July Theme Of The Month: Great Timing!

Category: Extra Stupid

This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

Cocoa-Loco

| Sweden | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Funny Names

Me: “Nina! Here’s your tall hot chocolate!”

(The customer takes it, walks away, and comes back.)

Customer: “What was the name?”

Me: “Nina.”

Customer: “Oh, that’s not me.”

Me: *looking at the line of drinks and not seeing any other hot chocolates waiting to be made* “…and you’re waiting for a hot chocolate?”

Customer: “No, a strawberries and cream Frappuccino.”

Me: “…”

Driving Directionless

| CT, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Transportation

(We have tricky pumps and constantly have.to explain to people how to use them…)

Customer: “The f****** pumps are not working!”

Me: “You have to push in the nozzle all the way.”

Customer: “I f****** did that. Can’t you just come and f****** help me?”

Me: “I’m busy right now; I’ll be outside in two minutes.”

(I wait two minutes and go outside and try pushing the nozzle all the way in and it doesn’t work… so I read the display screen.)

Me: “Sir, it says you need to lower the lever.”

Customer: “Well, at every other gas station you lift it up!”

Me: *slams down lever* “Well, at this gas station we follow directions.”

Getting Owned By The Owner, Part 10

| USA | Extra Stupid, Liars & Scammers

(I work in a small-to-medium size restaurant, where the owner is usually in and works alongside us. He and I are standing by the counter when the phone rings and I’m close enough to overhear the call:)

Owner: “Hello, this is [Restaurant]. How can I-”

Caller: “This is an OUTRAGE!!”

Owner: “What seems to be the problem, ma’am?”

Caller: “You got my food order all wrong! I demand to speak with the manager!”

Owner: “I happen to be the owner, ma’am.”

Caller: “…”

Owner: “Ma’am?”

Caller: “Oh. I, uh… I didn’t know the owner would actually be in.”

Owner: “Well, yes, I happen to be in today so—”

Caller: “No, I mean… I never actually ordered anything.”

Owner: *confused* “I don’t—”

Caller: “You see, I was gonna yell at the manager and hope to get a free meal by saying that I knew the owner, but…”

Owner: “… Do I know you?”

Caller: “No…”

Owner: “…”

Caller: “This is awkward.”

Owner: “Yeah, it is. Please never call back. I don’t particularly do well with customers who try to harass me or my employees, or lie in order for you to get a free meal. Have a nice day.”

(I was still somewhat surprised by her honesty, even if it was due to her total realization that it wouldn’t have worked!)

Related:
Getting Owned By The Owner, Part 9
Getting Owned By The Owner, Part 8
Getting Owned By The Owner, Part 7

Put Yourself In Her Wet Shoes

| UK | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid

(On this particular day it has been raining really heavily. Unfortunately, the shoes I am wearing have holes in them. Thankfully, my house is only over the road. I text my mum asking her to bring me a spare set of socks to wear. This exchange happens just after my mum drops off my socks. Customer #1 comes to my till as I pull off my first sock.)

Me: *sitting on a stool changing my socks* “I’ll be right with you. I just need to change my socks.”

Customer #1: “Can’t you get dressed properly before starting work? Seriously, this is unacceptable behaviour.”

Me: “Sir, I apologise. I was dressed before I left but the soles of my shoes have holes in them so my socks got wet.  I am changing them as I cannot work with wet socks.”

(Customer #2 has walked over as I say this.)

Customer #1: “What do you mean your feet got wet? There are no puddles in this store. You’re just lazy.”

(I finish changing and start to scan his shopping as he yells about how unacceptable my behaviour is and that I’m lazy. Customer #2 taps the other customer on the shoulder.)

Customer #2: “I was just wondering did you notice how wet it was outside?”

Customer #1: *rolls eyes* “Of course, it’s raining. It would be wet outside.”

Customer #2: “That’s why this young lady had to change her socks. She already explained that her shoes have holes. Or did you think she lives in the shop?”

Customer #1: *goes bright red and doesn’t say anything else*

(I smiled at the second customer and thanked him for being so helpful.)

Not So (Do)Nuts About Burgers

| Medicine Hat, AB, Canada | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(I work at a burger place, next to a coffee and doughnut shop. Occasionally we get people in drive-thru that get the places mixed up, but both drive-thrus are close to each other, A customer walks in, past three big pictures of hamburgers, and the restaurant name is posted several times.)

Customer: *looking at the menu* “Can I get an iced capp, please?”

Me: “I’m sorry; we don’t have those.”

Customer: “Oh. The machine’s broken?”

Me: “No. We’ve never had them.”

Customer: “Yes, you do. I had one last week.”

Me: “No. None of the [Restaurant] have ever had them.”

Customer: *looks around* “Oh. This isn’t [Donut Shop]. You should have told me.”

Me: “I assumed with the pictures of hamburgers all over, and lack of donuts you knew where you where.”

Customer: *looks around again, and leaves embarrassed*

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