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    Category: Extra Stupid

    This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

    Self-Disservice Checkout, Part 2

    | Grand Junction, CO, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Technology

    (I make a quick stop at a grocery store one afternoon. I am using the self-checkout when I can’t help but overhear a couple at the self-check stand behind me.)

    Lady: “Why isn’t it working?”

    Man: “I don’t know. Just set it on the scanner.”

    Lady: “It still isn’t doing anything. Why won’t it scan?”

    (My curiosity finally gets to me and I turn to see what the problem was. The couple has a bell pepper, without any barcodes or stickers on it, and are trying to figure out why the scanner can’t read it. I just stand there staring at them in shock when the attendant walks up to assist them.)

    Attendant: “Oh, here, I’ll show you. There’s no barcode on that. You have to find the code.”

    Lady: “What!?! Why does it need a barcode?”

    Related:
    Self-Diservice Checkout

    A Few Sandwiches Short Of A Picnic

    | Reno, NV, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Theme Of The Month

    (A lot of middle and high school students from all over the state are in town for an event. The shop is slammed, but we’re doing our best to move the line along quickly. The board behind me lists our 18 different cold sandwich options in huge letters. It also states the bread sizes: small, medium, and large.)

    Me: “Hello. What can I get for you today?”

    Customer #1: “Um… can I have a… medium sandwich?”

    Me: “Sure thing. What kind of sandwich would you like?”

    Customer #1: “Medium?”

    Me: *pointing at the board behind me* “Absolutely, what kind of meat and cheese would you like on your sandwich?”

    Customer #1: “Um… white bread?”

    Me: *grabbing a medium white roll* “Okay, and what kind of meat would you like? We have ham, turkey, roast beef…”

    Customer #1: *starting to look confused and angry* “Just a regular sandwich!”

    (The customer gestures at the sandwich belonging to the customer in front of him, which already has lettuce and tomato on it, obscuring the meats.)

    Customer #1: “Like that one!”

    Me: “Okay, so that one’s a ham, turkey, and provolone. Would you like that?”

    Customer #1: ” … ham.”

    Me: “Great! Any cheese?”

    Customer #1: “I just want a regular sandwich!”

    (I quickly make him a ham and American cheese sandwich, pass him to the next person working the line, and turn to my next customer.)

    Me: “Hello, miss! What can I get for you today?”

    Customer #2: “Can I have a… small sandwich?”

    Me: “Absolutely. What kind of meat and cheese?”

    Customer #2: (staring at the board) “Oh, I guess wheat bread?”

    (It was a long day.)

    Aisle Need A Break After This

    | MA, USA | Extra Stupid, Theme Of The Month

    Patron: “I’d like a seat on an aisle.”

    Me: “Unfortunately I have no aisle seats available for this performance. I can do row H in the right section.”

    Patron: “Is that on an aisle?”

    Me: “No. As I said, I have no aisle seats for this show. If row H doesn’t work, I can give you row O in the center.”

    Patron: “Are those on an aisle?”

    Me: “No, they are not.”

    Patron: “Well, I’ll take the first ones you said.”

    Me: “Okay, row H, seats 6 and 8.”

    Patron: “And those are on the aisle, right?”

    Good Thing Stupid Isn’t Contagious

    | CA, USA | Extra Stupid, Health & Body, Theme Of The Month

    (I work in an ObGyn office in lab follow up. I have the unfortunate job of calling patients for positive STD results.)

    Me: “Hello, may I speak to [Patient]?”

    Patient: “This is her.”

    Me: “I’m from Dr. [Name]‘s office . Before we proceed, I need to verify I am speaking with the patient. Can you verify this information?”

    (The patient proceeds to answer all verifying personal info.)

    Me: “I am calling about your test results. Your results for [STD] have come back positive. It is a common infection that can easily be treated by this antibiotic. Is there a pharmacy you would prefer it be called into?”

    Patient: “WTF?! YOUR TEST LIES! I know for a fact I can’t have this infection! You guys gave me birth control pills!”

    Me: “I understand that this can be a very hard news to hear, but you have tested positive and we need to treat you. When we give you birth control, we make it a point to let you know it will not protect you from STDs.”

    Patient: “Oh, I guess I missed that part. Does this mean he gave me diabetes, too?”

    Me: “No, diabetes is not sexually transmitted.”

    Patient: “I’m going to go see my regular doctor and get tested for it just in case.”

    Common Sense Isn’t In The Cards

    | USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Technology, Theme Of The Month

    (I work at a grocery store that has a club card for ‘extra’ savings. Two customers come up with a six-case of wine. I ring them up.)

    Me: “Ma’am, do you have a club card?”

    Customer #1: “What is this?! You are charging me too much! Fix it!”

    Me: “If you just swipe your club card, the price will drop. Do you have one?”

    Customer #1: “You are overcharging me! Give me my money!”

    Me: *calmly* “Do you have a club card?”

    Customer #1: “I said give me the correct price NOW!”

    Me: “Ma’am, you need to put in your club card number for the discount. Do you have—”

    Customer #2: “Listen, girl, just give us the correct price!” *begins screaming in unison with friend*

    Me: *being interrupted every other word* “I cannot give it to you without a club card. Would you like to sign up for one?”

    (Eventually, I beckon my manager over and end up using one of our spare cards to show them the discount. He smoothes things over, but not before one of them tells him that I should be more polite. He pulls me aside to ask what happened.)

    Me: “They wouldn’t let me even explain that they needed a club card for their discount.”

    Boss: “Well, next time, just swipe it. And remember, just because you and I have common sense doesn’t mean they do.”

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