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    Category: Extra Stupid

    This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

    Incheon Further Away From The Answer, Part 5

    | AB, Canada | Extra Stupid, Hotels & Lodging, Language & Words

    Me: “Can I help you?”

    Customer: “Yes I would like to check in please.”

    Me: “Of course, ma’am. A single room is $89.00 plus tax.”

    Customer: “Oh, okay. I’ll take it.”

    Me: *using the computer to put her information in*

    Customer: “So, are you Japanese?”

    Me: “No, I am Korean.”

    Customer: “Chinese?”

    Me: “Korean.”

    Customer: “That’s like Chinese, right?”

    Me: “No, ma’am.”

    Customer: “It’s like Japanese, then?”

    Me: “No, it’s Korean.”

    Customer: “Oh, okay. So what language do you speak? Chinese?”

    Me: “Korean.”

    Customer: “Japanese?”

    Me: “Korean…”

    Customer: “That’s like Chinese?”

    Me: “No. Korean.”

    Customer: “Like Japanese?”

    Me: “No, it’s like Korean. It’s different from Japanese and Chinese.”

    Customer: “Oh, Korean… I see! Don’t you learn something everyday?”

    Related:
    Incheon Further Away From The Answer, Part 4
    Incheon Further Away From The Answer, Part 3
    Incheon Further Away From The Answer, Part 2

    Rust Or Bust

    | IL, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Transportation

    (I work in a car dealership on the service drive. A customer pulls her car onto the drive, gets out, and walks up to my desk. I can see from the scowl on her face she is clearly angry.)

    Customer: “I JUST bought this new car last week and it is already rusting! I demand you give me a new car!”

    Me: “Okay, can you show me where the rust is?”

    (We walk to her car.)

    Customer: “See, right there on the door! THAT IS RUST!”

    Me: “Ma’am, that is just a little mud. Let me get a clean towel and I’ll get that right off for you.”

    Customer: “No, you are lying! You’re just going to paint it over! I know rust when I see it! I’m not stupid!”

    Me: “Ma’am, I assure you it is not rust, and I will not put paint on it.”

    Customer: “Don’t you touch it! I demand to see the manager!”

    Me: “Sure. I’ll be right back.”

    (I come back with my manager after I explained the situation to him.)

    Customer: “See that… THAT RIGHT THERE! THAT’S RUST! I DEMAND YOU GIVE ME A NEW CAR! IT’S ONLY A WEEK OLD!”

    (My manager grabs a rag and puts it in his back pocket before walking out to speak to the customer. Without saying a word, he takes the rag out, leans down and wipes the mud off before the customer can say anything. The customer immediately gets down on her hands and knees to examine where the mud had been.)

    Manager: “There you go, ma’am. It was just a little spot of mud.”

    (The customer snatches the rag out of my manager’s hand.)

    Customer: “Let me see that! You just put paint over it!”

    (The customer examines the obviously clean and paint-free rag, then tosses it on the floor.)

    Customer: “You people need to make sure a car is clean before you deliver it to a customer! I am letting you people know you won’t get away with anything!”

    (The customer comes in regularly, and has complained similarly about MANY things on her car since, demanding a new car every time.)   

    Wishes He Could Back Up The Conversation

    , | Denver, CO, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

    (I work in our airline’s IT dept. One of our guys is finishing his shift and passes a task on to me to delete a user’s Windows profile when the user is not busy. I noticed this user has an assigned network drive with a shortcut to it on his desktop so I figure he knows how to use it.)

    Me: “So, I’m gonna remove your profile from the registry and then delete your profile folder. This will delete everything you have. Do you have all of your important documents backed up?”

    User: “Yeah, it’s all good. Go ahead and delete it.”

    Me: “Okay.”

    (I delete his profile’s registry entry and then go to delete his folder. I notice he has about 3GB of data as it builds its list to delete.)

    Me: “It seems you have three gigs of data in your profile. Just want to make sure everything that you need is backed up, because it will all be gone.”

    User: “Yeah. It’s good, man. Do what you gotta do.”

    Me: “Okay.”

    (I let the delete finish and then restart the computer.)

    User: “So, the files that were on my desktop, where do I go to get those back?”

    Me: “The files on your desktop? You told me you backed everything up, so they have been deleted.”

    User: “I’m not very savvy with computers. I don’t know what ‘backup’ means.”

    Don’t Discount A Customer’s Inability To Discount

    | UK | Books & Reading, Extra Stupid, Money

    (I work for a catalogue company and I’ve just finished taking an order over the phone. I know that each catalogue comes with a unique discount code that gives substantial savings. The customer hasn’t quoted her discount code. I decide to prompt her, so she doesn’t miss out.)

    Me: “I notice that you’re ordering from the spring catalogue. You should have a discount code on the front page.”

    Customer: “Yes.”

    Me: “Great. Could you give me the number?”

    Customer: “The what?”

    Me: “The six-digit discount code number?”

    Customer: “The ‘discount’ what?”

    (She doesn’t seem hard of hearing and we both have the same regional accent, but I speak louder and slower, just in case.)

    Me: “Discount NUMBER.”

    Customer: “The what-number?”

    Me: “The DISCOUNT NUMBER.”

    Customer: “Where is it?”

    Me: “On the front of the catalogue.”

    Customer: “I don’t see it.”

    Me: “It’s at the very top of the page.”

    Customer: “Where?”

    Me: “Along the top of the front page, in a white box.”

    Customer: *pause* “15% off.”

    Me: *finally getting somewhere* “Great! Now, if you could give me the six-digit code number at the end of that sentence.”

    Customer: “It says I get ’15% off.’”

    Me: “Okay, no problem. I just need the six-digit discount code so my computer will make the reduction.”

    Customer: “There’s nothing else here.”

    Me: “That’s odd. Can you read to me exactly what it says?”

    Customer: “To get 15% off” *stops*

    Me: “Carry on…”

    Customer: “Please quote… oh! It says here ‘DISCOUNT CODE.’ Is that what you wanted?”

    Me: “Yes please.”

    Customer: “So, have I got my discount?”

    Me: “Sure, if you give me the six-digit discount code.”

    Customer: “I don’t see it.”

    Me: “Could you read the full sentence to me?”

    Customer: “15% off.”

    Me: “Okay, could you read all of it to me? Including the bits before and after the ’15% off.””

    Customer: *huffy* “To get 15% off please quote discount code 123456.”

    Me: *enters in number* “Great, so you’ve got 15% off your order.”

    Customer: “Finally! God, you people make these things so difficult!”

    Related:
    Don’t Discount The Customer’s Ability To Discount

    A Late Bill For The Late Resident

    | MI, USA | Extra Stupid

    (I am an accountant for a retirement community. Some of our residents and their families can be easily confused by the volume of bills related to twilight years of life. As a result, I receive the following call way too often to count.)

    Me: “Thank you for calling the accounting department at [Business]. How can I help you today?”

    Caller: “I received a bill for [Resident], but he died six months ago, and we paid off the balance! Why are you billing us?”

    Me: “One moment, please, while I check his account.”

    (I bring up the late resident’s file on my computer, and indeed, it shows no balance due. I check the most recent months’ invoices, and confirm that we did not send them an invoice anytime in the past few months. I relay this information to the caller.)

    Caller: “But it’s for services on [date when the deceased was a resident]! It has to be from you. What is this for?”

    Me: “At the top of the invoice, does it say [Business]?”

    Caller: “No…”

    Me: “Is there a different company name?”

    Caller: “Yes! It says it’s from [Medical Insurance Company]. Why are they sending me a bill?”

    Me: “Is there a phone number on the bill?”

    Caller: “Yes…”

    Me: “I would suggest that you call that number, and ask their accounting department. I’m afraid I don’t have access to their system.”

    Caller: “Oh… Can you transfer me?”

    Me: “…”

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