November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

Category: Extra Stupid

This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

Knows Not What He Seis

| Santa Rosa, CA, USA | Extra Stupid, Holidays

(I work at the customer service booth of a major grocery store. Customers have to fill out a form to rent a carpet cleaner; I usually fill in information like the date and time for them. On the fourth of May a customer rented a carpet cleaner for 24 hours. The next day, he brings back the machine and I have him sign and date the return.)

Customer: “You got your dates wrong.”

Me: “How?”

Customer: “You put down the fifth. It’s May sixth, Cinco de Mayo. Didn’t you know?”

Needs To Be Coached On Buses

| Reykjavik, Iceland | Extra Stupid, Tourists/Travel, Transportation

Me: “These are your tickets, the bus is right out here—” *gestures to the door with a HUGE departures sign over it* “—and it will be marked with the tour name in the front window.”

Customer: “Thank you.” *the customer walks away, turns around and walks back to me* “Sorry, which bus is it?”

Me: “The bus is right out there and it’s the only one out on the lot.”

Customer: “Thank you.”

(Again he walks off, he walks out into the lot stares at THE ONLY BUS that’s there and then walks back to me.)

Customer: “Sorry, what number will be on the bus?”

Me: “The bus has the tour name in the front window and it’s the only bus departing at the moment.”

(The customer walked off for the third time, walked towards the bus, walked around the bus, and had almost walked off, when the driver caught up with him and escorted him onto the bus.)

Their IQ Has Been Frozen For A While

| LA, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

Customer #1: “Oh, you have frozen margaritas?”

Me: “Sure.”

Customer #1: *turns to friend* “Let’s get some of those!”

Customer #2: “Frozen? No, you know I only do fresh. That applies to booze, too!”

Not Playing Games With The Game

| Denmark | Bad Behavior, Extra Stupid, Technology

(I work in returns and customer service for a large electronics retailer in Denmark. A customer enters with a desktop PC, and I can tell, before he even opens his mouth, that he is going to be trouble:)

Customer: “I bought this gaming PC and it’s supposed to be the shit and hardcore and everything, but I installed a game and it’s lagging and I want a new computer.”

Me: “I’m sorry to hear that you’re having a problem; but let me just see if I can’t figure out what the problem is.”

(I take the PC out back and hook it up. Once it booted, I noticed a single game icon on the desktop. I started the game and sure enough, it was sluggish and unstable. Going on a hunch, I looked at which programs are running and found exactly what I was looking for. I pack up the computer and go back to the customer.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. I’m unable to help you with your problem, as the game is a pirated version.”

Customer: “What? This is total bull-s***. I bought this game yesterday from this store and it runs like s***.”

Me: “First of all, this game is three years old and not currently available in our store. And secondly, I can see from your µTorrent download list, that you are currently seeding the game, which is illegal. I cannot help you any further.”

(The customer hits the roof and starts ranting:)

Customer: “What? You won’t help me? What am I supposed to do with this piece of s*** computer now? It doesn’t work! Fix it.”

Me: “As I explained, I cannot help you with issues pertaining to pirated software. I’m sorry, but you’ll have to figure this out on your own.”

Customer: “I’ll just go buy an extended warranty and then smash the computer in the parking lot. You’ll have to give me a new one.”

(I try explaining to him that such abuse won’t be covered by the warranty, but he won’t listen. So while he walks inside the store carrying his PC, I calmly add a note to his receipt:)

Note: “This customer expressed intent to purchase an extended warranty for his PC and then deliberately smash the item, in order to get a refund.”

(10 minutes later I see the customer kicking his PC across the parking lot. I immediately look up recent receipts in the system and find a note on his extended warranty:)

Note: “This customer has been advised that smashing his PC intentionally will void the extended warranty, but he was adamant. We sold him the warranty, but can’t wait to refuse his claim.

(And yes, the security camera caught his little parking lot tirade.)

A Whopper Of A Mistake

, | Frankfort, KY, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(I work at a popular fast food chain which just so happens to be placed right next to a fairly popular burger place. Today I am working drive-thru for the first time when this happens.)

Me: “All right, take your time and order when you’re ready.”

Customer: “Okay, I’ll take a Whopper with no pickles.”

Me: “Um, we don’t have that.”

Customer: “That’s okay; I’ll just have a burger then.”

Me: “We don’t sell those either.”

Customer: “Then what do you have?”

Me: “We sell roast beef.”

(By this time the customer has realized something is amiss.)

Customer: “Where am I?”

Me: “You’re at [Store].”

Customer: “Oh, my god, I’m in the wrong place.”

(With that she takes off and I give her a friendly wave as she passes by. Needless to say everyone in the store is laughing as my manager comes to the front.)

Manager: “What happened?”

Me: “Customer was wanting [Burger Place] and came here by mistake.”

Manager: “That happens a lot. My favorite is when they come inside and still try to order from the wrong menu.”