Category: Extra Stupid

This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

Charged With Stupid Indignation

| Port St Lucie, FL, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Money, Theme Of The Month

(A customer presents two coupons, both for large sandwiches.)

Customer: “Can I use these both?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am.”

Customer: “Okay can I get a [Sandwich #1] and a [Sandwich #2]. But I want extra lettuce, tomato, and sauce on that one. And can I get one fish sandwich?”

Me: “Sure, just let me take these two coupons off for you, okay?”

(I give her the two free sandwiches so she’s only paying for one.)

Customer: “All right, that sounds good to me!”

(Her order is finished, she has the bag, her coupons were taken off, everything seems perfect. But of course, it isn’t.)

Customer: “Ma’am?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am. Is there something wrong here?”

Customer: “Well, yeah, you charged me for two sandwiches.”

Me: *checks the receipt* “The only sandwich you paid for was the one with extra toppings. They came to a little more, but I assure you, you only paid for one of the three.”

Customer: “No, you charged me. Look here.” *points to the one sandwich she paid for*

Me: “Yes, I charged you for that sandwich. But where it says ‘1P,’ means it was free. There is one on the [Sandwich #1] and one on the fish.”

Customer: “But you charged me for two sandwiches.”

Me: *speaks a little slower* “The 1P next to the sandwiches make them $0. Free. You have two free sandwiches. Two.”

Customer: “Ma’am. You charged me for two.”

(I wanted to bash my head into the register. Finally after about six minutes, she finally understood that I only charged for one sandwich, and then left happily.)

They Won’t Stop For Muffin

| Montreal, QC, Canada | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(I’m a cook working the breakfast shift. I notice two women sitting at the bar arguing with the waitress. We no longer serve bagels due to lack of sales and a high volume of losses, this being specified on the menu.)

Customer #1: “So, do you guys serve like bagel sandwiches. You know like the ones at [Popular Chain Restaurant]?”

Waitress: “I’m sorry, but those are not offered on the menu.”

Customer #2: “But you can make it right?”

Waitress: “Is it on the menu?”

Customer #2: “No, but can you?”

Waitress: “It’s not on the menu, so I”ll have to say no.”

Customer #2: “You do make breakfast sandwiches though?”

Waitress: “Well, that is on the menu so yes.”

Customer #1: “Okay, so we’ll take the English muffin.”

Waitress: “Okay.”

Customer #1: “But I want to switch the ham for bacon.”

Waitress: “We can do that.”

Customer #1: “I’ll also want lettuce and tomato in it.”

Customer #2: “At the same time we’d like to switch the English muffin for a bagel.”

Self-Helpless Against Stupidity

| Middletown, NJ, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Extra Stupid, Technology, Theme Of The Month

(One of the local supermarkets recently ‘upgraded’ their self-checkout systems. While nominally faster, the new systems are more complicated and far more prone to bugs. The first time I hit the ‘use a coupon’ button the whole screen is covered with a ‘please wait for attendant’ warning. One of the workers comes over.)

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry; I don’t know what happened.”

Attendant: “Let me guess. You needed to use a coupon?”

Me: “Um… yeah?”

Attendant: “No problem. One second.”

(She swipes her ID card, types in a code, swipes the coupon, hits ‘done,’ and puts it in the slot.)

Attendant: “There you go.”

Me: “I guess there’s a problem with the coupon part?”

Attendant: “Yeah, we had a rash of people having issues with the sensor when putting the coupons in the slot who were just about ripping the machine apart instead of asking for any help at all.”

Me: “There’s no way they’d be that—”

(As if scripted, there’s suddenly a loud banging just behind us at the other machine; another shopper’s receipt jams in the printer because they tried to yank it out before it was done printing, and she is now PUNCHING the printer to try to get it to work.)

Me: “…okay, thank you for the help. Have a nice day and God’s speed, brave warrior!”

Attendant: “Once more into the breach!”

Reached Rock-Bottom Dollar

| NC, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Math & Science, Theme Of The Month

(I’m finishing up a transaction with a customer when she hands me two coupons. I scan the $5 off coupon first, and then the 10% off coupon.)

Me:“Your total comes to [total].”

Customer #1: “YOU JUST CHEATED ME OUT OF A DOLLAR!”

Me: *taken aback* “I’m sorry, what?”

Customer #1: “You scanned the $5 one first, which then lowered the price so the 10 % off comes out to less!”

Me:“Oh, I’m sorry it looks that way. It’s actually just the way our system works. The $5 coupon is seen as a coupon, and not a form of tender. You haven’t actually paid $5, so if I had scanned the 10% one first, once I scanned the $5 one, it would have lowered your discount to the same.”

Customer #1: “No, it wouldn’t have. You’re just making that up. You did that on purpose!”

Me: “Ma’am, I promise you it would have. That’s actually why I did the $5 one first, because I’ve seen it happen, and customers get upset when they see the discount get smaller.”

Customer #1: “Look, I know it’s only $1, but what you’re saying makes no sense. You have no idea what you’re talking about!”

Me: “Ma’am, I’ve been here three years. I can promise you that is what would have happened, However, if you would like, I can call the manager up here to void the transaction and I will do it your way so you can see.”

Customer #1: “No, I don’t have time for that! It’s only $1, but you cheated me. I don’t have time for this!”

(This goes on for a full three minutes of her yelling at me for cheating her out of $1 and me offering to have the transaction voided and her insisting that she doesn’t have time. Finally, a customer at the tag engraving machine decides that he’s had enough.)

Customer #2: “Lady! You keep insisting that it is no big deal and that you don’t have time, but you’ve wasted her time and mine by arguing even though she has offered numerous times to do it your way. I will give you the d*** dollar if it means you will shut the h*** up and just leave!”

Customer #1: *grunts, glares at me and him, RIPS her bags out of my hands, and storms off*

Customer #2: *sighs* “You couldn’t pay me enough to work even one shift for you.”

Triply Unappetizing

| USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(I work at as a hostess in a popular chain restaurant. We have an appetizer that lets you pick and choose three appetizers. The customer would get a smaller sample size of each. In this situation I’m taking a to-go order, in person.)

Customer: “I’d like to get your triple appetizer. I want to get the buffalo wings, but honey flavor.”

Me: “Sure thing! What other two appetizers would you like?”

Customer: *stares* “I want the honey wings.”

Me: “Okay. Just to be clear, you’re saying you would like the triple with your three choices as the honey wings, right?”

Customer: *annoyed* “I don’t think you’re listening to me at all, so I’m going to repeat myself. I want a triple with honey wings.”

Me: “Yes, I understand that. But in a triple you can choose any three of these appetizers.” *points to list*

Customer: *angry now, condescendingly* “You obviously aren’t listening to me, still. I’m going to repeat myself one last time, slowly so you can understand me, okay? I want you to listen to what I’m saying to you. I WANT A TRIPLE, WITH HONEY WINGS.”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. I know that you want the honey wings in a triple, but I need to know which other two choices you want. If you don’t want any other choice, you can get an order of the wings by themselves.”

(The man glares at me, and is visibly more angry. The man’s son, who I didn’t even see behind him, stands next to his father and speaks up.)

Customer’s Son: “Dad, I think she’s trying to say that you get to pick three of these things when you get a triple.”

Customer: *grumbles* “I’ll just get it how it’s pictured, but with honey wings. That’s all for me.”

Me: “All right, your total is [Total] and it should be ready in about fifteen minutes.”

(About fifteen minutes later, I give the man his food. He takes the box out of the bag to inspect it.)

Customer: “Why are the food portions so much smaller than a regular appetizer? And why aren’t these egg rolls cut like in the picture? And what sauce is this?!”

Me: “The portions are smaller because its a sampler. It might not look like much, but it really is a good amount of food! The egg rolls aren’t cut because they stay warmer when you don’t cut them. That sauce is extra honey sauce for your wings.”

(The customer looked at his son, shook his head, sighed audibly, and left.)

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