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    Category: Extra Stupid

    This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

    Calling About His C-Pee-Yew!

    | England, UK | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Technology, Theme Of The Month

    (I work for an IT company that provides technical support for IT equipment to customers.)

    Me: “Welcome to the [Company] support desk. You’re speaking to [My Name]. How can I help?”

    Customer: “My toilet is broken.”

    Me: “Sorry, can you repeat that? You called an IT support desk about a toilet?”

    Customer: “Yes, my toilet is blocked. Can you fix it remotely?”

    Me: “Sorry, sir. I am unable to remote on to your toilet to unblock it. You will need to call a plumber if it is that bad or use a plunger.”

    Customer: “You are supposed to be a support desk. You are not being helpful. Don’t you worry. I will call back and get another agent to help.” *click*

    (The customer did call back. The manager got on the other agent’s phone, and basically laughed down the phone at the customer, asking if he has turned the toilet off and on again, or reinstalled the cistern.)

    Separate Yourself From Sense

    | Madison, WI, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (I work as a cashier.)

    Customer: “Hi. I’d like to do two separate transactions.”

    Me: “No problem!”

    (The customer divides her groceries into two piles. I finish the first, total it, and she pays. I begin to ring up the second order.)

    Customer: “WHAT are you doing?!”

    Me: “Uh… I just completed your first order, so now I’m doing your second.”

    Customer: “But WHY did you separate them?”

    Me: “Because… you told me to?”

    (At this point, the customer behind her starts giggling.)

    Customer: “… Oh.”

    You Can’t Combat Stupidity

    | Baltimore, MD, USA | Extra Stupid, School

    (I teach a martial art sport. A girl starts in August, completes the beginner test, and graduates up into the competitive group. I advise her and her mother in writing and verbally that the girl must upgrade her national association membership from a learning one to a competitive one in order to continue her training and compete. A few months later, the girl is entering her first official tournament.)

    Tournament Manager: “I see that your daughter has a learning membership, not a competitive one. She will need to upgrade her membership before she can compete. I can offer you the use of my computer to do so.”

    (While the manager sets up the computer, I walk up to the desk and ask what’s going on. The manager tells me. The mother looks from him to me saying, with a perfectly straight face:)

    Mother: “I wasn’t told that I had to do that.”

    (I am sure my face twitches a bit when I bite my tongue. I keep quiet and maintain eye contact. The mother squirms a moment then adds:)

    Mother: “I mean, you told me to do it, but, you know, you didn’t really tell me to do it.”

    Making A Fare Point

    | Canada | Bizarre, Extra Stupid, Money, Transportation

    (I’m riding a bus watching people get on. One of the passengers walks past the fare box without paying.)

    Driver: “Excuse me! Do you have your fare?”

    Passenger: “Yeah. Here.” *shows the driver a handful of change*

    Driver: “Okay.”

    Passenger: “Okay.” *starts walking away again without putting the fare into the box*

    Driver: “Excuse me! What about your fare?”

    Passenger: *annoyed* “I have it right here!” *shows the handful of change again*

    Driver: “The fare goes in the box!”

    Passenger: “But I have my fare!”

    Driver: “And it goes in the box!”

    Passenger: *puts the change into the box, grumbling* “But I have my fare…”

    Not What They Claim To Be

    | Adelaide, SA, Australia | Extra Stupid, Language & Words

    Me: “Welcome to the [Insurance Company]. You’re speaking with [My Name].”

    Caller: “Oh, hi. I don’t have my policy number or anything, but I have my name and address and I need to ask some questions.”

    (Usually if they need to ask questions it’s for a claim.)

    Me: “That’s fine. Is this for a claim?”

    Caller: “Oh, no. It’s just a few questions about my policy.”

    (I proceed to find her on the system.)

    Me: “Okay, so this is for your home insurance policy. What can I help you with?”

    Caller: “Okay. Well, a lil’ while ago a few tree limbs and branches fell on my house and I took out a claim and I wanted to know how it’s going?”

    Me: “… Let me transfer you to claims.”

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