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  • Category: Extra Stupid

    This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

    Just Grit Your Teeth And Smile

    | MI, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Theme Of The Month

    Customer: *looking over a menu* “Anything on your menu can be made vegan, right?”

    Me: “Well, most of it. Actually if it can be there will be a capital V next to the name.”

    Customer: “So the grits are vegan?”

    Me: “No, but they can be made vegetarian.”

    Customer: “I’ll have the grits.”

    Me: “They’re vegetarian, not vegan.”

    Customer: “You’ve had the grits for awhile?”

    Me: “Yes and they’re not vegan.”

    Customer: “I’d like the grits.”

    Me: *sighs*

    Their Intelligence Is Capped

    | USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

    Customer: “Your password isn’t working on this computer!”

    Me: “Really? That’s weird. Everyone else seems to have logged in just fine.”

    Customer: “Well, it’s not working for me and I need you to fix it.”

    Me: “All right. I’ll see what I can do.”

    (I walk over to my computer and double check to make sure I have the password right when it comes to me what the problem is.)

    Customer: “Well?”

    (I glance at his keyboard and sure enough, caps lock has been turned on. I press the caps lock key and start walking back to my desk.)

    Customer: “Oh…”

    Should Go Back To Primary Level

    | Liverpool, England, UK | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (I work in a small art and bookshop. We get a lot of students coming in to get supplies.)

    Customer: ”Hi. I’m starting an art course at the college and I need some brushes.”

    Me: ”Okay. We have lots to choose from over there.”

    (I point to huge rack of brushes to my right full of oil, acrylic, and watercolour brushes.)

    Customer: ”Oh, I’m not quite…”

    Me: ”I can help you if you like? What sort of brush are you looking for?”

    Customer: ”Well, what sort of brushes are the other students buying?”

    Me: ”It’s up to you really. It’s sort of a personal preference. What do you like to paint with?”

    Customer: ”Primary colours.”

    Me: ”…”

    (Something told me she probably won’t excel at art college!)

    Not A Very Smart Cookie

    | OH, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (A customer is standing in the store looking at the case of pastries.)

    Customer: “What’s a peanut butter cookie?”

    Me: “It’s a cookie with peanut butter.”

    Customer: “What’s a chocolate chip cookie?”

    Me: “It’s a cookie with chocolate chips in it.”

    Customer: “What’s the difference?”

    Me: “The peanut butter cookie has peanut butter and no chocolate chips, and the chocolate chip cookie has chocolate chips and no peanut butter.”

    Customer: “I don’t understand the difference.” *deliberates for a few minutes* “I’ll get one of each…”

    A Vast Ocean Of Ignorance

    | Newport, KY, USA | Extra Stupid, History, Pets & Animals

    (I’m an aquarium employee. As I’m standing in the coral reef tunnel, a few high school age kids walk up near me, looking up at the fish.)

    Me: “Good afternoon, guys! Enjoying the aquarium?”

    Teen #1: “Yeah…” *to his friends, pointing at the tank* “Hey, check out the puffer fish!”

    Teen #2: “Oh, cool!” *to me* “Does it ever puff up?”

    Me: “It’s pretty used to people, and there are no predators in there, so it wouldn’t puff itself up unless maybe a diver were to startle or threaten it in the tank.”

    Teen #1: “Can you startle it and make it puff up for us?”

    Me: *wondering how or why I would even do that* “No…”

    Teen #2: *suddenly forgetting the puffer and pointing instead at the cownose stingrays in the tank* “Hey! Isn’t that what killed Davy Crockett?”

    Teen #1, Teen #3, & Me: “What?!”

    Teen #2: “Isn’t that what killed Davy Crockett?”

    Me: “Uh… no. I’m pretty certain he died at the Alamo in the 19th century…” *thinks for a bit* “Did you mean Steve Irwin?”

    Teen #2: “Yeah! Same thing.”

    Me: “Not really…”

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