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    Category: Extra Stupid

    This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

    Platinum Member, Bronze Behavior

    , | MN, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (I work at a concession stand/food court inside a casino. At this casino, we have player cards with different levels depending on the amount of money a customer spends. A regular with the highest level (platinum) card comes at least twice a week to the Asian stand. Every time we see her the conversation is the same.)

    Customer: *very rudely* “I want a chicken fried rice, no carrots or peas, no egg, no bean sprouts, no oil, no salt, with broccoli fried extra soft, to go.”

    (She orders this exact thing every time.)

    Me: “All right, ma’am. That will be [total]. Thank you, and do you have your card for discount?”

    (I swipe her player card for a discount, she pays cash, and then waits for her order. Her order comes up fresh from the wok, and I check the order EXTREMELY well to make sure that everything is in order. The customer is waiting at the counter tapping her foot impatiently. I give her the box and wish her a good day. 10 minutes pass before she comes back, red faced and angry. She’s maybe taken one bite from her food.)

    Customer: “This isn’t what I ordered! I ordered a chicken fried rice, no carrots or peas, no egg, no bean sprouts, no oil, no salt, with broccoli fried EXTRA soft, to go! I want to speak with [Manager] immediately!”

    (The order WAS exactly how she ordered it. That’s why we always check the order for her.)

    Me: “I’m so sorry, ma’am. Let me grab [Manager] and we’ll make you a new one right away!”

    Customer: *smiling smugly* “Thank you, sweetie.”

    (The manager comes out and has a quiet discussion with the upset platinum customer.)

    Customer: “My food was old, and cold, and you put things in the rice that I didn’t order. Everything was just wrong!”

    Manager: “Perhaps you would care to fill out a comment card, and I will take care of the issue.”

    (Meanwhile, I am in the back talking with our chef about the customer. Our chef is obviously a little upset that the customer can do this so consistently because she’s a platinum member, so we cannot turn away her service. We agree that nothing is wrong with the food and throw it in the microwave to warm it up. I go back out and hand the food to the customer, who is handing the comment card to my manager.)

    Me: “I’m so, so sorry that happened. Here. Look it over to make sure it’s right this time.”

    (She looks it over and nods.)

    Customer: *still smug* “This is exactly how I wanted it, honey. Thank you for making another one!”

    (My manager waits a few moments to make sure the customer is well on her way before throwing the comment card in the trash.)

    Manager: “She comes in here every week and does that!”

    The Manager Has To Wake Up And Smell The Coffee

    | West Yorkshire, England, UK | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Technology, Theme Of The Month, Top

    (We are having a meeting about how many errors we are making on our tills. When we explain why these are happening, our boss seems to think we are all idiots and decides to spend a few hours watching what we do, starting off by showing us how to use the till properly.)

    Customer #1: “Can I have a medium latte please?”

    (My manager makes the drink and processes it on the till without a problem. I’m the first to go on the till afterwards.)

    Customer #2: “Yeah, can I get a medium skinny latte.”

    (I make the drink, process it on the till, and tell the customer the price which is also written on the menu board behind me.)

    Customer #2: “Sorry, I don’t have enough. Can you make me a plain latte?”

    (I make the second drink for the customer and process this on the till, but it goes down as an error which causes my manager to glare at me. I tell the customer the new price.)

    Customer #2: “Yeah, I don’t have enough for that either. Can I have a tea?”

    (I make a third drink and re-process this on the till making another error. The customer finally pays and leaves.)

    Manager: “Yeah. I’ll just tell head office this town is full of idiots…”

    Small Fry Looking For The Big Wig

    | Nashville, TN, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid

    (A customer wants a blender.)

    Manager: “I’m sorry, sir. We are sold out of those blenders.”

    Customer: “Well the sign on the shelf says [special price], so I should get this blender for [special price]!”

    Manager: “I’m sorry, sir, but I can’t do that. It’s not the same blender as the ones that were on sale, and we are sold out of the blenders that were on sale.”

    Customer: “This is just outrageous! Who can I talk to so that I can file a complaint? What’s your store number? I’m going to report you!”

    Manager: *very professional, but now with sharper tone* “Here is the number for our customer service hotline. They’ll be happy to take your call. Our store number is [number].”

    Customer: “No, I want to talk to your CEO!”

    Manager: “Sir, this is the number that you can call to file complaints.”

    Customer: “All right.” *takes number* “Yes, I want to speak with your CEO.”

    (The customer walks away, talking on the phone.)

    Me: *after a few minutes* “Yeah, my laptop crashed the other day, so I called Bill Gates. That guy knows customer service.”

    Will Try To Tag Themselves In Jail

    | TX, USA | Criminal/Illegal, Extra Stupid, Technology, Theme Of The Month, Top, Transportation

    (I stop a young, 20-something woman for using her cell while driving in an active school zone.)

    Me: “I stopped you, ma’am, for using your phone while driving in a school zone, which is against the law.”

    Driver: “I am not calling anyone or texting, so I am not using my phone. I was updating my Facebook status!”

    (After citing her, we both pull away from the curb. I then witness her using her cell AGAIN, so I stop her once more.)

    Me: “Ma’am, I have already explained and cited you for the very same reason I am pulling you over the second time. I do not want to have to arrest you, so please do not use your phone while driving again.”

    Driver: “One more time, officer, I am NOT calling or texting! I am uploading a picture of my citation to Pinterest!”

    Thoughts Suspended

    | CA, USA | Criminal/Illegal, Extra Stupid, Top

    (I am in a reserve officer training class at a sheriff’s academy. Enrollment in this class is done through a community college, not the Sheriff’s department. When it is time to do the firearms instruction, you have two choices: you can use your own firearm if it was one of the authorized service pistols, or you can borrow one from the academy. If you borrow one, you need a driver’s license for proof of identity in case something happens to the firearm.)

    Student: “Well, I don’t have my license.”

    Deputy #1: “Then we can’t loan you the pistol.”

    Student: “But I need to do this range stuff to graduate, right?”

    Deputy #1: “Yes. That is why we tell people to bring their license if they need to borrow a firearm. We cannot lend you one without it.”

    Student: “I can’t bring one in. I don’t have a license right now.”

    Deputy #2: “What? I saw you drive up here. What do you mean you don’t have a license now?”

    Student: “Well, it was suspended.”

    Deputy Sergeant: “Did you just tell us you are driving on a suspended license?”

    Student: “Yeah. It sucks.”

    (Deputy #1 and #2 share a look.)

    Deputy Sergeant: “So which car is yours?”

    (The student points it out.)

    Deputy Sergeant: “And you drove that here on a suspended license?”

    Student: “Yeah. Like I said, it sucks.”

    Deputy Sergeant: “Okay, well, let me see what I can do.”

    (The deputy sergeant goes to the office, and comes back about 15 minutes later.)

    Deputy Sergeant: “When you found out that your license was suspended, did they also inform you that it was for a failure to appear on your drunk driving case and that there was a warrant for your arrest?”

    Student: “Uh, let me think… Yeah. There was something like that in the letter.”

    Deputy Sergeant: “Well, that warrant is why you are under arrest.”

    Student: “What!?”

    (The rest of the class was amazed at the idiocy that this guy displayed. His mom came by later to get the car. She was not pleased with her son, and she had no idea he even had a drunk driving incident!)

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