November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

Category: Extra Stupid

This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

This Prank Is On A Roll

| TX, USA | Extra Stupid, Pets & Animals

(I am a vet tech at a busy vet clinic. A client comes in with his intact male puppy. After the physical exam, the dog rolls over onto his back in a submissive stance. The owner starts freaking out.)

Owner: “His testicles are rolling up!”

(The vet and I look at each other a bit confused.)

Owner: “The breeder said that the dog’s testicles would go back into his abdomen if he rolled onto his back! I’ve spent the last ten weeks preventing my dog from rolling over!”

(We laughed about this for weeks afterwards.)

Stupidity Unplugged

| Winnipeg, MB, Canada | Extra Stupid, Technology

(The customer is purchasing an electric heating pad for the bottom of his lizard cage.)

Customer: *holding the plug* “Will this work if I don’t plug it in?”

The Lawnmower Man

, | Manassas, VA, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Home Improvement

(I am working at the store and witness a coworker have this exchange with an older male customer.)

Customer: “I want to return this lawnmower. It doesn’t work.”

Coworker: “What seems to be the problem with it?”

Customer: “I told you: it doesn’t work. It did when I first bought it and then it stopped. It’s a lemon.”

Coworker: “Okay, well, we would typically attempt to get it repaired even if you return in so that we can still try and resell it. Is there anything specific about it not working that you can tell me?”

Customer: “No! It’s just a piece-of-s*** machine which is all this company seems to sell anymore! I want to return it for cash and take my business elsewhere!”

Coworker: “Sir, I appreciate that you’re upset but you need to mind your language. I will do my best to help you but you will need to calm down. Now, I have to ask a few basic questions in order to determine whether this machine really is defective. Did you use new gas when you filled the gas tank?”

Customer: *still irritated but calmer* “Yes, yes, of course I did. I’ve been using lawnmowers longer than you’ve been alive. I know how they work!”

Coworker: “And you used the proper weight and amount of oil as well?”

Customer: “What? I’ve never heard of putting oil in a lawnmower before! You don’t know what you’re talking about. Why would a lawnmower need oil?!”

Coworker: “Because it’s an internal combustion engine just like the one in your vehicle it just happens to be a smaller version.”

Customer: “That’s bulls***! Just refund my money so I can take my business somewhere with intelligent employees and decent products!”

Coworker: “I’m sorry, sir, but every person who’s ever run a lawnmower knows that they require oil as well as gas and because you ran it without oil, you destroyed the engine. You invalidated the warranty by neglecting basic maintenance.”

Customer: “This is such bulls***! None of you are worth your pay! You’re all idiots! I’m going to [Competitor] and never shopping here again!”

Email Fail, Part 6

| SC, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

Me: *sending email to client* “I will need some information from you to get your papers started.”

Client: *in a replied email* “Okay, just send me your email address and I’ll get that right to you.”

Email Fail, Part 5
Email Fail, Part 4
Email Fail, Part 3

Doesn’t Understand The Custom Part Of Customer, Part 5

| VT, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid

(I work at a somewhat upscale clothing store. Lately customers have been coming in and refusing to even acknowledge my greeting, let alone let me help them.)

Me: “Hello, welcome to [Store]. What can I help you find today?”

Customer: “I’m not telling you what I’m looking for.”

Me: “Okay. If you need anything let me know.”

(Customer proceeds to look around for about 20 minutes. I check on her several more times. She lets on that she is looking for something specific to wear to a graduation. She will not tell me what it is.)

Customer: *leaving* “Well, I guess you just don’t carry cardigans anymore!”

Me: “Yes, we do! They are right here on this table! What size or color would you like?”

Customer: “White, medium.”

Me: “That was pretty fast, right?”

Customer: “Sorry, I just didn’t want you to try to SELL me anything.”

Me: “Then why are you shopping?”


Doesn’t Understand The ‘Custom’ Part Of Customer, Part 4
Doesn’t Understand The ‘Custom’ Part Of Customer, Part 3
Doesn’t Understand The ‘Custom’ Part Of Customer, Part 2