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    Category: Extra Stupid

    This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

    Not So Smart-Money

    | Perth, WA, Australia | Extra Stupid, Money

    (I’m a blackjack dealer, and get many players that are confused when a blackjack (ace and 10, jack, queen, or king) beats a hand with a total of 21.)

    Player: “How did your hand beat mine? We both have 21.”

    Me: “I have blackjack and you have 21. Blackjack is a winning hand.”

    Player: “It’s like the casino just wants to make money.”

    No Vocation For Location, Part 9

    | Folkestone, Kent, UK | Extra Stupid, Money, Tourists/Travel

    (I am serving two customer, who are talking amongst themselves.)

    Customer #1: “You off on holiday then?”

    Customer #2: “Yeah, off to France. Need to get my money!”

    Customer #1: “What do they use in France anyways?”

    Me: *having overheard* “They use the Euro over there, madam.”

    Customer #1: “Nah, they don’t! France ain’t in Europe! It’s just across the Channel!”

    (Folkestone is a port on the English Channel separating the UK and France, and is just 26 miles away from the French town of Calais!)

    Related:
    No Vocation For Location, Part 8
    No Vocation For Location, Part 7
    No Vocation For Location, Part 6
    No Vocation For Location, Part 5
    No Vocation For Location, Part 4

    Artificial Unintelligence

    | Raleigh, NC, USA | Bizarre, Extra Stupid, Technology

    (It’s near closing. A coworker and I are doing some paperwork when a client comes in.)

    Client: “Do you use WordPress?”

    Coworker: “No.”

    Client: “Then what do you use?”

    Me: “For what exactly?”

    Client: “Web design.”

    Me: “Well, sir, none of us here do any web design.”

    Client: “Then what is the point of your job?”

    Coworker: “We fix computers.”

    Client: “Aw, man. Don’t you know you are gonna be replaced by robots?”

    Me: “What?”

    Client: “Yeah. They got these robots that look just like you or me. They can do everything. They even be secretaries. They can cross their legs and everything.”

    (The client attempts to cross his legs while standing and nearly falls down.)

    Me: “Sir, the robots currently available have very little AI and have mostly just mastered walking.”

    Client: “Man, don’t you know… THE ROBOTS ARE COMING!”

    Coworker: “When the robots break down, who will fix them?”

    Client: “Well, people, I guess.”

    Coworker: “That’s right! Adapt or die, baby!”

    Doesn’t Have A Thought For Food

    | Scottsdale, AZ, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (I have worked at this restaurant for three years, but for the past six months I have only worked on Sundays. I am covering a shift for a coworker on a Saturday, a day when all of the hamburgers on the menu are half price.)

    Me: “Is everybody ready to order?”

    Customer: “Well, I get the same thing every week but, since apparently you’re new, I guess I’ll have to order today.”

    (I decided it wasn’t worth arguing that I most definitely wasn’t new.)

    Me: “Okay… What would you like?”

    Customer: “I want it medium well, with fries extra crispy.”

    Me: “What is it that you want medium well?”

    Customer: “My hamburger.”

    Me: “Which hamburger would you like?”

    Customer: “The same one I always get!”

    Me: “I understand that ma’am, but as you already mentioned, I haven’t served you before so I don’t know what you usually order.”

    Customer: “Fine!” *to her husband* “What do I usually get?”

    Husband: *shrugs*

    Customer: “Ugh. I just want a regular burger medium well!”

    Me: “Okay, so a plain hamburger medium well with extra crispy fries.”

    Customer: “No! I don’t want a plain hamburger!”

    Me: “I’m sorry. What did you want on your burger?”

    Customer: “Cheese!”

    Me: “Okay. What kind of cheese?”

    Customer: “Swiss!”

    Me: “Okay so that’s a Swiss cheeseburger medium well?”

    Customer: “And bacon!”

    Me: “Okay, so a bacon cheeseburger with Swiss and extra crispy fries?”

    Customer: “Yes! Was that so hard?!”

    Beware Of Customers Bearing Gifts

    | CO, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Love/Romance, Top

    (I am working as a cashier during the holiday rush. One of my jobs is to ask each customer if they would like a gift card or gift receipts with their purchase. I have just finished ringing up a woman and have moved on to her boyfriend, who only has one item: pants, clearly for himself.)

    Me: “How’s it going today, sir?”

    Customer: “Good. You?”

    Me: “Good thanks. Would you like any gift cards or gift re—”

    Customer: “No, man. I’m good. Just ring me up.”

    (I nod and continue the transaction. I tell him the total. He slides his card and I press the button that prints the receipt, also clearing the transaction from on screen.)

    Me: “Here’s your receipt.”

    Customer: “Can I get a gift receipt?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir. It’s already too late.”

    Customer: “What?!”

    Me: “Well, sir, since you already confirmed the transaction and it has gone through the system, you would have to return the item and re-buy it to allow me to get to the gift receipt option.”

    Customer: “Are you kidding me? What happens if the pants don’t fit and I need to return them?”

    Me: “We do offer a 30-day return policy. All you need is the original receipt, which I just gave you.”

    Customer: “This is bulls***! What happens if it takes me longer than thirty days to decide if they fit?”

    (Before the customer gets anymore worked up, his girlfriend jumps in.)

    Girlfriend: “Don’t worry about it, honey. He asked you at the beginning of the transaction if you wanted a gift receipt. You said no. Now you have to deal with it. Now let’s go before you gotta walk out of this store single.”


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