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  • September Theme Of The Month: Overheard!

    Category: Extra Stupid

    This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

    Pouring Oil On Troubled Waters

    | Toronto, ON, Canada | Extra Stupid, Technology

    (I’m doing in-store demos of an iron that comes with a calcium filter, calcium in the water being that white stuff that comes out of your iron. A woman who purchased the iron last year comes up to me with a question.)

    Customer: “Hi there. Do you know why my iron is leaking brown liquid?”

    Me: “Did you empty your calcium filter?”

    Customer: “Oh, yes. Regularly.”

    (I’m just about to tell her to return it for a replacement when she adds…)

    Customer: “Do you think it has anything to do with the olive oil my husband accidentally poured into the water tank?”

    Me: “…”

    Entranced By The Exit

    | PA, USA | Extra Stupid

    (My son works at a drive-in theater. I drive him to work and pull in the exit/employee entrance. There are multiple signs “DO NOT ENTER” “EXIT” “EMPLOYEES ONLY”. A woman follows us in.)

    Son: “You can’t come in this way. I need you to go back out and come in the entrance.”

    Woman: “Where do I pay?”

    Son: “At the entrance.”

    Woman: “I didn’t see anyone.”

    Son: “You came in the exit. You need to come in the entrance.”

    Woman: “But I followed YOU!”

    Son: *points to shirt that says STAFF* “I work here so I can come in the employee entrance. My mom is leaving; you can follow her out.”

    Woman: “But where do I go?!”

    (By this time the owner has come out to see what is taking him so long.)

    Owner: “You go out the exit and look for the six-foot-high sign that says ENTRANCE.”

    Woman: “You mean the one with all the lights?”

    Owner: “Yes.”

    Woman: “How was I supposed to know? All I saw was DO NOT ENTER. I should get in free. This is too confusing.”

    Use Your Inside Voice Invoice

    | Tulsa, OK, USA | Extra Stupid, Money

    (I work in a cafe and store that serves a large corporate staff which works in the building, and only them. I am in the back office working on orders and balancing accounts when I overhear an exchange between a member of my staff and a customer escalating.)

    Cashier: “Okay, ma’am, all told that will be $11.30.”

    Customer: “Ya’ll are too f****** proud of your f****** food. No way in h*** am I paying that!”

    Cashier: “I am sorry, ma’am, but all our prices are clearly posted and this is the total for the items you have selected.”

    Customer: “Like h***! I worked in food, I know how it works, and this is overpriced! I want to see your b****-a** manager; where’s he hiding!?”

    (I come out of the office and address the customer.)

    Me: “Ma’am, I have heard, quite clearly, everything you have said, and I assure you the prices are right.”

    Customer: “Prove it. Prove that the s*** cost you four bucks!”

    (I dig through my paperwork and find the appropriate invoice and bring it out to the customer. She looks through it with an expert eye.)

    Customer: “See! F*** you! This s*** should have only been like $13!”

    Cashier: “Okay, ma’am, that’ll be $13.”

    Can’t Think Under The Box

    | Tulsa, OK, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    Customer: *calling* “You didn’t give me my entire order.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, what was your order?”

    Customer: “I got a 16-piece family meal, and you didn’t give me my fries!”

    (I had bagged the order myself, and knew the fries were in a box in the same bag as the box of hushpuppies.)

    Me: “Did you look under the hushpuppies?”

    Customer: “Yes, there is nothing in there but the hushpuppies.”

    Me: “No, not the same box as the hushpuppies. Did you take the hushpuppies out and look under them?”

    Customer: “Yes. We took ALL the hushpuppies out. There aren’t any fries in here at all. We are coming back up to get our money back.”

    Me: *sigh* “Did you take the hushpuppies out of the box, or did you take the box out of the bag?”

    Customer: “We took the hushpuppies out.”

    Me: “Take the box out of the bag.”

    Customer: “Oh, there’s a whole ‘nother box here.”

    Me: *in Bill Engvall voice* “Here’s your fries!”

    Putting The Dotted ‘I’s And Crossed ‘T’s Into IT

    | Quebec City, QC, Canada | Extra Stupid, Technology

    (The client made a mistake in an application form and now has to send an email asking the service to cancel it.)

    Me: “Okay, now you have to send an email to cancel the document. Here is the email address: d-i-s…”

    Client: “How do I put the point on the ‘I’?”

    Me: “I don’t understand.”

    Client: “How do I put the point on the ‘I’? You know, the dot over the letter ‘I’?”

    Me: “Huh?”

    Client: “So?”

    Me: “The computer automatically puts the dot over the letter, you don’t have to do anything.”

    Client: “Wow, technology is so great today. Before, you had to manually put dots on I’s and cross your T’s too!”

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