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    Category: Extra Stupid

    This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

    Can Tell You Are Closed With My Eyes Closed

    | Victoria, BC, Canada | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid

    (I am at the end of my nine-hour shift as a cashier on a busy Saturday, and am just finishing up with the last customer in my line. My register’s light is off, there is a closed sign at the end of my belt, and my last customer has kindly put up a large closed sign that stretches across the entrance of the lane and blocks access to my till.)

    Customer #1: *as I ring up his items* “You look tired. You must be excited to go home?”

    Me: “Yes. It’s been a long day.”

    (I look up to see a customer climbing over the large closed sign, nearly tripping and spilling his overflowing basket of the items, and heading towards my belt.)

    Me: “Sir! I’m sorry but my till is closed.”

    Customer #2: “Well, how was I supposed to know that?”

    Customer #1: “Seriously?”

    Picture Perfect

    | AR, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

    (I work as a library clerk in the computer lab. Over the next couple of nights we have a gentleman come in who is completely computer illiterate. I’ve tried to explain the best I can as how to go about searching online for information, or watching videos. On this particular night he seems to understand the computer a little more.)

    Patron: “Excuse me, I need help.”

    Me: “Sure, what can I help you with?”

    Patron: “This video won’t load! I’ve been staring at it for the last 30 minutes, and nothing has happened!”

    (I take in the problem quickly, and try not to laugh.)

    Me: “Sir, you’ve been looking at a picture for the last 30 minutes, not a video.”

    Should Keep Better Account Of Their Account, Part 2

    | AR, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

    (I work as a library clerk in a large computer lab available for patrons. An older lady walks in and needs some assistance with creating an email account.)

    Me: Ma’am, it seems that this username is being used by someone else. You’ll have to choose another.”

    Patron: “Of course it is; it’s my username.”

    Me: “You already have an account with [email site]?”

    Patron: “Yes. Why can’t I use my own username?”

    Me: “Well if you have an email account, and you forgot your password, I can help you retrieve it.”

    Patron: “No, I’ve tried and it wont give me my password.”

    Me: “… Okay… Well, if you want to create a new account you’ll have to use a different username.”

    Patron: “Why? It’s my username.”

    Me: “It’s already taken. You can only use that username once.”

    Patron: “Why?”

    Me: “Because that’s the way they set it up.”

    Patron: “Well, that’s dumb.”

    Related:
    Should Keep Better Account Of Their Account

    A Sad Sign Of The Times

    | Houston, TX, USA | Extra Stupid, Politics, Transportation

    (I walk into the local shipping store to drop off a package. There is a senior couple in front of me. I overheard the last part of the conversation between the wife and the employee.)

    Wife: “So, you’re telling me that this store doesn’t have that promotion?”

    Employee: “No, I’m sorry. We’re privately owned, so we’re not carrying out the promotion.”

    Wife: “Well, you should have signs here telling me that!”

    Employee: “Yeah, I’m sorry…”

    Wife: *walks towards the exit while her husband slowly follows her behind him* “This is the seventh store I’ve been to that doesn’t have the promotion. Liars. They’re all LIARS! Just like OBAMA! He’s a LIAR! OBAMA! LIAR!”

    Husband: *looks at me and shrugs, embarrassed*

    Seriously Cheesed Off

    | FL, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (I work in the deli section of my store. We have only one meat slicer and one cheese slicer. Right now, we have a long line at the slicers. My coworker is slicing meat and I’m slicing cheese.)

    Me: *to the line of people* “Cheese? Cheese? Anyone getting sliced cheese?”

    (A customer puts his phone down and approaches.)

    Customer #1: “Hi, can I have a pound of turkey?”

    Me: “Okay. Any cheese for you, sir?”

    Customer #1: “No, I’m not getting cheese.”

    Me: “Oh. Well, I was asking about cheese. My buddy here is slicing meat. He’ll be with you in a moment.”

    (He gives me a disgruntled look and gets back in line.)

    Me: *louder* “Is anyone getting cheese sliced today?”

    (Another customer approaches me.)

    Customer #2: “Yes, can I get cooked ham, please?”

    Me: “Do you need any cheese, sir?”

    Customer #2: “No.”

    Me: “Then I’m afraid there will be a short wait. I’m only slicing cheese; my coworker is doing the meat.”

    Customer #2: “Um, okay.”

    (He gets back in line.)

    Coworker: *snickering*

    Me: *very loudly* “DOES ANYONE HERE NEED SLICED CHEESE?”

    (A little old lady walks up to me.)

    Customer #3: “I want to get some turkey breast, please.”

    Me: “Are you getting any cheese, ma’am?”

    Customer #3: “No, I don’t need any.”

    Me: *sighing* “I’m sorry, I’m only slicing cheese. He’s doing meat. I’m doing cheese.”

    Customer #3: “You mean I have to wait?!”

    Me: “We only have one meat slicer, ma’am.”

    (She throws her hands up in frustration and gets back in line. My coworker is now chuckling loudly.)

    Me: “Well, since no one needs cheese, I’m going to go clean up the mess in the cooler.”

    Coworker: “What mess?”

    Me: “The one that’s going to be there after I face-palm my brains all over the wall…”

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