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  • September Theme Of The Month: Overheard!

    Category: Extra Stupid

    This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

    H2Slow, Part 5

    | MI, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Money

    (Over the span of a month there are several university students going through orientation. We have a deal for the orientation groups in which they receive coupons for our theater, one of which is a deal for concessions. They get a popcorn, a drink, and a candy for $7. This is clearly stated on the coupon, and yet many of the students are confused about how it works.)

    Customer: “I just want a bottled water.”

    Coworker: “All right, that’ll be $2.50.”

    Customer: “But I have this coupon and I just want a water.”

    Coworker: “Right, so that will be $2.50.”

    Customer: “But I got this coupon for free.”

    Coworker: “Even if you used the deal on the coupon you would still owe me money, but since you are just getting water it will be $2.50 instead of $7.”

    Customer: “But I got this free coupon.”

    Coworker: “You still owe me money.”

    Customer: “But I just want a bottled water. I don’t want popcorn.”

    Coworker: *turning to my manager* “I really don’t think it should be this difficult to understand.”

    (The girl still didn’t understand but she paid for her water. Despite this conversation the other students were still confused as well.)

    Related:
    H2Slow, Part 4
    H2Slow, Part 3
    H2Slow, Part 2

    They Can’t Bee Serious

    | UK | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Pets & Animals

    (I work in a health food store that stocks a pretty good line of all kinds of different specialty honeys.)

    Customer: *holds up jar* “Excuse me. This honey… is it from free-range bees?”

    Having Beef With Telling Porkies

    | OH, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    Customer: “I’d like a pound of chipped beef.”

    Me: “So a pound of roast beef chipped?”

    Customer: “No, chipped beef.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, we only have roast beef and corned beef.”

    (The lady dismisses me, and then scans our meat selection.)

    Customer: “Here! Chopped ham! That’s what I’m looking for.”

    Me: *surprised* “Oh, I thought you were looking for chipped beef.”

    Customer: “That’s what that is. You take the chopped ham and chip it, and then it becomes chipped beef!”

    A Hot Slice Of Justice

    , | Grimes, IA, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (We’re getting pretty close to closing time. We’ve barely had any orders today. I’m working the kitchen with two others. Everything’s been cleaned and there’s nothing to do until another order comes in, when suddenly a customer comes storming into the store, shouting things exceptionally hard to understand, and possibly drunk.)

    Me: “Oh, lord, here we go…”

    Customer: “Where’s the kitchen guy! I WANT TO SEE THE KI—”

    Me: “Right here. You can stop yelling now. I can hear you.”

    Customer: *does actually stop yelling, probably because he had to look up to me* “Where the f*** is my pizza? I ordered a pizza over an hour ago. Now, where is it?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir, I don’t know what you’re talking about. We haven’t—”

    Customer: “WHERE IS MY ORDER!? I DEMAND TO SPEAK TO YOUR MANAGER!”

    Me: “Well, the manager is asleep. If you want, I can go back there and see if we have your order.”

    Customer: “Yeah, you do that. I want my free f****** pizza!”

    (He gives his name and address. I go to where we keep the order slips.)

    Me: “Sir, there’s no slip under either of those.”

    Customer: “WHERE IS MY GOD-D*** PIZZA! I ORDERED A PIZZA FROM THIS STORE!”

    Coworker: “Hey, why don’t you call again?”

    Customer: “What?”

    Coworker: “If you did call this store, and we took your order, it was never filled. Go ahead and call the number again. If the phone rings, we’ll give you a free pizza.”

    (He whipped out his phone, mashing the buttons until he got to the recent calls, and called the store. Our phone didn’t ring, but somebody on the other end picked up. He had placed an order at the store on the other side of town. The customer shoved his phone in his pocket and stormed out of the store without a word.)

    Gallons Of Stupidity

    | CA, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (I work at a well known grocery store, mainly working to direct searching customers to their desired products. I am walking down the dairy aisle. I spot two teenagers waiting for a time. The first customer is holding cartons of milk in his hands, and the second customer is holding out a smart phone.)

    Me: “Do you two need any help right now?”

    Customer #1: “Actually… um, yeah…”

    (Customer #1 suddenly nods to Customer #2, who raises his smartphone. I can hear the sound from his that signals the record button being pressed. At this point, I’m starting to catch on that this is a gallon smashing prank.)

    Customer #1: “Woah, woah, woah!”

    (He badly acts that he’s accidentally falling, and tosses the containers of milk into the sky, and he falls flat on his back. The cartons hit the floor, but don’t shatter or release milk.)

    Customer #2: “Crap!”

    Customer #1: “We need to redo that!”

    (I’m just standing in amazement about how bad these two are at pranking someone.)

    Me: “Sir, if you keep intentionally keep damaging our products, I’ll have to ask you to leave.”

    Customer #1: “It was an accident! I just slipped!”

    Me: “What about your friend over there recording?”

    Customer #2: “I’m just… taking a selfie!”

    (I start rolling my eyes, and go to pick up the cartons of milk. Out of nowhere, Customer #1 grabs the cartons of milk off the floor and tosses them up again. Again, nothing happens as they hit the floor.)

    Customer #2: “S***! We need another take!”

    Customer #1: “C’mon, just let us have one more try?”

    Me: “No. Get out of this store now, or I’ll call security for multiple attempts of destruction of property.”

    (The two teenagers quickly scurry out of the store, Customer #1 even tripping once during the way out.)

    Coworker: “Did those two try to do a gallon prank with cartons?”

    Me: “The world may never know.”

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