Category: Extra Stupid

This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

Allergic To Common Sense, Part 5

, | Peterborough, ON, Canada | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(I’m working in the back making orders. One comes up on the screen for a burger, no tomato. The cashier gets my attention.)

Cashier: “[My Name], that ‘no tomato’ is an allergy.”

(I go through the normal process of swapping utensils, cleaning the work area and so forth. I start making the burger and pause halfway as a thought occurs.)

Me: “Hey, [Cashier], that tomato allergy? It’s no ketchup either, then?”

(The cashier asks.)

Cashier: “No, they said it’s fine. Actually they want extra.”

Related
Allergic To Common Sense, Part 4
Allergic To Common Sense, Part 3
Allergic To Common Sense, Part 2

A Confusion Intrusion

| Australia | Books & Reading, Extra Stupid

(The store I work for is famous for finding music and DVDs for customers who aren’t always certain what it is they’re looking for. As a result, we often end up special ordering for many customers, and the policy is to call to inform the customer when their order has arrived in store. If no one answers, staff are encouraged to leave a message, but sometimes customers call back anyway to let us know they’re coming in or just to ask questions. Sometimes, though, they just call because we did first…)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Music Store]; you’re speaking with [My Name].”

Customer: “Hello?”

Me: “Hello, how can I help you?”

Customer: “…Who is this?”

Me: “[My Name] from [Music Store]. Did you have an enquiry?”

(There’s a long pause in which the customer doesn’t say anything.)

Me: “Hello? Are you still there?”

Customer: “Why did you… What do you mean?”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Customer: “Why would I have an enquiry?”

Me: “I only meant… What was your reason for calling today?”

Customer: “I didn’t call you.”

(It dawns on me where the confusion must be coming from.)

Me: “You… did you have a missed call from this number, by chance? My coworker might have been calling about an order you placed.”

Customer: “What order?”

Me: “Have you placed an order with us recently? If you give me your name I can check the order for you.”

Customer: *gives surname*

Me: “Ah, yes, here it is. Your order for [Title] came in this morning. We were just calling to let you know.”

Customer: “You can do that?!”

Me: “All the time, sure. Is there anything else I can help you with today?”

Customer: “…Don’t call here again.” *click*

The Refund Is The Icing On The Cake

| MS, USA | Bizarre, Extra Stupid

(It’s the last Friday before Christmas and I have just made the final closing announcements.  A woman and her granddaughter walk in with one minute on the clock to do a return.)

Customer: *reading from receipt* “If you are dissatisfied with your purchase please return the item with this receipt for a refund.”

(I look in the box, and immediately call for a manager. The contents? An open bag of modeling clay and a brand name cake decorating icing tip.)

Me: “I’m sorry; I’ll need a manager to approve this return.”

Customer: *repeats previous statement several times*

Me: *smiles awkwardly*

(When my manager finally arrives, she is as shocked as I am, and hesitant to do the return.)

Customer: *raises voice* “I demand a full refund! The clay wouldn’t pipe like icing!”

Me: *reciting from back of receipt* “We reserve the right to research and refuse any return.”

Customer: “Why would you refuse it!?! I’m not happy with it so you have to return it.”

Me: “You mixed modeling clay with a cake decorating tip!”

Customer: “So?!”

Manager: “I’ll return the clay, but not the tip. You don’t have the original packing for it anyway.”

Customer: “This is ridiculous! Fine!! But I want your corporate number!”

(Not the weirdest return I’ve been forced to do, but probably the most insulting.)

When Crazy Requests Reach The Stratosphere

| Tulsa, OK, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Technology

(I work for a major satellite TV provider providing tech support when this customer calls in:)

Me: “Thank you for calling [TV provider]. My name is [My Name]. How may I help you?”

Customer: “Yeah, there’s nothing on my TV!”

Me: “When you say nothing is it a black screen?”

Customer: “No! It says searching for satellite signal. What is that?”

Me: “Oh, that means that for some reason either the dish isn’t picking up the signal from our satellite or else it isn’t getting from the dish to your receiver.”

Customer: “Well, then put a new satellite up there.”

Me: “Sir, I don’t believe that would—”

Customer: “You’re not paid to think, so just put a new satellite up.”

Me: “Sir, am I correct in hearing that you want us to launch a new satellite, knowing that such a process would take several months and cost millions of dollars?”

Customer: “Yes, but we both know it won’t take months. I want it done tonight, and it better not affect my bill.” *hangs up*

Totally Free From Thought, Part 3

| Australia | Extra Stupid, Money

Me: “Hi, how may I help you today?”

Customer: “Oh, yes, I’d just like to have these, please.”

(I scan both items for her.)

Me: “That just comes to [total]. Did you have [Store points card]?”

Customer: “Hang on, this should be free.”

(The customer is pointing to the second item she had purchased. It’s a spare bottle for the blender she has purchased. The part of the box she’s pointing to says BPA free.)

Me: “Ma’am, BPA free doesn’t mean the item is for free. It’s letting you know the chemical BPA wasn’t used in any plastic that could potentially contaminate your food.”

Customer: “But it says free. That’s false advertising.”

(Needless to say she decided not to buy the spare bottle.)

Related:
Totally Free From Thought, Part 2
Totally Free From Thought

Page 5/255First...34567...Last