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    Category: Extra Stupid

    This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

    Listen For Those Nuggets Of Information

    , | UK | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (I take orders in the drive-thru.)

    Me: “Hi, can I take your order, please?”

    Customer: “Can I have a large chicken nugget meal, please?”

    Me: “Sure, what drink?”

    Customer: “LARGE. CHICKEN. NUGGET. MEAL.”

    Me: “Yeah. What drink?”

    (The customer rolls their eyes and sighs before making some comment to the passenger about ‘kids these days.’)

    Customer: “Chicken—”

    Me: “Yes. I heard you say large chicken nugget meal the first time. I asked you what drink?”

    Customer: *laughs* “Oh. Coke!”

    Me: “Any dips?”

    Customer: “COKE!”

    Going Totally Off The Wall

    | CA, USA | Extra Stupid, Home Improvement, Top

    (I work for a company that builds homes and develops land. As per California law, we warranty our homes for a ten-year period after the house is bought. Our warranty covers structural defects.)

    Me: “Warranty. [My Name] speaking. How can I help you?”

    Caller: “Hello, my house has a structural defect. I want you to fix it.”

    Me: “Okay, ma’am. Could you give me your address? And what exactly is the defect in question?”

    Caller: “My address is [address].”

    Me: “Okay, I see you in our system. Could you tell me the problem, and I will see what I can do about entering a ticket for you.”

    Caller: “The walls are not strong enough. You have to send someone here to put in better walls.”

    Me: “The walls are not strong enough? Are they bowing, or cracking?”

    Caller: “No, the ones that are still standing are fine.”

    Me: “The ones that are… still standing…?”

    Caller: “Yes. I wanted to remodel to make my living room and kitchen one big room, but it was too expensive. I saw a demolition crew do wall removals on those home improvement shows, so I just got a chainsaw and cut the wall out myself.”

    Me: “Okay… so you ‘remodeled?’”

    Caller: “Yeah! But then my house caved in.”

    Me: “… Ma’am, are you saying you cut down a load-bearing wall in your home with a chainsaw?”

    Caller: “Well, I didn’t know it was load-bearing. But this is clearly a structural defect! The roof caved in, and I’ve been living here for 16 years! I could sue you for endangering my life all this time!”

    Me: “Ma’am, it was not a structural defect.”

    Caller: “How can you say that?! THE ROOF CAVED IN!”

    Me: “Because you chopped down a load-bearing wall!”

    Caller: “THIS IS NOT MY FAULT! I DESERVE A BRAND NEW HOUSE! IT WAS A STRUCTURAL DEFECT, AND I HAVE A WARRANTY!”

    Me: “Your house was under warranty for 10 years. Your house is 16 years old. It was structurally sound until you made it structurally unsound, by CUTTING OUT A LOAD-BEARING WALL WITH A CHAINSAW.”

    Caller: “YOU OWE ME A NEW HOUSE! YOU OWE ME A NEW HOUSE! I’LL SUE! I’LL SUE YOU!” *click*

    Actually Wore Her Name Out

    | Battle Creek, MI, USA | Extra Stupid, Funny Names

    Me: “Thank you for calling [Company]. How may I help you?”

    Caller: “Before I tell you anything, I want to know your name. I’m not about to be taken advantage of. I’m old.”

    Me: “That’s no problem, ma’am. My name is Chelsea. ”

    Caller: “What did you say? Carly?”

    Me: “No, ma’am, Chelsea.”

    Caller: “Casey?”

    Me: “Chelsea, with a “C.H.”"

    Caller: “Patchy?”

    Me: “… Yes.”

    Rage Against The Machine, Part 2

    | Sydney, NSW, Australia | Extra Stupid, Technology, Wild & Unruly

    (I am a regular at an internet cafe and am quite friendly with the staff. I’m at the front counter chatting with one of them, while there is a young lady working on one of the computers that’s becoming visibly more and more frustrated. Eventually she slams her fists down on the keyboard. The staff member looks up from our conversation and goes over to see what’s wrong as I listen in.)

    Staff: “I’m going to have to ask you not to do that, miss, or you’ll have to pay for any damages. Is something wrong? Can I help you with anything?”

    Customer: “The computer won’t respond to me! It’s not sending the email I wrote up!”

    Staff: “Okay, I might be able to help you with that. How are you sending the email?”

    Customer: “You don’t understand. The computer won’t respond to me! It won’t do what I want it to!”

    Staff: “I understand, miss, but you’ll need to explain to me exactly what you’re trying to do so I can help you.”

    (Suddenly the customer goes ballistic and starts screaming at the staff member.)

    Customer: “CAN’T YOU UNDERSTAND THAT I HATE COMPUTERS?! I HATE COMPUTERS! I HATE COMPUTERS! I HATE COMPUTERS!”

    (With this the customer picks up the keyboard and slams it down on the desk before pushing past the stunned staff member and running out of the internet cafe. The staff member eventually picks up and unplugs the now broken keyboard as I wander over to him.)

    Me: “Why would she be in here trying to send an email if she hates computers?”

    Staff: “I don’t know, but I’m going to go have a smoke.”

    Related:
    Rage Against The Machine

    Something Fishy Going On Here

    | NY, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (I work in a sandwich shop. It is just my boss and me in the shop when a customer comes in.)

    Me: “Hi! What can I get for you today?”

    Customer: “Hi. Could I please have a medium tuna sandwich, please?”

    Me: “Tuna fish? All right.”

    Customer: “Wait, it’s tuna FISH?”

    (Thinking she thought I meant simply slabs of fish, I explained what our product was.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, I don’t mean just pieces of fish. It’s tuna salad – albacore tuna fish mixed with mayonnaise and celery.”

    Customer: “Yeah, but it’s still fish, and I hate fish. Why don’t you sub shops just have tuna? Why is it always tuna fish everywhere I go?”

    (My boss had to make the woman’s sandwich, because I couldn’t fathom what was going on.)

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