Category: Extra Stupid

This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

The Great Customer Disconnect

| Mexico | Extra Stupid, Technology

Me: “Thank you for calling [Company]. My name is [Name]. How can I help you today?”

Customer: “I’ve been with no TV since this morning. I want to know what the f*** is happening with your service!”

Me: “I really apologize about this issue, sir. I will be more than happy to help you by troubleshooting your system. Would you please verify if your TV is connected to the source?”

Customer: “Do you think I am stupid? I would not be calling if the TV is disconnected and— never mind.”

(The customer hung up. No further explanations.)

Needs To Screen Her Comments

| VA, USA | Extra Stupid, Health & Body, Technology

(While standing in line at a sandwich shop, I overhear two women talking about one of them getting a new iPad.)

Woman #1: “Yeah, I got a new iPad. I got black this time because I usually always go with white.”

Woman #2: “Ew, white is so much better than black. You should have gotten the white.”

Woman #1: “No, I wanted to match the case I got it.”

Woman #2: “Don’t you have bad eyes?”

Woman #1: “Yeah?”

Woman #2: “Well you should have gotten the white, not the black. Now you are not going to be able to see on it.”

Woman #1: “When I say it’s black, I was referring to the casing it’s in, not the screen.”

Woman #2: “Oh!”

Isn’t Buying Into The Sale

| Sacramento, CA, USA | Extra Stupid

(We regularly have deals on cases of paper where a customer can purchase a specified number of cases, and receive another one for free. A customer comes into the store and makes a bee-line for the sale cases. This week’s deal is buy two, get one free.)

Customer: “Two cases of paper, please!”

(I immediately suspect there will be an issue. I radio for an associate to start heading to the paper display in case there’s a dispute, then ring up the customer’s paper.)

Me: “Okay! Your total is [cost of two full price cases and sales tax].”

Customer: “What!? Your sign says buy two, get one free! Why isn’t my second one free!?”

Me: “Sir, buy two get one means that you have to BUY TWO cases first. Then your third one’s free.”

Customer: “THAT’S NOT WHAT THE AD SIGN SAYS!”

Me: “It is, sir. It says BUY TWO. You know, like PURCHASE TWO? You have to PAY FOR two cases before you get the third one?”

Customer: “THAT’S NOT WHAT IT SAYS! I WANT MY SECOND CASE FOR FREE!”

Me: “Sir, I can’t just give you a free case of paper. The sale you’re thinking of is buy one, get one – not buy two get one.”

(At this point I’m pretty sure the customer realizes his error. There is a long pause while he stares at me expectantly, and then…)

Customer: “FINE! Give me my third case! But I want to speak to your store manager! That’s misleading and you’re cheating people out of their money!”

Me: “Sure thing, sir. Here’s his business card. He’ll be in tomorrow. Have a nice night!”

Doesn’t Have The Laws Of Physics In The Bag

| Dallas, TX, USA | Extra Stupid, Tourists/Travel, Transportation

(I am getting in line at security in the airport. In front of me is a middle-aged lady reading the sign stating that the TSA does not allow any bottles of liquid larger than three ounces through security. Underneath the sign is a box of quart-sized plastic bags. She has a plastic bag in one hand and a large drink bottle in the other hand. I watch her look between the plastic bag and the large bottle. She puts the large bottle in the quart sized plastic bag so that over half of it is sticking out and puts the whole thing into her backpack. My travel instincts kick in and quickly walk to get ahead of her in the security line. Sure enough, as I am packing my stuff up outside of security I hear her screaming.)

Lady: “But it’s in the bag! It should be fine! I put it in the bag.”

TSA Agent: “Ma’am, it doesn’t work that way!”

Lady: “I PUT IT IN THE BAG!”

(Apparently in her mind a quart sized plastic bag makes a 16 ounce drink magically become less than three ounces!)

Not Quite Ringing True

| England, UK | Extra Stupid, Health & Body

(I have brought my friend into the hospital.)

Doctor: “What seems to be the problem?”

Friend: “I think I inhaled my nose ring…”

Me: *trying not to laugh*

Doctor: “Do you think you swallowed it?”

Friend: “Uhm, yes. But I also feel a lump at the back of my throat…”

Doctor: *does examination* “Okay, I can’t see anything but I’ll send you for an x-ray. When did this happen?”

Friend: “Three days ago.”

Doctor: “So you waited three days to get checked out when you thought you had a piece of metal stuck in your throat, yet you’re breathing, eating, and drinking fine for those three days?”

Friend: “Yeah.”

Doctor: “Okay, I’ll send you for an x-ray.”

(Not surprisingly, the x-ray came back clear and almost everyone was trying to hold in their laughter!)

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