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    Category: Extra Stupid

    This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

    Taking Truth Down To The Wire

    | WI, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology, Theme Of The Month

    (When our store first started using spiderwire (an alarmed wire wrapped around packaging) we weren’t allowed to tell people what is was, for whatever reason. When asked, I would just say it is a security device. I am pressed on how it works by one belligerent customer:)

    Me: “This is a sophisticated anti-theft system we’ve just invested in. If one leaves the store it will automatically engage the alarm and trigger the GPS tracking. We then relay the information to the police. It’s so we can not only stop theft, but bust thieves in their own homes.”

    (The customer’s mouth was open with shock.)

    Customer: “I didn’t realize [Store] was capable of that!”

    (He then set his item wrapped in wire down slowly and literally ran out of the store.)

    Free KiWiFi

    | Australia | Criminal/Illegal, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (As we fill the bunks in the fresh produce department off loaded trolleys, we often get customers asking if they can take items directly off the trolley instead of the display. Of course, we tell them yes.)

    Me: *cheerfully filling kiwi fruit*

    Customer: *takes one off the trolley* “Can I take this?”

    Me: “Of course.”

    Customer: *kiwi fruit in hand, strolls out of the store*

    Me: *stunned*

    (Now I always remember to say ‘only if you pay for it.’ Thanks, random customer, for making me sound like a b**** to all the paying customers.)

    Got To Give Him Credit For Trying, Part 2

    | Montgomery, AL, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Money

    (The credit card machines are down at the fast food place I work for. I am taking orders on the headset.)

    Me: “Thank you for stopping at [Fast Food]. Our credit card machines are currently down so we are only accepting cash right now.”

    Customer: “Oh, that’s fine. I don’t have a credit card. I have a debit card.”

    Me: *trying to hold back laughter* “I’m sorry; ma’am, but we can’t accept a debit card either.”

    Related:
    Got To Give Him Credit For Trying

    Wasting Quality Time On Quality Food

    | Winnipeg, MB, Canada | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (My sister and I are in line at a popular fry and poutine joint. We are at the front of the line, but haven’t quite decided what we want yet. There is a customer behind us, so we tell her to go ahead if she knows what she wants. The following exchange ensues.)

    Cashier: “Hello. What can I get for you tonight?”

    Customer: “What is on your bacon poutine?”

    Cashier: “Um, bacon, cheese curd, and gravy.”

    Customer: “What about the pulled pork poutine?”

    Cashier: *motions to the board behind him where every menu item is listed with

    ingredients* “Pulled pork. Cheese curd. Gravy.”

    Customer: “And the Phillie cheesesteak poutine?”

    (She continued to go through all 20 menu items. Eventually the cashier just turned around and read off the board as blatantly as he could. Entire transaction time: 17 minutes.)

    French Disconnection

    | FL, USA | Extra Stupid, Family & Kids, Language & Words, Technology

    Me: “Thank you for calling [Store]. How can I help you?”

    Customer: “Hi. I’m looking for a specific game for my son and want to know if you have it there.”

    Me: “I can certainly check that for you, sir. What’s the name of the game?”

    Customer:John Dark.”

    (I look it up under both ‘John’ and ‘Dark,’ but nothing comes up.)

    Me: “I’m sorry. I can’t seem to find a game by that name in my system here. Are you sure that’s the name of the game?”

    Customer: “Yeah, I’m 100% sure. It’s for his PSP.”

    (At the mention of the PSP, I realize which game he’s talking about, and find it rather quickly.)

    Me: “Ah, I see. The name of the game is actually Jeanne d’Arc, and yes, we do have—”

    Customer: “No, that’s not the name of it. It’s John Dark.”

    Me: “I mean no offense by this, but I understand that it may be a little hard to pronounce. It’s Jeanne d’Arc. It’s actually French for ‘Joan of Arc.’”

    Customer: “But my son doesn’t speak French!”

    Me: “Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to imply that you need to know French to play the game. It’s all in English; only the title is French.”

    Customer: “But my son doesn’t speak French! And it’s John Dark!” *hangs up*

    (I think that’s the end of it, but a little later that day, a man comes into the store and makes a beeline for the PSP rack, and finds the game.)

    Customer: “I want to by this game here, John Dark.”

    (I decide not to correct him, thinking there’s no reasoning with him, hoping I can just get him checked out quickly. As I’m getting the game, he comments.)

    Customer: “Yeah, I called earlier and one of your guys lied to me about this game.”

    Me: “Oh, I’m so sorry about that, sir. What did he say?”

    Customer: “He said that you have to speak French to play this game! But my son said you don’t have to speak French! And he doesn’t even speak French!”

    Me: “I deeply apologize for that, sir. I can assure you that you don’t need to understand French to play this game.”

    Customer: “Good. I’m glad I was able to find this John Dark game for my son!”

    (A regular customer of mine is nearby, and can’t stand hearing this guy talk.)

    Regular: “No offense, dude, but it’s called Jeanne d’Arc. I don’t even know French but I can still tell that that’s French for ‘Joan of Arc.’”

    Customer: “BUT MY SON DOESN’T SPEAK FRENCH!”

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