Category: Extra Stupid

This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

Doesn’t Know Zip About State Secrets

| CO, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid

(I’m currently standing at the register. At this time, we have to ask for a customer’s zip code before proceeding with their transaction, and we are expected to get 70% of customers per day to give us one.)

Me: “Hello, how are you today?”

Customer: “Fine.”

Me: “Can I get your zip code, please?”

Customer: “No. I work for the Secret Service and it would be a breach of national security for you to know anything like that about me.”

Me: “Um… okay.”

(I proceed to ring him out for a transaction over $100. We have to ask for ID on any transaction over a certain amount being charged to a card. The guy pulls out a card and swipes it.)

Me: “Sir, I do need to see an ID if you are using that card.”

Customer: “Okay.”

(He then proceeded to take out his ID and show it to me – which had his zip code along with all his other information.)

Will Have To Start Clover

| NY, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(I am a customer waiting to collect my coffee at a popular coffee shop.)

Barista: *setting drink on counter* “I have a latte, for Laura!”

(I reach for my drink, but before I can get to it a man picks it up. I let him, because I’ve been yelled at in the past for taking my drink when someone with the same name and same drink is also waiting for their order. He takes a sip, and spits it out.)

Man: “This is disgusting! It tastes milky; why is this milky?”

Barista: “It’s a latte.”

Man: “No, it’s not. It’s a Clover. You said it was a Clover. I want this remade. And do it right!”

Second Barista: “I have a Clover, for Mike.”

Barista: “Is that one yours?”

Me: *chiming in* “You took my latte.” *to the barista* “I’m sorry; would it be possible for me to have another one made?”

Man: “Well, why the hell didn’t you tell me I was drinking the wrong thing?”

Barista: *drops head onto counter*

No Re-Write Access

| NY, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Technology

Me: “Hi and welcome to [Company] online sales chat! My name is [My Name]. May I have your name?”

Customer: “The password on my broadband router is rubbing off and getting hard to read.”

Me: “You can re-write the password.”

Customer: “How do I re-write?”

Me: *face palm* “…Get a piece of paper, write the password on it, and tape it to your broadband router?”

Double The Trouble

| TN, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid

(As the store is quite busy on a Saturday night and there is only one cashier scheduled, I’ve taken over the customer service desk which has two registers. I am calling customers to both sides so I can help two people at once. I’ve just called the next two customers down, two of whom I have to ask to take a longer route to the secondary register on my right.)

Customer #1: *at the left side of the desk* “Why are you letting people check out over there? Won’t everyone skip the line and go to the other side for a shorter line?”

Me: “Ma’am, I called them from the long line. That’s the only line I’m calling from. They were kind enough to go around to the other side of the desk so I can help both of you at once. Since there’s such a long line tonight I’m doing what I can to keep the line moving.”

Customer #1: “That doesn’t seem right.”

Me: “I’m sorry about the inconvenience, but thank you for hanging in there with me while I try to get everyone taken care of. Your total is [total]. If you’ll please swipe your card at the pin-pad I’ll get these people started on the other register.”

Customer #2: *on the right side of the desk* “Since you’re doing the work of two people do you get paid twice as much?”

O, Canaduh, Part 4

| Toronto, ON, Canada | Canada, Extra Stupid, Geography

(It is a warm day in late June. The customer I am serving has a pronounced American accent.)

Me: “I couldn’t help noticing your accent. Where are you from?”

Customer: “Des Moines. It’s my first time in Canada.”

Me: “What do you think so far?”

Customer: “Well, I was a little shocked when we were flying in, actually.”

Me: “About what?”

Customer: “I was pretty surprised not to see snow.”

Me: “I think that Iowa and Ontario have a pretty similar climate. Is there snow on the ground there right now?”

Customer: “No, but this is CANADA.”

Related:
O, Canaduh, Part 3
O, Canaduh, Part 2
O, Canaduh

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