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  • November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

    Category: Extra Stupid

    This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

    No Eggo For The Vego

    , | Australia | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (I am serving on the registers over breakfast, when a female customer approaches.)

    Customer: “I’m vego.”

    Me: *realising she means she’s a vegetarian* “Umm… okay?”

    Customer: “So I’ll have a bacon and egg muffin with no egg.”

    Me: “A bacon and egg muffin without egg?”

    Customer: “Yep, I’m vego.”

    Me: “So you want the bacon on the muffin”?

    Customer: “Yep, but no egg. I’m vego.”

    Me: “…”

    Please Use It Anywhere But Here

    | NJ, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid

    (I’m working as a cashier when I have a customer who is ready to pay for her order.)

    Me: “Your total is [total].”

    Customer: “I have this [Other Retail Store] gift card I’d like to use first.”

    Me: “Does it say Visa, Mastercard, etc. on the card? Those kinds of gift cards you can use here, otherwise it’s just a card for [Other Retail Store].”

    Customer: “Well, this thing says I can use this card anywhere for gas and groceries.”

    (The customer has a MasterCard credit card from the other retail store and it looks as though she received the gift card as a reward for getting enough points on it.)

    Me: “That gift card is only useable at [Other Retail Store].”

    Customer: “It says right here I can use this anywhere.”

    (I look at the holder that the gift card was in. While it says you can use your card anywhere, it obviously applies to the credit card, not the gift card.)

    Me: “No, it’s saying you can use your [Other Retail Store] credit card anywhere. I’m guessing you got this gift card as a reward from getting enough points on your credit card.”

    Customer: “No, I can use this anywhere. Get me your manager.”

    Me: “Okay, but I’m telling you right now she’s going to say the same thing I’m telling you.”

    (I call my manager and ask her to come over immediately. The customer explains what her issue is.)

    Manager: “Ma’am, my cashier is right. You can’t use this gift card here. It says here you can use your MasterCard anywhere and you got this gift card as reward to use at [Other Retail Store].”

    (They go back and forth for a minute and for a brief second I think maybe the customer gets it… I was wrong.)

    Customer: “You don’t know what you’re talking about. I’ll call [Other Retail Store] and prove that I can use this gift card here!”

    You’re In His Sights

    | Bodø, Norway | Extra Stupid, Hotels & Lodging

    (I work as a room attendant. It’s a busy day, with a lot of people moving about in the corridors. An elderly man approaches me briskly, and doesn’t stop until he has properly breached my comfort zone. I recognise him as a guest, though, one who is partially blind, so I put on a big and polite smile.)

    Guest: “Hey, you, can you help me find room number 444? Is it down this way?” *points down the corridor I’m currently in*

    Me: “Ah, no, sir. It’s in the other direction, but it’s past the conference halls. Do you want me to walk you there?”

    Guest: *briskly* “Yes.”

    Me: *smiles, nods and begins walking down in the right direction* “It’s down here, you see.”

    Guest: *suddenly angry* “NO I CAN’T SEE OR I WOULDN’T HAVE ASKED FOR HELP!”

    They Must Be Quite New To This

    | Vancouver, BC, Canada | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid

    (I am on my second shift at a till at a new coffee shop, where I am still unfamiliar with the system and therefore very slow. Thankfully, it is at night, so the lineup is usually only two or three people and the customers spend at most three minutes waiting in line.)

    Me: *to approaching customer* “Hello! How may I help you?”

    Customer: *he has been waiting in line for less than a minute* “What is taking so long? The store is never this slow.”

    Me: “Oh, I’m sorry, sir. I’m new to working here, so I’m still learning everything.”

    Customer: “They hired MORE new people?”

    Me: “Yes, that’s how stores work.”

    Customer: “Well they need to stop hiring so many new people! Don’t you agree?”

    Me: “…no?”

    (Clearly he doesn’t understand how I got my job.)

    What A Total Dipstick

    | Dallas, TX, USA | Extra Stupid, Transportation

    (The customer pulls up on the service drive. She is driving a brand new car. She does not bother being polite, instead gets out of the car screaming.)

    Customer: “This car is a lemon; I’m gonna sue you all!

    (Her car is pouring oil on the drive. The service advisor goes over, she shuts it off, and he opens the hood and goes to check the oil. There is no dipstick.)

    Service Advisor: “Where is the dipstick?”

    Customer: *smugly* “I put it in the trunk so I don’t lose it.”