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  • August Theme Of The Month: Best. Customer. Ever!

    Category: Extra Stupid

    This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

    In The Wrong Holding Position

    | Glasgow, Scotland, UK | Bizarre, Extra Stupid

    Me: “Good evening. Thank you for calling [Company]. [My Name] speaking. How can I help you?

    Caller: “Oh, wrong number.” *hangs up*

    (To have gotten through to me the customer would have had to have waited on hold for 10 minutes, listening to repeated adverts FOR the company and also selected an option to speak with me. I still have no idea how she didn’t realise sooner.)

    Not So Closed Minded, Part 7

    | VA, USA | Bizarre, Extra Stupid

    (About half an hour before we close, we get a sudden rush of customers, leading to us being unable to lock the doors once it’s time to close. Five minutes after closing, we only have one family left in the store to finish serving when another man walks in.)

    Supervisor: “Sir, I’m sorry. We’re closed.”

    Customer: *continues toward register*

    Supervisor: “Sir, we’re closing!”

    Customer: *stops to look at chips*

    Supervisor: “Sir! I’m sorry, but we’re in the process of closing.”

    Customer: *walks to register*

    Supervisor: *now standing directly in front of customer* “Sir, I’m sorry. We’re not taking orders now. We’re closed.”

    Customer: “Oh, okay. Um… I’ll take a large ham and turkey—”

    Supervisor: “Sir! I’m sorry, but we closed five minutes ago. You’ll need to come back tomorrow.”

    Customer: “Oh. Well, you should have said something.” *walks out*

    (As soon as the previous customer’s food was ready and they were out, I ran at full sprint to the door and locked it.)

    Related:
    Not Very Closed Minded, Part 6
    Not Very Closed Minded, Part 5
    Not Very Closed Minded, Part 4

    H2-Slow, Part 6

    | USA | Extra Stupid, Pets & Animals

    (A lady comes in looking for a fish.)

    Me: “How may I help you, ma’am?”

    Lady: “Well, I want to get a fish for my daughters birthday.”

    Me: “Any type of fish in mind?”

    Lady: *points to the betta fish* “This one is very pretty, so this one.”

    Me: “Okay. Do you have a tank for it?” *points to tank*

    Lady: “I don’t need a tank; I can just put him in a cup.”

    Me: “Um, ma’am. You cannot just put a fish in a cup. It needs to be in a tank.”

    Lady: “That’s silly; all it needs is water and a cup!”

    Me: “How about food? It needs more room than just a cup. Also, it needs a filter.”

    Lady: “Wait, doesn’t it eat the water?”

    (I told her all the stuff she needed for the fish. Instead she got a hamster because it was much easier to take care of. I made sure to give her guidebooks and told her to call us whenever she needed help with something.)

    Related:
    H2Slow, Part 5
    H2Slow, Part 4
    H2Slow, Part 3

    Putting The Green Into The Machine

    , | Seattle, WA, USA | Extra Stupid, Money

    (The customer orders her food and starts to drive off before the total was told.)

    Employee: “The total will be $10.27.”

    Customer: *muffled, because she’s pulled forward* “Did you received my $20.”

    Employee: “I’m sorry.”

    Customer: *still muffled* “Did you get my $20?”

    Employee: “I’m sorry, ma’am. Could you please pull up to the first window and we’ll take care of it?”

    (The customer pulls up to the drive thru window.)

    Customer: “I was asking if you received my $20. I put it in the machine.”

    Employee: *trying not to laugh* “Ma’am, we don’t have a machine. We take cash at the window.”

    Customer: “Oh, I guess my money is outside, then.”

    (One of the employees was sent out to get the customer’s money from the drive thru speaker.)

    Going To Get Charged With Nine Months

    | CT, USA | Criminal/Illegal, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Health & Body, Liars & Scammers

    (I work in this small grocery store and we don’t get many customers until one day…)

    Me: “Good morning, ma’am. How may I help you?”

    Customer: “Hello, could you help me with my stuff.”

    (The lady has a large stomach.)

    Me: “Sure, ma’am.”

    (I help her, but she slips a bit and I see a watermelon sticking out a bit from her shirt.)

    Me: “Ma’am, I’m going to have to ask you to remove the watermelon from your shirt.”

    Customer: “WHAT THE F*** ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, YOU DISRESPECTFUL B****?! CAN’T YOU SEE I’M PREGNANT?!”

    Me: “I can see it slipping from your shirt…”

    (At this point the customer started running away, but fell over herself. The watermelon splattered everywhere and she kept screaming MY BABY! MY POOR BABY! but realized it was useless and she was caught. That really made my day.)

    Related:
    See this story as a comic!

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