October Theme Of The Month: Halloween!

Category: Extra Stupid

This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

How To Get Yourself Fired

| London, England, UK | Extra Stupid

(I work for an IT company that, among other things, provides technical support for IT equipment to customers. On company I take calls for has hundreds of small restaurants dotted across the UK. I receive a call from a site in London around the time of the riots.)

Me: “Welcome to the [Company] support desk. You’re speaking to [My Name]. How can I help?”

Customer: “Hi, this is [Store]. The building next to us has been set fire and the smoke and flames are coming into our building. What do we do?”

Me: *in a slightly panicked voice* “Silly question, but have you contacted the fire department and evacuated the building?”

Customer: “errr… No, what’s their number?”

Me: “999.” *the number for emergency services in the UK*

Customer: “Okay, I’ll call them now.”

This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 44

, | SC, USA | Extra Stupid, Money, Technology

Customer: “I have your mobile app… I know I can take a picture of a check and make a deposit that way. But I want to know how to make a mobile withdrawal…”

Me: “You want to know if you can make a mobile withdrawal?”

Customer: “Yes. I can’t figure out any way to do that.”

Me: “Well, sir, there is no way to do that because you would have to go to an ATM or into a branch to get actual cash.”

Customer: “But I’m not at an ATM and your branch is closed. I want to deposit this check through the app and get cash right now.”

Me: “Well sir, frankly, technology hasn’t gotten to the point where mobile phones can print – and even at that, printing money, unless done by the government, is illegal.”

Customer: “So I can’t make a mobile withdrawal?”

Me: “No, sir.”

Customer: “That’s stupid.” *click*

This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 43
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 42
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 41

This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 43

| Vancouver, BC, Canada | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Money

(Working for a large retail chain, our manager had decided that we would no longer accept checks, since they usually ended up bouncing. A customer walks up to the counter with an armful of stuff and pulls out his checkbook.)

Me: “Sorry, sir, but we don’t accept checks here.”

Customer: “But I prefer using checks.”

Me: “Sorry, we don’t accept them… How about your debit card?”

Customer: “I can’t use that. There’s no money in the account.”

Me: “Um… is this the same account for the check you were going to write?”

Customer: “Of course!”

This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 42
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 41
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 40

Trying To Make A Clean Getaway

| Wales, UK | Bizarre, Extra Stupid

(I am cleaning a laboratory; I have wet floor signs out and a sign saying “Cleaning in progress.” Cleaning takes place when no one is normally around. I have mop in my hand and a bucket beside me.)

Biologist: “Are you cleaning the floor?”

Me: “Yes, I have a certain time slot to do it and normally no one around.”

Biologist: “Well I haven’t seen any warning signs!”

(I point to several and cleaning sign.)

Biologist: “Have you mopped the floor over there?”

Me: “Yes I have; a couple of minutes ago.”

Biologist: “Is the floor where you just mopped going to be wet?”

Me: “…Yup.”

(Glad all those years in university weren’t wasted!)

A Third Of The Way To A Breakdown

| MN, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Math & Science

(The current sale on a certain brand of pizzas is three for $10, making the sale price for each $3.33. A customer comes through the line with two pizzas.)

Customer: “I know the sign says three for $10, but I only want to buy two of these pizzas.”

Me: “That’s fine; they ring up at the sale price no matter how many you buy.”

(I scan one pizza and show him that it rings up as $3.33.)

Customer: “NO! You don’t understand; I want the SALE PRICE.”

Me: “$3.33 is the sale price.”

Customer: “No, it’s not!”

(I’m beginning to have a line, so I pull out a calculator to show the math.)

Me: “It is, sir. Look. Ten divided by three is 3.33.”


Next Customer: “I do.”

(The first customer refused to believe me, saying that he’d pay for them just this once. He also said he’d be informing a manager about the wrong sale price. Needless to say, I did not get in trouble.)

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