Featured Story:
  • A Caffeinated Christmas Miracle
    (2,879 thumbs up)
  • Category: Extra Stupid

    This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

    You Shall Not Pass(word)

    , | MB, Canada | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Technology

    Customer: “I’m not getting my emails on my phone.”

    Me: “Okay, your email isn’t syncing because you haven’t typed your password in.”

    Customer: “What’s my password?!”

    Me: “I don’t know sir; it would be whatever you originally chose for a password.”

    Customer: “Well, I don’t remember. Why don’t you know it?!”

    Me: “That would negate the purpose of a password, sir. You don’t WANT me to know your password. Your email accounts have nothing to do with [Company].”

    Customer: “AND YOU CALL YOURSELF CUSTOMER SERVICE?!” *storms out*

    Doesn’t Get The Mechanics Of A Wrong Number

    | UK | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Transportation

    (I’m a school science technician. I’ve never worked with cars. I am definitely not a mechanic. I answer my personal mobile phone.)

    Me: “Hello?”

    Caller: “Hello. I’d like to book a road-worthiness test.”

    Me: “Oh, sorry, you’ve got the wrong number. This happens to me quite frequently. I must have a similar number to a garage.”

    Caller: “Oh. Well, you know, I’ve got a whole fleet of vehicles that need testing.”

    Me: “I’m afraid that doesn’t change the fact I am not a garage. I’m sorry.”

    Caller: “Oh.”

    (Extended silence.)

    Caller: “But I have lots of vehicles that need testing.”

    Me: “I’m still not a mechanic. Sorry. Good luck.”

    (I hung up, hoping he wouldn’t call back. He didn’t, luckily!)

    Has Hang Ups Over Not Pressing Buttons

    | Los Angeles, CA, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

    (I work at an IT department for a phone company handling calls from customers. This is the tail-end of a conversation my coworker has been having for over 30 minutes to help a self-proclaimed ‘Princeton-educated lawyer’ change the settings on her smartphone.)

    Coworker: “All right, ma’am, please listen to me. Do not touch any buttons on your phone before I tell you to. Do not touch any buttons before I tell you too. Please don’t press any buttons before I tell you. Now what you will need to do is [gives first set of instructions].”

    (The line immediately goes dead as the woman hung up. Three minutes later my coworker gets a flagged call saying someone is asking for him by name.)

    Customer: “Why the h*** did you hang up on me?!”

    Coworker: “Did you press any buttons?”

    Customer: “Well, yeah. You told me to press [button that also hangs up].”

    Coworker: “Pressing that button hangs up the phone, ma’am.”

    Customer: “Well, why didn’t you say something?”

    Has No Meat Between Their Ears

    | Milwaukee, WI, USA | Extra Stupid, Health & Body, Pets & Animals, Top

    (I wear a leather duster, leather hat, and leather boots. I am working a booth for my employer and am approached by a customer.)

    Customer: “Leather is murder.”

    Me: “Well, the animal died for its meat. Might as well use its skin.”

    Customer: “Meat is murder.”

    Me: “Okay, so is eating anything else.”

    Customer: “I am a vegan. Nothing I eat or wear is alive.”

    Me: “Plants are alive.”

    Customer: “But they do not feel and are not really alive.”

    (I spot her leather boots.)

    Me: “What about your boots?”

    Customer: “They are made from vegan-friendly leather.”

    (I look again at the obvious cowhide name-brand boots.)

    Me: “They look like cowhide to me.”

    Customer: “But they are VEGAN friendly. The salesperson told me. I think they come from a leather tree. You know like a rubber tree.”

    Me: “There are no leather trees. They came from a cow.”

    (The customer is getting really mad and shouting at me.)

    Customer: “This isn’t about me wearing vegan leather! This is about you wearing non-vegan leather!”

    Me: “I am sorry, but there is no such thing as vegan leather.”

    Customer: “The salesperson told me it was vegan friendly. I bought them from [Major Boot Chain] and they wouldn’t lie.”

    Me: “Sorry, but the only place you get leather is the skin of an animal.”

    Customer: “Well, then cows must shed their skin like a snake and they used that. But this IS vegan leather.”

    Me: “If a cow sheds its skin it dies. That is how you get the meat out.”

    Customer: “LEATHER IS MURDER!”

    (The customer walks off pointing at me and yelling ‘murderer!’)

    Me: “Next?”

    Following Customer: “Did that just happen?”

    Me: “I would love to know what happened at the leather store that sold her the boots.”

    Disturbingly Dense, Part 3

    | USA | Extra Stupid, Hotels & Lodging

    Customer: “I’d like to make a complaint. I’ve been here for two nights already, and not once has my room been cleaned! What kind of hotel is this?”

    Me: “I’m sorry for the trouble, ma’am.” *checks with housekeeping* “Ma’am, the housekeeper says that there was a ‘Do Not Disturb’ sign on your doorknob.”

    Customer: “What? I thought that meant don’t disturb me, not no housekeeping!”

    (I calmly explain it, while she screams for a refund from for not making things clearer. She didn’t get it.)

    Related:
    Disturbingly Dense, Part 2
    Disturbingly Dense

    Page 44/228First...4243444546...Last