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    Category: Extra Stupid

    This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

    Trying To Cash In On Credit

    | St. Louis, MO, USA | Extra Stupid, Money

    (I’m on the register and call the next customer in line up to my till.)

    Me: “Hello. Did you find everything all right today?”

    Customer: “I just need to return these sweatpants.”

    Me: “Oh, sure. Was there anything wrong with them?”

    Customer: “They’re ugly.”

    Me: *proceeding with the transaction* “I’m sorry you feel that way. May I see your receipt?”

    (The customer tosses the receipt at me, along with her ID. I continue processing the transaction without incident until…)

    Me: “Okay, you’re going to get back $49.97 for these sweatpants. Looking at your receipt, I see you paid with your [store credit card], so I’ll just go ahead and put the balance back on your card.”

    Customer: “No, I paid with cash.”

    Me: *looking at the receipt again* “No, ma’am. It very clearly says here at the bottom that you paid with your [store credit card].” *shows receipt to customer* “See?”

    Customer: “Yes, but then I paid cash.”

    Me: *a light bulb goes off in my head* “Oh! Did you put the purchase on your [store credit card] and then pay off the purchase with cash in the store?”

    Customer: “Yes. I paid cash.”

    Me: “Okay. Well, unfortunately, the original purchase was made on your card, so I can only refund this to you on your card or store credit.”

    Customer: “No. I paid cash, and I want cash back.”

    (The circular argument goes on for several minutes, with the customer becoming more and more irate. Finally, I call a manager over to explain.)

    Manager: “Ma’am, what my associate is telling you is correct. You made this purchase on a credit card, and so we can only refund it to you on that card. Our computers won’t let us do it any other way.”

    Customer: “FINE!” *throws credit card at me* “I hope you’re both happy to have stolen money from me!”

    Three-dom Isn’t Free

    | TX, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Math & Science

    (I’m a cashier at the local supercenter and I’m working the afternoon shift. We have impulse candy racks at the end of each register that come in both normal and king-sized packages. Under the price tags is a strip that reads “all king-sized candy bars three for $3.” A customer approaches my register.)

    Customer: “The candy is three for $3 dollars, yes?”

    Me: “Yes, sir. The king-sized candy bars are all three for $3.”

    (The customer grabs a few of the candy bars from the candy rack and sets them down on the conveyor belt with the rest of his items. I check them all out like normal and I notice that he had purchased two candy bars for $0.68 and one king-sized candy bar for $1. The customer gives me a strange, irritated look as I hit the total button on my keyboard.)

    Customer: “The candy was three for $3. You said it was three for $3.”

    Me: “Yes, sir, the king-sized candy bars are all 3 for $3. You bought two candy bars that cost $0.68 and one king-sized candy bar for $1.00.”

    Customer: “But your sign says three for $3! Why is it not $3 for these candy bars!?”

    Me: “Because, sir, the candy bars that you purchased amount to less than $3.00.”

    (The customer went silent for a moment, though his irritated expression never left his face. He paid for his merchandise without another word and left. I stood there for a few moments trying to figure out what kind of math he was using.)

    Not Exactly Heavy Math

    | Roscoe, IL, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Math & Science

    (I just finish helping someone when a young man walks up to me.)

    Customer: “Do you guys sell ice cubes?”

    Me: “Yes. Would you like an 8-pound bag or a 16-pound bag?”

    Customer: “What’s the difference?”

    Me: “The 16-pound bag holds twice as much ice cubes as the 8-pound bag.”

    Customer: “Is that the heavier one?”

    Rage Against The Machine, Part 3

    | USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Technology

    (I have finished ringing up a customer’s purchase when he is paying with a debit card at the card reader. My computer tells me the customer clicked the ‘cancel’ button on the machine.)

    Me: “Sir, please re-slide your card and press the green button for credit.”

    Customer: *to his wife* “They should make these things all work the same way.”

    Customer’s Wife: “Honey, it says right there to press the green button for credit.”

    Customer: “I shouldn’t be expected to read that.”

    Related:
    Rage Against The Machine, Part 2
    Rage Against The Machine

    Honesty Unplugged

    | Winnipeg, MB, Canada | Extra Stupid, Technology

    Caller: “Hello, my— Oh, s***, wait. Never mind, I forgot to plug it in. I swear I’m getting dumber every year.” *click*

    Me: “… Well, all right, then.”

    (Wrong numbers notwithstanding, that was the shortest call of my career.)

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