Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • Casting The First Stone Cold Glare
    (1,800 thumbs up)
  • August Theme Of The Month: We Are Closed!
    Submit your story today!

    Category: Extra Stupid

    This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

    Lost And Found Rebound

    | USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid

    (I work for a section of a resort that plans activities, sells discount cards for certain activities, etc. Our lost and found section is behind our desks, in the break room.)

    Customer: “Have you had a brown purse turned in to your lost and found?”

    Me: “Give me just one second and I’ll go back and see about that for you!”

    Customer: “Can you make it quick? I really don’t have the time.”

    (I go back and look for the purse in our lost and found. It is not there.)

    Me: “Ma’am, I see no purses back there resembling the one you’ve described. You can fill out a lost item report and someone will call you if the item shows up.”

    Customer: “I do not want to fill out a report! This is ridiculous! Let me see if it’s back there!”

    (Customer charges back behind the desks, heading straight for me, full-steam ahead.)

    Me: “Ma’am, you’re not allowed back there!”

    (A manager sees what’s going on and comes over.)

    Manager: “Ma’am, I can assure you. If my employee didn’t see your purse back there, it isn’t back there.”

    Customer: “This is bulls***! Let me go back there!”

    (Customer charges again, only to be held back by my manager.)

    Manager: “Ma’am, could you give us a better description of the purse?”

    Customer: “Oh, my god! It’s brown, and has one strap. It’s Coach. It has an iPhone, a Coach wallet, and a makeup bag inside it!”

    Manager: “Does it resemble the purse hanging off your shoulder?”

    (Customer looks at her shoulder and her mouth drops open.)

    Customer: “You planted it on me while I wasn’t looking! You were going to steal it if I hadn’t come back here!”

    A Pint-Sized Understanding

    | Edinburgh, Scotland, UK | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    Customer: “I’ll just take a pint, please.”

    Me: “Sure, what would you like a pint of?”

    Customer: “I just want a pint.”

    Me: “Yes. but what would you like?”

    Customer: “I want a pint. You work in a bar. How do you not know what a pint is?”

    Me: “Sorry. A pint is a unit of measurement; I am just asking what you would like a pint of.”

    Customer: “I DON’T KNOW! JUST GIVE ME A PINT!”

    Me: “Of course.”

    (I got him a pint of water. He was not happy.)

    Factoring In The Factory

    | Caledonia, NY, USA | Extra Stupid

    (I’m a cashier and a customer comes in one day wanting to return a pair of earbuds, so I begin processing the return.)

    Customer: “You guys need to learn how to make your electronics work better when you put them together in the back.”

    Me: “Sir, we don’t manufacture any products in the back room. Everything is shipped to us.”

    Customer: “What do you mean you don’t make anything here? I thought all stores did that!”

    The Art Of Listening Is Out Of Print

    | Sacramento, CA, USA | Bizarre, Extra Stupid

    (A customer approaches me, holding a USB drive.)

    Me: “Hello! Got some printing to do today, I see. From your USB drive, there?”

    Customer: “Hello! I need to print something from my USB drive!”

    (I assume she didn’t hear all of what I said, hence repeating the bit about the USB drive, and continue.)

    Me: “Alrighty, no worries! We’ll go over to the PC here and print. Will it be black and white, or color printing?”

    Customer: “Black and white, and then I need to fax the pages.”

    Me: “Sure thing! I’ll print them for you, and then you can use our self-serve fax machine by the wall there.”

    Customer: “Okay!”

    (The customer accepts her copies, and then continues to stand and look at me.)

    Me: “So, you’re all set! Here’s your USB drive back.”

    Customer: “I need to fax these.”

    (By now I’m beginning to notice a trend. Apparently the customer doesn’t pay any attention to what I’m saying even when she’s asked a question.)

    Me: “The fax machine is self-serve, ma’am, and it’s by that wall there. We also keep pens by the fax machine if you need to use one.”

    Customer: “Oh, okay! But… have you got a pen I can borrow?”

    (I repeat myself. Again.)

    Me: “Ma’am, the pens are next to the fax machine which is by that wall. Just walk right down this counter and you’ll see the machine.”

    (The customer sends her fax, then comes back to pay.)

    Customer: “Can I check out here?”

    Me: “Sure! Your total today is [price].”

    (Just to be safe, I rephrase the total and repeat it to her, given how much attention she paid to everything I said before.)

    Me: “That’s [total].”

    (The customer puts her purse on the counter and rummages around a minute.)

    Customer: “Wait, how much did you say it was?”

    Selling Out Is Selling Out

    | OH, USA | Awesome Customers, Bizarre, Extra Stupid

    (I work in an electronics store that has been having a huge sale on TVs. One customer calls asking about a model that we just sold out of.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir. We’re sold out of that model right now.”

    Caller: “Oh, that’s too bad.”

    (At this point I hear a noise in the background. It sounded like someone shouting.)

    Background: “What’s wrong?”

    Caller: “They don’t have any.”

    Background: “Why not? It’s in the ad!”

    Caller: “They sold out.”

    Background: “What?! Why did they do that?”

    Caller: “Why did the- What?”

    (He makes several noises, as if he’s struggling to understand her question. He apparently fails.)

    Background: “Why did they sell them all?”

    Caller: “Seriously? That’s what they DO! They sell things!”

    Background: “ALL of them?”

    Caller: “YES!”

    Background: “Well, that doesn’t make any sense!”

    (This goes on for another 10 MINUTES, and I am unable to will myself to hang up. Three coworkers and two managers have also picked up the line and listen as well, before the call abruptly drops, much to everyone’s disappointment.)


    Page 37/197First...3536373839...Last