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    Category: Extra Stupid

    This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

    Sadly It Isn’t Illegal To Be An Idiot

    | KY, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Technology

    (I work at a small, locally owned electronics store. 95 percent of my job is putting customer’s old home movies on DVD, but since we’re located downtown, I get a good deal of work from law firms as well. One day, a known customer comes in. He’s always slightly annoying to deal with, but he’s friends with the owner.)

    Me: “What can I do for you today, Mr. [Customer]?”

    Customer: “My lawyer gave me these videos but they won’t work in my DVD player.”

    Me: “Okay. Let me take a look at them real fast.”

    (I put the disc in my computer and notice it’s in an obscure format that needs a specific software that’s used exclusively in the legal system.)

    Me: “I see the issue. These won’t work in any DVD player. You need a specific computer software to view these.”

    Customer: “I don’t own a computer.”

    Me: “Well, that’s fine. I can easily convert these into a format your DVD player can read.”

    Customer: “Great. Can I get six copies of it?”

    Me: “Sure thing. I should have it ready for you tomorrow morning.”

    (I take the discs, make a DVD out of the video and the make the requested copies. The next day, the customer picks up his order along with the original discs his lawyer gave him. About a week later he returns.)

    Customer: “These discs don’t work.” *hands me the originals*

    Me: “These are the discs your lawyer gave you.”

    Customer: “Yeah, they won’t work in my DVD player.”

    Me: “Right. Remember I told you need a computer to view these discs?”

    Customer: “But I don’t have a computer! All the other discs you gave me work fine. Why won’t these work?”

    Me: “Sir, I can’t change the information on these discs. Once the disc is written, it can’t be altered. That’s why I gave you new discs that can be played on a DVD player.”

    Customer: “Well, these are no use to me. I need something that works on my player.”

    Me: “I can do it again if you want. But since there was nothing wrong with the other discs, I’ll have to charge you again.”

    Customer: “That’s fine. I need three copies this time.”

    Me: “Sure.”

    (Once again I complete his order and have it ready for him next day. This time, to avoid confusion, I put a post-it on the originals that says ‘Must Have Computer.’ Another week passes, and he returns again.)

    Customer: “These still won’t work in my player.”

    (He hands me the discs. Right on top is my post-it note.)
    Me: “Sir, we’ve already been through this! You must have a computer to use these discs!”

    Customer: “I don’t understand.”

    Me: “These discs are in a different format. Your player won’t recognize these. That’s why we made the other discs. Twice now.”

    Customer: “Yeah, those all worked fine.”

    Me: “So why don’t you just use one of those?”

    Customer: “I gave them all away. But I need these videos for a lawsuit I’m in.”

    Me: “So you want me to do this a third time?”

    Customer: “Yeah.”

    (This time, I don’t wait. I have the customer sit next to me as I go through the whole process step by step. Once the disc is finished burning, I put it into one of our DVD players to show him it does work. I once again hand him his new disc and the original, and once again charge him. Another week passes. I’m coming back in from my lunch break when my boss approaches me.)

    Boss: “Mr. [Customer] dropped by while you were out. He said there was a problem with these discs.”

    (He hands me the discs. My post-it note still sits on top. This time I don’t say a word. I simply take the discs, sit them on a shelf in my office, and there they sit to this day. The customer never asked about them again.)

    Happily Single Minded

    | Sewell, NJ, USA | Extra Stupid, Transportation

    (While working at the DMV, I overhear the following conversation between a mother and her teenage daughter applying for her driver’s license.)

    Daughter: “My birth certificate asks if I’m single?”

    Mother: *reads birth certificate*

    Daughter: “Why is it asking if I’m single?”

    Mother: “Seriously? Think about it.”

    Daughter: *after pausing for a few moments in deep thought* “Oh, right. I guess there’s arranged marriages.”

    Mother: “… It means you weren’t born a twin.”

    Didn’t Study The Bear Necessities

    | MT, USA | Extra Stupid, Pets & Animals

    (A tourist runs into the ranger station looking really scared.)

    Tourist: “Help! There’s a grizzly bear in the parking lot. A grizzly bear! He chased my kids!”

    (The rest of the rangers and I grab our guns and run out to the parking lot to chase off the bear and make sure no one is hurt. When we get outside, we look around but don’t see the bear.)

    Rangers: *yelling* “Where is it?! Where is the bear?”

    Tourist: *pointing frantically* “It’s right there! Right there between those cars! Shoot it!”

    (We continue to look around but don’t see the bear while the tourist continues to point and scream. Finally, one of the rangers notices a marmot running between two cars.)

    Ranger: *pointing at the marmot* “Wait. Is that what you mean? That little brown animal right there?”

    Tourist: “Yes! That’s it! Shoot it, quick!”

    Ranger: “Sir, that is a marmot, not a grizzly. Marmots are just really big ground squirrels.”

    Tourist: “That’s not a grizzly? But it looked just like the picture I saw in the magazine. Are you sure?”

    Ranger: “Yes, sir. Grizzlies are much much bigger. They are taller than a person when they stand up and they weigh 500 lbs or more.”

    Tourist: *embarrassed* “It didn’t look that big in the picture.”

    Get A Sign Pointing To The Sign

    | London, England, UK | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid

    (When the ticket office is closed customers can buy tickets at the popcorn counter.)

    Customer: “Where can I buy tickets?”

    Me: “At the popcorn counter.”

    Customer: “Well… you should have a sign saying so!”

    Me: *pointing at a six-foot tall sign* “Do you mean like that one?”

    Customer: “Yes. You should get a sign like that!”

    This Customer Did A One-Eighty

    | USA | Extra Stupid, Hotels & Lodging

    (I’m new, and I have just finished helping a guest with directions to his room. He disappears into the elevator, and after a few minutes, returns.)

    Guest: “That elevator is BROKEN!”

    Me: “Huh? What do you mean, sir?”

    Guest: “I mean, I went in there, pressed the button for my floor, and the elevator went to my floor but the DOORS didn’t OPEN!”

    Me: “Did you turn around?”

    Guest: “Turn around?!”

    Me: “Yes. The doors open behind you.”

    (The guest stares at me, and then disappears back into the elevator. He doesn’t return.)

    Coworker: “Wow. In the five years I’ve been working here, that is the first time that has happened…”

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