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    Category: Extra Stupid

    This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

    Closed To All Reason

    , | Chicago, IL, USA | Bad Behavior, Extra Stupid, Wild & Unruly

    (It’s half an hour after closing, and we’re finishing our cleaning duties. All the food has been put away, the lights are off, and there are multiple doors with signs stating our daily hours. Despite this, a car drives up.)

    Customer: *comes up to the door* “Hey!” *tries to open door* “Hey, open the door!” *bangs on door repeatedly*

    (I see and hear him, but it’s been a rough day, and I’m not interested in dealing with him.)

    Customer: “Hey, I know you can hear me!” *bangs harder on the door* “I’m hungry, and I want food!” *starts violently shaking door* “I WANT A F****** [popular food item] OKAY! HOW HARD IS IT TO GET A F****** [food item] HERE?!” *starts to kick at the door*

    (At this point, I’m starting to get a little nervous that this guy is actually dangerous. I go to get my manager. As I’m talking to my manager, we hear a crash and the sound of shattering glass.)

    Manager: “What the f***?!” *runs to the front*

    (The customer has smashed in the door and is standing at the register, apparently ready to order.)

    Manager: “Sir, we are closed! What the f*** is wrong with you?! You will pay for all of the damage!”

    Customer: “What?! You guys are closed?! Why didn’t you guys tell me? I’ll come back tomorrow then!” *smiling, he casually walks away*

    (Fortunately, we got his license plate number and called the cops the next day, but not before he came in asking for the same food!)

    Freedom Isn’t Free

    | OH, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Money

    (I work at a wholesale club and every few months we give out free 90 day trials in lieu of paying for a membership. I have just finished explaining our offer to a customer.)

    Me: “So, did you want to try our paid membership or just get the 90 day free trial?”

    Customer: “I have a question.”

    Me: “Okay. What’s your question?”

    Customer: “This is completely free?”

    Me: “Yep.”

    Customer: “So, you mean to tell me that for 90 days I can come in here, and get anything I want for free?”

    (I pause and look at them for a second, and I ask her to repeat her question, which she does.)

    Me: “Ma’am, only the membership is free. You still have to pay for the items.”

    Customer: “Well, that is just false advertising. You all shouldn’t say something is free if you still have to pay for it.

    (She stormed off and I sat there wondering what just happened.)

    Towering Ignorance

    | NY, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology, Transportation

    (I work in tech support for cell phones. A coworker is having a conversation with a customer whose phone isn’t working.)

    Agent: “Okay! Have you tried checking out the settings on your phone? You may have turned those services off.”

    Customer: “No, I didn’t. Definitely didn’t do that.”

    Agent: “Hmm, I see! Well, you could always give our customer service department a quick call to see if something is up! How’s that sound?”

    Customer: “I’m at my cousin’s house and the elevation is very high so I made sure to turn ‘airplane mode’ on. It’s pissing me off that this isn’t working.”

    Agent: “Oh! Airplane mode is actually going to disable your phone from using those features. Take that off for me, please, and try again.”

    Customer: “Wow! Do you think I’m going to be fooled like that? You’re lying. How do people talk to each other on airplanes? DUH! Sucks when I know more than an employee…”

    Agent: “I’m not entirely sure what you mean. Could you elaborate, please? ”

    Customer: “Uhm, wow. I can’t believe I’m doing this: Airplane mode is for when you need to call someone while up high in the air to connect to satellites and stuff rather than towers. How do you think pilots and astronauts contact ground control? You’re a complete idiot. Goodbye.”

    Up In The Air About It

    | New York, NY, USA | Bizarre, Extra Stupid

    (I’m filling in as receptionist at a firm where I’ve never worked before.)

    Me: *on the phone* “Thank you for calling [Company]. How may I help you?”

    Caller: “Yes. Someone called me from there.”

    Me: “Okay. Do you know the name of the person who called?”

    Caller: “Um… I think it was [first name]?”

    Me: “Do you have a last name?”

    Caller: “No. Why did she call me?”

    Me: “I’m not sure, but I’ve found her name, so I’ll transfer you to her.”

    Caller: “NO. I want you to tell me. Why did she call me?”

    Me: “I’m not sure, but if I could transfer you over, I’m sure she’ll be able to tell you.”

    Caller: “But I’m in the airport.”

    Me: “Okay. Should she call you back later?”

    Caller: “No. Why did she call me? Is it a job offer? I’m not looking for a job. I’m just starting a new job.”

    Me: “Well, I’m not sure why she called. But I could transfer you to her—”

    Caller: “NO! I’M AT THE AIRPORT WAITING TO GET ON AN AIRPLANE, SO I CAN’T TALK RIGHT NOW. WHAT DOES THIS COMPANY EVEN DO? WHY ARE YOU CALLING ME?”

    Me: “Well, I didn’t call you. But if you’ll just let me transfer you over, I’m sure she can explain why she called.”

    Caller: “WHY DON’T YOU KNOW WHAT THE COMPANY DOES?! WHY CAN’T YOU TELL ME WHY SHE CALLED?! I’M IN AN AIRPORT! I DON’T HAVE TIME TO TALK! WHY DID SHE CALL ME?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, I just don’t know why she called you. But if I could just transfer you.—”

    Caller: “I’M IN AN AIRPORT!” *click*

    Take Note And Buy A Pen

    | Brooklyn, NY, USA | Bizarre, Extra Stupid

    (I answer the phone.)

    Me: “[Store]. Hello?”

    Customer: “Hi.I need the number for [Company] support.”

    Me: “Okay, do you have a pen ready?”

    Customer: “Yes.”

    Me: “Okay, here’s the number. [Number].”

    Customer: “Could you repeat that?”

    Me: “Sure.” *repeats number*

    Customer: “D***. One more time, please?”

    Me: *repeats number*

    Customer: “D*** it!”

    Me: “Can you not hear me or something?”

    Customer: “I can hear you. I just don’t have a pen and paper. I was trying to memorize the number.”


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