Category: Extra Stupid

This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

Making A Mockingjay Out Of You

| USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Movies & TV

(I’m working in the box office on a slow night.)

Customer: *after movie gets out* “Can I get a refund? That movie was horrible! I hated the ending!”

Me: “I’m sorry. What did you see?”

Customer:  “Catching Fire. It just ended! How am I supposed to know what happens next? It was getting really good and then it just stopped. I don’t understand why they would do that!”

Me: “Oh, well there is actually another movie coming out. It’s originally based on a book trilogy; Catching Fire is based off of the second book.”

Customer: “So that’s not the end?”

Me: “No, ma’am, the next movie will probably be out in a couple years.”

Customer: “So it’s like Breaking Dawn?”

Me: “Yes…”

Customer: “Oh, that makes so much more sense! Bye!”

Can’t Even Save Their Own Skin

| NH, USA | Extra Stupid, Health & Body, Tourists/Travel

(I work in a doctor’s office, and am sitting in the nurses station during patient call-backs when I overhear this conversation:)

Nurse: “Hi, this is [Nurse] calling from [Doctor’s Office]. Is [Patient] there?”

Patient: “Yes, speaking.”

Nurse: “I’m calling to let you know that the results of your biopsy are in, and I’m afraid they came back as a skin cancer that needs to be addressed right away. Would you be able to come in for surgery on [date and time two days from now]?”

Patient: “Oh… um, I’m going on vacation then.”

Nurse: “This is a serious problem that needs to be taken care of as soon as possible. Is there any way you can push your vacation start back? You will be able to travel after your procedure without a problem.”

Patient: *getting angry* “Absolutely not! Do you know how much it will cost me to change my tickets? I’m going to Europe for a three month tour!”

Nurse: “You can’t be serious?! This is a cancer that will grow and spread and has the potential to become lethal. I strongly advise that you—”

Patient: “NO! I won’t hear it. You doctor types think that you all have a God complex! Not everything is life or death!”

Nurse: “This actually is! Please, if you can’t commit to an appointment today, call us and make one as soon as possible!”

Patient: “I’ll have nothing to do with this. I’ll get a second opinion! I’ve read the Internet and I know how often you people are wrong just to make an extra buck!” *slams the phone down, ending the call*

(The kicker? The procedure to remove the skin cancer would have taken less than an hour, and she would have been able to hop on her flight to Europe. In the time she said she’d be gone, her grade 2 cancer, which is treatable, had the potential to become a grade 3 or 4 cancer, which would greatly reduce her chances of having it successfully removed, and increase her risk of it spreading to other organs!)

Taxing Faxing, Part 13

, | Salt Lake City, UT, USA | Extra Stupid, Money, Technology

(Customers will call to purchase service contracts for their mobile phones.)

Me: “Sorry, sir, but after your credit check, I am afraid that you will have to pay a deposit.”

Customer: “How?”

Me: “We can take payment usually over the phone. Or there is also a payment form that can be downloaded, printed, and either faxed or mailed to us.”

Customer: “Okay, I’ll fax it!”

(The customer ended up faxing cash. That’s right, cash. He FAXED us four $100 bills! And then just couldn’t understand when we told him it wasn’t a valid method of payment…)

Related:
Taxing Faxing, Part 12
Taxing Faxing, Part 11
Taxing Faxing, Part 10

Not In A Good State To Come In

| Raleigh, NC, USA | Extra Stupid, Geography, Time

(I am working the front desk, and the phone rings. It is about 2:45 in the afternoon.)

Caller: “Hi. I was wondering if [Stylist] has any appointments today.”

Me: “Sorry, we don’t have a stylist by that name here, but I could make you an appointment with someone else. The earliest we can fit you in is 3:15.”

Caller: “Great, I’ll take it.”

(I make the appointment. 3:15 comes, and the girl does not show up. At 3:30 I give her a call back.)

Me: “Hi, [Caller]. Are you still planning to come in?”

Caller: “Yeah, 3:15 right?”

Me: “Yes, but it’s 3:35 now.”

Caller: “No, it’s only 12:35.”

Me: “This is [Salon] in Raleigh, North Carolina.”

Caller: “Oh… I’m in Idaho.”

Business Center Is Out Of Business

| USA | Extra Stupid, Hotels & Lodging, Technology, Wild & Unruly

(The door to our business center is always closed and locked to keep out non-guests who have, in the past, put viruses on the computers. To open it, the guest must ask the front desk. There is a sign.)

Guest: *tries to open the door* “Come ON!”

Me: “Sir—”

(The guest begins punching the door so violently that the door and door lock instantly break. As if nothing has happened, the guest wanders back to the front desk.)

Guest: “The business center door is broken.”

Me: “Gee, I wonder why…”

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