Category: Extra Stupid

This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

Time Zone Phone Home

| Dallas, TX, USA | Extra Stupid, Geography

(The customer places an online order and wants to change some items, but it isn’t showing up yet. I tell the customer to call back in an hour to be able to check it.)

Customer: “So on what time are you located?”

Me: “Eastern time.”

Customer: “So, at what time I have to call back?”

Me: “In an hour.”

Customer: “So what time over here would that be?”

Me: “…”

It’s Better Than Just Using ‘Password’

| Malvern, PA, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

(Working on an internal IT help desk, we have a customer who calls once to twice a week because he has forgotten his password to the network or custom programs.)

Customer: “My d*** computer is broken again!”

Coworker: “Okay, [Customer], are you having trouble getting into the computer or into a program?”

Customer: “I can’t do anything! I type in my password and the d*** thing won’t take it!”

Coworker: “Okay, I’ll reset your password.”

(I reset the password and leave it blank, as usual).

Coworker: “All right, I’ve reset your password. Go ahead and try to log in now.”

Customer: “What should I use for a password?”

Coworker: “No password.”

Customer: “Is there a space in that or is it all one word?”

Time To Close The Door On This One

| WA, Australia | Extra Stupid, Technology

(I work in the IT Department for another company. Most of the support we do is over the phone but we occasionally have people drop their computer in for repair. My desk is next to a window which gives a clear view of the office parking lot from the first floor.)

Me: “IT Helpdesk. [My Name] speaking.”

Customer: “Hi, I need to drop my laptop off to be fixed. Can you come down and get it? I’m in the parking lot.”

Me: “Sure thing. I’m a bit busy right now but if you just leave it at reception, I’ll come down and grab it later.”

Customer: “Okay. How do I get into the building?”

(At this point I look out the window. I can see the customer on his phone standing in the parking lot. Directly behind him is the entrance to the building, with our company name on a sign above it.)

Me: “Through the front door?”

Their IQ Is Below Zero

| Portsmouth, England, UK | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Math & Science

(Whilst taking a customer’s cocktail order on a Friday night:)

Customer: “Is your ice fresh or frozen?”

Trying To Explain It In Black And White

, | OH, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Technology

(A customer walks in with a black & white document.)

Me: “Do you need some copies made today?”

Customer: “Yes, please. I need 20 of these, black & white.”

(I make her copies and walk back to the counter.)

Customer: “Can you make 10 in color, too, please?”

Me: “Sure, you just need them on the brighter, heavier paper that we use in the color machine?”

Customer: *stares at me like I have two heads* “NO, so that they’re in COLOR.”

Me: “You mean you want it to look like it did on the computer screen before you printed these in black?”

Customer: *frustrated* “YES!”

Me: “No color machine in the world is capable of restoring color from a black and white copy.”

Customer: “Whatever.”

(Thank goodness the customer behind her was laughing at her because I was certainly about to!)

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