Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • Your Connection Is Totally Forked
    (1,924 thumbs up)
  • November Theme Of The Month: I Don't Work Here!
    Submit your story today!

    Category: Extra Stupid

    This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

    This Will Become Herb And Legend

    | NY, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (I am working as a bartender in a posh Upper East Side Italian restaurant that often has long waits for tables. Customers are encouraged to order drinks and appetizers from the bar. We have just begun offering Neapolitan style pizzas as an appetizer. An older, affluent couple sits down in the bar area and proceeds to order drinks and ask about our different pizza offerings.)

    Customer: “Could you tell us a little more about your white pizza.”

    Me: “Yes, sir. It is a thin Neapolitan style pizza topped with olive oil and an herb and cheese blend.”

    Customer: “Excuse me, but do we look like saggy pants wearing, hip hop rap loving, people? This is an affluent, sophisticated neighborhood. Why would you even consider serving us urban cheese. Do we look like we are on welfare?”

    Customer’s Wife: *loudly* “I mean, my god, what would make you think your customers would ever pay $14 for something with urban cheese on it. I am disgusted at the thought.”

    Me: “I am terribly sorry to have caused you so much concern. I believe I may have spoken too fast and caused a misunderstanding. The pizza bianca con erbe e formaggio is a pizza without tomato sauce, instead it is made with olive oil and an HERRRB and cheese blend.”

    (They asked for a moment to think about it, and as I returned to the bar I noticed they very quietly got up and left the restaurant.)

    Covered For The Next 20 Years

    | Alexandria, VA, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

    Employee: “How can I help you, sir?”

    Me: “I just bought this phone yesterday and I can’t hear anyone who calls me. They sound muffled and tinny.”

    Employee: “Ah, I know what your problem is.”

    (I haven’t even shown him my phone yet, so I assume he’s going to give me some smart-a** presumptuous answer.)

    Employee: “Did you leave the plastic cover on the screen that ships with the phone?”

    Me: “Well, yeah, at least until I buy a good screen protector.”

    Employee: “…”

    Me: “Oh. It covers the speaker, too, doesn’t it? That’s rather embarrassing.”

    Employee: “Don’t worry; you’re not the first to come in here with that problem.”

    Me: “Oh, good, that makes me feel better.”

    Employee: “But you are the youngest by about 20 years.”

    You Can See Where This Is Going

    | Toronto, ON, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

    (A big part of my job involves helping users log on to the company website.)

    Me: “Remember, the new password that you create must contain at least one letter and at least one number.”

    Customer: *becoming irate* “What? One number? How am I supposed to remember that?”

    Me: “I would suggest just choosing a word and then putting the number one at the end of it.”

    Customer: “I’m never going to remember that! Can I use two numbers?”

    Me: “Yes, as long as you have at least one number.”

    Customer: “But, wait just a minute. I have another question. Can I use three numbers?”

    Me: “…yes.”

    No Meat In Their Brain, Part 3

    | MA, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Health & Body

    (I’m working the register at a popular coffee shop chain. A woman inspects our breakfast sandwiches for a few minutes before approaching me.)

    Customer: “Can I get one of the reduced fat turkey bacon sandwiches?”

    Me: “I’m so sorry; we just sold out of those. Is there anything else I can offer you today?”

    Customer: “Well, what else do you have that’s vegetarian?”

    Related:
    No Meat In Their Brain, Part 2
    No Meat In Their Brain

    Bigots United

    | MA, USA | Bigotry, Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid

    (I am the assistant manager at a rent-to-own home goods company. Since payments pay for the week in advance there are no grace periods and, due to the customer base, repossessions are common. I am female, white, pagan, and lesbian. My boss is male, Cambodian, Buddhist, and an immigrant.)

    Customer: *storms in* “You guys are racist! I’m gonna sue you all!”

    Me: “Hi! How can I help you today?”

    Customer: “Your truck showed up and took my s***! I want it back now or I’ll sue you f*** racists!”

    Me: “Let me take a look at your account so we can figure out what is going on. What’s your name?”

    Customer: “You know d** well what my name is! This whole store is a bunch of f****** racists.”

    (Aside from myself and the manager we only have two other employees. One is male, Hispanic, and very Catholic, and the other is male, a very dark skinned Haitian, and practices voodoo. Between the four of us we represent four religions, four races, gay/straight, married/unmarried, young/middle age, male/female, etc… My manager comes out from his office.)

    Manager: “Hello, what seems to be the problem?”

    Customer: “You are all a bunch of racists and bigots. You sent your truck just to persecute me!”

    Manager: “Sir, please calm down. We sent out truck because you have not been in to pay your bill in three weeks.”

    Customer: “Bulls***! You sent it because you can’t stand someone like me to have nice things!”

    (My truck guys are protective over me. They hear the commotion and come out of the back, standing behind me and the manager.)

    Customer: “Give me my s*** back! I’m gonna call the cops and tell them what a bunch of f****** racists you are!”

    Me: “We would be happy to return the items, sir. We just need you to catch your account up. With three weeks behind, and then the next week ahead, it makes four weeks total. That comes to—”

    Customer: “Oh, H***, NO! I’m not paying that s***! You bunch of bigots! You are gonna give me back my s*** for FREE or I’m gonna sue!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir. You need to catch up your account before we can re-deliver.”

    Customer: “Listen here, you little b****! I know my rights! I’m gonna sue! You’re all a bunch of racists and bigots!”

    Truck Guy: “Against what, exactly?”

    (The customer finally paused long enough to look at us… in all of our cultural rainbow glory… then turned and walked out quickly!)

    Page 4/222First...23456...Last