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  • A Caffeinated Christmas Miracle
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  • Category: Extra Stupid

    This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

    Upend The Send

    | OH, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

    (Our branch has just got a new drive through carrier system. The old system had canisters that opened the long way by flipping open but this new system has canisters that open by twisting the ends. All of the employees have been talking customers through the difference all week.)

    Me: “Hello. How are you doing today?”

    Customer: “How do I open this canister?!”

    Me: “It is different than the old canisters. These canisters open by twisting the ends. Once you’re set, send it in and I can get that taken care of for you.”

    Customer: “Well, how do I send it in?”

    Me: “Press ‘send,’ sir.”

    Customer: *dinging call button* “What does this ‘call teller’ button do?”

    Me: “It calls a teller, sir.”

    Customer: *dinging call button* “I put it in there, why won’t it go?”

    Me: “Press ‘send,’ sir.”

    Customer: *dinging call button* “It won’t go!”

    Me: “You’re pushing call…”

    Customer: “Why?!”

    Me: “Uh…”

    Comic: A Heady Proposition

    | Pennsylvnia, USA | Comics, Extra Stupid, Spouses & Partners, Top

    Calling About Calling

    | Canada | Bizarre, Extra Stupid

    (I work at a customer service desk. I answer the phone with my usual greeting. The customer on the other line starts screaming.)

    Customer: “WHY DID YOU CALL ME?!”

    Me: “Ma’am, you called us… Was there anything I could help you with?”

    Customer: “WHY. DID. YOU. CALL. ME.”

    Me: “Did someone leave a message on your machine?”

    Customer: “Yes. It was you. Why did you call me?”

    Me: “Well, it wasn’t me personally. What did the message say?”

    Customer: “It said I had an order ready for pick up. Why did you call me?”

    Me: “It would appear you have an order… for pick up…”

    Thinking Way Outside The Box

    | USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid

    (It was getting to the end of the day at the bank. One of my tellers and a banker are in the drive-thru, starting to pack things up, when a customer pulls into one of the farthest lanes from the building.)

    Customer: “I need to get into my safe deposit box.”

    Teller: “Sure thing. I can let one of the bankers know that you will be coming in to get into your box.”

    Customer: “No. I’m not coming in. I just want to get into my safe deposit box.”

    Teller: “Well the safe deposit boxes are inside. They are inside the vault. The only way to get in the box is to go in the vault.”

    Customer: “I know. I told you I am not coming inside. I just need to get into my safe deposit box.”

    Teller: “How are you going to get your box out of the vault that is inside if you don’t come inside? Bank employees don’t have access to the safe deposit boxes because they contain your property. YOU have the key.”

    Customer: “LOOK I TOLD YOU I’M NOT COMING INSIDE. ARE YOU GOING TO GET MY SAFE DEPOSIT BOX OR NOT?!”

    Teller: “Seriously?”

    Unaware Of How Unaware He Is

    | Buffalo, NY, USA | Extra Stupid, Hotels & Lodging

    (I work at a hotel that accommodates a lot of business travelers during the week. Shortly after checking in a sharply dressed executive type, I get a call from his room.)

    Guest: “Hey, I think your sink is broken. I keep waving my hand in front of the sensor and nothing’s happening.”

    Me: “There is no sensor, sir. Just turn the faucet on.”

    Guest: “Oh! Okay, great! And I can just use these towels to dry my hands, right?”

    Me: “Um… absolutely.”

    Guest: “Great! Thanks!”

    (A few minutes later he calls down again.)

    Guest: “Hi there! Just curious. Is this remote for the TV or something else?”

    Me: “It’s for the TV, sir. There should be a list there of local and premium channels as well.”

    Guest: “Oh good! Just wanted to make sure.”

    (And in another few minutes…)

    Guest: “Hi, sorry to bother you again but I’m expecting a phone call in a little bit. When the phone rings, do I just pick up or…?”

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