sugar. Then I stir it in and slide it back across the counter to him.)

Me: “Just like that, sir. Have a good day!”

Customer: “Ugh, bye.” *storms off muttering something under his breath*

(Meanwhile, my coworker and I stood there wondering how this man had gotten through 40-something years of his life without stirring in sugar!)

A Giant Wave Of Ignorance

| Seward, AK, USA | Extra Stupid, Tourists/Travel

(We do glacier and whale watching cruises. On this day, there has been a tsunami alert, although it later turned out to be a false alarm. The alarm horns are sounding all over the waterfront.)

Me: “This is the tsunami warning system. I need everyone to drop what you’re doing and evacuate uphill to the high school. There are evacuation route signs posted under the street signs.”

Customer: “Can you explain this tour to me?”

Me: “Sir, we are evacuating.”

Customer: “Can I just wait by the docks until you all come back?”

Me: “There is a tsunami alarm sounding. You need to get to high ground.”

Customer: “But, when the tsunami is over, will you be running more tours?”

In Hot Soup Now

| The Netherlands | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Math & Science

(We serve our soup in big round fancy bowls where the edge is raised on only one side.)

Customer: “Excuse me! Miss, I have a complaint. I’m afraid I did not receive a full bowl of soup. You see, it’s only half full.”

(I look at her bowl and see that it is in fact filled for as much as the bowl allows. You could not possibly fill the bowl with more soup, because it would spill over on one side.)

Me: “Ma’am, it seems that your bowl is completely filled. What exactly do you mean?”

Customer: “Look! Look at this side of the bowl! There’s no soup here. It’s false advertising. Why would you have a bowl this large and high and not fill it all the way?”

Me: “I’m sorry, are you asking me to change the law of physics for you?”

Customer: “Yes!”

Ensuring A Lack Of Insuring

| WI, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Health & Body, Money

Me: “Hi, how can I help you?”

Customer: “I would like to pick up my prescription.”

Me: “Okay, what is your last name?”

Customer: “[Name].”

Me: “I notice that we have not run insurance on this. Let me look into that.”

(I pull her up on the computer and notice we do not have any insurance information on file.)

Me: “We do not have insurance on file for you. Do you have insurance you would like us to bill?”

Customer: “Yes.”

(Usually the customer gets a card out so I give her some time, but she just stares at me waiting, so I ask:)

Me: “Do you have the card with you?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Right now this costs $89.75, but your insurance should bring that down. We will need the insurance information located on your card to bill them. Would you like some time to go get it?”

Customer: “It has never cost more than $5 before.”

Me: “Okay, hold on.”

(I look to see if we have another file for her that may have her insurance listed but none come up.)

Me: “I’m sorry we don’t have your insurance information. Have you filled with us or at another location? Or could it be under a different last name?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: *frustrated at this point* “Okay, then, there are a few options. You can find your insurance card and we can run it through, or you can pay the $89.75 and come back later with the insurance card for a refund. We have seven days to do a refund in store. After that we would have to send it to corporate and it could take several weeks.”

Customer: “”But it has never cost more than $5.”

Me: “I understand. I am sure the price will go down as soon as we get your insurance information. Would you like to go get your card?”

Customer: “I don’t have a card. I’ve never had a problem before.”

Me: “Where did you get your prescription last?”

Customer: “[Different pharmacy].”

Me: “We are not connected with them and cannot access their files.” *I give her the two options again*

Customer: “This is ridiculous; it should only be $5! You should have my insurance!”

Me: “Actually it is your responsibility to carry your insurance card. Most people carry them in their wallet.”

Customer: *walks away*

Coworker: “She must think your name tag says magician not technician.”

Missed Out On The iFad

| UK | Extra Stupid, Technology

Me: “[Support], how can I help?”

Customer: “My iPad won’t connect to the wifi in the hotel!”

Me: “Okay, any error messages?”

Customer: “Nope.”

Me: “Okay, I need your MAC address to see if you’re associated with our network. Go to settings/general/wifi address.”

Customer: “I don’t have general.”

Me: “Okay, you should have. Settings/general. Fourth option down?”

Customer: “No, not there.”

Me: “What have you got?”

Customer: “Settings/more networks.”

Me: “You sure it’s an iPad?”

Customer: “Yes, it’s got Samsung on the back!”