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    Category: Extra Stupid

    This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

    Has A False Sense Of Security

    | NM, USA | Extra Stupid, Money, Theme Of The Month

    (I work outside of an ATM at night. I drive a company vehicle with the word SECURITY and the company phone number on both sides. One night a woman pulls up to the ATM. She sits in her car for a few minutes, and I can’t see through the tinted windows. Eventually the door flies open, and she runs as fast as she can into the small room where the ATM is. I can’t actually see the ATM or what she’s doing until she comes back to the door, but she comes to the door, leans against it, and watches me intently. I don’t do anything, but I know where this is going. After a few minutes and realizing I don’t want to waste the police’s time, I move the car to a parking spot (passing the bank door so she can see the side of the car), and get out of the car. As soon as I open the car door, she bolts as fast as she can from the bank into her car. Then she rolls down the window an inch, sees me (in a security uniform, with a badge on it) and screams:)

    Customer: “I DON’T KNOW WHO YOU ARE OR WHY YOU’RE WATCHING ME, BUT I’M GOING TO CALL THE NUMBER ON THE SIDE OF YOUR CAR AND GET YOU ARRESTED! CREEPY PERSON SITTING OUTSIDE THE BANK! DON’T FOLLOW ME!”

    (I never heard anything more about this incident, so she must not have called, but I can’t understand how she saw the number, but not the SECURITY written right above it.)

    Needs To Pour Oil Over Troubled Water

    | LA, USA | Bigotry, Extra Stupid, Technology, Transportation

    Customer: “I need to know where the motor oil is.”

    (I tell her, but she comes back to the counter with a bottle of transmission fluid.)

    Me: “Ma’am, that’s not oil. It’s transmission fluid.”

    Customer: “What do you know about it? You’re a girl. Just ring me up.”

    (I ring her up. She pays and goes outside, pops the hood of her car, and gets on the phone. Two minutes later, she’s back.)

    Customer: “I needed oil. You sold me the wrong thing. I need to exchange this.”

    Me: “Okay. Do you need some help? It’s slow. I can do this for you.”

    Customer: “What, do you think you know about cars? I’m on the phone with my husband and he knows more about it than you do. Just do the d*** exchange so I can get some oil.”

    (I do the exchange. She comes back up with oil.)

    Me: “Ma’am, that’s 50 weight. You don’t want that, you want 40 weight.”

    Customer: “This is what my husband said to get.”

    Me: “Oookay. Are you sure you wouldn’t like me to help?”

    Customer: “No. You’re a girl and you don’t know what you’re talking about. My husband works for [Company] and he knows way more about it than some clerk!”

    Me: “Well, maybe he does, Ma’am, but he’s not here.”

    Customer: “Just ring me up.”

    Me: “Okay, if you’re sure you don’t need help.”

    Customer: “I don’t need your help.”

    Me: “Yes, Ma’am. You have a nice day, now.”

    Customer: “Whatever.”

    (I watch through the front window as she went back to her SUV and smugly poured her oil… into her radiator. I wonder what her husband said when her engine blew up halfway across the causeway.)

    Not Reassuring To Those Doing Insuring

    | OH, USA | Extra Stupid, Money

    (I work for an insurance company. Sometimes we issue customers a card with funds for things like hotel and food. While our call center is there 24 hours, we have limited access, particularly to information relating to payments and funds. As these things are rarely ever an emergency we’re asked to transfer the calls to the claims associate, who is typically out on Saturday.)

    Customer: “I got a credit card from your company that I can’t access. And I can’t reach the adjuster.”

    Me: “Okay. It’s Saturday today and I don’t think anyone is in.”

    Customer: “You guys should have a phone number somewhere where I can call and get the pin number. Or have it on file or something.”

    Me: “I’m afraid we don’t. Was there not a letter with that card that had that information?”

    Customer: “Yeah, but I threw it away!”

    Mayo-Phased

    , | Fort Collins, CO, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (Two girls order a foot-long and split it. One of them wants mayonnaise and the other one doesn’t.)

    Coworker: “Do you want me to wrap this as two six inches?”

    Girl #1: “No, thanks.”

    (They take the sub and leave. About four minutes later, they walk up with a bite taken out of one half.)

    Girl #1: “You didn’t put mayonnaise on my half.”

    Girl #2: “You put mayonnaise on my half.”

    Me: “Did you try swapping them?”

    (The girls blink, look at themselves, and then at me.)

    Girl #2: “Oh, my God. I’m an IDIOT!”

    Girl #1: “I’m SOOO sorry for this!”

    (They walk away laughing.)

    Incheon Further Away From The Answer, Part 5

    | AB, Canada | Extra Stupid, Hotels & Lodging, Language & Words

    Me: “Can I help you?”

    Customer: “Yes I would like to check in please.”

    Me: “Of course, ma’am. A single room is $89.00 plus tax.”

    Customer: “Oh, okay. I’ll take it.”

    Me: *using the computer to put her information in*

    Customer: “So, are you Japanese?”

    Me: “No, I am Korean.”

    Customer: “Chinese?”

    Me: “Korean.”

    Customer: “That’s like Chinese, right?”

    Me: “No, ma’am.”

    Customer: “It’s like Japanese, then?”

    Me: “No, it’s Korean.”

    Customer: “Oh, okay. So what language do you speak? Chinese?”

    Me: “Korean.”

    Customer: “Japanese?”

    Me: “Korean…”

    Customer: “That’s like Chinese?”

    Me: “No. Korean.”

    Customer: “Like Japanese?”

    Me: “No, it’s like Korean. It’s different from Japanese and Chinese.”

    Customer: “Oh, Korean… I see! Don’t you learn something everyday?”

    Related:
    Incheon Further Away From The Answer, Part 4
    Incheon Further Away From The Answer, Part 3
    Incheon Further Away From The Answer, Part 2

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