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    Category: Extra Stupid

    This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

    Warning: IQ May Be Inversely Proportional To Wavelength, Part Two

    , | Australia | Extra Stupid, Funny Names, Technology

    (I work in the sporting department with another coworker. A customer comes up.)

    Customer: “Hey, uh, do you have that thing? Where you put stuff in the thing and the thing turns it?”

    (My coworker and I exchange confused glances.)

    Me: “Sorry. What do you mean?”

    Customer: *attempting to use confusing hand gestures* “You know, that thing where you put the stuff in the thing, and it turns and gets hot?”

    Coworker: “You mean a microwave?”

    Related:
    Warning: IQ May Be Inversely Proportional To Wavelength

    They Should Screen Customers Like This

    | St. Louis, MO, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Extra Stupid, Technology, Theme Of The Month

    (We have a touch screen tablet/kiosk in store that allows you to create a playlist for making custom CDs. One day, a man is shouting and punching the screen trying to get it to work. I come over to help him.)

    Customer: “This f****** thing is broken. It won’t accept any of the letters when I press them!”

    Me: “Please be gentle with the device. I’ll show you how easy it is to use.”

    (I show him, and after a few minutes he tries again, pressing the space between the letters instead of any actual letters.)

    Customer: “Your cheap-a** tablet is the reason I can’t figure it out!”

    (I just stand there letting him vent, all while finishing his list of songs. When it is done he wants to enter his name, and goes back to jamming the screen with his finger and cursing loudly.)

    Me: “I will finish it for you. The total will be [total].

    Customer: “That’s way too expensive! Never mind.”

    (The customer then just simply walks away. I turn around to see my coworkers laughing at me. Great days in retail!)

    Common Sense Has Left The Ranch

    | Victoria, BC, Canada | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (I am working at a sandwich shop while in high school. I have just made a sandwich for a customer and gone into the back to grab a few things. The customer returns to the counter to talk to my coworker.)

    Customer: “This is totally unacceptable. I want a new sandwich made!”

    Coworker: “What seems to be the problem?”

    Customer: “My sandwich has ranch on it. I hate ranch!”

    Customer’s Boyfriend: “Yes, my girlfriend hates ranch dressing. She would never order a sandwich with ranch!”

    Customer: “You should really check with people before you start making their food, you know!”

    Coworker: “I’m sorry. Let me get another sandwich started for you. What kind did you order?”

    Customer: “Chicken bacon ranch. Oh, but no bacon!”

    You Wouldn’t Beliebe It

    | TX, USA | Extra Stupid, Musical Mayhem

    (We have pre-teen Justin Bieber cut outs in our store, along with party accessories.)

    Customer: “I was wondering if you have any ‘Justine Bieber’ stuff.”

    Me: *thinking nothing of how she said the name* “Right this way! We have the pre-teen Bieber, if that’s what you’re looking for.”

    Customer: “No, I was wanting the cut out stand. You know, the cardboard ones you can buy.”

    Me: “OH! Yes, I don’t think we have any set up in the store, but we have some in the back. They’re $34.97 for one.”

    Customer: “That’s really high!”

    Me: “I agree. It’s a bit much for some cardboard, but girls seem to love owning them.”

    Customer: “That’s true. My granddaughter keeps asking for one.”

    Me: “Well, let me just look in the back to see if we have one.” *goes to back and brings out a still-packaged cut out*

    Customer: “Oh, this one is pre-teen, too.”

    Me: “Yes. I’m afraid we don’t have any new Bieber items.”

    Customer: *frowning at the cut out* “Just as well. I don’t really like my granddaughter having this Bieber stuff. Have you see how she looks?”

    Me: “Sorry? Your granddaughter?”

    Customer: “No, ‘Justine Bieber.’ She’d be so much prettier if she’d grow her hair out, is what I mean. With her hair all spiked up how it is, she looks like a lesbian!”

    Not The Cream Of The Crop, Part 2

    , | USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (One very early morning, I have just made a customer a hot mocha.)

    Customer: “Um, I think there’s something wrong with my drink. It’s really cold. It’s not even lukewarm!”

    Me: “I’m so sorry! Maybe I hit the iced button by accident. Let me remake that for you.”

    (I proceed to remake the drink, being extra careful to make it perfectly.)

    Me: “All done! Again, sorry about that.”

    (The customer takes a tiny sip and slams the cup back on the counter.)

    Customer: “It’s still cold!”

    Me: “Sir… that was the whipped cream. Your coffee is underneath it.”

    Related:
    Not The Cream Of The Crop

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