October Theme Of The Month: Halloween!

Category: Extra Stupid

This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

Fractionally More Stupid

| Greenville, NY, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Math & Science

(I have recently started working in the deli of a grocery store.)

Me: “Hello. How are you today, miss?”

Customer: “Hi, I would like some [Brand] ham please.”

Me: “Sure, and how much of the [Brand] ham would you like?”

Customer: *thinking* “Um… I’ll take about a quarter — no! I’ll take less than that. I want more than a third of a pound, but no more than one quarter pound!”

(I tried my best not to laugh at the fact that a third is actually MORE than a fourth (difference between 0.33 and 0.25 respectively). I ended up slicing her one fifth instead. No wonder there’s a math joke saying that ‘5 out of 4 people have a problem with fractions!’)

Won The Gold Medal For Most Stupid Customer

| Wales, UK | Extra Stupid, Math & Science, Technology

(I work on the shop floor of a DIY store. A customer comes up to me holding a torch and looking confused.)

Me: “Can I help you?”

Customer: “Yes, I’m not quite sure how this torch would work.”

Me: “You just put AA batteries in it and push the button on the side here.”

Customer: “But it says here on the label that this is a silver-coloured torch.”

(She points at the label on the silver torch and it does indeed say ‘Torch – Colour: Silver.’)

Me: “Yes, that’s right…”

Customer: “But how can light be silver?”

Me: “Oh, no, the light is white like a standard torch. The colour on the label refers to the colour of the metal.”

Customer: “But… it says it’s silver…”

(At this point I get a black torch off of the shelf to show her that the label says ‘Torch – Colour: Black’)

Me: “See, the label on this one says black and this metal is black.”

Customer: “But it says it’s a silver coloured torch!”

(After 10 full minutes of explaining, the woman handed me back the silver torch and walked off muttering about false advertising.)

The Question Is Largely Irregular

, | Australia | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(We run a mobile coffee van. When we go to the markets we have a sign with the prices and types of coffee that you can get. On the sign we have R $4.50, for regular size, and L $5.50 for large size.)

Customer: “What’s the difference between left-handed and right-handed coffee?”

Parking Back And Forth

| Seattle, WA, USA | Extra Stupid, Tourists/Travel, Transportation

Caller: “I’m leaving from your downtown terminal next week and I wanted to know if there is parking there.”

Me: “Sure! We have a small lot on our property, where you’re welcome to park if there is a spot available. There’s also a city lot, right out front, where you can park for about 3 days. And lastly, there is a pay parking lot at the office building just north of us.”

Caller: *impatiently* “I just wanted to know if there was parking there.”

Me: “Okay, great.” *thinking his question was already answered by the list of parking options*

Caller: “…so, is there?”

Convicted Of Stupidity

| Finland | At The Checkout, Criminal/Illegal, Extra Stupid

(A customer walks in the store and proceeds to the counter.)

Customer: “I’m so glad they arrange you folk some proper jobs.”

(She then walks into the store, leaving me puzzled with her comment. She returns in a bit with a product.)

Me: “That’ll be €25.99. Cash or card?”

Customer: “Don’t take this wrong, but I don’t want to give my credit card to a convict.”

Me: “A convict? I assure you I’ve never had any problem with the law.”

Customer: “Why do you have bars in the windows, then?”

Me: “Our insurance company insists on having them so you can’t get in by just breaking a window.”

Customer: “Oh…”

(I’ve never seen anyone with such a bright red face before!)

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