Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • The True Appliance Of Science
    (1,585 thumbs up)
  • August Theme Of The Month: We Are Closed!
    Submit your story today!

    Category: Extra Stupid

    This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

    Got A Bad Feline About This One

    | USA | Extra Stupid, Pets & Animals

    (I do volunteer work at an animal shelter. A lady calls and inquires about a particular cat that she saw on our website. She agrees to come down to the shelter to meet the cat. I bring the cat out as she arrives.)

    Me: “This is [Cat]. She is a bit shy.”

    Lady: “Well, hello there!” *pets cat’s head hard*

    Cat: *backs away*

    Me: “She prefers to be petted on her back, not the head.”

    Lady: “Oh, okay.” *keeps petting cat’s head*

    Cat: *hisses and spits*

    Me: *thinking she misunderstood* “No, no. Like this.” *pets cat’s back*

    Cat: *purrs*

    Lady: “Oh, okay.” *pets cat’s head*

    Cat: *runs away*

    Me: “You know, maybe this isn’t the pet for you…”

    You Can’t Top That

    | USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (I work at a frozen yogurt shop that charges customers by weight of what they make. It is not uncommon for customers to realize it is cheaper than expected and go back to add more toppings. I am working the register. The customer puts his cup on the scale in front of the register.)

    Me: “That will be $2.86.”

    Customer: “Really? Can I go back and add more toppings or something?”

    Me: “Sure, that won’t be a problem!”

    (The customer turns to look at the pumps for hot chocolate and caramel, and then comes back to the register. He sees the large bottle of hand sanitizer on the end of the counter.)

    Customer: “Ooh! What’s this?” *pumps into cup*

    Me: “…”

    Customer: “… Well. That wasn’t very smart, was it?”

    Projecting Stupidity On To Others

    | FL, USA | Extra Stupid, Movies & TV, Technology

    (I’m standing outside an auditorium waiting for the last customers to leave so I can begin cleaning. A man holding a child comes out, irate.)

    Customer: “If I didn’t have my kid with me right now, I’d be kicking somebody’s a**!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir. Was there a problem?”

    Customer: “Yeah. Tell your guy up in the booth to stop shining f****** lights in people’s faces! My wife was looking for something! I don’t care if we were standing in front of people! The movie was over!”

    (I have no idea what he’s talking about. We only have one story to the building and no one was manning the projectors at the time.)

    Me: “Sir, I—”

    (At this point my manager cuts me off.)

    Manager: “Yes, sir. I’ll have a talk with him. We’re sorry.”

    Customer: “Good! Next time I’m kicking somebody’s a** if he shines a light in my face!” *walks away*

    Me: “What in the world was he talking about?!”

    (The manager gestures to follow him to where the guy was sitting and points back toward the window near the ceiling where the movie was projected. The customer had stood while the credits were playing and having stood, was in the glow of the light. He had looked back and blinded himself by looking at it.)

    Problem Exists Between Caller And Afterlife

    | USA | Extra Stupid, Liars & Scammers, Technology

    (I have been trying to help a customer solve a common and easily-fixed issue, but he has been arguing at every point, insisting that his computer is broken beyond repair and we owe him a new, free computer. This is despite the fact that he is several years out of his warranty, and I’ve already granted an exception to help him over the phone, because of the simplicity of the issue.)

    Me: “I know this process can sometimes be frustrating, sir, but if you can work with me just a few minutes more, then we’ll have your computer just the way you like it again.”

    Caller: “I don’t have time for this! You people broke my computer, and owe me a new one. I’m not going to jump through all these hoops just to have it break again tomorrow!”

    Me: “Sir, I understand, but—”

    Caller: “This is appalling customer service. You are refusing to grant me a very simple request. [Famous Founder of Company] will be very disappointed that I’m being treated like this!”

    Me: “Um, sir—”

    Caller: “I’m a close friend of his! In fact, we’re having lunch tomorrow—”

    Me: “Sir—”

    Caller: “I’m going to tell him all about this and you’re going to get fired!”

    Me: “Uh…”

    Caller: “Not so smug now, are you?”

    Me: “Sir, I regret to inform you, but [Founder] passed away a little over two years ago now.”

    Caller: “…”

    Me: “There was a film about it.”

    Caller: “…”

    Me: “I understand it’s painful, having to hear about your close friend from me, rather than the family, but I didn’t want you to be waiting for him at your lunch tomorrow.”

    Caller: *click*

    I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 14

    | TX, USA | Extra Stupid

    (My store is right beside a dollar store, so we tend to pop in to buy snacks and drinks on down times. Our shirts are pale blue and we wear tan aprons over them, while the dollar store workers wear black shirts with yellow name-tags, so it’d be very hard to confuse our workers for theirs. It’s been a strenuous day, so I offer to get everyone sodas and rush next door. My arms are full by the time I get to the register.)

    Old Lady: *grabs my arm hard and jerks me* “Girl! Girl, I need you to help me! You see that box of ornaments?”

    Me: *spilling the bottles of soda on my feet and pants* “Ow! Ma’am, don’t do that! That’s painful. Besides, I can’t help you. I’m on break from next door, so I can’t help you.”

    Old Lady: “You can have your break later. I need you to get me that box of Christmas decorations off the top shelf. Hurry your butt up. I’m late enough as it is.”

    Me: *pointing to my shirt* “I don’t work here, ma’am. I work next door. I couldn’t help you even if I wanted.”

    Old Lady: “Don’t you sass me. I said for you to do your job and get me that box of decorations. Are all the kids nowadays lazy? Hurry up before I call your manager up here.”

    Me: “I. Do. Not. Work. Here.”

    Old Lady: *smacks me hard on the arm* “Did I ask you to say something? I said get me that box right now before I get your manager over here! Doing your job doesn’t require talking.”

    Me: “Listen, lady! I do not work here. You just made me drop seven bottles of soda on my feet, which are already aching from helping idiots like you who don’t have the decency to even listen when they’re being told something. I do not work here. If you want some help, get an employee here, and leave me alone!”

    Old Lady: *swats at me harder* “As soon as I find your manager, you’re going to be out of a job!”

    (She goes off ranting while I pick up the sodas, a couple having popped open. A few minutes later a manager approaches me.)

    Manager: “Um, apparently, I’m supposed to fire you. How about this instead? You and the folks next door get a round of free sodas on us and a hearty apology that my employee at the register didn’t set her straight. We told her we won’t be serving her if she’s going to strike the customers.”

    Me: “Works for me. I hope she comes next door so I can refuse her any service there, too.”

    Related:
    I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 13
    I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 12
    I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 11
    I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 10
    I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 9
    I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 8
    I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 7
    I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 6
    I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 5


    Page 54/198First...5253545556...Last