July Theme Of The Month: Great Timing!

Category: Extra Stupid

This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

Next Door Chore

| Edmonton, AB, Canada | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid

Customer: “Hi, I bought these tweezers but the light doesn’t work. I want a refund.”

Me: “Sure, do you have your receipt?

Customer: *hands me a [Grocery Store] receipt*

Me: “Oh, looks like you bought this at [Grocery Store].”

Customer: “So?”

Me: “This isn’t [Grocery Store]. That’s next door.”

Customer: *angry* “Well, NOW what do I do?!”

Me: “… Go next door and get a refund?”

Customer: “Well! This is highly inconvenient!”

The Non-Voice Of Reason

| Oklahoma City, OK, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

Me: “Thank you for calling [Company]. My name is [My Name]. Please tell me your policy number?”

Headset: “BEEP-BEEP-BOOP-BEEP-BOOP” *as the policyholder punches in the policy number*

Me: “Please use your voice to tell me your policy number.”

The Only Way To Stop The Call Going Down Under

| IA, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Language & Words, Technology

(I work at a well-known electronics store in the computer department.  I am at the customer service desk finishing up with another customer when the phone rings. Seeing that the customer service reps are all busy I take the call.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Store]. This is [My Name]. How can I help you?”

Caller: “Yes, I would like to speak to someone in computers.”

Me: “I can actually help you. What questions do you have?”

Caller: “Oh… I thought I called the customer service desk.”

Me: “You did. I just happened to be up here and answered the phone.”

Caller: “Well, I would really like to talk to someone in computers.”

Me: “I do work in the computer department. I was just up here…”

Caller: “Could you please transfer me to computers so I can talk to a computer salesman?”

Me: “Okay… please hold.”

(My manager is standing close by and asked what is going on. I explain the call to him and tell him I am going to go to the computer department to take the call. My manager decides to follow me since he knows my sense of humor and is sure this is only going to get better. Once in the computer department I pick up the call.)

Me: “[Store] computers. This is [My Name]. How can I help you?”

Caller: “Aren’t you the guy I just asked to transfer me to computers?”

Me: “Yes. I am in the computer department. How can I help you?”

Customer: “I WANT SOMEONE WHO WORKS IN COMPUTERS!”

Me: “Sir, I do work in computers and I am fact in the computer department. How can I help you?”

Caller: “DON’T LIE TO ME. YOU WORK IN CUSTOMER SERVICE AND I TOLD YOU I WANT TO SPEAK TO A COMPUTER SALESMAN NOW OR I WILL TAKE MY BUSINESS ELSEWHERE!”

Me: “Okay, sir, please hold.”

(I hang up the phone and get the grin on my face that my coworkers as well as my manager know means I’m thinking up something good. After a few seconds I pick the phone back up.)

Me: *in an obviously fake Australian accent* “G’Day, sir! How can help you?”

(My manager and coworkers are covering their mouths to hide their laughter.)

Caller: “Finally. I have a question about the computer in your ad.”

(I answered all the customers questions still with an Australian accent, and tried hard not to laugh myself. The customer thanked me and stated that he will be in later to pick up the computer. My manager told me the next day that the caller came in after my shift and asked to speak to the nice Australian man that helped on the phone. It was all he could do to keep a straight face.)

I Do Work Here, Does Not Work Here

| Perth, WA, Australia | Bizarre, Extra Stupid, Theme Of The Month

(I am working in a popular clothing store chain. I notice a woman browsing so I approach her.)

Me: “Hi there. Can I help you find anything?”

Her: “Oh, that’s very kind of you, but I’m sure I can flag down a staff member soon.”

Me: “I am a staff member.”

(She looks at me, somewhat shocked.)

Her: “You?! You don’t look like you work here at all!”

(I laughed and showed her my store ID. She blushed and apologised profusely. This actually happened on numerous occasions over the time I worked there. Every staff member looked quite similar: bleached blonde hair, long fake nails, tight, revealing clothing, and sandals or heels. Then there was me: naturally dark blonde, wearing the most subtle and body covering clothing the store carried, and sneakers. It was no wonder!)

Pest Control Out Of Control

| WV, USA | Extra Stupid, Family & Kids, Health & Body, Pets & Animals

(I work at a local pharmacy.)

Customer: “I need to buy some Raid.”

Me: “Okay, ma’am, let’s go look at the display.”

(We walked to the display, and I began showing her various items.)

Me: “Here’s something for ants—”

Customer: “No, I don’t need that.”

Me: “Okay. Um, here’s something for roaches.”

Customer: “No, I don’t have roaches.”

Me: “Do you have hornets or wasps or something?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Ma’am, can you tell me a little more about what, exactly, you need the Raid for?”

Customer: “My son has lice.”

Me: “Oh! Oh, God. No, ma’am, you don’t want Raid. You want Rid. Please don’t spray Raid on your son’s head!”

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