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    Category: Extra Stupid

    This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

    Isn’t Buying Into The Sale

    | Sacramento, CA, USA | Extra Stupid

    (We regularly have deals on cases of paper where a customer can purchase a specified number of cases, and receive another one for free. A customer comes into the store and makes a bee-line for the sale cases. This week’s deal is buy two, get one free.)

    Customer: “Two cases of paper, please!”

    (I immediately suspect there will be an issue. I radio for an associate to start heading to the paper display in case there’s a dispute, then ring up the customer’s paper.)

    Me: “Okay! Your total is [cost of two full price cases and sales tax].”

    Customer: “What!? Your sign says buy two, get one free! Why isn’t my second one free!?”

    Me: “Sir, buy two get one means that you have to BUY TWO cases first. Then your third one’s free.”

    Customer: “THAT’S NOT WHAT THE AD SIGN SAYS!”

    Me: “It is, sir. It says BUY TWO. You know, like PURCHASE TWO? You have to PAY FOR two cases before you get the third one?”

    Customer: “THAT’S NOT WHAT IT SAYS! I WANT MY SECOND CASE FOR FREE!”

    Me: “Sir, I can’t just give you a free case of paper. The sale you’re thinking of is buy one, get one – not buy two get one.”

    (At this point I’m pretty sure the customer realizes his error. There is a long pause while he stares at me expectantly, and then…)

    Customer: “FINE! Give me my third case! But I want to speak to your store manager! That’s misleading and you’re cheating people out of their money!”

    Me: “Sure thing, sir. Here’s his business card. He’ll be in tomorrow. Have a nice night!”

    Doesn’t Have The Laws Of Physics In The Bag

    | Dallas, TX, USA | Extra Stupid, Tourists/Travel, Transportation

    (I am getting in line at security in the airport. In front of me is a middle-aged lady reading the sign stating that the TSA does not allow any bottles of liquid larger than three ounces through security. Underneath the sign is a box of quart-sized plastic bags. She has a plastic bag in one hand and a large drink bottle in the other hand. I watch her look between the plastic bag and the large bottle. She puts the large bottle in the quart sized plastic bag so that over half of it is sticking out and puts the whole thing into her backpack. My travel instincts kick in and quickly walk to get ahead of her in the security line. Sure enough, as I am packing my stuff up outside of security I hear her screaming.)

    Lady: “But it’s in the bag! It should be fine! I put it in the bag.”

    TSA Agent: “Ma’am, it doesn’t work that way!”

    Lady: “I PUT IT IN THE BAG!”

    (Apparently in her mind a quart sized plastic bag makes a 16 ounce drink magically become less than three ounces!)

    Not Quite Ringing True

    | England, UK | Extra Stupid, Health & Body

    (I have brought my friend into the hospital.)

    Doctor: “What seems to be the problem?”

    Friend: “I think I inhaled my nose ring…”

    Me: *trying not to laugh*

    Doctor: “Do you think you swallowed it?”

    Friend: “Uhm, yes. But I also feel a lump at the back of my throat…”

    Doctor: *does examination* “Okay, I can’t see anything but I’ll send you for an x-ray. When did this happen?”

    Friend: “Three days ago.”

    Doctor: “So you waited three days to get checked out when you thought you had a piece of metal stuck in your throat, yet you’re breathing, eating, and drinking fine for those three days?”

    Friend: “Yeah.”

    Doctor: “Okay, I’ll send you for an x-ray.”

    (Not surprisingly, the x-ray came back clear and almost everyone was trying to hold in their laughter!)

    There Are No Stupid Questions, Just Stupid Answers

    | NJ, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

    (I work in a bank’s contact center, where we frequently assist online banking customers with various things, including their online security questions.)

    Customer: “I’m locked out again! The computer asked me for my oldest sibling’s middle name, so I put my son’s middle name in there, and it said it was wrong!”

    Lucky Dollar Thirteen

    | OH, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Math & Science

    (It is my first day working the cash register, and everything is going well. A customer approaches my register with a handful of items. At first, she can’t figure out which items she wishes to use for which promotions, constantly changing her mind. Then she wants to use multiple (expired) coupons on her purchase. I call my coworker over to help explain to the customer how the promotions and coupons work. We finally get her straightened out on the promotions, and then this exchange happens.)

    Customer: “Okay, I think I got it. Now, with this coupon I get one item free, right?”

    Me:” Yes, ma’am, one item up to $13.”

    Customer: “Okay, well, these items here are about $13 total. Can I use those?”

    Me: “No, ma’am, the coupon is for one item up to $13.”

    Customer: “Oh, okay. I’d like to use this item, then.”

    (She places her coupon on a $14 item.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but you can’t use the coupon to get that item free; it’s $14.”

    Customer: “But, you said $13.”

    Coworker: “Yes, up to $13, but that is $14.”

    Customer: “But, you said $13.”

    Coworker: “Yes, up to $13. THAT’S $14.”

    Customer: “But… didn’t you say $13?”

    Coworker:  Yes, the coupon is up to $13. That item is $14.”

    (This continues back and forth for nearly a minute.)

    Customer: “OH! You mean INCLUDING $13!”

    Coworker: “Yes?”

    Customer: “Well, the coupon should say that. I’ll find another item.”

    (The customer goes to get another item– We still don’t know if she understood a word we said. Since we don’t know how long the customer is going to take, I invite the next customer in line to come to the register.)

    Next Customer: *sets her items on the counter with a gracious smile* “I have four items and no coupons.”

    Me: “I am so sorry for your wait, ma’am…”

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