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    Category: Extra Stupid

    This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

    I Am Just A Number

    | Bergen, Norway | Extra Stupid, Family & Kids, Top

    (I am out shopping with my 10-year-old sister. I am 23. Another customer, a woman in her 60s, approaches my sister as she is standing by herself for a moment.)

    Customer: “Are you the manager here?”

    Sister: “No…”

    Customer: “What are you, then?”

    Sister: “I’m 10…”

    Upgrade Degrade

    | USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

    (I work at a web hosting company where we have several levels of packages. Customer is currently on a server with hundreds of others and is trying to set up an account with a username that is already taken.)

    Customer: “I can’t use this username; it says it’s already in use.”

    Me: “Let me take a look and see what’s going on.”

    (I check. Sure enough, someone else on the server is using the username already.)

    Me: “I do apologize, but there is someone on the server already using that username. You will have to use another.”

    Customer: “I guess I’ll just have to upgrade to a dedicated server.”

    (A dedicated is a server with no other users, but is also 10 times the price.)

    Me: “You don’t have to upgrade. Simply use another username. You can always just add a 1 to the end of it, that will work.”

    Customer: “No, thanks. I knew I’d have to upgrade eventually.”

    Me: “No problem. Was there anything else I could do for you today?”

    Customer: “Let me talk to your manager. I can’t believe you’re making me upgrade! This is ridiculous!”

    Giving You No Middle-Ground

    | WI, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    Customer: “Hi, I’d like that ham, please.”

    (The customer makes a vague gesture toward several trays of ham.)

    Me: *pointing to the ham closest to her hand wave* “This one?”

    Customer: “No.”

    Me: *pointing to another ham* “Was it this one?”

    Customer: “No.”

    Me: “Can you tell me what ham it says on the tag, ma’am?”

    Customer: *very rudely* “It’s the one in the middle!”

    (I look at the six trays of ham. There is no middle. This exchange goes repeats until I eventually point to the ham she wants.)

    Customer: “You should probably be more attentive, miss. I need some cheese now.”

    Me: “Of course. What kind would you like?”

    (The customer waves her hand toward the case containing over twenty kinds of cheeses.)

    Customer: “Give me two packages of that.”

    Board-ering On Insane

    , | WY, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (I work at a Mexican fast food restaurant and some of our tacos come with a cardboard sleeve to help keep the ingredients from spilling. A customer orders one to try. A few moments later I see my register worker staring in amazement into the lobby. It turns out the customer is taking bites out of his taco AND the cardboard instead of removing it. We watch as he eats the whole sleeve with his taco. A few moments later…)

    Customer: “I just wanted to say I loved my burrito but the taco seemed dry.”

    Me: *trying to keep a professional face* “I’m sorry about that, sir. Let me make it up to you by making you another for free.”

    (My coworkers and I made another taco and made sure no sleeve was on it. He smiled and sat down and ate the taco. We’re still not sure he realized what he did.)

    A Closing Time Is Half Open Kinda Caller

    | Surrey, BC, Canada | Extra Stupid, Theme Of The Month, Time

    (I receive a phone call about half an hour to close.)

    Me: “Thank you for calling [Store]. This is [My Name] speaking. How may I help you?”

    Caller: “What time are you open ’til?”

    Me: “We close in 30 minutes, sir.”

    Caller: “No! I don’t want to know when you close! I want to know how long you’ll be open!”

    Me: “We’re open for another 30 minutes.”

    Caller: “Thanks!” *hangs up*

    (I’ve worked here too long.)

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