Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • Had It Up To Their Neck With Bad Customers
    (2,476 thumbs up)
  • April Themed Story Giveaway: Creepy Customers!
    Submit your story today!

    Category: Extra Stupid

    This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

    Forget To Drink To Forget

    | London, England, UK | Extra Stupid, Family & Kids, Food & Drink

    (I’m bartending at a wedding and the bar is quiet. A father approaches the bar with his newly 18-year-old daughter.)

    Father: “I’ll have a pint of Guinness, please.”

    Me: “Certainly, sir. Is there anything else I can get you?”

    Father: “Do you want anything, [Daughter]?”

    Daughter: “Oh, I’ll just have some water, please.”

    Father: “Are you sure? You’re allowed alcohol now, remember!”

    Daughter: *face lights up* “Oh, yeah! Uhm…” *falls silent for about five seconds* “What do you have?”

    (I motion to the wide range of alcoholic beverages behind me.)

    Me: “Whatever you fancy, ma’am.”

    Daughter: “Uhm… I don’t know! What do I want?”

    (Her father says nothing, so I presume the question is to me.)

    Me: “Well, what do you normally drink? We have a very wide range of spirits behind me, cold beer on tap in front of you, and several ciders and ales in the fridges that I can list if you’d like.”

    Daughter: “Uhm, can I have a rum and Coke?”

    Me: “Of course, ma’am! Light or dark rum?”

    Daughter: “Uhm… Do you have Barcardi?”

    Me: “Coming right up!”

    (I make her Barcardi and Coke and pour the father his Guinness before taking payment. As the daughter walks away, the father sighs.)

    Father: “I’m very sorry about that! Sometimes I wonder if she’s all there!”

    (He then walks away without his Guinness, returning a minute or so later to collect it with a sheepish look on his face!)

    Stay Barred Or Behind Bars

    | AB, Canada | Bad Behavior, Extra Stupid

    (I work at a well known coffee shop as a barista. This particular customer was a regular before he was banned from our location because he would often host religious, awkward rants with random customers in line. Management has informed us to call the police anytime he enters the cafe now. The banned customer enters the cafe, and instead of entering a line for the cash register, he approaches me on bar.)

    Me: “You know you can’t be in here, [Banned Customer].”

    (My supervisor spots him and right away grabs the phone and heads into the employees only room.)

    Banned Customer: “Can I just get a drink before the cops get here? I’ll leave right after.”

    Me: I don’t think you understand the whole ‘you’re not allowed in here’ part.”

    (The banned customer cast me a spiteful eye glare and defeatedly walked out, but not before taking a shaker of nutmeg off of the condiment bar. He still comes in.)

    Playing With Fire

    | OH, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid

    (I work in a gas station that is a part of a larger superstore. We get a lot of calls to the gas station from customers trying to reach the store, but we can’t transfer them to the store from the station. This call happens during a crisis involving the main store catching on fire. Smoke and flames are clearly visible from the gas station, and it looks pretty bad. Everyone has been evacuated from the main store.)

    Me: “Hello. Thank you for calling [Gas Station]. How may I help you?”

    Customer: “Toy department.”

    Me: “Ma’am, this is actually the gas statio—”

    Customer: *louder* “TOY DEPARTMENT.”

    Me: “Yes, ma’am, but this is just the gas station. I cannot transfer you from here. Normally I’d give you the number for the main store. But, um, everyone’s evacuated because the store is kind of on fire right now.”

    Customer: “What? TOY DEPARTMENT, for Christ’s sake! Why won’t you just help me?”

    Me: “As I said before, ma’am, THE BUILDING IS ON FIRE. I’m sorry, but you’re going to have to call back at a later time. There is no one in the store to take your call right now.”

    Customer: “WHY THE H*** NOT?!”

    Verbal Abuse Of Contract

    | Houston, TX, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Money

    Me: “You have a 24-month contract. If you cancel before the end of the agreement you will have an early termination fee.”

    Customer: “I am telling you verbally to cancel the contract. So you can’t charge me a fee.”

    Me: “Ma’am, you signed the contract. It is binding. Do you recall signing the contract when your service was activated?”

    Customer: “Yes, I signed the contract. But it’s void because I’m telling you verbally to cancel it.”

    Me: “Telling us to cancel the contract does not void it. That’s like calling my mortgage company and saying my contract is invalid and I don’t owe any more payments because I am telling them verbally it’s cancelled.”

    Customer: “But I am saying it. Verbally. So now I don’t have a contract.”

    (I sent her a copy of her contract. Hopefully someone helped her to understand what a contract was.)

    This Round He Lost (In Translation), Part 4

    , | USA | Extra Stupid, Family & Kids, Language & Words

    (People call us to set up appointments at counseling clinics. One of our affiliated clinics’ entire staff speaks English, Arabic, and Chaldean, so we get a lot of Arabic callers seeking appointments who may need an interpreter. I know a little bit of Arabic, but not enough to have an entire phone conversation.)

    Me: “Good afternoon. [Call Center]. How many I help you?”

    Caller: “Hello, I’d like to set up my father with an appointment to see [Doctor at Arabic facility].”

    Me: “Okay. Do you have legal guardianship over your father?”

    Caller: “No, he is his own man.”

    Me: “Well, since he’s an adult you can’t make the appointment for him, due to HIPAA laws.  Is he there with you?”

    Caller: “He’s next to me, but he only speaks Arabic.”

    Me: “Not a problem! We can do one of two things: I can get an interpreter on the phone, or he can give me permission over the phone for you to make the appointment on his behalf.”

    Caller: “Uh… but he doesn’t speak English…”

    Me: “Oh, I understand! You could explain to him in Arabic that I’m going to ask ‘Is it okay if I speak with your son on your behalf?’, and to say “N’am” or “Yes”, if he wants that service. It’s legal, and we do it all the time since some people are more comfortable with us speaking with a family member.”

    Caller: “Okay, I’ll do that. Here’s my father.”

    (I hear the phone shuffle around, and don’t hear any kind of verbal exchange indicating he’s telling his father what’s happening.)

    Me: *in Arabic* “…Hello?”

    Caller’s Father: “Huh?”

    Me: “… Is it okay if I speak with your son on your behalf?”

    Caller’s Father: “HELLO?!”

    Caller: “See, this is stupid because he doesn’t understand English.”

    Me: “… Did you explain to him what I was going to say?”

    Caller: “Ma’am, you misunderstand me! He does not speak English!”

    Me: “I understand that, sir. What I’m saying is, you could interpret this portion of the phone call, and explain to him, in Arabic, what I am about to ask him, and what he should say back if he wants you to make the appointment. I’m not asking him to understand English. If you want, I’d be more than happy to dial our interpreter line for you?”

    Caller: “NO! He wants ME to do it! He gave me permission before the call!”

    Me: “I need to HEAR the granted permission. If you don’t want an interpreter, please explain to him the Arabic translation of what I’m about to ask him in English.”

    (The caller grumbles and again hands the phone over without saying anything to his father. His father keeps yelling ‘No English’ and ‘Hello.’ The caller takes the phone again and starts screaming.)

    Caller: “HE DOES NOT SPEAK ENGLISH! You are completely incompetent! How am I supposed to interpret if he doesn’t speak English!”

    Me: “Here is how interpreting works. You tell him, in ARABIC, what I am going to ask him. So you are explaining that I will say the ENGLISH EQUIVALENT of what you are saying to him IN ARABIC.”

    Caller: “Don’t tell me how my language works!”

    (Suddenly, I hear a door slam and a confused female voice in the background. The caller is yelling with the female voice in Arabic and English, and the female voice suddenly says, ‘hold on, let me speak with her.’ She takes the phone.)

    Caller’s Sister: *calmly* “Hi. I just came home from work, but I believe you were speaking with my brother. I thought I could help. What is it that he’s not understanding?”

    (I explain the scenario exactly as I’ve been explaining it to her brother.)

    Caller’s Sister: “Oh, okay. So I can just tell my father, in Arabic, what it is that you’re about to ask him in English?”

    Me: “Yes.”

    (The caller’s sister speaks with her father.)

    Caller’s Father: “Oh! N’am! Yes! You… speak with… my… DAUGHTER.”

    Caller’s Son: *in background* “What?! That’s bulls***! I know what I’m doing! She’s just an idiot who thinks I can’t speak Arabic!”

    Caller’s Sister: “I think you’ll be hearing from me more often than my brother. He’s spoken English his whole life, but I swear, he’s dumber than a box of rocks when people give him instructions. So sorry about that. Well, now, what else do you need to know, love?”

    Related:
    This Round He Lost (In Translation), Part 3
    This Round He Lost (In Translation), Part 2
    This Round He Lost (In Translation)


    Page 4/166First...23456...Last