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    Category: Extra Stupid

    This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

    Three-dom Isn’t Free

    | TX, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Math & Science

    (I’m a cashier at the local supercenter and I’m working the afternoon shift. We have impulse candy racks at the end of each register that come in both normal and king-sized packages. Under the price tags is a strip that reads “all king-sized candy bars three for $3.” A customer approaches my register.)

    Customer: “The candy is three for $3 dollars, yes?”

    Me: “Yes, sir. The king-sized candy bars are all three for $3.”

    (The customer grabs a few of the candy bars from the candy rack and sets them down on the conveyor belt with the rest of his items. I check them all out like normal and I notice that he had purchased two candy bars for $0.68 and one king-sized candy bar for $1. The customer gives me a strange, irritated look as I hit the total button on my keyboard.)

    Customer: “The candy was three for $3. You said it was three for $3.”

    Me: “Yes, sir, the king-sized candy bars are all 3 for $3. You bought two candy bars that cost $0.68 and one king-sized candy bar for $1.00.”

    Customer: “But your sign says three for $3! Why is it not $3 for these candy bars!?”

    Me: “Because, sir, the candy bars that you purchased amount to less than $3.00.”

    (The customer went silent for a moment, though his irritated expression never left his face. He paid for his merchandise without another word and left. I stood there for a few moments trying to figure out what kind of math he was using.)

    Not Exactly Heavy Math

    | Roscoe, IL, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Math & Science

    (I just finish helping someone when a young man walks up to me.)

    Customer: “Do you guys sell ice cubes?”

    Me: “Yes. Would you like an 8-pound bag or a 16-pound bag?”

    Customer: “What’s the difference?”

    Me: “The 16-pound bag holds twice as much ice cubes as the 8-pound bag.”

    Customer: “Is that the heavier one?”

    Rage Against The Machine, Part 3

    | USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Technology

    (I have finished ringing up a customer’s purchase when he is paying with a debit card at the card reader. My computer tells me the customer clicked the ‘cancel’ button on the machine.)

    Me: “Sir, please re-slide your card and press the green button for credit.”

    Customer: *to his wife* “They should make these things all work the same way.”

    Customer’s Wife: “Honey, it says right there to press the green button for credit.”

    Customer: “I shouldn’t be expected to read that.”

    Related:
    Rage Against The Machine, Part 2
    Rage Against The Machine

    Honesty Unplugged

    | Winnipeg, MB, Canada | Extra Stupid, Technology

    Caller: “Hello, my— Oh, s***, wait. Never mind, I forgot to plug it in. I swear I’m getting dumber every year.” *click*

    Me: “… Well, all right, then.”

    (Wrong numbers notwithstanding, that was the shortest call of my career.)

    Pull The Plug On The Appointment

    | WA, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

    (I work in a fireplace store. I take a call from a customer.)

    Me: “Thank you for calling [Store]. How can I help you?”

    Customer: “Yeah, the fan on my stove isn’t working.”

    Me: “Oh, no. That’s not good!”

    Customer: “Yeah. So what’s wrong with it?”

    Me: “Well, hard to say over the phone. It could be a number of things. If you’d like I can set up a service appointment and have one of our techs check it out. Please be aware that we are booked out about two weeks.”

    Customer: “Seriously!? What the h***! I’m cold!”

    Me: “Well, you have to option to bring the fan into our shop; it’s cheaper and you can do that pretty much anytime.”

    Customer: “No, I’m not really comfortable working on this thing.”

    Me: “Is your stove working?”

    Customer: “Yeah.”

    Me: “So just your fan isn’t operating? ”

    Customer: “Yeah.”

    Me: “Does it make any noises or grinding sounds?”

    Customer: “It’s not doing anything at all. I just got this fan two years ago, I’ll be very unhappy with you if it’s broken already.”

    Me: “I hate to ask it, but just to make sure, have you checked to make sure that it’s plugged in?”

    (The customer completely goes off on me, calling me all kinds of names. I have permission from my boss to hang up on people who are rude to me without cause but at this point I’m not sure what to do. I let him finish his rant and just change the subject.)

    Me: “Do you want to schedule for [date two weeks from now]?”

    Customer: “I guess. How much is a service call?”

    Me: “$150.”

    Customer: “That’s outrageous!”

    Me: “Sir, we’re the cheapest around here and we’re booked out because when you’re good, you’re busy.”

    Customer: “Fine. I’ll take it but this is ridiculous. You guys are con men, ripping off old people like me.”

    (We hang up and less than an hour later, I get another call from him.)

    Customer: “Hi. Um, not sure if I talked to you earlier, but um this is… and I, um, checked with my wife and it looks like she unplugged the fan to plug in the Christmas tree lights. So, uh, I’d like to cancel my appointment. Um, thank you.” *click*

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