Category: Extra Stupid

This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

Seems To Be Their Calling Card

| USA | At The Checkout, Criminal/Illegal, Extra Stupid

 

(A customer has just left after paying for their stuff with a credit card. A few minutes later…)

Customer: “Hi, again. I left my credit card behind. Have you seen it?”

Me: “Let me see.” *looks around the register, counter, and pin-pad machine* “Is it on the floor?”

Customer: “No. Well, where is it?”

Me: “I do not know.”

Customer: “You didn’t check out anyone else, did you?”

Me: “I have not.”

Customer: “I checked my purse, my pockets, and my bags. I can’t find it. Do you have it?”

Me: “No, ma’am, I haven’t seen it.”

Customer: “You have it. Don’t lie to me. It’s not right to steal credit cards. Call your manager, now! You thief! Give me back my card!”

(I call the manager up.)

Manager: “Are you sure you checked everywhere?”

Customer: “Just check him! I should be calling the police.”

(I reveal my pockets. My manager checks all around my station, and then:)

Customer: “Oh, silly me. I put it in my glasses case. Thank heavens I found it.”

(The customer leaves.)

Me: “No, no. Just forget that you were blatantly accusing me to be a thief. Feel free to leave without a heartfelt apology.”

Manager: “Don’t worry. At least the police didn’t get involved this time.”

Me: “This time?!”

Will Drive You To Despair

| Tacoma, WA, USA | Criminal/Illegal, Extra Stupid

(As an airman I am ‘volunteered’ to help with managing traffic and marshaling cars to their parking spots. While the traffic of cars is stalled I noticed a woman talking on her phone while driving. This was a few months after it became illegal to talk on your phone while driving in Washington. I walk up to her car to ask her to get off her phone while she parked as we already had multiple collisions that day.)

Woman: *finally off the phone* “My boyfriend just told me that I need photo ID to get into the air show!”

Me: “Ma’am, you need photo ID to be allowed to drive.”

This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 31

| Lewiston, ME, USA | Extra Stupid, Money

(Working at a telesales company, I sold credit cards to people who wanted them.)

Me: “So, I need your total annual income. What is it?”

Customer: “$1200.”

Me: “That’s… $1200 annually?”

Customer: “Yup!”

Me: “And…. now I need to know how much you pay for rent or mortgage each month.”

Customer: “$500 a month.”

(We go through the rest of the call rather well. At the end of the application we can usually see if they are approved or not. In this case they were not approved, so this is the rest of the conversation.)

Me: “I’m sorry but you weren’t approved.”

Customer: “What?! Why?”

Me: “Well… it’s probably because you pay more in rent or mortgage in three months than you make in a year.”

Customer: “No, I don’t! I make $1200 each month!”

Me: “Oh! So you meant that $1200 was MONTHLY and not ANNUALLY?”

Customer: “What does annually mean?”

Me: “It means yearly. How much you make a year.”

(The customer hung up. They were too stupid to be trusted with a credit card anyway.)

Related:
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 30
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 29
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 28

The Power Of One

| Boston, MA, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid

(I work as front of house staff at a theater with multiple performance spaces. On this night we have three sold out shows in our building and an incredibly high volume of patrons in line for the box office and in line to get their tickets scanned. I am the only person scanning tickets at this point and I have developed a cluster of patrons around me, plus many more behind them. I realize that to proceed efficiently, I need more organization. I address my patron cluster:)

Me: “It will really help me out if everyone can form one line please!”

Woman In The Cluster: *as though this never would have occurred to her* “OH! Because you’re only one person!”

Me: “…exactly.”

Unable To Make Contact

| MD, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, School, Technology

(I work in the IT Help Desk of a university.)

Caller: “I’m calling about the homepage for the university.”

Me: “Okay…”

Caller: “It’s terrible! I can’t see any contact information on the page at all!”

Me: “Is it [website URL]?”

Caller: “I don’t know! I’m not on that site now!”

Me: “Okay, can you tell me the URL to the site you’re having this issue with?”

Caller: “No! Your homepage doesn’t have any contact information! It’s terrible!”

Me: “Well, I’m on the [website URL], which is what our homepage is, and there is contact information at the bottom of the page.”

Caller: “That’s not good enough! You don’t have contact information on the page!”

Me: “Yes, we do. It’s at the bottom of the page.”

Caller: “Well, I’m a Harvard graduate and as an educated person, I didn’t think to look down there, so obviously the page is terrible.”

Me: “Okay, well, at the bottom of the page-”

Caller: “You’re telling me there’s the information there but I didn’t see it?!”

Me: “What I’m trying to say is that it has a place to comment on the page. If you click-”

Caller: “I’m telling you about this!”

Me: “Okay, but I don’t run the website. So, if you click-”

Caller: “This is a business call! I will never call again! I’m just trying to tell you the website sucks!”

Me: “Well, thanks for letting us know. Have a great day.”

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