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    Category: Extra Stupid

    This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

    Picture Perfect

    | AR, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

    (I work as a library clerk in the computer lab. Over the next couple of nights we have a gentleman come in who is completely computer illiterate. I’ve tried to explain the best I can as how to go about searching online for information, or watching videos. On this particular night he seems to understand the computer a little more.)

    Patron: “Excuse me, I need help.”

    Me: “Sure, what can I help you with?”

    Patron: “This video won’t load! I’ve been staring at it for the last 30 minutes, and nothing has happened!”

    (I take in the problem quickly, and try not to laugh.)

    Me: “Sir, you’ve been looking at a picture for the last 30 minutes, not a video.”

    Should Keep Better Account Of Their Account, Part 2

    | AR, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

    (I work as a library clerk in a large computer lab available for patrons. An older lady walks in and needs some assistance with creating an email account.)

    Me: Ma’am, it seems that this username is being used by someone else. You’ll have to choose another.”

    Patron: “Of course it is; it’s my username.”

    Me: “You already have an account with [email site]?”

    Patron: “Yes. Why can’t I use my own username?”

    Me: “Well if you have an email account, and you forgot your password, I can help you retrieve it.”

    Patron: “No, I’ve tried and it wont give me my password.”

    Me: “… Okay… Well, if you want to create a new account you’ll have to use a different username.”

    Patron: “Why? It’s my username.”

    Me: “It’s already taken. You can only use that username once.”

    Patron: “Why?”

    Me: “Because that’s the way they set it up.”

    Patron: “Well, that’s dumb.”

    Related:
    Should Keep Better Account Of Their Account

    A Sad Sign Of The Times

    | Houston, TX, USA | Extra Stupid, Politics, Transportation

    (I walk into the local shipping store to drop off a package. There is a senior couple in front of me. I overheard the last part of the conversation between the wife and the employee.)

    Wife: “So, you’re telling me that this store doesn’t have that promotion?”

    Employee: “No, I’m sorry. We’re privately owned, so we’re not carrying out the promotion.”

    Wife: “Well, you should have signs here telling me that!”

    Employee: “Yeah, I’m sorry…”

    Wife: *walks towards the exit while her husband slowly follows her behind him* “This is the seventh store I’ve been to that doesn’t have the promotion. Liars. They’re all LIARS! Just like OBAMA! He’s a LIAR! OBAMA! LIAR!”

    Husband: *looks at me and shrugs, embarrassed*

    Seriously Cheesed Off

    | FL, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (I work in the deli section of my store. We have only one meat slicer and one cheese slicer. Right now, we have a long line at the slicers. My coworker is slicing meat and I’m slicing cheese.)

    Me: *to the line of people* “Cheese? Cheese? Anyone getting sliced cheese?”

    (A customer puts his phone down and approaches.)

    Customer #1: “Hi, can I have a pound of turkey?”

    Me: “Okay. Any cheese for you, sir?”

    Customer #1: “No, I’m not getting cheese.”

    Me: “Oh. Well, I was asking about cheese. My buddy here is slicing meat. He’ll be with you in a moment.”

    (He gives me a disgruntled look and gets back in line.)

    Me: *louder* “Is anyone getting cheese sliced today?”

    (Another customer approaches me.)

    Customer #2: “Yes, can I get cooked ham, please?”

    Me: “Do you need any cheese, sir?”

    Customer #2: “No.”

    Me: “Then I’m afraid there will be a short wait. I’m only slicing cheese; my coworker is doing the meat.”

    Customer #2: “Um, okay.”

    (He gets back in line.)

    Coworker: *snickering*

    Me: *very loudly* “DOES ANYONE HERE NEED SLICED CHEESE?”

    (A little old lady walks up to me.)

    Customer #3: “I want to get some turkey breast, please.”

    Me: “Are you getting any cheese, ma’am?”

    Customer #3: “No, I don’t need any.”

    Me: *sighing* “I’m sorry, I’m only slicing cheese. He’s doing meat. I’m doing cheese.”

    Customer #3: “You mean I have to wait?!”

    Me: “We only have one meat slicer, ma’am.”

    (She throws her hands up in frustration and gets back in line. My coworker is now chuckling loudly.)

    Me: “Well, since no one needs cheese, I’m going to go clean up the mess in the cooler.”

    Coworker: “What mess?”

    Me: “The one that’s going to be there after I face-palm my brains all over the wall…”

    Not The Brightest Bulb In The Box

    | MD, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Money

    (I am one of two department managers responsible for the front end in my store. My subordinate is on the register next to me, processing a return for a rather expensive LED light bulb. This is right after the most recent Target hack.)

    Customer: “I’d like to return this light bulb. It wasn’t the kind I needed.”

    Coworker: “All right. Do you have your receipt?”

    (The customer hands over the receipt, and she processes it quickly.)

    Coworker: “Okay, [amount of return] is going back to your card. Is that all right?”

    Customer: “Yes, that’s fine.”

    (The coworker hands over return slip for him to sign. He stares at it for a moment and compares it to a credit card in his hand.)

    Customer: “This is the wrong card. It should be returned to this card. *shows my coworker the card*

    Coworker: *looking at original receipt* “Sir, that’s not the card that was used. The card used to pay for the light bulb ended in [last four card numbers].”

    Customer: “Yeah, but I don’t have that card anymore. It was replaced because of the Target thing. Let me speak to your manager.”

    (Coworker calls me over. I’ve heard nearly everything, but she explains the situation briefly.)

    Me: “Hi. What can I do for you?”

    Customer: “Yeah, I need this returned on to this card.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but you didn’t use that card to pay for it. We can only process a refund to the original card, or a store credit. But as the return has already been processed, you’ll have to contact the company who handles your account. As long as it’s in good standing, they’ll issue a check for the amount of the refund.”

    Customer: “Of course my card is in good standing! It’s a prominent bank that deals with veterans and their families. It’s the same account. I just have a new card number. So, you can’t refund my purchase?”

    Me: “We already have. If your card is linked to the same account, then most likely, they’ll credit your account. I’ll call for you right now, if you like.”

    Customer: “It’s Sunday! They’re not open! I just want my money back.”

    Me: “Sir, we’ve refunded your money back to your card. At this point, it is out of our hands. You can call your bank and they can issue you a check for the amount.”

    Customer: “You haven’t given me my money back. It’s not the right card.”

    (I show him the return slip.)

    Me: “As far as this company is concerned, we have. The money is now in the hands of your bank. You may call them on Monday, and they can credit your account, or issue a check.”

    Customer: “So, you’re not going to refund me?”

    Me: “As I said, we already refunded—”

    Customer: “No, you haven’t. Is there something wrong with you? You haven’t refunded my purchase.”

    (The customer grabs the light bulb off the counter.)

    Customer: “I’ll just go to a store where they know how to do a refund correctly. You are all obviously too stupid to do this!” *begins to walk out the door*

    Me: “Sir! You can’t take the light bulb. We’ve refunded that!”

    Customer: “No, you haven’t! I’m going somewhere else!”

    (He stole the light bulb. No other store would be able to refund his money back to the new card. Our system isn’t set up that way. Three days later, I got a call from another store asking about the return. They contacted his bank and they had credited his account. That store took the light bulb from him at that time.)

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