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    Category: Extra Stupid

    This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

    Health Conscious Mosquitoes Source Their Food

    | Dominican Republic | Extra Stupid, Health & Body, Tourists/Travel

    (My wife and I are on vacation in a resort. We just had a ‘new arrivals’ meeting, and were told about possible malaria infection from mosquitoes. We both took the appropriate medication before traveling, but not everyone agrees that it is indeed necessary.)

    Tourist: “Taking that medication is not necessary you know. I should know, since I work for [our country's health regulation service]. Every person that has contracted malaria while on holiday here was from [a certain province]. Since we are from [another province] there are absolutely no risk!”

    (We laughed so hard we had to leave the room, and are still wondering how the mosquitoes manage to determine the province of origin of the tourist they are about to feast on…)

    Way South Of Average Intelligence

    | Atlanta, GA, USA | Bigotry, Extra Stupid, Geography, Language & Words, Musical Mayhem

    (I am a light-skinned South African living in the United States. I occasionally get to perform my own music in a local hip-hop-oriented bar. I try to keep my lyrics clean of profanities, which is unusual for this audience.)

    Bar Patron #1: “It’s nice to hear some clean hip-hop here for a change.”

    Me: “Thanks. I just don’t see the need for me to swear, since most of my songs are about partying and that sort of light stuff.”

    Bar Patron #2: “Usually with the people who perform here, it’s ‘n-word this’, and ‘n-word that’.”

    Me: *laughing* “Can you imagine, a white South African using that word a whole bunch of times?”

    Bar Patron #2: “I know you could do that if you wanted to, since your country is run by African-Americans and all, but it’s nice that you don’t.”

    Me: “… Oh boy.”

    Intelligence Abhors A Vacuum, Part 5

    | MI, USA | Extra Stupid, Transportation

    (I work at a very popular car wash. On a busy day, we can reach a volume of over a thousand customers. We only have five vacuums, which are free during business hours, and $1.00 after close. Due to wet paint, we close one vacuum, which includes shutting the power to that individual vacuum off completely, posting signs on the vacuum AND on the trash can which we placed in front of it, and taping it off. Despite this, a customer attempts to use it anyway. It won’t turn on, so she walks up to the building.)

    Customer: “May I have change for a dollar?”

    Me: *knowing why she’s asking* “Of course, but are you needing change for a vacuum?”

    Customer: *points to the one that’s closed* “Yes! That vacuum won’t turn on!”

    Me: “That’s because it’s been shut off.”

    Customer: “But I need to vacuum out my car. I already parked there and got out and walked all the way over here!”

    Me: “There are signs that say it’s out of order.”

    Customer: “I didn’t see them!”

    Me: “You didn’t see that it’s been cordoned off, the trash can in front of it to prevent people from parking there, or the signs that state ‘Out of Order’?”

    Customer: “You know what?! I’ll go somewhere else!”

    Me: “Have a nice day!”

    Related:
    Intelligence Abhors A Vacuum, Part 4
    Intelligence Abhors A Vacuum, Part 3
    Intelligence Abhors A Vacuum, Part 2

    Closed To All Reason

    , | Chicago, IL, USA | Bad Behavior, Extra Stupid, Wild & Unruly

    (It’s half an hour after closing, and we’re finishing our cleaning duties. All the food has been put away, the lights are off, and there are multiple doors with signs stating our daily hours. Despite this, a car drives up.)

    Customer: *comes up to the door* “Hey!” *tries to open door* “Hey, open the door!” *bangs on door repeatedly*

    (I see and hear him, but it’s been a rough day, and I’m not interested in dealing with him.)

    Customer: “Hey, I know you can hear me!” *bangs harder on the door* “I’m hungry, and I want food!” *starts violently shaking door* “I WANT A F****** [popular food item] OKAY! HOW HARD IS IT TO GET A F****** [food item] HERE?!” *starts to kick at the door*

    (At this point, I’m starting to get a little nervous that this guy is actually dangerous. I go to get my manager. As I’m talking to my manager, we hear a crash and the sound of shattering glass.)

    Manager: “What the f***?!” *runs to the front*

    (The customer has smashed in the door and is standing at the register, apparently ready to order.)

    Manager: “Sir, we are closed! What the f*** is wrong with you?! You will pay for all of the damage!”

    Customer: “What?! You guys are closed?! Why didn’t you guys tell me? I’ll come back tomorrow then!” *smiling, he casually walks away*

    (Fortunately, we got his license plate number and called the cops the next day, but not before he came in asking for the same food!)

    Freedom Isn’t Free

    | OH, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Money

    (I work at a wholesale club and every few months we give out free 90 day trials in lieu of paying for a membership. I have just finished explaining our offer to a customer.)

    Me: “So, did you want to try our paid membership or just get the 90 day free trial?”

    Customer: “I have a question.”

    Me: “Okay. What’s your question?”

    Customer: “This is completely free?”

    Me: “Yep.”

    Customer: “So, you mean to tell me that for 90 days I can come in here, and get anything I want for free?”

    (I pause and look at them for a second, and I ask her to repeat her question, which she does.)

    Me: “Ma’am, only the membership is free. You still have to pay for the items.”

    Customer: “Well, that is just false advertising. You all shouldn’t say something is free if you still have to pay for it.

    (She stormed off and I sat there wondering what just happened.)


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