November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

Category: Extra Stupid

This site is full of Customers; their stupid and moronic exploits that make us laugh. But these gems contained within are for those special cases, the extra stupid, the ones that make you wonder how they have survived this long!

Zero Chance Of Success

| ON, Canada | Extra Stupid, Language & Words, Technology

(If someone’s phone number area code is 905, it is commonly said as ‘nine-oh-five’ instead of ‘nine-zero-five.’ Everyone who has ever sent a letter in Canada, also knows that Postal Codes are always Letter-Number-Letter, Number-Letter-Number. I am trying to do an online order for a customer, who has been very difficult throughout the entire transaction. I am taking his shipping information down.)

Me: “Okay, and what’s your postal code?”

Customer: “P, ‘oh,’ E, 5, Y ‘oh.'”

(I type it in and ask for the rest of his info, but the computer tells me the postal code is wrong.)

Me: “Hmm, that’s weird, it’s telling me the postal code is incorrect. Maybe I typed it in wrong. Can you repeat it to me, please?”

Customer: “P, ‘oh,’ E, 5, Y ‘oh.'”

(I type in P0E 5Y0.)

Me: “No, it still says it’s wrong. Maybe it doesn’t want me to put a space. Did your area’s postal code recently change?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Okay, I’ll try again.” *I try again, and nothing*

Customer: “You do know that when I say ‘oh’, it’s not a letter, right? It’s the number Zero.”

Me: “Yes, I know that. I’m putting in zeros.”

Customer: “Because ‘oh’ and zero aren’t the same thing. They may look the same, but they’re not.”

Me: “I know. I put in zeros.”

(I try again, but it still says it’s wrong.)

Me: *to an associate* “Can you put his postal code in? I keep trying with capitals, no capitals, spaces, no spaces, and it keeps telling me it’s wrong. I’ll bet you if someone else just does it, it’ll work.”

(My associate comes over and asks for the postal code.)

Me: “P, ‘oh,’ E, 5, Y ‘oh.'”

Customer: “They’re not ‘oh’s! They’re zeros! That’s why it’s not working!”

Associate: “I know they’re zeros, I know that postal codes are always letter-number-letter, number-letter,number.”

Customer: “But the computer doesn’t know that! The computer doesn’t know that you mean zero when you say ‘oh’!”

Me: “It doesn’t have to, because we’re not typing in ‘oh’s, we’re typing zeros. We’re just saying ‘oh’ because it’s easier. Everyone calls them ‘oh’s; even you did.”

(I tell my associate the postal code again, but I make sure to say ‘zero’ instead of ‘oh’ and when he types it in, it works.)

Me: “Thanks, I knew I just needed someone else to do it.”

Customer: “It’s because you were saying ‘oh’ the whole time! It’s not ‘oh’ it’s zero!”

(I wanted to smack him…)

An Argonizing Encounter

| London, England, UK | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Math & Science

Cashier: “Did you find everything you needed?”

Customer: “No. I was hoping you could help me, actually. I’m looking for a shampoo. I can’t remember the name but it has argon in it.”

Cashier: “Argon, madam?”

Customer: “Yes that’s right, argon.”

Cashier: “Oh! You must mean argan oil. I can show you…”

Customer: “No, no! I don’t want oil in my hair! I said ARGON.”

Cashier: “But madam, shampoo doesn’t contain—”

Customer: “Do you even know what argon is?”

Cashier: “Yes, madam. It’s a gas. Sometimes used in lightbulbs. I don’t think it’s used in shampoo, though.”

Customer: “You really don’t know what you’re talking about, do you? Just because it’s a gas doesn’t mean it can’t be mixed. Water has oxygen in it, you know!”

Me: “Excuse me, madam, but I’m in a hurry and if you’re looking for argon compounds you’re going to be here a very long time.”

Customer: “What do you know, exactly?”

Me: “I know that argon is a noble gas so you’re very unlikely to find any compounds of it in this shop.”

Customer: *scoffs* “It’s not that hard to get hold of it! They just use recycled lightbulbs.”

Me: “Noble doesn’t mean rare. The stuff’s over 20 times more common than carbon dioxide. It means it’s almost completely unreactive. To get a compound you could mix into a shampoo, you’d need a very high-tech lab and a lot more money than anyone would pay for shampoo.”

Customer: “Fine! I’ll go somewhere they know what they’re talking about!” *storms out*

Me: “Yeah, good luck with that.”

Cashier: “Um… yeah. Thanks for that”

Refunder Blunder, Part 14

| Hampshire, England, UK | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid

(I work in a clothes shop. Our returns policy is printed on the back of our receipt: 28 days for full price or 7 days if the item is sale. If over that amount of time, the item may be exchanged if it is unworn. A customer comes in with an item to return. I notice a problem.)

Me: “I’m sorry, but I’ll have to either exchange this or put it on a gift card, as you’ve gone over the seven days.”

Customer: *patronisingly* “Sweetie, there is a month for returns.”

Me: “28 days technically, but yes, there is usually an extended time for full price items. However this is sale. There are only 7 days for that.”

Customer: “No one told me!”

Me: “Well, I can’t say either way as this top wasn’t bought from our store, but I can say it is written in the back.” *I show her*

Customer: *scathingly* “Like anyone reads them!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but it is written down for you to read.”

(She starts creating a scene, saying how the customer is always right and how useless I am. Usually, when a customer does this they get what they want, so i check her receipt to see if she is in date for the full price return.)

Me: “Erm, excuse me?”

Customer: “What?!”

Me: “This was bought in early December. It’s now February. You’ve had this item for two months now, so even if it was full price, you wouldn’t be able to get a full refund.”

Customer: “Uh… really?”

Me: “Yep, see?” *I show her the receipt* “You bought it the 2nd December and it’s now the 6th February.”

(There is a pause.)

Me: “So… exchange or gift card?”

Refunder Blunder, Part 13
Refunder Blunder, Part 12
Refunder Blunder, Part 11

You’ll Pay For That Confusion

| USA | Extra Stupid, Money, Technology

(I’m cashiering one night when a lady comes through the line with some small items, and the transaction proceeds smoothly. She already has her wallet out and is looking through her cards when I ring up the last item.)

Me: “All right, your total is [price].”

Customer: *panicked* “Wait, I have to pay?!”

Me: “Um… yes. If you’d like to use a card, you can go ahead and slide it in the pinpad…”

(She paid after that without any problem, and I was left confused for the rest of the night.)

Wi-Fly Away

, | Roermond, The Netherlands | Extra Stupid, Technology

(I work as technical support for an Internet service provider in Belgium. Most of the calls are about wifi not working properly. It is known with us that the wireless range of our modems isn’t exactly great.)

Me: “Good morning, this is [My Name]. How may I help you?”

Customer: “Yes, I’m [Customer] and I’m having problems with my wifi connection.”

Me: “I’m sorry to hear that you have problems with your wifi connection. Do you see your network in the list of network connections on your computer?”

Customer: “Yes, I do see it, but it says I cannot connect because it’s not within range.”

Me: *fearing the worst, that she’s two floors away and the connection is too weak* “Okay… How far are your physically away from the modem?”

Customer: *long pause* “…I think I’m about 150km away.”

Me: “… uh… Miss, you do know the wifi technology is limited to about 10-15m max?”

Customer: “Oh…” *long pause* *click*