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    Category: Extra Stupid

    This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

    Acting Like It’s The End Of The World

    | Cornelius, OR, USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Money

    Me: “Hi! How are you today?”

    Customer: “Three days ago the yarn was $1 and now it’s $3.”

    Me: “Yes, ma’am.”

    Customer: “Why isn’t it $1?”

    Me: “Because it was on sale, but the sale ended yesterday.”

    Customer: *annoyed, hands on her hips* “Why did it do that?!”

    (I start laughing until I realize she’s dead serious. I quickly stop and look at her blankly.)

    Me: “Um… because that’s what sales do. They… end.”

    When The Cat’s Away The Dogs Have A Spa Day

    | CA, USA | Extra Stupid, Pets & Animals, Theme Of The Month

    (I am the groomer at a veterinary hospital. Midway through my shift I go to grab a cat I have scheduled for a bath. To keep their stress to a minimum there is a room that is exclusively for cats. All boarding and grooming cats are kept there. As soon as I enter the room the cat is already growling and hissing. Take note: the cat has a short coat and the hair looks very shiny. After a quick glance at the chart I call up the owner.)

    Me: “[Cat] is already a little grumpy, so I’m a bit hesitant to work on him. I don’t want to stress him out any more than I have to. His coat looks pretty clean. Was there a particular reason you wanted him washed today?”

    Client: “Well, my dogs are there to get groomed all the time, getting their spa days. I didn’t want him feeling left out…”

    Stupidity Is On Fire Today

    | TN, USA | Extra Stupid, Hotels & Lodging

    (I and my brother work in a motel. We use traditional metal keys instead of the card keys you often see these days. The locks are old and sometimes door locks can be reluctant to open and you have to jiggle them a little. One day an angry man comes in while we’re working.)

    Customer: “My key doesn’t work! It won’t turn in the lock!”

    Brother: “Yes, sir, sometimes the keys can do that. Try this one.”

    (My brother hands him another key. The customer comes back in shortly thereafter.)

    Customer: “The key you gave me didn’t work either!”

    Brother: “All right, sir. Let me take another one down there and try to unlock the door for you.”

    (My brother goes to the man’s room with him with both keys he had and yet another one. Upon testing all three keys, not one of them gives him any issue at all opening the door. Nonetheless, my brother leaves the newest key with him and tells him that if he has any more trouble, to come back to the office. Later that day, surely enough the man returns.)

    Customer: “YOUR D*** KEYS STILL DON’T WORK! I can’t believe this s***! What if there was a fire?!”

    (My brother and I look at one another trying not to laugh, to which I respond.)

    Me: “Well, sir… if there were a fire, I hope you would be trying to get out of the motel, not in.”

    (The customer looks back at us, turns red-faced, and calms down after that. We take him back to his room and let him in once more. After that we don’t hear from him again.)

    Is That A Tumor In Your Pocket…

    | NC, USA | Extra Stupid, Pets & Animals, Theme Of The Month

    (A customer comes in and is very concerned about the ‘tumor’ on her male dog’s stomach.)

     Me: “That’s not a tumor, ma’am. It’s called a bulbus glandus. It just means he’s, um, really happy to see you.”

    Not In Good (Insurance) Company

    | Perth, WA, Australia | Extra Stupid, Transportation

    (I work on the front desk at a repair shop. A client calls us back; they called earlier and spoke with someone else.)

    Client: “I need you to tell me who my insurance is.”

    Me: “…Pardon?”

    Client: “I called before and you told me that I needed to find out who insured my car, so tell me who insures my car!”

    Me: “Er, sorry, I wouldn’t know that. You need to know who your insurance is with.”

    Client: “Well, I don’t know who my insurance is! Find out for me!”

    Me: “I can’t do that. There’s more than two dozen insurance companies in the immediate area alone. Do you have any documents about your insurance? An insurance policy? An invoice?”

    Client: “This is bullshit! I pay $1000 a month to be insured, and you don’t even know who it is?”

    Me: “Sorry, sir, but we aren’t your insurance company. We fix cars. We don’t know who your insurance company is.”

    Client: “WHY NOT?!”

    Me: “Because we aren’t your insurance company, we haven’t ensured your car, and you have never dealt with us before. There is no way for us to know where your car is insured.”

    Client: “When I bought this car, I spent a lot of money on getting this protection pack and I was promised [Insurance Company]‘s extended protection and—”

    Me: “Excuse me—”

    Client: “I’m not finished!”

    (Cue a five minute long rant about how he spent so much money on his car, during which he mentions the insurance company’s name no less than four times.)

    Me: “Excuse me, sir. But did you say that you have [Insurance Company]‘s protection?

    Client: “YES!”

    Me: “So, you mean [Insurance Company] is your insurance company?”

    Client: “How should I know?!”

    Me: “Okay, well, if you have [Insurance Company]‘s cover, then that is your insurance company.”

    Client: “God, was that so f***ing hard?!”

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