Category: Extra Stupid

This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

Not In Her Charitable Shoes

| Scotland, UK | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid

(I’m an assistant manager in a charity shop. As we’re a charity, we don’t do any refunds unless the item is damaged, although we do take exchanges or credit with a receipt. There is a large printed sign clearly stating our refund policy on the counter. A volunteer calls me out to deal with a customer.)

Volunteer: “This lady wants a refund for these shoes.”

Me: “Okay, what’s wrong with them?”

Customer: “They’re the wrong size.”

Me: “Oh, sorry, I’m afraid we don’t do refunds unless the item is damaged. I can give you an exchange, or a store credit.”

Customer: *begins to get angry” “You didn’t tell me that I couldn’t get a refund when I bought them. That’s false advertising! All other shops do refunds!”

Me: *points to sign that is literally ON THE COUNTER* “There is a sign right here that states our refund policy; we can’t ask our volunteers to recite it to every customer. If you had asked when you bought the shoes then we would have explained the policy to you. All our profits go to charity, which is why we don’t offer refunds; most other charity shops have the exact same policy.”

Customer: “That sign is too low; it’s ridiculous to expect people to read that!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but there is nowhere else that we could put the sign, and I feel that it’s quite clear. It’s on the counter, so everybody who buys something can see it.”

Customer: “You should put it there!” *points to a display cabinet*

Me: “Um… If we put it there, nobody would be able to see things inside the cabinet.”

Customer: *by this point she is practically shouting in my face* “That’s not my problem! Your sign isn’t clear enough! I want a refund for these shoes. They’re for my mother and they’re the wrong size.”

Me: “I’m sorry; I really can’t give you a refund because you bought shoes the wrong size. You can have an exchange or credit.”

Customer: “I can’t believe this! This is RIDICULOUS, it’s false advertising, and I’m not leaving without a refund.”

(My manager and another manager who happened to be in the shop have come out to try to calm the customer down.)

Manager: “Everything she’s said is absolutely right. Our policy is stated right in front of you and as a charity shop, we don’t do refunds. It’s a very common policy.”

Customer: “I’m going to call the police! I can’t believe this! I’m calling them now!” *she takes out her phone*

(At this point, another customer steps in:)

Customer #2: “If you call the police, who do you think they’re going to have a problem with: the shop following their policy, which is stated RIGHT THERE, or you screaming in their faces?”

(The customer shouts some more about calling the police and then leaves, throwing the shoes on the counter.)

Manager: “Out of interest, how much were the shoes?”

Me: “£5…”

Lack Of Touching Sentiment

| Kansas City, MO, USA | Bizarre, Extra Stupid, Health & Body

(I am working on the teller line when a customer comes into the lobby. He smells like he hasn’t bathed all week, and his hands are filthy. Also, our bank requires customers who don’t have an account with us to put a thumbprint on the front of any checks they cash. This is a fairly common procedure at many banks.)

Customer: “I’d like to cash this check.”

Me: “Okay, if I could just get your thumbprint on the check…” *holds out ink pad*

Customer: *raising his hands and backing away* “I am NOT touching THAT. I don’t know where it’s been. It could have Ebola. I gotta protect myself.”

Me: “You do realize the cash you are getting has been more places than this ink pad has right?”

Customer: “Well, yeah, but I don’t have any idea who’s been touching that pad. They could’ve picked their nose and then touched it for all I know.”

(I count out his cash, and right before he leaves he grabs a pen off the counter, that EVERY SINGLE other customer has touched, and says:)

Customer: “Is it okay if I take this?”

The Brain Freeze Will Make No Difference

| Calgary, AB, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(So I work at a college as a coffee server. I really wonder how some people made it this far. I am prepping a customers order. She turns to her friend.)

Customer: “Do you want your double-double?”

Friend: “No, thanks, I’m going to get an iced cappuccino.”

Customer: “It’s below 10 out.”

Friend: “Yeah, but I gave up caffeine for Lent, so I’m going to have an iced cap.”

Customer: “You know there caffeine in that, right?”

Friend: “Yes, in a HOT cappuccino. When you freeze it you kill the caffeine, so therefore it’s caffeine free. The sugar will keep me awake.”

No ID, No Idea, Part 17

| NC, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid

(I’m working at one of the places in the park that sells alcohol and it is required that I card every single person no matter how old they are. A customer who is clearly older has come up wishing to purchase a beer but doesn’t have her ID and my supervisor is standing next to me.)

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but without your ID I can’t sell to you.”

Supervisor: “Unfortunately, she’s right. It doesn’t matter how old someone is. I saw a guy that had to have been at least seventy trying to purchase beer and I still had to card him.”

Customer: “I guess I’ll just come back with my ID.”

(The customer returns a few minutes later.)

Customer: “Your supervisor’s gone. Can you just pretend like you’re looking at something?”

(The customer then proceeds to hand me a football card.)

Me: “Ma’am, your ID has to be state issued…”

Related:
No ID, No Idea, Part 16
No ID, No Idea, Part 15
No ID, No Idea, Part 14

Removed From Reality

| MN, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid

Me: “Thank you for calling [Company]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Remove me from your mailing list.”

Me: “Okay, certainly. Nay I have your last name?”

Customer: *rattles off long unintelligible letters*

Me: “Er, I’m sorry. Could you repeat that a little slower?”

Customer: “Just remove me from the list!”

Me: “I’d be happy to, sir, but I need your name and the address you’d like to remove.”

Customer: “You know that already! You should be able to look me up by the last three letters of my last name right?!”

Me: “Uh, no. I can’t. May I have your name and address to remove?”

Customer: “NO. JUST TAKE ME OFF THE LIST. I KNOW YOU HAVE A LIST!” *disconnects*

Coworker: *who heard the whole thing and is laughing hysterically at my bewildered expression* “I hope he thinks we actually removed him and then gets a ton more in the mail!”

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