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  • November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

    Category: Extra Stupid

    This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

    Give The Description The Boot

    | Cedar Rapids, IA, USA | Bizarre, Extra Stupid

    (I work for an online retailer but we have over a hundred stores across the nation. I work in the call center portion.)

    Me: “Thanks for calling [Retail]. This is [My Name].”

    Customer: “I have a quick question about your [Brand of shoes we carry]. Do they come as a set? Because it says ‘boot’ on the website and I don’t want to spend $210 on one boot.”

    Me: “Yes, ma’am. They are sold as a set.”

    Customer: “Great! Tell your supervisor to fix it online.” *click*

    Lack Of Burger Flippers Makes Her Flip

    , | Springfield, IL, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (I work in a major Chinese food chain that has just opened up in the area, right around Christmas time. The store is incredibly busy, both inside, and in the drive through. The wait time for both is long. We time the drive through at about 15 minutes. A lady gets up to the ordering area, after waiting in line all that time and says:)

    Customer: “You don’t have any cheeseburgers?”

    Me: *politely* “Uh… no, ma’am. We only serve Chinese food.”

    Customer: “But you are a DRIVE-thru! You should have cheeseburgers!”

    (She was not able to drive off angrily, because of customers still in front of her waiting to pay and pick up their food. When she was able, she gunned it and took off! She probably wasted half an hour.)

    A Small Sample Of Big Stupid

    | USA | Extra Stupid, Money

    (In the local mall there is a kiosk that only opens during the holidays which sells products such as smoked meats, cheeses, and the like. I always stop by there to get a few things when they open and am a customer while this is happening.)

    Customer: “Could I get another one of these? This one is open.”

    (She hands the employee a bottle of honey mustard that is marked ‘sample.’)

    Employee #1: “Oh! I’m sorry, ma’am, that’s the sample bottle. The unopened ones are right down there on the other side of the counter.”

    Customer: “Oh, thanks!”

    (She grabs an unopened bottle and starts to walk off with it.)

    Employee #1: “Ma’am, you have to pay for that.”

    Customer: “But it’s a sample.”

    Employee #1: “No, it’s not. You have to pay for it.”

    Customer: “But that one’s marked sample.” *she points to the sample bottle* “Samples are free.”

    Employee #1: “Yes, that one is. That’s the bottle we use to get samples out of. We have it marked so we don’t accidentally try to sell it to a customer.”

    Customer: “But she’s getting one!”

    (She points to me and the bottle of honey mustard that I have in my hand.)

    Employee #1: “She is, ma’am, and she’s paying for it.”

    Customer: “Paying?”

    Employee #1: “Yes. With money.”

    Customer: “So I have to pay with money to get this? It isn’t free?”

    Employee #1: “No. It isn’t free.”

    Customer: “Oh… Well, I don’t want it then, but thank you.”

    (She sets the bottle of mustard down on the counter and walks away without further issue.)

    Me: “What just happened here?”

    Employee #2: “Oh, did the crazy sample lady come back? I’ve worked this kiosk for three years now and she does this every year. You’d think she’d have figured out that that’s not how samples work by now.”

    Doesn’t Get The Employee Part Of Discount

    | FL, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (I work for a major pizza chain, and have since I was fourteen. This call starts slow, with the customer having to ask someone in the background for every piece of information needed for delivery.)

    Me: “All right, sir, what can I get for you?”

    Customer: “Yeah, can I get, um… What do you want… pepperoni and black olive.”

    Me: “All righ—”

    Customer: “Does that come on a veggie pizza?”

    Me: “…Does pepperoni and black olive come on a veggie pizza?”

    Customer: “Yeah.”

    (I’m stunned into silence for a beat, then another waiting to see if it’s a joke.)

    Me: “No, sir, pepperoni does not come on a veggie pizza.”

    Customer: “All right… just make that one a pepperoni and black olive pizza.”

    (The rest of the phone call goes without much trouble, but slowly. Since I tend to be nice to the customers, I gave him a coupon which cut a portion of the cost off.)

    Me: “All right, sir, your total comes to $29.92 today.”

    Customer: “Nah, I’m going to use my employee discount on this.”

    (Again, I find myself stunned into silence for a beat. Then I get frustrated.)

    Me: “Two problems with that, sir. One, we’ve never offered employee discount on delivery. Two, you don’t work at this store.”

    Customer: “Oh, I have to work there for that?”

    Me: *head on desk* “Yes, sir, you have to work here for an employee discount.”

    The Birds And The Bees And The Fish

    | OH, USA | Extra Stupid, Pets & Animals

    (An adult calls our aquarium with a question.)

    Caller: “Do red devils have babies?”

    (Red devils are a type of cichlid.)

    Me: *thinking this is a prank* “Yes, they do.”

    Caller: “How does that happen?”

    Me: “Well, when a boy fish and a girl fish love each other very much…”

    Caller: “No, no, I get that, but I had a male and it was fine, but when I put a female in the tank with it, after a while there were all these tiny red fish in there.”

    Me: “Yes?”

    Caller: *sounding confused* “So are they…?”

    Me: “Yes.”

    Caller: *frustrated* “But how does that happen?!”

    Me: “What exactly are you asking me?”

    Caller: “I’m asking you if my fish can have babies!”

    Me: “Yes. Yes, they can.”