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  • September Theme Of The Month: Overheard!

    Category: Extra Stupid

    This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

    Doesn’t Quite Get The Message

    | Portland, OR, USA | Bad Behavior, Extra Stupid

    (I am a receptionist and all incoming calls come to me, I also have two coworkers with the same first name.)

    Me: “Good afternoon, [Company].”

    Customer: “I missed a call from this number.”

    Me: “I am sorry. All incoming calls come through my desk and I have no way of knowing who placed an outgoing call to your number. What company are you with? I might be able to look up who your project manager is.”

    Customer: “[Other Company].”

    Me: “I am sorry, but I don’t seem to have your company in my system. Did the person that called happen to leave a message?”

    Customer: “Yes, but I don’t listen to my messages.”

    Me: “I apologize, but the best way for us to know who called you is for you to listen to the message.”

    Customer: “Fine!” *click*

    (Phone rings, it is the same customer.)

    Customer: “Can I talk to [Coworker First Name]?”

    Me: “May I ask, is that [Coworker First and Last Name #1] or [Coworker First and Last Name #2]?

    Customer: “How am I supposed to know? They only said [First Name].

    Me: “All right, did they tell you the nature of this call in the message?”

    Customer: “I don’t know; I didn’t listen that far. Just let me talk to [First Name].”

    Me: “Okay, sir, please hold while I determine which one of them called you. May I please get your name and company again?”

    Customer: “No!” *click*

    (He didn’t call back after that so I don’t know if he ever figured it out.)

    Smooth Out The Allergy Situation

    | KS, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Health & Body

    Me: “Hiya! What can I do for you?”

    Customer: “Yeah, I’d like to exchange this peanut butter.”

    (She hands me the peanut butter and the receipt.)

    Me: “Oh, okay. Any reason? Is it bad?”

    Customer: “Oh, no, it’s not bad. It’s just that it’s the chunky kind, and I need creamy.”

    Me: “Oh! Well, if you want to go grab the one you want, I’ll get you fixed up and on your way!”

    (She goes and gets the creamy peanut butter and comes back. I check the prices and hand her the right one.)

    Me: “All righty, you’re all set! Have a good day!”

    Customer: “Thank you!” *laughs* “I can’t believe I picked this up. I can’t have the one with the chunks in it. I’m allergic to peanuts!”

    (She walked off and my manager and I exchanged very confused glances.)

    If It Ain’t Broke, Book It!

    | New Zealand | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Money

    (This conversation takes place over the messaging system on my website.)

    Customer: “Hi. Are you available to come out to [Place approx 50 minutes from where I am located] to take some photos of my car club’s meet up?”

    Me: “Hi, there. What date are you having the meet up?”

    Customer: “The 18th of this month. How much will it cost?”

    Me: “Yes, I am free then. Cost will depend on how many hours you require me to be there, All your photos are included in the price and will be edited and placed on either USB or disk for you.”

    Customer: “Um, I don’t know. A couple of hours or so.”

    Me: “Okay, well, the best deal I can give you is $[total] for the first hour and $[other amount] for every half hour after that. The travel costs are included in the first hour.”

    Customer: “Oh, I can’t afford that; I’m a bit broke at the moment.”

    Me: That’s fine. Unfortunately, I cannot lower the price anymore. However, if you do change your mind let me know and I would be happy to schedule you in.

    Customer: “Bummer, Do you have a camera I could just borrow for the day? I won’t wreck it or anything.”

    Me: “I am sorry, but I cannot lend my equipment out.”

    Customer: “I will be real careful; I could even give you a $20 bond.”

    Me: “No, sorry. I am unable to do that, maybe you could ask a friend to borrow their camera.”

    Customer: “Nah, they are broke, too.”

    Me: “Okay, then. If you change your mind about scheduling in with me let me know. Have a nice day.” *bangs head on desk*

    Thoughts Are Mega-lite

    | Augusta, GA, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

    (I am working at a call center that handles cell phone services. One of our plans offers to let you add extra data for a certain amount of money.)

    Me: *confirming* “So, you wanted to pay five dollars for 500 megabytes, right?”

    Customer: “Right. And how many megabytes is that?”

    Freely Bathing In Stupidity

    | Hiram, GA, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Money, Pets & Animals

    (The pet store I work at sells coupon books for $20 that are meant for people who are planning to buy puppies or have just bought them. They greatly help with a lot of the up-front cost and include a sign-up for the customer to continue receiving coupons through their email. A customer comes up with a grooming slip to pay for her dog’s grooming. She is holding a puppy kit and reading it over.)

    Me: “Hey, how are you today? Find everything okay?”

    Customer: “Yeah. Hey, am I allowed to take this book thing home with me and decide later if I want to come back and buy it?”

    Me: “Um, no, ma’am. You have to purchase merchandise before you are allowed to leave the store with it.”

    Customer:” Oh… Well, I guess I don’t want it then. Maybe I’ll get it some other time.”

    (She puts the puppy kit back with the ones at the register and places the grooming slip and a coupon on the counter. I notice the coupon is for $5 off the grooming. In the puppy kit, there is a coupon for a free puppy bath which is what is listed on the grooming slip. To try and save her some money, I decide to explain that to her.)

    Customer: “Hmm… sounds good. I’ll take it.”

    Me: “So you do want to get a puppy kit?”

    Customer: “No.”

    Me: *confused look* “Then what are you wanting to get, ma’am?”

    Customer: “Just the free bath.”

    Me: “Ma’am, the coupon for the free bath is in the puppy kit.”

    Customer: “So, I’ll take the coupon. But I don’t think I want the kit today.”

    Me: “Ma’am, unless you purchase the book I can’t just give you a free bath. It’s a coupon included in the puppy kit and you can’t use the coupons without buying it first.”

    Customer: “Oh… Well, I don’t want the kit thing tonight.”

    Me: “Okay. I’ll just run it through with the $5 coupon, then.”

    Customer: “Yeah, that would be good. Since I can’t get the bath for free without the book, I’ll at least save something that way…”

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